Sloshbucklers

Today, we’re drinking Corona Hard Seltzers! Be sure to follow Sloshbucklers on Twitter and Instagram @sloshbucklers. 

Business inquiries: [email protected]

TIMESTAMPS 

00:00 Let’s get started!

00:46 Origins of Corona

4:06 Nutrition Facts: 4.5%, 90 calories, 0g carb, 0g sugar. Retails for $15.99.

4:42 The fun begins with my guest, Chandler!

6:00 Tropical Lime

10:48 Packaging Review

13:12 Waft

13:20 Taste Test for Tropical Lime: flavor and fizz level

22:25 Begin our dump cup where we pour all the flavors into one cup which we’ll drink at the end!

22:53 The Drinking Game: Regrateful

26:47 Elaine regrets the original drinking game she tried to make at 2 a.m. the night before recording this episode.

28:09 Chandler’s heartbreaking story about pizza.

30:11 Mango

33:58 Packaging Review

35:18 Taste Test for Mango

38:42 Regrateful

38:42 Chandler’s ex was arrested.

40:47 Mais, non pour Elaine.

44:46 Breathing Break: Falling Out and Box Breaths

47:54 Sobering Thought: Depressed Fish!

52:48 Blackberry Lime

53:44 Packaging Review

54:00 Waft

54:45 Taste Test for Blackberry Lime

59:00 Regrateful

59:04 Elaine coulda been an (artsy) contendah!

1:01:55 Chandler and friends!

1:04:00 For some reason we start taste testing my dog’s food and treats lol.

1:08:50 Secrets

1:18:52 Cherry

1:21:09 Packaging Review

1:22:03 Waft

1:22:15 Taste Test for Cherry

1:26:11 Regrateful

1:28:20 Time to drink the Dump Cup! 

1:30:39 Overall Ranking

1:34:33 Outro

*Drink responsibly*

Today, we’re drinking Smirnoff Seltzers! Be sure to follow Sloshbucklers on Twitter and Instagram @sloshbucklers. Business inquiries: [email protected]

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Privyet, Sloshbuckler! 

2:13 The weird and wild history of P.A. Smirnov.

4:29 Nutrition facts: 4.5%, 90 calories, 1 carb, 0 sugar. Also, no vodka--still just fermented sugar like our other seltzers! Retails for $15.99.

5:17 The fun begins with my guest, Blaike! We chat about our experience with hard seltzer which morphs into our past with vodka lol.

9:45 Berry Lemonade

10:09 Packaging Review

12:44 If this can of Smirnoff Seltzer was a human, what would they be like? (A dangerous bit begins).

14:23 Taste Test for Berry Lemonade: Flavor and Fizz Level

18:18 Our ranking of BL using (in)famous Russians as our scale. (BL got a Trotsky, by the way).

19:34 The Drinking Game: Smirnophagus 

21:08 Blaike takes his first turn at this off-brand Russian Roulette.

23:08 Elaine selects her pick from the wrapped doggy poop bags of mini bottles (we’re low budget).

25:10 Lemon Lime

25:48 Packaging Review, including our character updates for each flavor.

26:49 Taste Test for Lemon Lime

29:27 Our Russian Rating: Lenin and Dmitri

30:08 Smirnophagus: Blaike pulls another horrible mini bottle and Elaine also suffers.

34:10 Sobering Thoughts

40:46 Black Cherry

41:46 Packaging Review

42:11 Taste Test for BC

46:26 The Russian Ratings: Olga Romanov and Rasputin

48:47 Smirnophagus: The worst round yet.

55:53 It’s time for SECRETS SHHHH.

1:03:58 Orange

1:04:48 Packaging Review

1:05:08 Taste Test for O

1:09:13 The Russian Ratings: Ivan the Terrible and Lenin.

1:10:06 Smirnophagus: Florals and fruits.

1:15:12 Water, water everywhere… 

1:17:08 Best and Worst Liquors Ranking

1:18:16 The Dump Cup: Trying all the seltzers mixed together.

1:20:48 Ultimate ranking 1-4 of Smirnoff Seltzers

1:25:03 Drinking the Dump Cup

1:26:14 A Dump Cup for all the mini bottles MWHAHA.

1:28:56 #Blainey

1:30:02 Farewell!

MUSIC

Epidemic Sound

You can get a free month with Epidemic Sound here: https://bit.ly/330Mtz9

Colors of an Artist

Double Whoosh

Whimsically Wonderful - Arthur Benson

Our Own Rhythm - River Run Dry

Shaving Grace - T. Morri

Amun Ra - Bureaucrap

Yesterday I Danced as Well - Little Island Leap

Fog of Moscow - Sight of Wonderss

Russian Folk Song - Traditional

Weapon of Choice - Fabien Tell

How to Tango - Arthur Benson

In St. Petersburg - Sight of Wonders

Out the Back (Sting) - Martin Carlberg

Esprit Pacifique - Martin Klem

Red Square Meeting - Trabant 33

Firesign - Jay Varton

When Morning Came - Clarke Russo

Our Gold Days - Heyday Highway

Desert Hideout - Christoffer Moe Ditlevsen

Oh Motherland by Sight of Wonders

For the Final Kingdom by Edgar Hopp

Why Even Bother by Isaac Larson

Around Every Corner by Arthur Benson

Champions Day by Lupus Nocte

Angry Cats by Medité

Speak to Me Prague by Trabant 33

Grand Buffoon by Benjamin Rice

Primavera by Trabant 33

Moscow Sidewalk by Mike Franklyn

Balkan Parade by Stationary Sign

Today, we’re drinking the berry mix pack from Trulys! Be sure to follow Sloshbucklers on Twitter and Instagram.

Interested in partnering with Sloshbucklers? Reach out at [email protected]

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Sigh, here we go.

00:46 Nutrition facts for Trulys and its mysteriously missing Wikipedia page.

2:35 Meet Laura! What’s our experience with hard seltzer?

4:20 The Tale of Elaine, The Bachelorette, and a Cursed Recliner

10:45--12:28 You can skip over this part if you don’t like sick talk (we don’t get too graphic but if it’s not your thing at all, hop ahead!).

13:10 Live Long and Prosper: The Aftermath

15:00 The Drinking Game: Seltzer Symbel 

15:55 Packaging Review

19:35 Taste Test: Raspberry Lime

20:23 Seltzer Symbel: Here we go.

21:30 Flavor review: Berry vs. Citrus

24:30 Seltzer Symbel to small birds. Screw big birds.

26:42 Ranking thus far (spoiler alert: raspberry lime is in first...and last).

27:21 We will create and drink the Truest Truly, a goblet filled with EVERY FLAVOR OF TRULYS that we’ll drink at the end of the episode.

29:00 Taste Test: Wild Berry

30:09 Seltzer Symbel to onesies.

31:08 Flavor review

32:50 The Wild Berry Daydream 

33:20 What drives you WILD? 

35:15 Ranking thus far between Raspberry Lime and Wild Berry.

35:40 Sobering Thought: Towns that drowned in things other than water (very uplifting).

39:35 Taste Test: Black Cherry

40:31 Artificial cherry flavor debate

43:10  Seltzer Symbel to our favorite memes.

44:00 Flavor review

46:00 Ranking thus far

47:15 Seltzer Symbel to the journey of FRIENDSHIP, college trash, and Build-A-Bear

49:52 Secrets

50:53 Elaine’s secret toilet.

54:09 A surprising essay emailed to Laura from a long-ago “friend.”

56:51 Bagel Bites Break. Secrets shall now resume.

57:21 Seltzer Symbel to Bagel Bites.

57:55 The strange essay secret continues.

1:10:21 Taste Test: Blueberry Acai

1:10:53 Packaging, wtf is acai, and real vs. artificial blueberry flavor.

1:13:00 Wafting

1:13:49 Seltzer Symbel to Brandon, for that is how he introduced himself.

1:14:16 Flavor review

1:16:30 Setlzer/Bagel Bite Symbel to Oprah.

1:17:47 Final Review: Chuggability, Flavor, and Overall Ranking

1:19:44 Setlzer Symbel to our favorite flavors.

1:20:06 The Truest Truly: Drinking every flavor at once. And the final Seltzer Symbels.

1:23:11 Flavor review

1:26:26 We’re barely alive.

1:27:17 Outro 

MUSIC

Epidemic Sound

Crusade - Video Classica by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100884

Artist: http://incompetech.com/

Thanks so much for listening to Sloshbucklers! You can follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram @Sloshbucklers. New episodes come out every other Thirsty Thursday so until then, drink your water! 

TIMESTAMPS

00:48 White Claw origin story and nutrition facts.

2:23 What’s our previous experience with hard seltzer?

3:56 Opening the Mystery Bag for the first flavor, Red Raspberry!

4:33 Packaging Review. Do you feel inferior to this can? Does it feel hardcore?

8:27 Welcome to our drinking game, White Claws and Dragons!

9:40 Meet your Bard, Dwyane “Brock” Johnson!

10:33 Meet your Cleric, Thad Pitt!

11:32 Taste Test for Red Raspberry (RR).

13:50 How does RR rank so far?

15:08 White Claws and Dragons: The First Scenario Cards

16:00 How our characters know each other.

17:05  Brock Johnson’s first adventure in Applebee’s: A RIDDLE.

19:00 Thad Pitt’s first adventure. Where’s the queso?

20:37 Second drink revealed from the Magic Box: Natural Lime!

21:30 Taste Test for Lime

23:10 Cocktail Time: Kameron decides to mix her White Claws.

23:11 Our ranking thus far between RR and Lime.

25:45 White Claws and Dragons: Scenario 2

25:52 Brock takes the mic at karaoke.

29:39 Thad Pitt runs into his ex at the bar. 

Scenario 3

34:02 A wizard visits Brock while he’s taking a whiz.

38:05 Thad falls into a thirst trap full of Cougars.

42:54 Vibe check after two hard seltzers and many drinks.

43:24 Sobering Thought: The most boring day in history. Drink some water!

46:48 Chip saga.

47:31 Drink 3: Red Ruby Grapefruit ft. the new Secret Magic Box song.

50:20 Taste Test for Grapefruit.

53:36 White Claws and Dragons: Scenario 4

53:48 Brock is tested at karaoke once more and man, he feels like a woman.

56:50 Thad casually encounters A DRAGON. Not all is at it seems.

1:04:35 Drink 4: Black Cherry

1:05:50 Package review.

1:06:42 Taste Test for Black Cherry.

1:10:40 White Claws and Dragons: Scenario 5

1:11:00 Brock runs into his third-grade teacher and things get awkward.

1:14:15 Thad Pitt moseys on down to the loo when he bumps into a waiter, Sherry Thatsit, who is carrying many drinks.

1:16:36 SECRETS.

1:21:08 Blind Taste Test 

1:23:50 White Claws and Dragons: The Final Claw

1:24:05 Kameron must drink an entire goblet of all the flavors. Thad Pitt makes the most of spilling all the drinks.

1:23:47 Elaine has to drink seltzer upside down. Brock enjoys a keger with the men’s choir.

1:28:25 Overall rating of all the flavors.

1:30:05 Outro!

Drink responsibly!

Welcome to Sloshbucklers, the uncanny podcast that reviews canned booze. I’m your host, Elaine Best, and in every episode, a guest and I will experience the wonders of canned alcohol. Don your salmon shorts and find a boat because season one is gonna be about HARD SELTZER. Each episode will also have its own drinking game, and since seltzer is quite bubbly, the house rules require all participants to drink every time someone burps. New episodes release every other Thirsty Thursday so be sure to follow this podcast to stay updated on the adventure!

Drink responsibly and journey on, Sloshbuckler.

Instagram and Twitter: @Sloshbucklers