AFTER THE TONE

Heavy on social embarrassment, tough on Harry Styles and soft on a wounded bird. Starring: cats, dogs, ferrets, a poem from New Zealand and a bespoke willy warmer

Another wedding fiasco, EVEN MORE bird death, a wardrobe malfunction with a moral message, anal fissures & a Sunday morning call from Venice

As if last week’s pigeonicide wasn’t bad enough, this time a seagull gets it - plus a slip of the tongue at a wedding and Scottee fanfic

Stolen knickers, noisy sex, possibly a dead pigeon, definitely a dead dad

Featuring cheap celeb gossip, beige buffet, Jive Bunny and Gemma's selling butt plugs

Empanadas, celeb gossip, Blue Peter badges, saucy language lessons, being fat and exercising and the patron saint of ice-skating

Pumpkin spice latte hate, peanut butter love, linguistic prowess and some Italian meat.

The joy of choosing your own name, talking Italian, inter-species sexytime, Lavender Menace and a problem with Keith

A Bulgarian piss up, a Japanese Onsen, crude place names, the hokey cokey & a crisp platter. No buggies on the dancefloor thankyou very much

Scottee's having a takeaway and working class joy, a reminder to return your library books, and a crocheted cock is on the menu. Marital flatulence guaranteed.