Knowledge For Men Archives

Gentlemen…

If you want to learn how to transform your life, optimize your performance, and become unstoppable…this interview will help you do it. I sit down with world-renowned biohacker and marketer extraordinaire Anthony DiClementi to discuss all things biohacking, success, and personal transformation.

And I promise, if you’ll take action on the lessons he shares, you can use the wisdom contained in this interview to change your life forever.

Who is Anthony DiClementi

Anthony DiClementi is an executive health and fitness coach, biohacker, and expert in functional medicine.

He is the most sought after fat loss expert for people who want to regularly enjoy more of their favorite cheat foods, wine, and cocktails without storing them as fat.

He is known for teaching people how to lose 7 pounds in 7 days* and utilize strategic cheating to accelerate fat loss while still enjoying a social lifestyle.

Anthony is a Certified Nutrition Specialist (CNS), NCSF Certified Personal Trainer, and “certified” Party Guy (Restaurant/Bar/Nightclub Marketer) from Chicago, IL.

Anthony’s Favorite Success Quote

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” ~Theodore Roosevelt

Key Points from my Interview with Anthony DiClementi

1. Think Less Do More

So many people who are involved in the world of personal development make the critical mistake of absorbing too much information without taking the requisite action that makes that information valuable.

If you are not where you want to be in your life despite the books, online courses, and seminars, then stop what you are doing right now and go take some freaking action.

Don’t read another book about fitness, go to the damn gym and lift some weights.

Don’t watch videos on pickup, go talk to the next pretty girl you see.

Quit watching Shark Tank and go take the first step to starting your own business.

The simple truth is that success is hard. It takes time, patience, failure, and iteration. You will never get it right on the first go and the more time you spend thinking and analyzing your goals and vision, the less time you’ll spend actually moving the needle forward and making progress.

So commit to taking action. Take the first step today and realize that you can learn what you need to learn along the way.

Go pick up a barbell and do some deadlifts. Once you’re in the gym consistently, then you can worry about rep scheme, time under tension, and supplementation.

Go talk to the next attractive woman you see. Once you start interacting with women in the real world, you’ll gain a better understanding of your strengths and weaknesses and can learn how to improve your interactions with women from there.

Go launch your website and start building your email list. Once you have taken action, you’ll figure out the lessons you really need to scale to the next level.

2. How You Feel Doesn’t Matter

If you only do what you feel like doing, you will never accomplish anything great in your life.

There will be times where you don’t want to work, put time into your relationships, or go to the gym.

But guess what?

It doesn’t matter, if you want to succeed, you have to control your emotions and not allow them to control you.

Remember that motion creates emotion.

Even if you don’t feel like working, as soon as you sit down to work, you will become motivated.

As soon as you set foot in the gym, you will find yourself more energized and alive.

Your feelings are fleeting. They are a fickle mistress that will abandon you when you need them most and attack you when you expect them the least. To accomplish great things, you must learn to take action despite your emotions. You must learn to overcome the way you feel and focus on what you value.

Your mission, your goals, and your life are more important than how you feel in the moment. And the more you can learn to act in alignment with your values instead of your feelings, the better and more successful your life will be.

3. You Need Someone Who Has Achieved What You Want

If you want to achieve the highest levels of success, you need a coach or mentor.

There’s no way around it.

No way great has ever succeeded without someone smarter and more talented then them guiding their path and advising them on the best course of action.

If you are overweight despite going to the gym and eating well, hire a coach who can show you where you are taking improper action so you can achieve your dream body.

If your life is going downhill quickly despite your best efforts, hire a coach who can help you to achieve your goals and who can point out your blindspots and weaknesses and help you overcome them.

When you have objective outside eyes on your life from people who have “been there, done that”, you won’t have to wonder if you’re doing the right things. You will know you are on the path to success and you’ll be able to take massive and strategic action toward achieving the life you’ve always wanted.

4. Success Starts with Your Mindset and Your Routines 

The key to success starts in your mind and is then translated into your routines.

If you can show me someone’s routines, I will show you their outcomes and their levels of success in every area of life.

To succeed, you must develop rock-solid routines to ensure that you can achieve at the highest level.

This means creating a morning routine, exercising regularly, spending time around people who are smarter then you are, and educating yourself on a daily basis.

There is no way around it, your routines and mindset determine the quality of your life.

Period.

5. If You Want to Transform Your Life Start with Your Health 

If you really want to transform your life, start with your health.

If you have more energy, a more balanced body, and higher cognitive function, everything else will start to fall into place.

You will be sharper at work, more motivated, more fluid in social situations, and, of course, a helluva lot sexier.

Your body is your home, take care of it and don’t take it for granted.

Erik Newton is a former family law attorney, and founder of Together Magazine and The Together Show Podcast. Erik describes himself as someone who’s “been through a thousand divorces and still believes in love.”

Ushering couples through divorce was never pleasant, but it turned out to be the ideal medium through which to understand the entire lifecycle of a relationship. As a result, Erik has a unique, real-world comprehension of what makes one marriage thrive and another fall apart.

During his time as an attorney, Erik teamed up with a psychologist friend to lead premarital courses for couples, hoping to give them the skills they’d need to stay out of his office.

Ultimately, his calling to help couples build healthy relationships superseded his legal career, and he decided to dedicate himself full-time to creating a place couples could go for information, inspiration, and a big dose of truth. That’s whenTogether.Guide was born.

Favorite Success Quote

“If you don’t ask, it’s an automatic no”

Key Points

1. There is Only the Present Moment 

It is so easy to get caught up in our past mistakes and future worries.

Most of us are living our lives in a reality that does not really exist, we spend all of our time thinking about mistakes that we made in the past and our plans and fears for the future.

If you want to truly be happy, if you want to truly have fulfilling relationships and you want to see your life transform before your eyes, then see every moment as the beginning.

Right now, this very second, you have a choice.

It’s not about what you did or what you are going to do in the future, it is about who you are deciding to be in this present moment.

Always remember that this is the most important decision that you can make.

2. Compassion is Essential in Every Stage of Your Relationships

One of the biggest mistakes that most couples make whenever they are going through a challenging time or approaching the end of a relationship is that they lose the compassion they once had for their partner.

You need to always approach your partner with a level of empathy and understanding, no matter how badly they have hurt you or what they have done to you.

Because if you do not, you will only be poisoning your own life and cutting off any possibility of a relationship with that person, platonic or otherwise.

3. When Something is Not Working, Get Excited 

It is so easy to get depressed and down on yourself when something is not working in your relationship.

Whether you are afraid things are going to end or you are simply losing the passion that you once had, whenever you start to face a struggle in your relationship, it is time to get excited.

Why?

Because if something is not working, then you have the chance to either end the relationship and move onto something better or dive even deeper in your relationship with your partner as you overcome this new obstacle.

Just like challenges in life are a chance for you to grow as a man, challenges in relationships are a chance for you to grow with your partner.

4. View Every Major Break Up as a Chance to Learn 

Anytime you suffer from a major breakup, whether with a girlfriend or a divorce with a wife, you need to realize that this is nothing more than a chance for you to learn.

See it as a privilege that you had the breakup.

Because now you are a stronger, more grounded, and more knowledgeable man who knows what he wants moving forward.

Never suffer through any major life event without taking time to figure out what you can learn and how you can change things moving forward.

5. If You Want to Save Your Relationships Remember Money, Sex, & Kids 

The three things that cause more relational strife than anything else are money, sex, and children.

And it’s not necessarily the actual problems with money, sex, and children, it is the expectations that each partner has about these topics that are unspoken.

If you do not want children and your woman does, this needs to be addressed before you get married.

If your girlfriend is buried in debt from college then this is something you need to talk about before you move on to the next level.

Whatever your sexual expectations and fantasies are, they need to be addressed and discussed with your significant other.

Before you move to a new level in your relationships, make sure that these three areas are discussed and agreed upon, otherwise, you will face more stress than you ever thought possible.

Part of the new generation of spiritual visionaries and thought leaders, Derek Rydall is the author of the #1 Amazon/Barnes & Noble best-seller EMERGENCE: Seven Steps for Radical Life Change and the world’s #1 expert on the revolutionary Law of Emergence.

He has trained top executives at Fortune 500 companies (from American Express to Disney) in empowered leadership and communications, and has coached celebrities and media professionals, including Oscar and Emmy winners, on creating conscious entertainment.

Favorite Success Quote

“What is before us and what is behind us are small matters compared to what is inside us”

“We must remove our bloated sense of nothingness out of the way of the divine circuits” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Key Points

1. Let Go of Your Ego 

Just like Ryan Holiday said, ego truly is the enemy.

You need to realize that you are not your ego. Your ego is simply a childish part of you that feels the need to be validated through sex, money, and other empty accolades.

If you want to live a life of true fulfillment, then you must first let go of your ego and your need for validation.

Be willing to accept yourself as you are and pursue a life that is based on what you truly want and not your egotistical need for validation.

2. You Have Everything You Need to Succeed Within You

So many people think that everything they need to succeed is outside of them.

This simply isn’t true.

If you want to succeed in your life and do the things that you dream of, everything you need is inside of you. You simply have to peel back all of the bullsh!t until you unlock the power within you that was always lying hidden away.

You have everything you need to succeed.

You have the drive, the discipline, the compassion, the skills, everything. You just have to get rid of all the societal conditioning and external expectations to achieve it.

3. You Cannot Improve Upon the Self Just Your Skills 

You can’t improve upon the self.

You can only develop new skills and improve aspects of your personality and skillset, but you cannot improve upon the self.

While this might sound like an overly spiritual statement, once you understand its validity, your life will never be the same.

You can stop wasting time trying to make yourself better and improve who you are, and instead, you can focus your efforts on improving the aspects of your character and skill sets that are lacking.

4.Know Thyself

Life is not about accumulating possessions but about how much you possess yourself.

If you want to succeed and live a fulfilled life, then you have to know yourself.

Know who you are, know what you want, know your truth.

Not what society says you are are, not what your parents say, and not what any religion says. Know who you say you are and who you want to be.

5. Where There is No Vision You Will Perish 

If you do not have a vision, your life will amount to nothing at the end of the day.

You have to have a vision for your life, an ultimate goal of who you want to become and who you want to help.

Who do you want to be, who do you want to help, and what you want to achieve.

Once you have a vision you can build your life around this.

Professionally, Alicia M. Smith is an Award-Winning Author who most recently released the book Common Stones, and Special Project Consultant at Public Consulting Group, in Nashville, TN. She has obtained a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology from Wayne State University, as well as a Master of Arts degree in Industrial/Organizational Psychology from Xavier University.

Favorite Success Quote

“Every no gets me closer to my yes” ~Robert D. Smith

Key Points

1. Success is in Our Decisions Not Our Conclusions

Many people think that success is about the attainment of something, but the truth is, success is about who you become along the way and the decisions that you make.

Who would you consider a success?

The man who achieved his goal of making a million dollars in a year but did it in an unethical way or the man who was presented with the opportunity to make a million unethically but stuck to his guns and did what he knew was right?

I think we both know the answer.

Success is truly about living a life with honor and integrity, not any material outcome.

2. Be Relentless

There is an old quote from Winston Churchill that summarizes this concept succinctly but brilliantly.

If you are going through hell, keep going

It doesn’t matter how difficult life is or what challenges the world may through at you, you must be relentless and never give up.

Always strive to be better, always be willing to face your challenges with a smile on your face, and even if you feel like you are going through hell, just keep going.

3. Your Challenges Make You Who You Need to Become

The things in life that you often despise the most are the things that are turning you into the man you need to become to achieve your destiny.

The lessons you learned from that nasty divorce that you had is what will equip you to be the man you need to be for the woman of your dreams and your future family.

That business failure you had with your first startup is what will equip you with the knowledge and skillset you need to succeed at your next venture.

The challenges and failures you are facing in life are truly a gift and a blessing, not a curse.

Choose to see them that way.

4. Give Up Your Need for Perfection

Perfection is a myth.

If you are constantly striving to be perfect, you will forfeit your ability to be great.

You will become stressed and overwhelmed and cripple your ability to perform.

Instead of trying to be perfect, simply try and wake up each day being a little bit better than you were the day before.

If you do this consistently instead of striving for perfection, you will be amazed at who you are and what you have achieved 5 years from now.

5. Ground Yourself at the Beginning of Each Day 

One of the most powerful ways to begin your day is to get yourself grounded.

If you are religious this could mean that you pray, meditate on your spiritual text, and spend some time thanking God for all you have in your life.

If you are not, then simply meditating, spending time in nature, slowing down, and being grateful is all you need to do.

When you start your day off in this way, you will be amazed at what you can achieve.

Jennifer Noel Taylor is the “Chief Magical Officer” of Quantum-Touch, Inc. – A community dedicated to Spiritual growth. Quantum-Touch helps people facilitate their physical, emotional and spiritual healing through energy medicine.

In her debut book, Love Incorporated: The Business of Doing What You Love, she shares her journey as a young professional, feeling extremely depressed at her 9-5 job, to finding her true calling and living the life of her dreams!

Favorite Success Quote

“You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance doing what you love.” ~Jim Carey

Key Points

1. Taking Time Away is Not the End

Often times in life, we need to separate ourselves from our current situations.

Whether it is a job, a relationship, or even just a physical location that it tying you down, everyone will have a point in their life where they need to “escape” to uncover more about themselves to truly become their best selves.

But we are scared.

We are afraid that it will result in catastrophic failure if things don’t pan out.

But the truth is, even if we don’t achieve the goals we had set, the lessons you learn while away will equip you to achieve more when you come back to your old life.

If you take a sabbatical from work to travel, you will return more grounded, more focused, and more passionate, and employers know this.

If you take some time away from a relationship to focus on your own personal growth, you will come back as a more present, conscious, and compassionate lover, and most women know this.

Don’t be afraid to take time away from the good so that you can return to the great.

2. Be Authentic

Life is short, so why would you waste it being anyone other than who you are.

Almost all of us live our lives behind a mask. We perform on the stage of life to impress people and show them that we are like everyone else.

But the hard truth is, the world doesn’t need more cookie cutter people.

It needs more people who are fearlessly embracing their authentic selves, people who are pursuing a life of excellence and uniqueness.

Forget about being like everyone else.

The world has plenty of copycats. Be yourself, be authentic, and allow the universe to use that for greatness.

3. The Universe Will not Hand You Anything

So many of us believe in the “Secret” that if we just write down our goals and put them out to the universe that we will achieve every dream that we have, but the truth is much more different.

The universe will conspire with you to help you achieve your goals, but you must put in the work.

You have to grind and hustle and sweat and bleed.

There is no other way to achieve success.

Put your goals out to the universe and then work your butt off to achieve them.

Then and only then will the universe open up to help you.

4. Trust Yourself 

One of the hardest things in life is to trust yourself, to believe in yourself, and to stick to your values even when the rest of the world steers you in another direction.

But if you want to succeed and live the most fulfilling life possible, then you must learn to trust yourself.

Trust your gut, trust your intuition, trust yourself.

If you feel called to do something, then do it, no matter what other people say.

And remember, you can fail doing something that you don’t like so go ahead and take a chance on something you love.

5. Challenges are An Opportunity for Growth 

So many people view challenges as a bad thing.

They think that challenging situations are a curse.

But the thing is, challenges are an opportunity.

They are an opportunity for you to grow into your strongest self, to prove what you are made of, and to overcome obstacles that others deem as impossible.

Never view challenges as a negative thing.

They are what makes this life worth living and what separates the boys from the men.

Jennifer Noel Taylor is the “Chief Magical Officer” of Quantum-Touch, Inc. – A community dedicated to Spiritual growth. Quantum-Touch helps people facilitate their physical, emotional and spiritual healing through energy medicine.

In her debut book, Love Incorporated: The Business of Doing What You Love, she shares her journey as a young professional, feeling extremely depressed at her 9-5 job, to finding her true calling and living the life of her dreams!

Favorite Success Quote

“You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance doing what you love.” ~Jim Carey

Key Points

1. Taking Time Away is Not the End

Often times in life, we need to separate ourselves from our current situations.

Whether it is a job, a relationship, or even just a physical location that it tying you down, everyone will have a point in their life where they need to “escape” to uncover more about themselves to truly become their best selves.

But we are scared.

We are afraid that it will result in catastrophic failure if things don’t pan out.

But the truth is, even if we don’t achieve the goals we had set, the lessons you learn while away will equip you to achieve more when you come back to your old life.

If you take a sabbatical from work to travel, you will return more grounded, more focused, and more passionate, and employers know this.

If you take some time away from a relationship to focus on your own personal growth, you will come back as a more present, conscious, and compassionate lover, and most women know this.

Don’t be afraid to take time away from the good so that you can return to the great.

2. Be Authentic

Life is short, so why would you waste it being anyone other than who you are.

Almost all of us live our lives behind a mask. We perform on the stage of life to impress people and show them that we are like everyone else.

But the hard truth is, the world doesn’t need more cookie cutter people.

It needs more people who are fearlessly embracing their authentic selves, people who are pursuing a life of excellence and uniqueness.

Forget about being like everyone else.

The world has plenty of copycats. Be yourself, be authentic, and allow the universe to use that for greatness.

3. The Universe Will not Hand You Anything

So many of us believe in the “Secret” that if we just write down our goals and put them out to the universe that we will achieve every dream that we have, but the truth is much more different.

The universe will conspire with you to help you achieve your goals, but you must put in the work.

You have to grind and hustle and sweat and bleed.

There is no other way to achieve success.

Put your goals out to the universe and then work your butt off to achieve them.

Then and only then will the universe open up to help you.

4. Trust Yourself 

One of the hardest things in life is to trust yourself, to believe in yourself, and to stick to your values even when the rest of the world steers you in another direction.

But if you want to succeed and live the most fulfilling life possible, then you must learn to trust yourself.

Trust your gut, trust your intuition, trust yourself.

If you feel called to do something, then do it, no matter what other people say.

And remember, you can fail doing something that you don’t like so go ahead and take a chance on something you love.

5. Challenges are An Opportunity for Growth 

So many people view challenges as a bad thing.

They think that challenging situations are a curse.

But the thing is, challenges are an opportunity.

They are an opportunity for you to grow into your strongest self, to prove what you are made of, and to overcome obstacles that others deem as impossible.

Never view challenges as a negative thing.

They are what makes this life worth living and what separates the boys from the men.

Cash Matthews has been in the financial business and worked with countless families and individuals since the 1980’s.

During his adult life, he has worked entirely with just one ambition: to help people succeed with their finances and have a happy life! He believes the pressure of a poorly constructed financial life can also have a negative impact on your health and your family.

He is the author of several books including Money University and the Solomon Way.

Favorite Success Quote

“Don’t do stupid stuff and you will be fine” ~Cash’s Grandmother

Key Points

1. Forget the Joneses. They Are Broke 

In today’s material-focused society, you see so many people focused on keeping up with the Joneses.

The problem is, the Joneses are completely broke and are living their lives based upon the desire to look good for everyone else, often at the expense of their health, financial well-being, and ultimate success.

If you want to succeed at anything in your life, then forget about the Joneses.

You don’t need the fancy car, expensive watch, or flashy toys, spend your money on experiences, on your family, and on living a lifestyle that makes you happy.

Don’t spend it on getting into a meaningless competition with shallow and materialistic people.

2. You Have to Figure Out What You Want 

One of the reasons that so many people struggle to save and make money is that they don’t really know what they want.

They have no vision for themselves and their lives, they have no why behind going to work and saving money.

And “Where there is no vision, the people perish.”

So if you are struggling to make or keep the amount of money that you want, then start with why.

Figure out what you want out of life and figure out how much money you will need to make it happen, then start taking the steps necessary to get there.

3. Get a Little Bit of Perspective 

Whenever you think you have it bad, whenever you are stressed, whenever you are struggling, just remember that you are beyond fortunate.

If you have the ability to read this article or listen to this podcast right now, then you are in the top 10% in the world. Even if you are poor in the U.S., you are not truly poor compared to the rest of the world.

Once you can get this perspective on your life, then you can completely change your outlook on financial stress and the problems that you are facing.

4. Pay Yourself First & Take Care of Your Taxes

If you want a quick, down and dirty tip for achieving more financial freedom, here it is.

Pay yourself 10% out of every paycheck that you make and ensure that the government is not taking more than their fair share out of your paycheck.

According to the IRS nearly 80% of all people are voluntarily overpaying on their taxes.

This means that you could be saving thousands of dollars a year by simply hiring an accountant and sitting down for an afternoon.

If you can reclaim the money that is rightfully yours and start paying yourself first, your financial future will never be the same.

5. Action Cures Everything 

Plain and simple, no matter what you are facing in life right now, action is the cure all.

Broke? Start mowing lawns, delivering pizzas, and working overtime.

Socially shy and miserable? Get out and meet new people, talk to strangers, and approach beautiful women at social events.

Fat? Get off the couch and get into the gym.

I don’t care what you are struggling with, action will cure it.

Plain and simple.

David Carlson is the founder of the personal finance blog Young Adult Money.

Young Adult Money is focused on helping those in their 20s and 30s make more, save more, and live better. Forbes magazine has called Young Adult Money one of the best websites for people looking to get their finances in check.

David works in corporate finance at a major US corporation and is the author of Hustle Away Debt. 

Favorite Success Quote

“Work like someone else is working 24 hours a day to take everything from you” ~Gary Vaynerchuk

Key Points

1. Build your Side Hustle Around Your Life 

Most people I know want to build side hustles.

They want to have more financial freedom, more time to spend with their family, and more security around their ability to provide for themselves and their families.

But they think it will be too much work.

The truth is, you can start building a side hustle with only a couple of hours a day. Just give up your nightly episode of Narcos and work on a writing or FBA business.

You will be amazed where it will take you in only a few months.

2. Developing a Side Hustle will Improve Every Area of Your Life 

Something that many people do not realize is just how significantly a side hustle can change your life.

Whenever you learn to generate income on your own terms, you will have less financial stress, you will have more confidence in yourself, and more time to devote to the things you love.

You don’t have to worry about quitting your 9-5 either. Your side hustle is just the beginning and is meant as a way to supplement your income, get you out of debt, and generate extra cash to put aside in savings.

3. Figure Out What Skills You Already Have that You Can Charge For 

The first step to succeeding at your side hustle is to figure out what skills you have that you can charge for.

And before you say that you don’t have any, let me cut that belief down right now.

If you can write, take pictures, manage spreadsheets, teach an instrument, are good with girls, or know how to plan a trip abroad, then you have the skills necessary to start a side hustle.

But it’s up to you to determine what skills you have, develop the skills that you want to have, and then seek out clients who will pay you for them.

4. If You Want it You Will Get It 

Everyone says that they want financial freedom, but few people are actually willing to take the steps necessary to get it.

They would rather go out with friends, play video games, watch TV, or sit in front of their computer watching porn.

If you want financial freedom, if you want to quit your 9-5, if you want to develop a side hustle that gives you the ability to pursue a life on your terms, then you will go out and get it.

End of story.

5. Don’t be Afraid to Fail

If you execute your side hustle properly, there is no need to be afraid of failure.

Keep your 9-5, don’t take huge risks, and devote only a few hours to your side hustle a week.

If you fail, there will be no real damage except for a few lost hours.

You will still have your job, still have your family, and you will have learned some valuable lessons.

There is nothing to be afraid of, so go out there and get after it.

Dr. Michelle DiBiase, a graduate of Georgia State University and Life College of Chiropractic, has been in private practice with her husband since 1999.

Through the years, they have helped thousands of sufferers feel better again and adopt healthy lifestyle habits for whole-body healing. When confronted with chronic pain patients, Dr. DiBiase discovered that clinical findings did not always match the patient’s symptoms and that hidden, deep-rooted emotions were often involved.

From that discovery, she developed the POP Method, a simple, step-by-step approach that anyone could use to address those hidden, anchored feelings and relieve their pain.

Dr. DiBiase has dedicated herself to helping others find their power and to reach their highest potential. She lives in Waycross, Georgia, with her loving husband, John, and her two beautiful daughters, Ruby and Isabelle.

Favorite Success Quote

“If you change the way you look at things, the thing you look at change” ~Dr. Wayne Dyer

Key Points

1. Your Emotional Struggles Can Cause Physical Pain

When most people are struggling with pain, they fail to realize that often times, their pain is caused by a mental or emotional problem and not a physical problem.

This could stem from childhood trauma, a tragic event, or simply personal insecurity.

Whatever the case, you need to accept that your pain may not be a physical ailment and be willing to do the internal work necessary to fix it.

2. Identify What Your Key Emotions Are Causing Your Pain

If you have come to the conclusion that your pain is being caused by your emotional state, the first step that you need to take is to identify which emotions are leading to the pain.

Examine your life, both past, and present, for any potential traumas that might be leading to physical issues.

This does not have to be something big either.

It could simply be a belief that your genetics leave you predisposed for a certain ailment, something you were told when you were younger, or an insecurity that you developed about yourself.

Be willing to take a long look at yourself and uncover exactly where the pain is coming from because until you do, you will not be able to fix it.

3. Reframe Your Pain and Become Grateful

Once you have uncovered the emotional anchors that are holding you down, you need to reframe them and find a way to be grateful for them.

The simple truth is, it is hard to be in pain when you are in a state of gratitude and love.

Whatever past pain or hurt you are suffering from, there is something within it to be grateful for.

Even the most traumatic and terrible events that you have faced have a silver lining.

Whether they have simply molded you into a stronger person or allowed you to speak love into someone’s life who faced a similar struggle, you can always find a reason to be grateful.

4.Decide Whether Your Emotions Are Serving You

Before the final step in the healing process can take place, you must examine your emotions and decide whether or not they are serving you on the path to becoming your strongest self.

Is the anger, grief, bitterness, or self-loathing adding anything to your life?

Is it making you a better, stronger, or more grounded man?

Examine your emotions without bias and be brutally honest with yourself.

You can never truly move on until you are willing to remove the mask and be vulnerable with yourself and others.

5. Release the Pain

Once you have built a sense of gratitude for your struggles and developed a clear list of reasons why your current emotional state is no longer empowering you, it is time to release the pain.

Let it go.

Accept it for what it was.

Be grateful for how it helped you become the man you are, but accept that you no longer need it in your life and let it go.

Mark Manson is a blogger, author, and entrepreneur. He specializes in writing personal development advice that doesn’t suck. His website MarkManson.net is read by over 2 million people each month.

He has written two best-sellers Models: The Art of Attracting Women Through Honesty and The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counter-Intuitive Approach to Living a Good Life. markmanson.netYou can connect with him and learn more at

Key Points

1. There is No Such Thing as a Problem Free Life

Life is not easy, anyone who tells you otherwise is full of crap.

Life can suck sometimes and that is just the reality.

However, you should not see this as a bad thing, in fact, you should appreciate it.

If life is going to be painful no matter what, this means that you have a choice to choose what kind of pain you want to endure.

You can endure the pain of failure or you can endure the pain of struggling to achieve success.

2. Pain Isn’t Always Bad Pleasure Isn’t Always Good 

Something that most people misunderstand is that pain is not always a bad thing and pleasure is not always a good thing.

You can achieve pleasure by purchasing mounds of cocaine and heroin, but that would not be expedient for achieving your goals and living the life that you want.

You can also be in pain by pursuing your goals and trying to achieve greatness but this is not necessarily a bad thing.

Accept the fact that life is not about being in a constant state of euphoria, it is about overcoming challenges and living a life of meaning.

3. Your Behaviors Dictate Your Values

Whenever you ask people what they value they will tell you all sorts of things and about how they value family, fitness, or personal growth.

However, their actions say otherwise.

They say that they value family but they spend all of their time working.

They say they value health but workout only once a month and treat their body like sh!t.

Maybe they even say that they don’t value their sex life and yet they are out every week trying to get with a new girl.

If you want to know what you truly value, take a look at your actions.

Be willing to examine yourself and your life without any bias or judgment and make changes accordingly.

If you don’t you will spend your whole life spinning your wheel and accomplishing very little.

4. A Constant Pursuit of Happiness Leads to Dissatisfaction

Most self-help movements in the modern world seem hell bent on helping people achieve this constant state of euphoria.

But the sad fact is, by pursuing happiness, you actually make yourself less happy.

In every moment, you are always wondering “Am I as happy as I could be right now? What more could I be doing?” and you end up feeling depressed and frustrated because you are not happier.

The same is true with your physique, bank account, and game.

If you are constantly trying to be the absolute best, you will never be able to appreciate where you are.

Learn to just accept that you may not be the richest, best looking, or most charismatic man in the room and work with that.

Accept yourself for who you are and work to improve in the areas that are truly lacking.

Otherwise, you will be like a dog chasing its tail and end up living a miserable life.

5. You are Going to Die 

This is one of the most important things to remember in your life.

No matter what you achieve, not matter how much money you make, who you marry, or how many people’s lives you affect, at the end of the day you are going to die.

There is no way around it.

Death is the only constant in every human being’s life.

But this should not depress or scare you.

It should liberate you.

The inevitability of death means that you can free yourself from the expectations of others, the drama of daily life, and the fear that accompanies big decisions.

If you are going to die, then all that matter is the legacy that you leave behind you.

Remember this and live life to the fullest.

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