ChaseLife with Kelly

In this episode, we chat with activist, author, poet, educator, and motivational speaker, Najwa Zebian. We talk about the trauma responses of our body and how to heal from them, accepting our past selves, and why holding our emotions is not always the best thing to do. She also talks about how the people we’re surrounded with affect our emotions, changing beliefs about ourselves, letting go of control, and deviating from the “Good girl” personality.

[5:37] Owning Your Journey

“If I didn’t go through that, if I didn’t write those writings in the way that I did, I wouldn’t be who I am today.”

[11:45] Maturity

“You’re always gonna have that story, or those multiple stories you’ve gone through, and you’re gonna have a different perspective, a different take.”

[18:06] Tuning Into Your body

“Your traumatic wounds and your survival, in a way, are intertwined… Many people don’t even know that they have these trapped trauma responses in their body that need to be tuned into.”

[29:19] Fight or Flight

“You think now that that experience has passed, that if you were to go back now, you would do things differently, but the you now is a very different person from who you were back then so don’t judge yourself.”

[34:43] Emotionally-driven

“Sometimes we think it’s very aggressive, but maybe it just really hurt you that much.… If I can’t express to someone that they hurt me in a certain way, that person doesn’t belong in my life.”

[39:39] Power Over Who Hurt You

“You have to re-evaluate having people in your life who you always have to be protecting yourself around… ‘cause really, the people who are gonna be there on the long run are the people who are gonna see you in your weak moments. The right people are not gonna put you in the position where you’d feel like ‘I’ve lost my power’.”

[49:13] Beliefs

“We try to change one ending of our lives…to change that big ending that we believe we will always get to…You have to look at the big beliefs you have about yourself and work on changing them from the root.”

[56:11] Letting Go of Control

“I’ll be okay if I don’t actually achieve something that I’m celebrated for because I can just be… you don’t have to constantly work so hard to keep control of the outcome.”

[1:02:36] Cultural Standards

“I grew up in a very conservative village… All the things I really learned from a very young age is you need to be a good girl.”

[1:07:55] Honoring Healthy Boundaries

“Boundaries are seeing the worth that needs to be protected, as opposed to seeing the threat that’s coming to take something away from you.”

[1:17:32] Ways of Healing

“Your body knows what it needs. All you need to do is to listen to it and start trusting it.”

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In this episode, we chat with activist, author, poet, educator, and motivational speaker, Najwa Zebian. We talk about the trauma responses of our body and how to heal from them, accepting our past selves, and why holding our emotions is not always the best thing to do. She also talks about how the people we’re surrounded with affect our emotions, changing beliefs about ourselves, letting go of control, and deviating from the “Good girl” personality.

[5:37] Owning Your Journey

“If I didn’t go through that, if I didn’t write those writings in the way that I did, I wouldn’t be who I am today.”

[11:45] Maturity

“You’re always gonna have that story, or those multiple stories you’ve gone through, and you’re gonna have a different perspective, a different take.”

[18:06] Tuning Into Your body

“Your traumatic wounds and your survival, in a way, are intertwined… Many people don’t even know that they have these trapped trauma responses in their body that need to be tuned into.”

[29:19] Fight or Flight

“You think now that that experience has passed, that if you were to go back now, you would do things differently, but the you now is a very different person from who you were back then so don’t judge yourself.”

[34:43] Emotionally-driven

“Sometimes we think it’s very aggressive, but maybe it just really hurt you that much.… If I can’t express to someone that they hurt me in a certain way, that person doesn’t belong in my life.”

[39:39] Power Over Who Hurt You

“You have to re-evaluate having people in your life who you always have to be protecting yourself around… ‘cause really, the people who are gonna be there on the long run are the people who are gonna see you in your weak moments. The right people are not gonna put you in the position where you’d feel like ‘I’ve lost my power’.”

[49:13] Beliefs

“We try to change one ending of our lives…to change that big ending that we believe we will always get to…You have to look at the big beliefs you have about yourself and work on changing them from the root.”

[56:11] Letting Go of Control

“I’ll be okay if I don’t actually achieve something that I’m celebrated for because I can just be… you don’t have to constantly work so hard to keep control of the outcome.”

[1:02:36] Cultural Standards

“I grew up in a very conservative village… All the things I really learned from a very young age is you need to be a good girl.”

[1:07:55] Honoring Healthy Boundaries

“Boundaries are seeing the worth that needs to be protected, as opposed to seeing the threat that’s coming to take something away from you.”

[1:17:32] Ways of Healing

“Your body knows what it needs. All you need to do is to listen to it and start trusting it.”

Follow Najwa on instagram @najwazebian

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In this episode, we chat with Alicia Robertson — founder and CEO of Lemonadelife, author of the Amazon best-selling book Make Lemonade: Thrive Through Divorce by Transforming Your Life, and a motivational speaker. We talk about the dilemmas when going through a divorce, prioritizing ourselves, and why we stay through a relationship despite receiving the bare minimum. She also gives us tips on how to gain confidence after divorce, how to cope with loneliness, and how to determine healthy relationships.

[2:43] The Calling

“I never knew what it was, and I never have imagined it was my own experience through divorce.”

[7:35] Growth Mindset

“I felt like I was losing everything, because my whole identity wasn’t what it meant to be in a partnership.”

[8:56] Losing Yourself

“When you live according to other people’s values, you lose yourself… But figuring what yourself is when you’re there is so hard.”

[13:29] Learning

“It’s really being clear about your expectations, and how you’re going to receive as much as you give, without taking the fun and spontaneity out of it.”

[17:27] Communicating Your Needs

“The easiest way for me to do that is to really have bite size pieces to stay focused on the facts. Is this meeting what is a top 3 needs for me?”

[23:10] Bare Minimum

“Because even if it’s a little hit of pleasure and connection, to my way of thinking then, was better than nothing, and then you start to settle, right?”

[27:24] Isolation

“Women are connectors… so when we go through a breakup, it could really be isolating for us.”

[31:59] Coping with Loneliness

“For me, it was really exploring deeply why that was something that was feeling stuck and fearful to me, and then shifting into what really was an opportunity to create for myself.”

[37:23] Self-Care

“We have to be kind to ourselves, you have no idea who’s sitting beside you. It doesn’t mean that you are less them.”

[41:06] Confidence after Divorce

“When we choose to do these really simple things, the momentum is massive… When we prioritize ourselves, the confidence elevates.”

[48:11] Back To The Dating World

“It’s different for everybody…What is so important is that you know yourself, what you want and have the courage to stand for it, regardless if that person decides that you’re not for them.”

[57:33] Healthy Relationships

“I am still discovering what healthy relationships, healthy love looks like, but honestly it can be boring af, so I don’t know, maybe there’s just no perfect answer.”

[60:08] Starting New

“It’s healthy to grow apart and together…There’s so many interesting and incredible ways to do relationships these days; it’s vulnerable.”

[1:05:06] Pressure

“There’s so much of a stigma… the second I have an opportunity to date, I included my children.”

[1:11:44] Surviving the Divorce

“It doesn’t stay here. It doesn’t stay stuck. There’s absolutely is future that is bright and wonderful.”

Follow Alicia on instagram @lemonadelifecoach

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In this episode, we speak with former Bachelorette Michelle Young — an educator, television personality, speaker, and activist. She tells us about her love for basketball and passion for creating impact, feeling burnout, handling publicity and social media, and being vulnerable. We also talk about how dating life was for her before, during, and after The Bachelorette.

[2:32] Little Background

“I always knew I wanted to make a massive impact. The biggest impact I could as possible; and that’s kind of what led me to where I am now.”

[4:50] Creating Impact

“Now, so many people strive to be an influencer, strive to have that social media presence; that never was the case for me… Social media impact was never my plan.”

[7:02] Burnout

“Nobody talks about the feeling of when you are so passionate but you just can’t mentally do it anymore, or you have to take a step aside.”

[11:45] Keeping Yourself Grounded

“I really could tune that out and put it down. Nobody forces you to be normal like kids do, because chaos continues.”

[14:41] Different Generation

“It has been kind of heartbreaking with watching 5th-graders, and what they know already at this age… They don’t get to be a kid, or what they feel like being a kid is.”

[17:07] Being an Educator

“Even when you step away, that doesn’t mean you just stop caring about it… You definitely go through very uncomfortable moments where you have to learn how to find passion on the other side… I miss it a ton.”

[20:57] Speaking your Story

“My mistakes, my trials, my tribulations, my weak moments, or the things that I thought were weak in my life, really actually do the work and send the biggest message to these other people.”

[25:03] Love and Hate Social Media

“I do see the benefits of social media, in a sense of me being able to reach somebody across the world… The other little pieces like, the drama, the tabloids, and all of that, I could do without.”

[30:13] Being in the Public Eye

“It’s not like this daunting thing, but it’s just something that’s always in the back of your head, and so it does create a little more anxiety with it.”

[33:37] Healthy Boundaries

“You have to be able to say no, because otherwise, you can’t stay true to who you are.”

[44:27] Dating Before The Show

“I think I really just struggled with being vulnerable…I was a very opinionated person and I could debate all day, but when it came to lovey-dovey emotions, my needs, my wants, or what I was struggling with, I’d never talk about it.”

[48:56] Dating on the Show

“When you’re on the show, you really are challenged to talk about the deep sh** right away because time is of the essence.”

[54:50] Lessons for Dating

“I think the biggest piece for me is understanding what I deserve, and not being scared to walk away in a situation where I’m disrespected.”

[56:55] Dreams and Goals

“Someone has to know what their dreams and goals are, and what they’re putting their energy towards.”

Follow Michelle on instagram @michelleyoung

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In this episode, we speak with content creator, model, and writer, Kendra Austin. She talks about “The Realest Oracle”, spirituality, love, battling our identity, the effect of body image on her as a child, and her weight loss journey. We also chat about letting go of toxic people, learning from experiences, being rejected, and her somatic healing experience.

[2:59] The Realest Oracle

“I feel like I created the deck for those people, who are a little bit skeptical or don’t really want to find a new language in order to access spirituality, because they shouldn’t have to.”

[6:20] The Cards

“I also felt that disability, queerness, like all body inclusion, of course people of all different races, be included in the deck because that was all I haven’t seen before.”

[9:16] Defining Love

“Love is a dedicated act, an intention, a practice, and also of course, the challenge.”

[10:56] Echoing Childhood

“People just inherently don’t accept me for these things, and that’s really challenging. It made me feel really small, and wasn’t capable of occupying what I felt at that time, was my purpose.”

[18:11] Diet Culture

“Those were all things that as a little girl, you just imagine…The world is unforgiving for a person that doesn’t look the way that you expect them to, that you feel like would make them deserve of belonging.”

[23:06] The Catalyst to Change

“All these questions are tied to everything you’ve experienced in childhood and you don’t even realize it.”

[29:06] Weight Loss Journey

“It’s so hilarious because I thought I needed to lose weight in order to have the life that I wanted, but in the actual experience of the weight loss, I have to rob myself of the experiences in order to lose the weight.”

[35:40] Transformation

“It is better to truly let them go… I’m so grateful to be in the time of my life where I am finally able to not only see, but reap the reward.”

[43:50] New Experience

“One day you’ll be able to share the story, and say like ‘You know, I was dumb in this way then, I’ll be dumb in a different way soon, but this is the lesson I took from this, and I did it because I was brave’.”

[47:44] Room to Connect

“Because I have that boundary, instead of doing that thing, I was able to see why I was doing that thing, what I was running away from.”

[53:57] Somatic Therapy

“I’ve incorporated those mindful practices into my life, which of course have been so transformative… It is actually wild how long I have been denying this relationship with my body, but also just always defaulting to the intellect.”

[1:04:27] Touched Out

“Have you ever thought the solution is nothing? The power of pause could be very powerful.”

[1:09:14] Space of Resonance

“I’m not seeking hyper-visibility, I’m seeking impact.”

Follow Kendra on instagram @kendramorous

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In this episode, we get to talk with Carlee Nussbaum, a certified nutrition health coach. She tells us about struggling with anxiety from an early age, and how healing herself from emotional eating also got her into coaching people to overcome it. She also gave some tips on how to have a good relationship with food, how to keep our hormones healthy and balanced, and how we should add or eliminate certain foods based on what’s best for our own health.

[4:56] Constant Cycle

“As young as I can remember, and my parents can remember, I struggle with insecurities, weight struggle, social anxiety… It was bad, and I completely lost myself, and it’s interesting because now, it’s the best thing that happened to me.”

[11:27] Healing Yourself

“If anyone out there is wondering if you should get help, get it from as many people as you can because it’s life changing.”

[16:03] Nobody’s Perfect

“I think that’s so important for everyone out there to know too, that all of those people in social media that you see that acts like they’re completely healed, they’re not and they’re just not showing it.“

[18:13] Eating Disorder vs. Disordered Eating

“During that time, I had lost my period, my hair was thinning out completely. It was also when I was extremely depressed; that was impacting it.”

[24:59] Symptoms

“It got to the point where it was like I didn’t look healthy…Instead of shooting for the smaller version of yourself, shoot for the healthier version of yourself.”

[29:17] Wedding Weight

“We always say like ‘Thick and thin; I love you thick and thin.’”

[37:38] Healthy Hormones

“Hormones are crazy, they take over you.”

[44:40] The Right Food for YOUR Diet

“It’s interesting but it’s just crazy how certain foods can do that to you, like foods can just control and help so much which is an amazing thing… there could be a food that you’re eating that’s making you not focus that much.”

[51:17] Healthier Options

“Make things that are still gonna make you feel good, but not restrict yourself, because restricting yourself isn’t the way to go.”

[56:16] Comfort Food

“Figure out what those triggers are… You don’t realize it, but there’s a reason why you’re going to the pantry three times…I think we just lean on food because it’s comforting.”

[1:01:04] Being Good Enough

“No matter how much you work on it, I’ll be totally honest, there’s still days when i’m like ‘is this what I should be doing?’ if I’m self-conscious about it… but everyone has their own timeline too.”

[1:08:02] Consistency

“Some pressure’s good, but I think it’s really important to take that step back.”

Follow Carlee on instagram @clarifywellness

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In this episode, we chat with entrepreneur and former cast member of The Bachelor, Susie C. Evans. We get to chat about the ins and outs of being part of The Bachelor, such as falling in love on set, the role that production plays in building relationships on the show, and dealing with the pressure of being watched, unfiltered. She also talks about her roller-coaster life as an entrepreneur and the importance of pursuing your passion.

[3:01] Nominee

“I just thought it was so ridiculous, the concept of it… I remember saying and thinking ‘I would be horrible and I won’t take it serious’.”

[5:40] The Season’s Bachelor

“I think it’s because I just put so much value on character for men, rather than their looks… so I was just like ‘Okay, we’ll see, we gotta put him through the test’.”

[10:37] The Odds

“I remember they kept asking, ‘Could you fall in love in 2 months?’, and I was like yeah, probably, I’ve done that before, but it’s like totally different on television vs. in the real world…”

[13:12] Curated Match

“I remember seeing things happen and people being excited about things Clayton did for them, and I was like ‘Okay, that was obviously production’, and I remember thinking ‘How are people falling for this? ”

[19:22] Saying No

“It’s frightening not just because what you say could be taken out of context, but because of editing. They could edit you to look a lot of different ways.”

[22:53] Dealing with Pressure

“I remember the influx of people that were messaging me, saying horrible things at first… I remember looking back at myself during that time, and I was in depression for sure.”

[29:04] Social Media Posting

“When you use your platform for something that’s really good, but maybe not as ‘juicy’… then you are like ‘this is a true reflection of my passion and how I like the world to experience life’, and it flops.”

[33:42] Magic in Japan

“It was incredible, it was the best thing I ever could have done.”

[37:02] Work over Dates

“I would love to just have that person magically appear, and they’re like with me for the rest of my life… I just don’t wanna do the dirty work of dating all these guys to find the one.”

[43:04] Dirty Work of an Entrepreneur

“I know we shouldn’t aim to fail, but once you start failing and you realized that ‘Oh I picked myself back up and I got through it’, it teaches you that that’s just a part of the process.”

[53:54] Pursuing Passion

“It doesn’t matter, the views. It matters that you’re doing what you’re passionate about and that you’re aligned with, and like we said, the right thing will fall into place when it’s meant to.”

[59:03] Future Plans

“Right now, I’m just like super open-minded to going down any avenue of video and photo; just kinda see what sticks, and also like where I’m passionate, I think.”

Follow Susie on instagram @susiecevans

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In this episode, Kelly gives us a glimpse of how 2023 is going so far for her, in terms of love, health, and career. She talks about the things she learned from her new job, plans for her business, tips on how to re-energize our health, and how her body work experience made her realize to trust what she feels when it comes to dating.

[2:33] New Job

“We stay when we’re comfortable. Life doesn’t change until we make changes.”

[9:08] Back to Business

“That’s the beauty in being an entrepreneur, is that you get to decide and you get to choose what you want for you.”

[16:02] Fatigue is not Normal

“I’m not a burn-out chic, so I recognize when I need to pull back and scale back, and take care of me, and that’s kind of what I’ve been doing.”

[20:17] Health Check

“What I really liked about progressive medical so far is that they are giving me a treatment plan, which is something I haven’t had.”

[28:25] Healthy Habits

“Walking is wonderful for you; it’s a mind, body, soul connection.”

[30:24] Ending the Cycle

“There’s this core belief down to my gut that says ‘something’s wrong with you, that’s the reason you’re not getting chosen for things or people’.”

[38:35] Not Chasing

“I want a man who is sure about me, because that is the consistent safety that I’m looking for.”

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In this episode, we chat with Tasha Wall — business coach, psychic healer, and former personal fitness trainer. We get to speak about healing the root of our traumas, the underlying truth about fuck boys, pursuing fame, working on ourselves, and how we could actually meet and connect with our soulmate.

[5:30] Breaking through Patterns

“The healing is when you actually get to the root and remove it; our body has so much memory.”

[13:35] Men and Money

“The way that men spend money on us shows our ability to receive things. The way that men give us time, the way that men give us gifts, that teaches us something about ourselves.”

[15:45] The Popular Guy

“F-boys are literally the potion of pain and pleasure.”

[20:30] Trigger

“We break up to channel our fierceness to get what we wanted, but we can only hold on for so long.”

[24:32] Fame

“At the end of the day, that’s what we want. We want to be admired.”

[25:25] The Chase

“We could be easy to love. People don’t have to earn their way into your life. Don’t make it harder for people to get in just because one person screwed you over.”

[34:29] Reciprocity

“The more it’s not a big deal to you, the more you own whatever it is that’s vulnerable, and also that’s not even vulnerable anymore, that’s what’s gonna make you attract people.”

[39:06] Connecting to a Soulmate

“The faster you connect to his soul, and hold that connection, the faster he enters into your life.”

[50:22] Meeting our Soulmate

“I think we have multiple soulmates…We make up on our minds what the ideal connection is and it’s not productive.”

[1:02:26] Realities of a Reality Show

“If you don’t tell someone your story, they’re just gonna make one about you.”

[1:07:38] Real Love

“When you have a soul connection, you’re one and there’s an ‘Us’, not ‘What can I do for you?’, ‘What can you do for me?’”

[1:18:42] Working on Ourself

“You have hooks that are coming out of your feet into the ground, make you feel like you’re always stuck in one spot, always wondering what the next step is, always looking around for direction.”

Follow Tasha on instagram @tashwallfit

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In this episode, we get to talk with entrepreneur and “Hulah” dating app founder, Heather Hopkins. We talk about starting her dating app, why women needed a safe space for dating, and how dating a guy endorsed by other women guarantees better dates. She also walks us through some features of the “Hulah” app that will definitely help out women on finding their best match.

[2:40] The Beginning

“I always knew that I would start a company, I just never knew what it would be.”

[7:38] Followers

“I start to lose lots of roles because of that.”

[9:08] Safe Space

“It’s unsafe out there for us… there are a lot of guys that speak to us inappropriately on apps, and there’s a lot of like messed up guys on apps.”

[10:57] Female Power

“Hulah, now, is a space where you date better guys endorsed by other women.”

[13:47] Dating Points

“We’re not here to make people insecure, and it’s not based off looks…There’s no negative points.”

[19:34] Fear of Dating Apps

“Use the app as a supplement, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about…Times are different now.”

[20:48] Red flag or Green flag?

“You always wanna show the colors of your life… I think a lot of people make the mistake of putting on a lot of filters and not being their authentic selves.”

[23:06] Tips on the App

“You want things that show the colors that people could ask about.”

[29:35] Her Dating Life

“Being an entrepreneur is really hard, and it takes a special guy to deal with this kind of lifestyle.”

[33:06] Different Worlds

“You always want to just be with someone, whether whatever they do or whatever lifestyle, they don’t dim your light.”

[34:48] Getting Immersed

“I just know a lot. I think I can bring a lot of perspectives but I still need experiences to happen.”

Follow Heather on instagram @itsheatherhopkins

Join Hulah

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