Selfish for Success: Entrepreneur | Business | Psychology | Self Esteem | Happiness | Health

Last time, we discussed how crucial Resilience is for success, how it’s vital to have the strength of mind and body to weather the bumps on the road to success. The second crucial ability you need is Resourcefulness. Resourcefulness is the ability to skillfully and quickly solve problems, overcome challenges, and generate creative solutions. Without it, you're dead in the water. In today's podcast, we cover what Resourcefulness is, why it's critical to your success, what happens when you lack it, and how to access and develop it in yourself. Episode highlights:  The KEY to being resourceful: using what you already have Most people don’t realize they have enormous resources at their disposal that they can use RIGHT NOW to attain anything they want What your PRIMARY resource is and why most people barely use it You already have within you the most powerful tool in the world (I'll tell you how to access it) The 2 shifts you need to make to become powerfully Resourceful A famous example from history that exemplifies resourcefulness Don't Miss a Thing Get every episode automatically! Resources Mentioned SFS 071: How to Become Resilient Apollo 13 (movie) Share the Value If you're enjoying the show, please rate it on iTunes and write a brief review. That would help a lot to spread the word and get more listeners to the podcast. Ask Questions or Provide Feedback To ask questions, request episode topics or provide feedback, email me at [email protected] Connect With Me [fb_button]   Follow @drsteveorma Additional Resources Therapy and sleep coaching with me.

Resilience is crucial for success in anything. When you pursue big dreams or goals, challenges, problems and setbacks inevitably arise. If you lack Resilience to withstand those challenges, you will fail. Resilience means having the strength of mind and body to face and overcome challenges as you pursue your goals and dreams. It’s the ability to take a hit and bounce back. A resilient boxer can take punches and keep fighting, and stay in the fight until success. You must learn to do the same. What happens to most people is they start pursuing their dream, then they run into challenges. They quickly get frustrated, discouraged, and start doubting themselves, causing them to lose their confidence and motivation, AND THEY GIVE UP. This happens because they expected it to be easy, and smooth, and when challenges come up they see them as signs to give up or that they’re incapable. This mental outlook WEAKENS them mentally, emotionally and physically, zapping their Resilience. In today's podcast, I reveal the secret to becoming as Resilient as steel, so you can handle the inevitable challenges that arise on the way to your dream, and ultimately succeed. Episode highlights: The 3 KEYS to becoming powerfully resilient EXPECT that you will have challenges and problems on the road to your dream What you can learn from trees about resilience You must be flexible and adapt You need emotionally-compelling reasons WHY you want your dream Resilience is a MUSCLE--the more you exercise it, the stronger it gets Don't Miss a Thing Get every episode automatically! Share the Value If you're enjoying the show, please rate it on iTunes and write a brief review. That would help a lot to spread the word and get more listeners to the podcast. Ask Questions or Provide Feedback To ask questions, request episode topics or provide feedback, email me at [email protected] Connect With Me [fb_button]   Follow @drsteveorma Additional Resources Therapy and sleep coaching with me.

There's a lot of talk about mindset. But WHY is mindset so important, and why does your success in EVERY area of your life depend on it? Your mindset is the fundamental beliefs you hold about yourself and the world. It determines how you feel, what actions you take, and the habits you develop. It creates who you are and what happens in your life. Your life right now (your level of success, emotional state, level of self-esteem, income, and how happy you are) is a direct reflection of your mindset. Today, I reveal why this is and how you can develop a winning mindset. Episode highlights: Your mindset will determine whether you have a life of happiness and success, or a life of fear, frustration, failure and unhappiness Your mindset is the ENGINE that powers you to success Skills, strategy, and knowledge are only 10% of success Why the best athletes in the world can CHOKE in competition 6 ways to adopt and foster a success mindset 2 CRUCIAL beliefs you need to succeed (otherwise, you're SCREWED) Don't Miss a Thing Get every episode automatically! Resources Mentioned Mindset, by Carol S. Dweck, PhD SFS 061: The Secret to Self-Confidence Share the Value If you're enjoying the show, please rate it on iTunes and write a brief review. That would help a lot to spread the word and get more listeners to the podcast. Ask Questions or Provide Feedback To ask questions, request episode topics or provide feedback, email me at [email protected] Connect With Me [fb_button]   Follow @drsteveorma Additional Resources Therapy and sleep coaching with me.

Perfectionism means always trying to meet high standards AND not making mistakes or failing as you try to meet those standards. The problem with perfectionism is NOT high standards, but the rules for HOW to meet those standards. And the rules are: I can NEVER make mistakes, perform at an average or sub-par level, fail, stumble, and not be the best I can be--ALWAYS. If you try to live by these rules, it'll cause enormous havoc on your mental health, happiness, and enjoyment of life. WHY does perfectionism lead to misery and failure? And what is the rational alternative that allows you to have high standards and big dreams, without all the stress, anxiety, and pressure that perfectionists frequently experience? In today's episode, I'm going to give you a way to meet super-high standards, achieve really big goals, and also ENJOY your life in the process. Episode highlights: The FALSE alternative of perfectionism vs. low standards A way you can actually be perfect (without the trap of perfectionism) What a chipped tea cup and pets can teach you about perfection Perfectionists try to meet a standard that's IMPOSSIBLE for human beings How perfectionists continuously SCREW themselves (and how to avoid this) Why mistakes, setbacks, and failures are MASSIVE THREATS to a perfectionist Why perfectionism leads to a fear of taking risks Why perfectionism causes an enormous amount of anxiety and stress With perfectionists, life becomes a constant test of their self worth Many top performers are perfectionists, but that's NOT why they succeed (in fact, they would achieve more and with more joy if they weren't perfectionists) How perfectionism can lead to depression Why mistakes and poor performance are a GIFT that can lead you to excellence The RIGHT standard for high achievement and a joyous life “I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” Michael Jordan (from Brainyquote) Don't Miss a Thing Get every episode automatically! Share the Value If you're enjoying the show, please rate it on iTunes and write a brief review. That would help a lot to spread the word and get more listeners to the podcast. Ask Questions or Provide Feedback To ask questions, request episode topics or provide feedback, email me at [email protected] Connect With Me [fb_button]   Follow @drsteveorma Additional Resources Therapy and sleep coaching with me.

Everyone procrastinates. But when it becomes chronic or stops you from performing tasks required to move towards your dreams and goals, it can have a devastating impact on your life. Today, I reveal what causes procrastination, and the most effective strategies for overcoming it so it doesn't stop you from creating the life you want. Episode highlights: The 3 main causes of procrastination How procrastination can literally KILL you Why sometimes it's GOOD to procrastinate Procrastination is just a form of AVOIDANCE 7 ways to STOP procrastinating The first question to ask yourself when you're procrastinating Don't Miss a Thing Get every episode automatically! Resources Mentioned SFS 039: How to Stop Beating Yourself Up Share the Value If you're enjoying the show, please rate it on iTunes and write a brief review. That would help a lot to spread the word and get more listeners to the podcast. Ask Questions or Provide Feedback To ask questions, request episode topics or provide feedback, email me at [email protected] Connect With Me [fb_button]   Follow @drsteveorma Additional Resources Therapy and sleep coaching with me.

Life consists of making decisions, small and big, every day. If you have fear or difficulty making decisions, it can cripple and inhibit your ability to accomplish your goals and be happy. WHY do so many people fear making decisions? The main reason is they fear making the WRONG decision. But that's not even the real fear. Today, I talk about what really drives the fear, and give you 6 keys for becoming good at making decisions. Episode highlights: The 4 fears underlying the fear of making the wrong decision The clearer you are about what you want, the easier it is to make decisions Making decisions is about YOUR values and knowing what’s good for you Why knowing the HIERARCHY of your values makes making decisions much easier Making decisions is an art AND a science Focus on making the best choice rather than avoiding making the wrong one How a quote from a rock song can relieve your anxiety about making decisions An EMPOWERING way to think about decisions Don't Miss a Thing Get every episode automatically! Share the Value If you're enjoying the show, please rate it on iTunes and write a brief review. That would help a lot to spread the word and get more listeners to the podcast. Ask Questions or Provide Feedback To ask questions, request episode topics or provide feedback, email me at [email protected] Connect With Me [fb_button]   Follow @drsteveorma Additional Resources Therapy and sleep coaching with me.

Fear of failure is probably the #1 reason people don’t go after their dreams. Fear comes from the perception of danger or threat. But with fear of failure, the threat is NOT physical, but something more powerful. Today, we're going to delve into fear of failure and reveal why it's so deadly and stops so many people in their tracks. Episode highlights: What you're REALLY afraid of when you fear failure The way most people handle fear is completely WRONG and actually INCREASES their fear The two keys to conquering fear of failure How fear of failure is often tied to your SELF-ESTEEM (and why that's a massive threat) Knowing how you INTERPRET failure is one key to dissolving your fear Why many people would rather give up their dreams than face their fear How to turn failure into a tool of success Why when you fail, it means POSITIVE things about you If you're not failing,  it means you're not going after anything significant in your life Don't Miss a Thing Get every episode automatically! Share the Value If you're enjoying the show, please rate it on iTunes and write a brief review. That would help a lot to spread the word and get more listeners to the podcast. Ask Questions or Provide Feedback To ask questions, request episode topics or provide feedback, email me at [email protected] Connect With Me [fb_button]   Follow @drsteveorma Additional Resources Therapy and sleep coaching with me.

One of my email subscribers, a 20-year-old named Muskaan, emailed me in response to an email I sent out about "Why it's so hard to put yourself first" (you can read his full email below). It raised some big questions for him. Like, should we give up our dreams for others? When he was 12, Muskaan gave up his dream of being a tennis player to please his father who wanted him to focus more on his studies. Later, Muskaan gave up his dream of being an artist, also for his father. This is an issue almost everyone struggles with, and it's one reason I started this podcast--to provide some clear and rational answers to these types of questions. Today, I respond to the question of whether should you give up your dreams for others. Episode highlights: Why giving up your dreams for ANYONE is the worst thing you can do Why would someone else's happiness depend on you giving up your dreams? Giving up your dreams leads to unhappiness, dissatisfaction, and resentment (if done for someone else) School shouldn't be the only value for a child Why the most important part of childhood should be figuring out what you LOVE How you can put someone else first (while you're also putting YOURSELF first) People who love you should SUPPORT your dreams 100% (NOT ask you to give them up) Muskaan's email: Hello Dr. Orma , I appreciate you and your kind words. But I've a question for you. It'd be much appreciable if you could help me with this question. In this email you said that we've been taught that a good person is someone who puts others first and himself or herself last . So I wanted to ask you that , is it bad to put others first? And another thing, yes it is true and I appreciate your word that no one has ever come up with a rational justification for why we should give up on our dreams for others. According to me, we'd give up our dreams for those who we love and everyone loves their respectful family. Sometimes in our lives, there comes a point where you need to give up on your dreams. For the better understanding and explanation, here are my few words which are related to my life . I gave up on my dreams when I was around 12 or 13 years old. I love to play tennis back then. I was always play tennis with my brother and sister but one day..... I stopped playing tennis because of my father. He wanted me to focus on my studies for the better future . Yes, it is good thing that he cares about me a lot and he always wants my best. I also had my interest in art and craft too. I always wanted to become a good artist but.....again because of my father i gave up on this dream too. But I always say this to myself every morning that "this is not the end yet, I'll find my way to have what I want, it's just not the right time" :) I know I've big dreams to achieve but I'd never give up on my parents dreams too and I don't think so anyone would want that too. I may not be right in this case but it's just my opinion which I thought to share with you sir. So I guess we'd give up on our dreams for our loved ones . :) Thank you !! Regards, Muskaan Don't Miss a Thing Get every episode automatically! Share the Value If you're enjoying the show, please rate it on iTunes and write a brief review. That would help a lot to spread the word and get more listeners to the podcast. Ask Questions or Provide Feedback To ask questions, request episode topics or provide feedback, email me at [email protected] Connect With Me [fb_button]   Follow @drsteveorma Additional Resources Therapy and sleep coaching with me.

How many times have you heard someone say: "I'll pursue my dream (or goal) when..." and then they name some condition that has to be met BEFORE they go for their dream. Maybe you've done this or are doing it now with a dream you have. The condition might be when you have enough confidence, or money, or the right credentials, or have improved yourself enough. Whatever it is it must be met first before you go after your dream. Waiting is deadly to your dreams and goals and it's almost always the wrong choice. I know because I've done it myself. Episode highlights: You'll NEVER feel fully ready to go after your dream Going for your dream takes courage, clarity and decisiveness There's no better time than NOW to pursue your dream The HUGE rewards of not waiting to take action The longer you wait, the longer you won't have the value you really want Waiting to pursue your dreams leads to REGRET Ask yourself: Am I postponing, or making excuses, or waiting until some condition has been met before I pursue my dream? If so, STOP WAITING and start pursuing your dream NOW. Don't Miss a Thing Get every episode automatically! Share the Value If you're enjoying the show, please rate it on iTunes and write a brief review. That would help a lot to spread the word and get more listeners to the podcast. Ask Questions or Provide Feedback To ask questions, request episode topics or provide feedback, email me at [email protected] Connect With Me [fb_button]   Follow @drsteveorma Additional Resources Therapy and sleep coaching with me.

A very overlooked and rarely talked about key to success is Responsibility. I'm not talking about doing chores or fulfilling dreaded obligations, but taking responsibility for the course of your life. It comes down to two choices: 1. Take 1000% responsibility for your life, happiness and success 2. Leave it up to someone or something else to give you the life you want The choice you make will have a PROFOUND impact on your success, happiness and self-esteem. Episode highlights: Why giving up responsibility leads to anxiety, passivity, and failure When you give up responsibility you give up control over your life Taking 1000% responsibility for your life leads to enormous benefits How taking the reins of your life makes each day an adventure Ask yourself: Am I taking 1000% responsibility for my life? Or am I waiting for someone or something else to give me what I want (happiness, my dreams or goals, my values)? What are the consequences or rewards of each choice?  Don't Miss a Thing Get every episode automatically! Resources Mentioned SFS 061: The Secret to Self-Confidence Share the Value If you're enjoying the show, please rate it on iTunes and write a brief review. That would help a lot to spread the word and get more listeners to the podcast. Ask Questions or Provide Feedback To ask questions, request episode topics or provide feedback, email me at [email protected] Connect With Me [fb_button]   Follow @drsteveorma Additional Resources Therapy and sleep coaching with me.