W3 Thr33 Tr0lls

Ever lemmings, we bit the bullet and jumped headlong into the world of Zoom, a place populated by stilted conversation, subpar audio and below average picture quality...on the plus side, this means longer podcasts so you can stop making that complaint, thank you very much. The world is falling apart at a dizzying pace and W3 Thr33 Tr0lls is doing our best to help speed the process along.

++BAD VIBES ONLY++

The end of the world is upon us...turns out the apocalypse is kinda boring, huh? Comedian James Demom helps us sift through the rubble.

The entire world has been quarantined; you're lookin' at 3 weeks at home with nothing to do and a diet consisting solely of Goldfish crackers and Gatorade cos the grocery store ran out of everything else...may as well catch up on W3 Thr33 Tr0lls!!! Start here with your binge.

NO AUDIO PODCAST FOR THIS EPISODE, GO WATCH IT ON YOUTUBE:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDBw1XGAjhs&t=1s

It's raining; it NEVER rains in L.A. You're drinking wine at Dee Dee Ramone's grave with a woman you think you may love; you NEVER love anyone you date. Your relationship with this woman has reached its zenith and you are oblivious. Later you return to Dee Dee's grave with comedian René Lancaster in tow. You plant a big fat kiss on Dee Dee's headstone, as is customary; why hadn't you planted a big fat kiss on the lips of the woman you loved the last time you were there with her? It's because you were oblivious. You remain oblivious.

Seabee and comedian Josh O'Brien is this week's guest on W3 Thr33 Tr0lls!

Comedian and Comedy Store regular Steven Furey is this week's guest on W3 Thr33 Tr0lls!

Your new neighbors moved in 3 months ago...and every day for 3 months they've slammed their front door AT LEAST 30 times, starting in the morning and continuing late into the night. They are RELENTLESS fuckfaces. By the end of the 3rd month you can't take it anymore, you buy a professional P.A. with 3 speakers; shit's loud as fuck, son! You point the speakers at the wall you share with your rude neighbors and get to work on the motherfuckers; for the first few days you blast Christmas music at them and when the door-slamming persists you start blaring Ke$ha. No dice, they continue to slam the door. For the next few weeks you blast obnoxious music at them, from Deicide to Tori Amos, but nothing seems to demoralize them enough to stop them from slamming that goddamned door! Finally, you plug your iPod into the P.A. and blast a single episode of W3 Thr33 Tr0lls at them around midnight; the next day your neighbors move out, traumatized. It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood...

Comedian and actor Alex Phillips is this week's guest on W3 Thr33 Tr0lls!

You're eating lunch in a modestly priced eatery. A homeless gentleman drunkenly stumbles in...this is your chance to VIRTUE SIGNAL! You hop out of your seat, waving your credit card in the air. "I'll help this man!" you valiantly declare to anyone within earshot. You grab the bum by the hand and lead him to the counter. "Anything you want on the menu under $5 is all yours, my man," you proudly beam. The bum turns to you and belches, "You're a fat cunt." You recoil in horror. The bum takes your glasses and smashes them on the floor. "No good deed goes unpunished," the bum hisses as he shoves you out of the way. You don't realize it but the bum has deftly stolen your iPod. As he pops the earbuds in he hears the soothing tones of W3 Thr33 Tr0lls. The bum smiles as he shits himself; another day in paradise!