94.3 Local Radio

Episode 57 – The Science Wars – Part Three In this episode the Breakfast Team try to turn Jim back to normal after a giant space whale ate all logic and turned him into a pineapple. To add insult the injury the space whale phones into the show along with a number of other guests who only serve to delay the Breakfast in their quest for answers. The news is replaced by the horoscope section once again and the show embarks on a self indulgent comic premise that culminates in a three minute song about a monkey. It’s no wonder why it’s the last episode in the series and the monkey song alone would force us to beg for a show from frank Malone instead, if it wasn’t for the fact a show from frank Malone is included and reminds us of just what a foolish request that would be. All in all the sort of finale you’d expect from a show so lacking in direction.

Episode 56 – The Science Wars – Part Two In this episode Jim and Andy attempt to carry on with the show as normal despite the fact the biology has ceased to exist. It’s not that much of a hold up really, leading to three or four attempts at the same poor joke, all of which fail to work successfully. Sure enough the show quickly abandons the idea by invoking the ludicrous notion of a so called ‘space whale’ in a desperate, crow-bar move to get the plot back on track. It also fails spectacularly and serves only to pitch the show into the gutter and an even deeper rut from which it can surely never recover. However the perverted art historian who says ‘tits’ a lot is in one sketch so it’s not all a waste of time.

Episode 55 – The Science Wars – Part One In this episode Frank Malone disappoints us all before the show returns to it main theme as the Breakfast Team attempt to instigate a war in the scientific community by sending Alan and John from the sports team along to a scientific peace conference. All in all one is left wondering what, if any, this episode could possibly be seen to be attempting to satirise and can only leave us with the feeling that the writers hold a deep and serious misunderstanding of how the scientific community and science as a construct progresses. The whole show can be seen as one giant step back in terms of rational thinking and although there are a few knob gags, there aren’t enough to please regular listeners.

Episode 54 – Andy and Jim upset the residents of Loch Ness by killing Nessie. In this episode the Breakfast team purposefully set out to murder the Loch Ness monster but are caught in the act by the enraged townspeople and forced to undertake a maritime mission that ends in a massive monster massacre. It all fun and games until the Breakfast Team resort to human sacrifice in order to clear their name and debt of honour with the good people of Loch Ness, but all this jollity and a lot more besides wont distract you from a very poor quality sketch that’s been slipped into the middle of the show in the hope that no one will notice.

Episode 53 – The Breakfast Team are replaced by Health Inspector John McGregor In this episode the regular DJ’s Andy and Jim are temporarily replaced by popular local health inspector John McGregor who does his best to appear charming and affable while all the time coming across as a nasty, insecure bully. The people of the county won’t take any nonsense off a man like him and so they begin a hate campaign to drive him from the air by bombarding him with calls questioning his sexual ethics. Sadly, before a full, on-air, mental melt down can occur, John’s stint as breakfast DJ is brought to an abrupt end by a needless tazering. All this and we take a look at the difficulties related to high speed chaffinch delivery services. Why would anyone need a chaffinch delivered at high speed? Sex.

Episode 52 – Jim and Andy visit the coast guard to witness their legal trials. In this episode the Breakfast Team try to get a giddy kick and thrill by watching innocent people fired to their death by a giant catapult owned and operated by the county’s coast guard. But illegal law courts and out right murder aren’t enough to fill the show so Andy and Jim try to fill time and pad out the show by playing a number of short shows seriously lacking in any sense of moral purpose. Ever wondered if ancient cultures liked a little bit of anal action? We have a highly speculative answer to that question that is based upon nothing at all other than our own perverse prejudices. Haven’t got time to listen, but really want to know the answer? The answer is, yes.

Episode 51 – Andy and Jim are involved in another helicopter crash In this episode the Breakfast Team get caught up in yet another helicopter crash, although this time they don’t have the good fortune to crash into a tall building but rather drop into a town square filled with hostile and aggressive locals. Diplomacy and reason goes right out the window as Jim unleashes an all-out ground assault on the town’s folk that sees him beaten to the ground by the angry crowd, resulting in Jim suffering from post-traumatic-stress-disorder that causes him to flee to the forests and set up a jungle style temple. Will Jose allow him to live out a life in the secluded peace of the woodland or will he force him to return to the radio to entertain idiots in the morning? Find out in this weeks episode!

Episode 50 – The Breakfast Team visit the Wild Wild West In this episode Jim and Andy travel back in time to pre-civil war America and come under a sustained onslaught of sexual advances from a multitude of horny cowboys. They spend their time between brothels and saloons until Jose turns up and forces a plot detour of a seriously questionable nature. Never the less the breakfast teams hop on board and see the show through to it’s underwhelming climax that only makes sense if you’ve heard previous episodes and even then fails to be funny or make any real kind of sense. Put all that aside and think of something else until you hear the final jingle and then carry on with something more important in your life.

Episode 49 – Andy and Jim scrabble around for ideas like a pair of rooting hogs in a ditch In this episode, due to a lack of preparation and foresight the Breakfast Team are forced to try to entertain the people of the county with nothing more than their own natural charm. It’s a recipe for disaster that can only serve as a demonstration of the psychological manifestations of sociopathy. With one DJ a persistent sex pest and the other DJ an aggressive persistent sex pest you might expect the show to end with the undignified abuse of a sex worker, and that is exactly how the show does end in a scene that raises more questions than it answers. Will you be baffled? Will you be perplexed? Or will you be shamelessly aroused? There’s only one way to find out, and that’s to listen to 94.3.

Episode 48 – Jim and Andy take part in the Ramayana In this episode the Breakfast Team get caught up in the Ramayana, an ancient battle fought out in the Hindu scriptures. Andy and Jim do their very best to avoid causing any cultural offence to the Hindu religion whilst openly engaging in public mockery of many of the scriptures long established participants. All this and John McGregor makes an unwelcome return to 94.3 in his new role as an environment control officer which he pursues with all the testosterone fueled hatred you’d expect from a failed health inspector. Have you ever asked yourself how many toes and nipples does a camel have? Find out, this week, on 94.3 Local Radio.