Caregiving For Dementia

This is just an update of the family. 27 Months after losing Mommy!

This Episode is a continuation of what went on after Mommy was picked up.

This is the first of a few episodes that goes through what you may feel right immediately after your loved one has passed away. There's not a whole lot to show notes with these episodes it's just me talking about what had happened immediately after Mama's death. What I thought would happen that didn't and that kind of thing. I hope these few episodes help you get along for a few months immediately following your loved one's death.

This episode is just a brief message to all those that are still downloading the podcast happy Thanksgiving to all.

This episode is just a brief message to all those that are still downloading the podcast happy Thanksgiving to all.

Episode # 93

There comes a time in caregivers journey that they know time
is very close to running out. We hear caregiving for dementia have realized
that fact.

The past five days Mama has not eat anything at all, the past
four days Mama has not drank anything, and for the past three days Mama’s been
very hard to wake up at all. When she is awake it’s about two minutes and she’s
right back out.

Mamas, breathing has also changed its no longer normal
breathing. Doesn’t look the same, doesn’t sound the same as the normal
breathing does Mama breeze through her mouth now and has for the past three
days. And also she’s breathing through her mouth it’s not as loud as you would
think it should be.

If you listen to me anytime at all you know that we keep my
older brother and his wife informed as to what mamas doing anytime something
changes with Mama last night we had the hardest conversation the family can
have. We talked about what to do when this journey is over. What to expect and
what not to expect from Mama. From the people that we need to talk to when it’s
done. What we want and what we don’t want as for his funeral arrangements.

I guess I’m kind of lucky in this respect because my older
brothers always told me that he married mom, meaning that his wife and mom
think an awful lot alike and I know from my own standpoint I’ve had
conversations with mom and turned around had same conversation with his wife
and dam near had the same conversation and there was no way, absolutely no way
that mom and his wife had talked.

So now I find myself trying to come to grips with the fact of
not having mom in the living room. Mama not be in there when I come home from
the store. Not knowing exactly how to fill. All kind of emotions are floating
through my head, my heart, and I’m sure that the same kind of things are going
on with Stephanie and Michael I’m sure they have all kind of feelings running
through their brains as well. Feeling helpless is probably my number one
feeling right now. Not being able to help mom do anything at all.

 Everything is changing
so rapidly this week, although mom is still with us for now we are getting
prepared for Mama’s last trip to West Virginia.

 I’m not sure if there
will be in episode next couple weeks I’ll have to play that by ear.

Episode #92

Show Notes

There are so many things in life that normal people take for
granted. This becomes more apparent the longer you take care of your loved one.
There are things that I take for granted because there things that come natural
to me that Mama can no longer do for herself.

Mama can no longer wash her face, brush her hair, brush her
teeth, or even talk. Mama tries so hard to talk to us and you can see the
frustration in her face as she tries to say something and can’t. Mama tries to
hold a cup of something to drink and because of her Parkinson’s she shakes so
bad that some of whatever’s in the cup spills out. Mama so apologetic when she
makes a mess.

One of the things that I have taken for granted myself in my
caregiving was the fact that when Mama was taking care of my grandmother who
fortunately was not as bad as Mama is Mama never asked me to stay with grandma
to help with grandma. I always had free time on my hands to do whatever I
wanted to do. And I’ve forgotten that in my caregiving because we were leaving
Michael with his grandmother way too much. We sought that it was good training
for a after all he is old enough to have a child of his own. And until recently
here we did not realize that Michael was having a troubled time taking care of
his grandmother. And I’ve forgotten how much free time I had with my
grandmother.

A lot of times I’ll go out and check on Mama and mamas
asleep, but there are other times where mamas really fidgety, and the only
thing I can do is just sit there to chair and hold her hand. Tell her she’s
okay, tell her that she’s safe, that I love her.

A lot of the time in my own caregiving, I take for granted
the fact that I can go brush my teeth, my mouth. Mama can no longer do that and
here the other day I was trying to give her some ice water out of a spoon and
this white flaky something another come out of her mouth. I asked Mama said
Mama what is that and of course I didn’t get a straight answer, all I got the
beat was mumbo-jumbo, come to find out what ever this crap was all through her
mouth, was on her tongue, the roof of her mouth. Now I don’t have nerve enough
to stick my fingers in my mother’s mouth! That’s just not going to happen. So I
ended up taking a toothbrush and brushing her mouth her teeth, the roof of her
mouth.

So if your loved one stops eating check their mouth make sure
this pasty crusty group is not in their mouth. Because it could stop them from
eating could stop them from swallowing.

In your caregiving a lot of times you do things in the heat of the moment. After time goes by you wonder whether or not what you did was the right thing to do.

A lot of caregivers won’t tell you everything that they go through in their caregiving. I am one of those people who won’t tell you every little thing that goes on in in the house with the caregiving I am one that won’t tell you what Mama has done to us I won’t tell you what we’ve done to Mama.

What I tried to do in this podcast is tell you what we do and what we don’t do because of dementia. When we first started caregiving we didn’t know what we were doing at all.

I’ve gone out to Facebook to the caregiving support groups and I have found that a lot of posts in those groups are things that we have had questions about in our caregiving. So I try to take this podcast and tell you what we have done in that situation and what we haven’t been in that situation All to try to help you in your caregiving.

I am also taking some courses in podcasting through the school of podcasting and you can find out at www.schoolofpodcasting.com and while taking these courses we have meetings every once in a while and in one of those meetings I had a lady asked me, if I had any regrets in my caregiving? Immediately the answer was no. If you hurt listen to me anytime at all you know that I have the attitude of I’m not doing anything for Mama that Mama didn’t do for me when I was a kid. So now I don’t have any regrets taking care Mama.

There are times when Mama doesn’t want to eat or drink anything. That seems to of gotten worse for some reason this past week. We don’t know why all we do know is that there are times when we could get her Glucerna shakes down her when we couldn’t get her to eat anything but for some reason this week were having a lot of problems getting her to drink anything. We’re having to take a spoon and try to get her to take a sip out of the spoon. We’ll have to see how long that takes. If you don’t get anything down her and she doesn’t get her medicine the right way the right time.

There comes a time in your caregiving where a lot of things don’t matter anymore. If the one that your caregiving for doesn’t eat or drink anything, there’s not a whole lot you can do about it. That would probably be my, if I had to pick a regret, in my caregiving that would probably be it, the fact that you can’t make them eat, you can put food in front of them, you can put drink in front of them, but you can’t make them drink, and that that would be my one regret the fact that I can’t force Mama to eat or drink although I may try you can’t force them to take anything in.

Episode #91

Show Notes

In your caregiving a lot of times you do things in the heat
of the moment. After time goes by you wonder whether or not what you did was
the right thing to do.

A lot of caregivers won’t tell you everything that they go
through in their caregiving. I am one of those people who won’t tell you every
little thing that goes on in in the house with the caregiving I am one that
won’t tell you what Mama has done to us I won’t tell you what we’ve done to
Mama.

What I tried to do in this podcast is tell you what we do and
what we don’t do because of dementia. When we first started caregiving we
didn’t know what we were doing at all.

I’ve gone out to Facebook to the caregiving support groups
and I have found that a lot of posts in those groups are things that we have
had questions about in our caregiving. So I try to take this podcast and tell
you what we have done in that situation and what we haven’t been in that
situation All to try to help you in your caregiving.

I am also taking some courses in podcasting through the
school of podcasting and you can find out at www.schoolofpodcasting.com and while taking these courses we have meetings every
once in a while and in one of those meetings I had a lady asked me, if I had
any regrets in my caregiving? Immediately the answer was no. If you hurt listen
to me anytime at all you know that I have the attitude of I’m not doing
anything for Mama that Mama didn’t do for me when I was a kid. So now I don’t
have any regrets taking care Mama.

There are times when Mama doesn’t want to eat or drink
anything. That seems to of gotten worse for some reason this past week. We
don’t know why all we do know is that there are times when we could get her
Glucerna shakes down her when we couldn’t get her to eat anything but for some
reason this week were having a lot of problems getting her to drink anything.
We’re having to take a spoon and try to get her to take a sip out of the spoon.
We’ll have to see how long that takes. If you don’t get anything down her and
she doesn’t get her medicine the right way the right time.

There comes a time in your caregiving where a lot of things
don’t matter anymore. If the one that your caregiving for doesn’t eat or drink
anything, there’s not a whole lot you can do about it. That would probably be
my, if I had to pick a regret, in my caregiving that would probably be it, the
fact that you can’t make them eat, you can put food in front of them, you can
put drink in front of them, but you can’t make them drink, and that that would
be my one regret the fact that I can’t force Mama to eat or drink although I
may try you can’t force them to take anything in.