Today I Learned (Nothing)

The guys agree that late night TV has changed a lot in the last decade, but it also hasn't really changed at all. Then, the talk strays to whether or not Jason pees in the shower and, honestly, it's just a big toilet bowl after that.

Let he who is without poop cast the first load. Steve is convinced that the loathsome white stuff that flies from a sky rat's butt is a sign of karma setting things right with a person. Jason asks was it karma or consequence? But really, they're both just full of it.

We bask in the glory of Steve's Pile of Shame, including some standout Zelda titles. Also, find out why you shouldn't ever watch someone beat a game you might want to play. Finally, bond over gaming with someone you love ... and don't be surprised when your relationship is ruined.

When it comes to defending your home, Steve recommends a good old fashioned pair of nunchucks. Jason opts to scare them with a ghostly, pale sight instead. Also, just what does graphite do in a baseball bat?

Steve was excited to bond with his wife on their first date in months and she was dreading the thought. He was also super stoked about showing off his super questionable skills in axe throwing that his childhood neighbor, Davy Crockett, taught him. Finally, never forget, that his wife is always keeping score.

Jason got a small taste of the pastor's life and the elusive stardom of a YouTube star in the same go and he wants MORE. Steve's kids agree that he and his wife are weird about their social media dreams and want better representation. And both guys look back at their early beginnings on the "make other people listen to your voice" world of podcasting.

Steve tells of the greatest coin purse he ever owned, and why they make kangaroos cower in fear. Jason posits that frontier was so boring, people resorted to loving on the animals a bit too much. Together, the guys go on Amazon to check the price of kangaroo scrotum bags.

Steve is sad to see summer go, but he's sending it off with one of his favorite pastimes: CRABBIN'. Learn why a pot is not necessarily a cage, why sexing a crab does not involve butter, and why peeing on yourself (or others), while hilarious, does nothing to alleviate the pain of a jellyfish sting.

It's Labor Day weekend, so it's a perfect time for a clip show! Steve is insistent about not visiting a back-alley porn room and he recalls the war between the bloods and the crips in the woods of Idaho, while Jason lashes out like a toddler because he has too much stuff and reminds Steve that he's actually quite dyslexic.

Relationships with mothers-in-law can be tricky, but especially when they inexplicably cry about corn, as Steve found out. And while Steve has grown and matured since getting married and having kids, Jason appears to be regressing and will soon by a fetus once again.