Mason Lee Tompkins

I'm writing a book in 2020, and giving myself the first 90 days in Q1 to do it. In this episode I outline my initial ideas for the book, and my entire approach to writing it.

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On social media most of us write our captions on our goals, give advice on things we’ve figured out, share fun times and great achievements.

But in private, the conversation often turns to the problems of life. I’m struggling with this thing that happened to me, I’m unhappy at work, I don’t know where I’m going or what I’m doing.

A lot of my writing has been focused on the former, because it seems that most people want to know how to accomplish their wildest dreams.

Looking back through my blog posts, I see that the ones I cared about the most, and the ones that prompted the most interaction from you, were focused on fixing the problems of life.

Stoicism has helped me immensely as a toolkit for when I’m uncomfortable, unhappy, or under fire. Talking about it in this form has resonated with enough of you to really notice that it’s making a difference in your thinking.

Yesterday, I got a DM on Instagram from someone who read my post about employee engagement. He told me all about his work which was highly sought after and hard to get, but now that he is there he’s completely disengaged and uninterested. What do you do then?

Those are the kinds of questions I want to answer. Fixing problems is my thing, I’m good at it. I’m very hands on in helping people that I know, introducing them to potential clients, helping them learn a new skill, helping them get through a rough time. It gives me energy when I know that the advice I gave truly took someone’s pain away. I want to do that for you, too.

Let me leave you with this today:

The answer to most of your problems is going to be self control.

When problems arise in life, they take two forms: things you can affect change on, and things you have zero influence over.

For the things you can change, you need the discipline, foresight, and audacity to act and affect positive change.

For the things you can’t change, you need to learn to compartmentalize your emotions and leave them in the amygdala. Don’t allow your emotions to cloud your higher thinking. If you can learn to embrace the day you’re given, and not compare it to the people around you who look like they have it all together (they don’t) then you’ll be a lot more at peace.

So, you may start to see a shift in my writing. Maybe it’ll stay pretty much the same. Just know I have your best interest at heart, and I’m truly here to help. If you want to write me back with something specific I can talk about for you, I would be thrilled to do what I can.

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“What are crumbs? The crumbs I’m talking about are the choices we make that make us have to look over our shoulder in the future.” — Matthew McConaghuey

I’m the guiltiest, so don’t take this blog as me telling you what to do. Make no mistake, this is my process of integrating this idea for myself.

Crumbs are the guilt, regret, and remorse you’re causing your future self to feel because of a lack of action today.

I have left many crumbs. Clients I could have served better so they’d still be paying me today. Friendships I let stagnate. Projects I didn’t give 100% effort on. Opportunities not seized. Money spent that was better saved.

You leave crumbs today, and those crumbs cause you more stress tomorrow. They stop you from creating a future for yourself in which you don’t have to feel the constant hum of anxiety and looking over your shoulder. They rob you of stability because you were unwilling to do what was necessary to set yourself up for a brighter future.

“Tee yourself up. Do yourself a favor. Make the choices, the purchase today that pays you back tomorrow.”

Choose to step up and conquer, rather than step down and continue down the path of entropy.

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My journey into bettering myself began in 7th grade, when I learned one simple fact about my own psychology:

I can control my own emotions.

I’m terrified of heights. When I look down and know that one wrong slip could leave me hitting the ground hard enough for real injury, my whole body shakes and and I become paralyzed.

Everything changed in 7th grade when I went with a whole group of friends to King’s Island, a theme park with some of the biggest rollercoasters I’ve ever ridden. I was avoiding riding anything too crazy while all my friends rode everything and had tons of fun. We came up to one ride which actually flips you over to ride superman-style at high speed, and there no was no way I was getting on. Our chaperone stopped and encouraged me, and told me:

“Of course it’s scary! But if you can set that aside and just get on anyways, it might be awesome.”

So I got on. Not because I suddenly had courage. I got on because of peer pressure and not wanting to look like a total wimp.

The first 5 seconds were completely nerve wracking as we ascended to the top of the first hill.

Then right as we inched over the top, I decided to let go. I’m definitely not falling out. Why not just surrender to the ride and let it take me around the track without thinking about how scared I am?

It was pure bliss, and to this day one of my favorite rides.

For the rest of that day, and for the next couple of summers I legitimately went to theme parks and got on rollercoasters with one intention in mind: This is how I practice being calm in the craziest of situations.

That was the seed of an idea that has come to define me and the way that I wish to approach the world. I will be calm and collected in the worst situations.

This helps me in business meetings, client pitches, presentations, and even used to help me when I would fight with my parents as a kid. Even when I’m being thrown around like a ragdoll, I’ve developed the skill of staying calm and collected.

You can control your own emotions. You can. I promise.

If you want to learn how, find something that lets you practice and play at the same time, just like I did with rollercoasters.

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Issues and hard times will continue to pop up in our lives, and sometimes we won’t be ready or equipped to handle them as gracefully as we might like. In those times, it is extremely helpful to seek advice.

When seeking advice, it is most best to identify the 1 person you trust, who has expertise in this specific set of circumstances, and cares more for your well being than they care for the ego boost from giving their opinion.

Too often, we seek advice from everyone for everything.

We like our jobs but we want to love it so we look outwardly for how other people love their jobs. Seems noble, but what happens as a consequence? You’ll go from liking your job, to trying to love it but hating it instead.

We‘re confident and excited about the product we’re going to sell, but let’s see what products are selling best for other people first. Now you’re selling something you don’t give a shit about, because someone who did give a shit put in a lot of work and made good money with it.

So start looking inward first, and only look outward when answers don’t rise up from within.

Odds are, you have your answers already. Maybe you’re just afraid of trusting yourself.

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First, here’s what you’re going to need to make the perfect cup of coffee:

1. Good Coffee Beans. Single Origin, Dark Roast, with fruit notes tends to be my favorite variety.
   
2. A Chemex or Dripper to make it in a pour-over fashion. I prefer pour-over above a french press because a) no silt and b) smoother taste.
   
3. Paper Filters. Do not be swayed by the marketing on metal filters that you wash out, they are objectively not as good and allow some silt through.
   
4. A Grinder. Unless you’re already using pre-ground coffee, you need to grind it. For optimal taste, grind only what you need for the cup you’re making, right before you make it.
   
5. A Kettle. I use an electric kettle with a thermometer built into the top. Any kettle works, as long as you can get it to a very precise temperature and it holds heat through the pouring period.
   

Now, here’s my exact process for making my perfect cup.

1. Turn on the kettle.
   
2. Take one paper filter, and place it in the dripper or chemex.
   
3. When the water reaches 193 degrees, remove it from heat and wet the filter.
   
4. With the filter wet and all the water through, pour the water out. With a Chemex you pour out through the channel in the side, and when using a dripper remove your cup from underneath and ditch the water.
   
5. Add in the coffee grounds. At this step, too little is bad, and too much is usually fine. I use two scoops or two tbsp for a 6oz cup. Technically more than needed, but more grounds means a faster and easier pour.
   
6. Now you shake it side to side and level out the grounds.
   
7. Start the pour. start directly in the center, and very slowly spiral outward toward the edge. Keep going making sure there is a ring of grounds building up at the edges, and the center has grounds mixed in. If you see pockets of air coming up, and it foaming into a lighter color at the top, you’re at the right temperature with the right technique.
   
8. When you finish the pour, ditch the filter and clean up! Because you brewed at 193 degrees, you have the perfect temperature for a tasty cup, and can start drinking immediately!
   

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I’ve been writing very consistently, almost daily, for a couple of months and today I have very few ideas.

But, I would love to give you the advice I use when I run up against a creative block.

Ideas In = Ideas Out

I can sit and think all day about what I want to say, but I just may not have the right angle, perspective, or the right lens to put it through today to create a full article or a full video. That’s okay!

Start looking around on social media. Read some other blogs on Medium. Find things that you might agree or disagree with. Something that sparks an “oh!” or a “good, but…” in your mind.

When you find something you disagree with, congrats! You just found your topic to write about, you are going to now dispel of that myth, or give an alternate take on it.

If you find something you actually agree with, it can spark something else in you, a new path to run down and see what other ideas come to the surface.

Don’t be paralyzed by the notion that every idea you have has to be original, because almost none of the ideas you have ever thought have been original.

Ideas In = Ideas out

Have some fun while you’re at it ;)

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How can we learn to be happy in our pursuit, rather than in our achievements? I think the answer lies in understanding the brain chemistry.  What you probably don’t know is that Dopamine is connected to anticipation, not a moment of achievement and euphoria.  Your brain is wired to reward you for PURSUING a goal, not for reaching it!

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Judging yourself is the biggest obstacle between you and what you want.

Stop judging yourself, and maybe you can live a little happier doing what’s best for you.

Learn more on today's episode!

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Ditch your ego, stop valuing yourself for your current ability, and start valuing your ability to figure things out. Become the learner in all situations, and you might find more success and potential within yourself than you thought possible.

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