To Be Determined...

[11:25] Jeff: give me copy for the blog post for the podcast.
[11:25] Jeff: do it!
[11:27] Dave: Let's see here...




[11:35] Jeff: uh... anything?
[11:35] Dave: It's not going well...
[11:35] Jeff: Thanks! I'll go with that!


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Come listen to a story 'bout a man named Deschain. A poor gunslinger, barely kept the tower safe. Then one day, when he's shooting at some dude, up from the ground came a horrible spider monster who then eats its own mother. Also: Spoilers!

This issue, we determine the merits of The Dark Tower Series, getting dressed in the morning, the Muppets, Street Fairs, and lots of other stuff, too. SUPER MOOOOOOON!

You will enjoy it. Your friends will enjoy it. Why not enjoy tweeting it to your friends right now?! We'll wait....

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STREET FAIR!!!!


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What can I say that would entice you to listen to this? That we talk about Shamrock Shakes? Or blinding ourselves for a million dollars?

See. Nothing I could say about the individual parts is very appealing, but, like a jigsaw puzzle of a cheeseburger, it's appealing all together.



Surprisingly: No King's Korner, despite the fact that Dave has been reading "The Dark Tower" series. Oy!



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Muppets, Muppets, and more Muppets... then some "The Hobbit"... then it's over.



Also: Muppets.


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Do you like "The Hobbit"? Do you HATE "The Hobbit"? Then you'll LOVE this episode!
All Hobbit, all the time! (Except when we diverge and go off on a tangent, of course.)



Also: Wizards are jerks.

Topics covered:
- The Hobbit: Chapter 1
- The Hobbit: Chapter 2
- The Hobbit: Chapter 3

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Hello new visitors! Let me explain what you are about to experience:
Madness.

Enjoy!

Want a little more explanation? Well, I can tell you that right now Dave and Jeff are in the middle of reading "The Hobbit" and discussing it in various mediums (text, chat, podcast). The results of these discussions are what you'll find, below.
If you want to start at the beginning of the bookclub, go here.

If you just want to subscribe to the podcast, check out these links:
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Here we go! Dave and Jeff discuss the finer points of Chapter 2: Roast Mutton!

[16:06] Dave: So you finished Roast Mutton?
[16:06] Jeff S: I have!
[16:07] Jeff S: Those poor trolls!
[16:07] Jeff S: there they are, just livin' their life... and along come these dwarves, Hobbit and magician, and kill them.
[16:08] Dave: Well, they were going to EAT them!
[16:08] Jeff S: OH! I remembered what I was going to say about chapter 1!
[16:08] Jeff S: (it applies to chapter 2)
[16:08] Jeff S: So... Gandalf. He is a wizard.
[16:08] Jeff S: because he SAYS SO?!
[16:08] Dave: ac
[16:08] Jeff S: OOOOH! He showed off his "ventriliquism spell"?!
[16:08] Jeff S:  using his "magic" to make the trolls think someone else is talking?
[16:09] Jeff S: honestly, if this were my first dance with Gandalf, I'd be really dubious that he wasn't just a con-artist.
[16:09] Jeff S: er... yeah, I'm magic. Look, I've..um... made a SMOKE RING!
[16:10] Dave: You should see what he can do in the bedroom.
[16:10] Dave: Why do Gandalf sex jokes spring so easily to mind?!
[16:10] Jeff S: the answer to that is deep within your psyche, I fear.
[16:12] Dave: I'd love to go deeeep into Gandalf's psyche if you know what I mean! (???)

[16:12] Jeff S: well... I shall continue to keep my eye on Gandalf, and make note of when he first exhibits some REAL magical tallent "on screen", as it were.
[16:12] Dave: Yeah… not too often really.
[16:12] Jeff S: Mind, we are already through chapter 2.
[16:12] Jeff S: and I know you don't want to lead with "big magic" or anything... but shouldn't there have been something by now?
[16:12] Jeff S: I can't be the first to feel like it's a put-on, right?
[16:12] Dave: Magic in Tolkien's world is very…conservative.
[16:13] Jeff S: aaaaaah! so it wants all hobbits to register themselves...
[16:13] Jeff S: conservative magic!
[16:14] Jeff S: We made Obama's birth certificate disappear! Conservative Magic!
[16:15] Jeff S: Watch as we Cut up ... and then not restore the Bill Of Rights! CONSERVATIVE MAGIC!
[16:15] Jeff S: no?
[16:15] Jeff S: not gonna make it to "meme" status?
[16:15] Jeff S: hashtag conservativemagic
[16:15] Dave: Hmmm…Gandalf is a raging islamaphobe?
[16:16] Dave: #conservativemagic
[16:16] Jeff S: Bilbo waterboards gollum for information on the ring.
[16:17] Dave: The gates of minas morgul are so high, they keep all the illegal immigrants out. #conservative magic
[16:17] Jeff S: But who's going to build them?! The Orcs, of course!
[16:17] Jeff S: #ConservativeMagicIrony
[16:19] Dave: I do think the orcs were a bit…um…questionable in the movie.
[16:19] Jeff S: seriously! how did so many get into Middle Earth, in the first place?!
[16:19] Dave: Ah! Well, I know the answer to that.
[16:19] Dave: They were made.
[16:20] Jeff S: way to torpedo a great gag.
[16:20] Jeff S: with your FACTS!
[16:20] Dave: oh...
[16:20] Dave: continue please.
[16:20] Jeff S: nah, I ran out of steam on it...
[16:20] Dave: ...
[16:20] Dave: They were made by Melkor, Sauron's master, as an answer to the Elves...

[16:20] Jeff S: so... Chapter 1: Mutton or whatever
[16:21] Dave: huh?
[16:21] Jeff S: hmmm
[16:21] Dave: Chapter 2: Roast Mutton
[16:21] Jeff S: so, you're saying that it's ok to kill something, even if it was just being itself, as was it's nature?
[16:22] Jeff S: the Trolls were what they are. could they help it if they were given a taste for man as food?!
[16:22] Jeff S: I'm totally going Hermione on this one and saying we should support the trolls!
[16:22] Dave: whoa
[16:22] Dave: Troll rights!
[16:23] Jeff S: and JRR says it's ok that they die, because they were stupid and mean.
[16:23] Dave: Well…they were murderous.
[16:23] Jeff S: well, so was the kid who bullied me in Jr. High, but I don't wish that good-for-nothing, piece of crap [name redacted] DEATH!
[16:23] Dave: yeah.
[16:23] Jeff S: YEAH!
[16:23] Dave: YEAH!
[16:23] Dave: Though...
[16:24] Dave: I believe this one guy who bullied me in middle school actually DID die...
[16:24] Dave: :(
[16:24] Jeff S: whoa.
[16:24] Jeff S: sh%t just got real
[16:24] Dave: Well, I'm exhausted now.

[16:25] Jeff S: Are the Dawrves and Bilbo and Gandalf REALLY any better than the Trolls, if you think of it?
[16:25] Jeff S: murderers, all
[16:26] Dave: Aren't we all just murderers in the end? (???)
[16:27] Jeff S: Not if they don't find the knives!

[16:27] Dave: I assume this is all going up on the blog?
[16:28] Jeff S: possibly.
[16:28] Dave: hahaha
[16:28] Jeff S: if I get around to it!
[16:28] Dave: That's the spirit!
[16:28] Jeff S: There is more to say, but this chat is running a bit long. So let's end it here.
[16:29] Jeff S: We'll be back with more "The Hobbit" book club, later in the week, when we discuss Chapter 3! 

LIVE FROM SAIGON MARKET, it's To Be Determined... bonus extra content!
In this audio file, Dave and Jeff, having FINALLY started reading "The Hobbit", discuss Chapter 1: An Unexpected Party ...



NOTE: It was recorded on a phone, during a meal so there is some background noise ... but for all that, it's rather easy to hear us, actually.

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The conversation moved to SMS on our phones. (Jeff is on the left, Dave is on the right)



Stay tuned.

Dave and Jeff continue their pre book-club-reading conversation about "The Hobbit". If you missed any of the chats, catch up by reading Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

The tale continues:

[10:47] Jeff S: So. We're ready to start reading The Hobbit, right? And we're going to read one chapter every 2 days?
... how many chapters are there?
[10:49] Dave: Hmmm...
[10:50] Jeff S: What I mean is: How long is this going to take?!
[10:50] Jeff S: How long will it take us to go there and back again?!
[10:50] Jeff S: are you ready to go back to titanic?!
[10:51] Dave: ha!
[10:51] Jeff S: Welcome... to Jurrassic Park!
[10:52] Jeff S: This. Is Sparta?
[10:54] Dave: The Squeakquel...
[10:54] Jeff S: HA!
[10:54] Jeff S: I'm not even sure what we're doing, right now...
[10:55] Dave: Me neither
[10:55] Jeff S: well, according to the eBook, there are XIX chapters...
[10:55] Dave: Whoa, X-rated?!
[10:56] Jeff S: "There and Boobs, again, a Hobbit's TAIL"
[10:56] Jeff S: These puns have probably already been sufficiently covered by now, I'm guessing?
[10:56] Jeff S: I'm... 100 years to late to make any new puns, here, aren't I?
[10:57] Dave: Probably, yeah
[10:59] Jeff S: born too late.
[10:59] Jeff S: story of my life!
[11:03] Jeff S: So, I just finished the "author's note"...
[11:04] Jeff S: did... did I ever tell you that in 3rd grade (the first and last time I read this book) ... gulp ... me and my friends learned how to write in tolkeinish runes?
[11:04] Jeff S: fluently.
[11:05] Dave: NO! How have you not told me this?
[11:06] Jeff S: shame?
[11:06] Dave: probably
[11:06] Jeff S: or... maybe this was later, in junior high (middle school)...?
[11:07] Jeff S: either way... yeah, I used to write notes in runes
[11:07] Jeff S: without having to reference a key
[11:22] Jeff S: And that concludes today's The Hobbit discussion! More tomorrow! (Tune in to find what other nerdy confessions we have!)
[11:30] Jeff S: I think this might have been our weakest IM chat about the Hobbit, yet...
[11:30] Dave: Yeah...
[11:30] Dave: :(
[11:30] Jeff S: oh well... at least I managed to embarass myself in it!
[11:30] Dave: Phew!
[11:30] Dave: I didn't pay enough attention.
[11:31] Dave: Can we have ANOTHER chat?!
[11:31] Jeff S: whaaaa?!
[11:31] Dave: YEAH!
[11:50] Jeff S: 20 minutes of silence...
[11:50] Jeff S: well... this one isn't turning out much better!
[11:50] Dave: Are you going to wear your special hobbit hat when you read?
[11:51] Dave: The floppy one...
[11:51] Jeff S: covered in hair foot-hair
[11:53] Jeff S: will you be wearing your special hobbit pants?
[11:54] Dave: Naw, no pants.
[11:54] Jeff S: AH! You're from the "Gandalf school" of book reading, I see!
[11:55] Dave: Indeed. Just WHAT is under all those billowing robes…
[11:55] Jeff S: many a fanfic has asked JUST that question, Dave...
[11:55] Dave: Though they basically showed Gandalf in his pajamas in that one scene in the Two Towers. Scandalous!
[11:56] Jeff S: which scene?
[11:56] Jeff S: the one where he was on one of the ... two towers?
[11:58] Dave: No, when they're all sleeping in Rohan when Pippin wakes up and touches the seeing stone.  Saaaaaay!
[12:00] Jeff S: hmmm.... can't say I remember that.
[12:00] Jeff S: did his pj's have a bum-flap?
[12:00] Jeff S: I could see them playing THAT up for gags!
[12:00] Dave: He liked to wear it in the front though.
[12:02] Jeff S: and hold puppet shows...
[12:02] Jeff S: featuring "Gandalf the Pink"
[12:03] Jeff S: This is getting PG-13.
[12:03] Dave: Let's see if we can push it to NC-17.
[12:03] Dave: Either that, or back to G.
[12:03] Dave: ALL OR NOTHING!
[12:04] Jeff S: Personally, I will back off from this topic ...like a hobbit does from Gandalf The Pink.
[12:05] Dave: Hobbits back up against Gandalf the Pink?!
[12:05] Dave: Smoke a bit of Old Toby?
[12:05] Jeff S: Long BOTTOM leaf?
[12:05] Dave: ha!
[12:19] Jeff S: Well, we hope you enjoyed this The Hobbit Book Club extra, "bonus" content...
[12:19] Dave: SPROING!
[12:20] Jeff S: Is that bonus content in your robes, are you just hiding a Hobbit?

Yep, it's devolving. Of note: The preamble is over! We'll actually have started reading the book by the time we have our next IM conversation! Look forward to THAT!