Unexpected English!

[EP 64] ASSAULT on the American Capitol? Just another day of the chaos, criminality and destruction brought about due to the tragic mistake called the Trump Presidency. Transcript included below.
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Hi everybody! Welcome back to another episode of Unexpected English! Unexpected... unexpectedly... this is unexpected because I did not expect to be recording an episode where I talk about the attack on democracy in my country. But I am recording this episode one day after that happened. One day after the so-called president incited his cult followers by again feeding them lies that he "won" the election. How pathetic is that? How pathological is that? But there are people who believe lies, I guess, if you repeat them often enough. And he has been repeating that lie and thousands of other lies his entire term in office. Well, no reason to talk about it I guess. If if anyone ever spoke with me, you know that I have said from the beginning the man is incapable and unfit: unfit mentally, unfit morally, unfit in every way. And this is the perfect conclusion to his four years of chaos. In fact there are, as I record this, 13 days left in his presidency and there is serious talk of invoking the 25th amendment. The 25th amendment (to the Constitution) says if the president is incapable of carrying out his duties, which of course he has been from the beginning, but in this case trying to overturn democracy and ignore the reality of an election that he lost! And inciting ... an attack on the institutions of this country: clearly that makes him unfit. But of course, I'm sure nothing will happen. That is to say, it's unlikely he will be removed from office and instead we will live counting down these final 13 days, hoping that he does not do anything crazier than what he has done. And it is crazy. it's crazy! Right now as I speak Trump is not allowed to post on Facebook. They took away his Facebook privileges but they didn't take away the codes to the nuclear weapons, you know? He could to destroy the planet, but he can't post on Facebook! So yeah, that's where we are right now. So welcome to 2021. Welcome to 2021. Oh, a little bit of news... if you listened to the last episode and I said my brother was foolishly flying across the country to visit my elderly mother. Well the good news is that did not happen because at the last minute my niece, my brother's daughter, tested positive for Covid, so they realized, finally, Uh-oh! Maybe not a good idea! So that trip didn't happen. So that's a good thing. What else do I have to report? Here in San Diego, as you know perhaps, California has zero emergency hospital beds available because of the pandemic. And to bring it back to Trump, yes he is responsible, his government is responsible... oh God! Well, let that go... let it go for now. I just wanted to give you an update. I'm staying safe at home. I hope you're staying safe at home and I hope to bring you maybe a cheerier episode, an episode was a little more fun next time around. But for now I guess that's it. Thanks for listening and we’ll catch you next time. Ciao ciao.
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[EP 63] Wrapping up 2020! It's a lockdown Christmas: I talk about my dumb@as brother, try to give you some holiday cheer, and even give a good recommendation for a speech to text transcription app to help you with your English. Sorry, but there is NO transcription for this episode : it was a little too long to include.  BUT if you use the app I mention in the podcast, you can make it yourself!  In fact, if you use this link, you can get one month FREE of the pro service and you can get the audio from your ZOOM meetings transcribed to text!  https://otter.ai/referrals/LZB8CR97
**** Happy Holidays! ***
Unexpected English has NO advertising or sponsors, and I am not looking for students.  I do it for fun, and hope you enjoy it. If you do, please help spread the word. Follow on Spotify and Instagram, and tell your friends! Thanks!

[EP 62] This was supposed to be a TEST, *not* a podcast episode! This episode may be difficult to understand: I rant like a crazy conspiracy nut, with no thought of being understood. Need help? USE THE TRANSCRIPT BELOW* *** Hi everybody! It's me Louis with another episode of Unexpected English! It’s, well, this one is unexpected but it's not supposed to be an episode. In fact, you'll hear my wife say: Oh that's stupid, because, really, it was not planned as an episode! I'll tell you, I was testing an app that does speech to text, and I wanted to see if it worked, so I started acting like a crazy conspiracy person talking about, uhh, Alexa. I can't say... if I say Alexa... you know they won't run this podcast on A-M-A-Z-O-N so, I have to be careful. Anyway, it was just a crazy thing, but then I thought it was funny, So I thought, OK this is funny, and then my wife said, “no” and she heard it and she said “oh, it's kind of cute” so I thought ahh, what the heck, right? Uh, well, you decide, OK? You listen, you decide, here we go! *** Okay, so you have an Alexa in your house and you don't care that it's listening to you all the time? No, I don't care. There's that I have no secrets that Alexa would be interested in. But your private life; you have a private life. What's a private life? The things you want to keep private? Well, and why would anybody care about my private life? Not that anybody would care, but do you want Amazon to know about your private life? What are they going to do with that information? Sell it to the Russians? I don't know. The Russians would also have no need for it. Oh, so you're not like a high level government employee. No, I'm not. But you're a voter, you're an American voter. I'm an American voter and if the Russians want to know I'm voting for Biden. I'm ridin' with Biden. They want to know because now they're gonna, like, interfere with your social and everything else and send you lots of misinformation because you're a Biden voter and they don't like that. Well, that may be true but I won't pay attention to their misinformation. Oh yes, you will, you'll be manipulated! Social media manipulates people they don't even know! Oh, that's true, that happens. So maybe you want to rethink your Amazon acceptance. No, why? We just said why! Because the Russians are gonna send me memes and stupid information that is not true and I know it's not? You don't know it's not true because you'll... I do know it's not true. How do you know? Tell our fellow Americans how to tell the difference between a fake meme and a real meme. Well, if you... you can just go to Snopes.com and fact check anything. Snopes. How do you know that's not run by, you know, by anti-conspiracy, pro-pedophile, you know, overthrow the government. anti-Trump forces. That's just all crazy stuff. Oh, you call it crazy, we call it reality! Some people do call it reality, you're right. But I don't... I don't associate with those people. Yeah but, Alexa will associate you with those people because she's got your voice recordings! No, she won't associate me with them, because I'm not with them. I don't believe in them. Okay, go ahead, I guess this is a lost cause. She does not care about protecting herself from manipulation. Thanks everybody for listening. [That's not gonna be a podcast, that would be so stupid.] (pause) I just want to see if it worked. There you go. So look at this now. Scroll up and look and see, is it accurate? (unintelligible) Still recording? Stop. Stop. Stop! Stop!!! What the hell, where's the stop button? This will be a good podcast now because I can't find the frickin' stop button. Alright, there's a stop button here somewhere. Where are... where are...come on. Come on, stop! That's not it. That's not it. Oh there it is okay. Boom! *** permalink: https://linktr.ee/unexpectedenglish

[EP61] In this episode I interview two guys a the local college about... well, just listen! Remember, Unexpected English brings you REAL English in short podcasts to help improve your listening while you have fun! Transcription included below!
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Hey everybody! Welcome to December 2020. Yeah, it's December of that god-awful year 2020. But the good news is it's episode 61 of Unexpected English, your favorite English podcast! And, guess what?  This episode is one of the reasons it became your favorite English podcast, because I know, like me, you enjoy the interviews. Because you hear real people, you hear different accents, and you don't know what's going to happen, and I found an interview from, oh a year ago or so that I had forgotten about. So I'm bringing it to you now, an interview with two students at a local college near me and, that’s it, I hope you enjoy it, and remember if you do enjoy it tell your friends so that everybody else can enjoy it too, all right? OK, here we go!
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All right so here we are at Mesa College, going to talk to a couple students. Are you guys both from San Diego? Yeah I've been born and raised. Born and raised, San Diego California. And what's the best part about living in San Diego? As cliché as it sounds, I want to say the culture of San Diego is probably my favorite part and just how diverse the entire community is. Umm, not to mention we have beautiful blue skies and sunshine every day. This is true, we do have good weather here, right? And the last time you left San Diego, where did you go? Umm, Seattle that's my favorite city in the world. Last time I left San Diego I went to Mexico. It was a lot of fun. Where, where in Mexico? I went to Tecate, Mexico I went there on a mission trip. Aha. And if you could go any place right now, I gave you, if I funded your vacation to go someplace, where would you go? Dude, send me to Italy! I want some of food, I want to wine, I want all that good stuff! Oh, OK, how about you?  I want to go to Japan really bad. I’m super into cars, and Japan has some of the best cars there. OK let me just ask you a little bit about Italy because most of my listeners are Italian so... yeah.. so.. what is it that is appealing about Italy to you? Umm, my parents are Italian so they talk a lot about how cool it was because they’ve been already and I've never been, but I hear that, like, the the culinary part of it is really nice and just the architecture is really beautiful and OK! Plus they have some really good music up there.. Beautiful, well OK, there you have it this is a spontaneous interview of two students here at Mesa College, thanks for your time guys! Yeah, thank you my man, appreciate it, have a great day!
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[EP 60] In this episode, I read just a little selection from a story by one of my favorite American short story writers!  His delightful story-telling and and language are WEIRD and FUNNY, so I hope you will enjoy it! If you do, please follow on Spotify and instagram, and tell your friends! 

P.S. Is it Barth-el- may, or BART-el-may, or even Barth-Elm? Who knows?? 

*** [TRANSCRIPTION OF READING]***
My wife wants a dog. She already has a baby. The baby's almost two. My wife says that the baby wants the dog. My wife has been wanting a dog for a long time. I've had to be the one to tell her that she couldn't have it. But now, the baby wants a dog my wife says. This may be true. The baby is very close to my wife, They go around together all the time, clutching each other tightly. I asked the baby “Whose girl are you? Whose girl are you? Are you daddy's girl?” The baby says, “Mama.” And she doesn't just say it once, she says it repeatedly: “mama mama mama.” I don't see why I should buy $100 dog for that damn baby.
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Our baby is a pretty fine, baby. I told my wife for many years that she couldn't have a baby because it was too expensive. But they wear you down, you know? They're just wonderful wearing you down, even if it takes years, as it did in this case. Now I hang around the baby and hug her every chance I get. Her name is Joanna. She wears Oshkosh overalls and says, no, bottle, out, and mama. She looks most lovable when she's wet. And when she's just had a bath and her blonde hair is all wet, and she’s wrapped in a beige towel. Sometimes when she's watching television, she forgets that you're there. You can just look at her. When she's watching television, she looks dumb. I like her better when she's wet.
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This dog thing is getting to be a big issue. I said to my wife: “Well, you've got the baby. Do we have to have the damn dog too?” The dog will probably bite somebody or get lost. I can see myself walking all over our subdivision asking people: “Have you seen this brown dog?” “What's his name?” they'll say to me, and I'll stare at them coldly and say, “Michael.” That's what she wants to call it: Michael. That's a silly name for a dog. And I'll have to go looking for this possibly rabid animal and say to people: “Have you seen this brown dog, Michael?” It's enough to make you think about divorce.
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I looked at some dogs at “Pets o’ plenty,” which has birds, rodents, reptiles and dogs, all in top condition. They showed me the Cairn Terriers. The Cairn terriers ran about $295 per, with their papers. I started ask if they had any illegitimate children at lower prices, but I could see that it would be useless. And the woman already didn't like me. I could tell.
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What is wrong with me? Why am I not a more natural person, like my wife wants me to be? I worry that the baby may jam a kitchen knife into the electrical outlet when she's wet. I put those little plastic plugs into all the electrical outlets, but she's learned how to pop them out. I checked the Crayolas. They made Crayolas safe to eat. I called the head office in Pennsylvania. She can eat a whole box of crayons and nothing will happen to her.
***
If I don't get the new tires for the car, I can buy the dog.

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[EP 59] I'm publishing this one day after the 2020 Presidential election. We don't have a president in the USA yet, so how about a VOCABULARY lesson? I'll talk at random about using SHOOT and SHOT is some expressions. I can't fit a transcription here, so you may need to pay attention, take notes, and listen to the podcast a few times! Some of the phrases you will hear:

To shoot a weapon, pistol shots
to shoot past to shoot a look, email, message
shoot a photo / photo shoot / nice shot (photo)
Shoot! (polite exclamation) to shoot / (sports)
Shoot - go ahead and ask me
shoot the breeze / bull s
shoot your mouth off
shoot yourself in the foot
to shoot for something, have as a goal to take a shot (attempt)
a shot in the dark
take your best shot
to shoot down, get shot down
shot - ruined, exhausted
Not mentioned: a shot - a small glass of alcohol, a medical injection
to shoot up - to fire many bullets, to inject drugs
to shoot pool - play billiards
There are probably others I can't think of, sorry!

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Thanks and keep listening and improving!

[EP 58]  Let's talk about the FUN of eating blazing chili peppers! Transcript below! Use the text to study and identify phrasal verbs and expressions, Unexpected English brings you fun ways to practice your English listening,  so be sure to subscribe!

[INTRO] Hi everybody, and welcome to another episode of Unexpected English, your favorite English podcast. Now, the other day I was reading the paper, l and I saw a story that seemed kind of interesting. And I thought, Hey! I could read this story on the podcast, why not? I'll tell you what it's about. It's a about a chili pepper eating contest. 🌶 Yeah, I don't know. I don't know why you would want to see how many chili peppers, you could stuff into your gut, but okay there it is, you know. There is such a thing as competitive eating, where people will try and see who could eat their most hotdogs. 🌭 I dunno, It's crazy. It's crazy. Anyway, this story is about eating red hot chili peppers, specifically, the infamous Carolina Reaper. So let's get right to the story! TRANSCRIPT:
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San Diego is experiencing a heat wave this week, and so are the taste buds of Greg Foster, who ate dozens of the world’s hottest chilis at a contest on Saturday. The local resident and Inferno Farms Hot Sauce Company founder was attempting to eat one hundred and twenty-three Carolina Reapers to take the top spot in the “League of Fire” among internationally ranked chili eaters. But after eating 44 chilis, grown locally on his farm, the 6-foot-5-inch tall Foster was brought down to his knees in a fit of expletives and tears before throwing in the towel — and throwing up the contents of his stomach in the privacy of a pop-up tent. Measured at 1.4 million to 2.2 million Scoville heat units — the scale used to measure chili pungency — Carolina Reapers are the world’s hottest pepper, according to Chili Pepper Madness. By comparison, a jalapeño only has 2,500 to 10,000 Scoville heat units, according to Colorado State University. That makes the mildest Carolina Reaper 140 times hotter than the spiciest jalapeño. 🥵 One of four judges asked to witness the event said “Eating a Carolina Reaper pepper is like eating mace or being pepper sprayed in the mouth…. And if you don’t wait long enough between bites, you might consume too much and end up having a very, very painful experience.” ““I’m really just doing it for fun, and trying to beat my own record,” Foster said. “And that’s what today was all about. It would have been nice to get more than I did, but it’s really more for entertainment.” Greg Foster said he routinely eats a pepper a day when they’re in season, replacing fresh peppers with hot sauces in January to August when fresh chilis aren’t as readily available. He ramps up his pepper eating the week before contests and eats bananas the morning of the contest to prepare. After his failed attempt (and subsequent upchuck) he chugged water and milk to make it easier to purge the peppers out, followed by more milk, water and ice cream. 🍦He said that cuts recovery time from days to 45 minutes. Although he fell short of his goal Saturday, Foster said listening to one’s stomach is vital. “I thought I had a good pace there, and your body just tells you differently. What I’ve learned throughout eating peppers like this is: don’t ignore what your body’s telling you.” [OUTRO] Love is a burning thing, and it makers a firey ring Bound by wild desire, I fell in to a ring of fire I fell in to a burning ring of fire! I went down down down, and the flames went higher. And it burns burns burns...the ring of fire...
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(EP 57) Got a few minutes? Let's talk SpaghettiO's! Unexpected English always brings you fun ways to practice your English listening, so subscribe and tell your friends! First, I  talk about this weird canned food. (Transcript help!) Next: A very very easy lesson: How to prepare SpaghettiO's (So easy! No transcript) Finally: A sweet story about how a town helped a little autistic girl get the only food she will eat: SpaghettiO's! (Transcript help!) All this and some of that famous SpaghettiO music! Listen, have fun, and subscribe! --------------------------- [INTRO] Hi everybody and welcome back to another episode of Unexpected English, your favorite English podcast! Now, this episode is *not* about your mom's spaghetti. Yeah, I know that was lead-in song. But it's not about your mom's spaghetti. It's about something else, called SpaghettiOs. Huh? SpaghettiOs, Yeah. Just listen. (Jingle) Okay, SpaghettiOs. You may be asking yourself, what the heck are spaghettiOs? You know, if you, if you ever saw them, you would have the same question, because it's something a little strange. spaghettiOs are a canned pasta in little circles, little O's. Yeah, it's a it's a kind of food. I think they say it's food, I'm not so sure. It was invented in 1965. SpaghettiOs, invented in 1965. And it is, as I say, a kind of round pasta in a tomato sauce that maybe is good for little kids to eat. I guess that's it. So, why a story about SpaghettiOs? Well, actually, I heard a real life report about spaghettios and it reminded me that they existed, and it reminded me of the famous advertising jingle. (Jingle) That's it. Oh-oh, SpaghettiOs. So I thought I would have a little bit of fun with that by giving you a little taste of the music, and then a very simple, “how to” for SpaghettiOs, I guess you could call it “how to SpaghettiO” And then in the end, the actual news report. And the news interview does have the transcript in the show notes. So meanwhile, you have this, you have a little SpaghettiOs, you have a how-to, and then the news, and I’ll be quiet and we’ll get going, so let’s go! --------------------------- HOW TO: (no transcript) --------------------------- [STORY] All right let's talk SpaghettiOs. OK first interview I've ever begun like that! This is Crystal McDonal. Crystal’s unlikely obsession with canned pasta began after the birth of her daughter Ashland. Ashland is autistic. And earlier this year she stopped eating food altogether with the sole exception of SpaghettiOs and meatballs. Teachers and therapists were working to expand her palate when the pandemic hit, clearing grocery store shelves of a lot more than just toilet paper. We couldn't find SpaghettiOs anywhere. It was like they were there one day and the next, they were gone! Wait, why was there a run on SpaghettiOs? I don't know if people thought, like, if the world ended, you could survive on SpaghettiOs. I just know that I was losing my mind trying to find them. And that's when the miracle happened. Like prepackaged manna from heaven, SpaghettiOs just started showing up. On her doorstep, in the mail. Hundreds of cans from people in the community who’d heard about Ashland in the local paper and wanted to help. If it wasn't for the kindness of people like that we would not have gotten by. SpaghettiOs is hardly a culinary cause célèbre. But in this home at least, every can is now fortified with faith in humanity. --------------------------- Enjoy the podcast? Subscribe and follow on Apple podcast, Spotify and everywhere! Follow on Instagram too! PLEASE tell anyone who might enjoy the podcast: all the links are here! --> linktr.ee/unexpectedenglish

(EP 56) Got Five minutes? Unexpected English always brings you fun ways to practice your English listening, so subscribe! Find us on Spotify, Apple, Instagram and everywhere! Season Five is coming soon, but for now just enjoy this musical finale.  You can even sing along, the lyrics are below!

SONG: (Yes, you can sing it too!!)
I won't vote Trump
No there's not a chance in hell
I will try to make a difference
Because this isn't going well
So don't waste your bad breath on me
I'd sooner cast my vote for Cardi B
I'll never vote Trump.
Never vote Trump! Never vote Trump!! Not me!
I won't vote Trump
I will jump through any hoops
And if someone tries to make me
I will throw a can of soup
If there's a chance that I could get this bloated Cheeto off my TV set
I'll never vote Trump! Never vote Trump! Never vote Trump!
Not me. (Not I) -- Girl, please
But he'll make the country (uh-huh)
Pence will take you on a date
No thank you!
What if they manipulate and make you not feel so inclined?
I've made up my mind!
I won't vote Trump. I won't vote Trump!
To the polls is where I'll drive
If I'm 18 years older
Because I’m over 45
So sorry I've offended you
But when it comes to voting, I work blue
I'll never vote Trump! Never vote Trump!
Never vote Trump! Not me!
I won't I won't Trump. I don't want another four
And if someone steals my mailbox
I will build 100 more
I won’t vote Trump
I will vote without delay
I will do what's necessary
Just to make you go away
And though I've made some past mistakes
There's one I won’t, no matter what it takes
I will never vote Trump! Never vote Trump! Never vote Trump!
Not me, not me not me, no girl!
Not me!!!
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All rights and honors for this song go to the amazing Randy Rainbow!
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(EP 55) Unexpected English brings you poetry? Forget the word "poetry!" In this episode, you will find simple sentences in simple, direct language: perfect for your English listening. Charles Bukowski was an American writer. He is famous for his writing, and he was famous for his drinking. That's the reason for the title. Don't judge, just listen. Even if you are an English learner, I think you will understand them and I hope you will enjoy them The poems are:

Poetry
Poem for my 43rd Birthday
My Cats
So You Want To Be A Writer
As The Poems Go

If you want the text of these poems,  just Google Bukowski + the name of the poem. If you want to know more about Bukowski, you can read about him here on Wikipedia.  He wrote thousands of poems, hundreds of short stories and six novels. You can also hear him reading some of his work here on YouTube
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