No Dice

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/xoxothepoet/

Humuhumunukunukuapua'a – 8/24/18

I am not afraid of flying

I am not afraid of living or dying

Breathing or being

I am...

I am afraid of thunderstorms in the dark

And being killed in my sleep

I am afraid

Of getting stopped by a cop

Every day

Of my life

I am afraid

Of crying in front of people

And in bathrooms

And really crying ever

I’m afraid of crippling anxiety

And pain that makes me wonder

If I’ll ever move again

I’m afraid that one day

One day I’ll never be a writer

I’m afraid

That I will fail at my dream of being

Someone

Anyone

That will matter to someone else

I am not afraid

Of jumping off of buildings

Probably

I am definitely not afraid of roller coasters

Although I used to be

I’m afraid of never being seen

Of the world

One day forgetting me

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/xoxothepoet/

Shirley Temple – 8/24/18

A is for animal crackers in my Alphabet Soup.

It also stands for:

All the letters cannot be used.

B is for...

Okay look...

B is for bad planning

Because there are 26 letters in the alphabet

And right now I’m only 25.

C is for counting

Because what happens when 27 creeps up on my shoulders?

It’s not 30, I can’t be 29 forever.

C is also for sheep.

The ones I never counted

When I walked back from one thousand to get to sleep.

D is for daddio.

Papa doe.

Daring. Dashing. And Dapper.

Wearing suits straight out of magazines

Making every other kid jealous that their dad wasn’t that cool...

Or annoying.

D is also for dynasty.

Or rather legacy.

Or more like ancestry.

And may I never forget where I came from.

E is for exhausted.

I’m five letters in

And if you’d like to see the exit

Follow the emergency lights at your feet.

F is for Finn.

Like a dolphin.

Shark’s fin.

Aodfin.

For being mine twice

And for so long after

I am always here

Sending you stuffies

Don’t forget to write

Or call

Put me on your speed dial

G is for Grace

Amazing Grace

Viola Grace

Grace with a C

My Gracie Lew Who

My gloriously gorgeous girlfriends

Who have shaped me more than they knew

H is for...

Hannah

And hell in a hand basket

For he who will never be mentioned

And Harry Potter

For my lack of fists fights

My plethora of harsh words

But my comfortable hugs after

I is for I

For me

For hello I’m queer and I’m here

And you’re not stopping me today

Oh no

Not today

I’m on my way

I’m Dr. Seuss at this rate

Give me a book deal I’m rolling

J is for Jade

Like the gemstone

My middle name

My bisyllabic middle beginning

The only thing ET could pronounce right at Disney World

My sparkling shining J

With its loops and curves and...

K is for Kimberly and Kent

My parents

My...

Tough love

Work hard

Get your shit done parents

Who split at age 10

And finalized it after 11

More years

They did what they planned really

And I don’t blame them

L is for love.

An unconditional lather of lavender soap bubbles from laughter

For Brooke with an E from Seattle

Blowing bubbles wands in traffic jams

And men picking fights

With a woman they wouldn’t have a chance with...

I mean against.

M is for...

Did you know in 2015 they said I could marry?

The queers cried happy tears that day.

N is for the n word

The negro

The night sky

Carrying us home

Follow the drinking gourd they say

Follow the drinking gourd.

O is for optimism

My forever the extroverted optimist outlook

Somehow hiding around the corners of my mind

Ostracizing itself from my overall outrageous outgoing state of be

P is for

Personally I will not get offended if you walk out those doors

But you’ve made it this far

I promise there’s only a little more

Q is for quilts

The ones etched in my memories

The ones I clutched so dearly

Crafted by my great grandmothers fingers

Her love sewn into each and every stitch

R is for rainbow

By Jessie J

For Radioactive

Relient K

OneRepublic

Lana del Ray

S is for Sister

10 years

10 months

1 day

14 hours

And 14 minutes

My sister

Older

Wiser

But I’m funnier

S is for the brother I gained

And the children I will always adore

S is also for my SDG

The one my heart first yearned for

Late night talks

And agreeing to disagree

90 percent of the time

T is for tyranny

For big heads

And little arms

Am I talking about people?

Or dinosaurs?

That’s up to U

For U.

For remember when chat speak was popular

And we didn’t use our ultimately untimely interruptions of

You’re and your.

Their there they’re, my friends.

It was once characteristic

Wut up?

U there?

I’ll brb my pos

Jk I’ll ttyl

There’s the dial tone

Ring ring ring

Guess who’s on the phone?

I hope y’all are old enough to remember

Euphorically engaging in chat logs with friends

Back when Dial Up was the only thing in your @ mentions

V.

Like violets

Geraniums

And the chrysanthemum I had tattooed on my back.

For vivacious and vivid

For verily merely dancing down sidewalks and side streets

W.

11:11

For when I whimsically wish for my wicked wretched weakness in my limbs to go away.

For everything to be okay.

But before you begin whining while your eyes are wilting

X.

Marks the spot.

Goonies never say die.

Treasure Planet

And Atlantis.

Y.

As in, I’ve lied. 25 is too damn close to 26 and I enjoy yearning for the end.

Z is for thank you.

For the zany adventure.

The black and white zebras.

The white and black zebras.

And everything read all over.

Now you know my ABCs. The ones that make up me. Let’s go again, shall we?

Geronimo and Allons-y.

Lachlan from The Ghoul Tank joins the No Dice crew as we swashbuckle our way through this hilarious pirate one-shot. Why did a rat win at beer pong? Why didn't the bats go to Bat Yale? Was the meaning of piracy friendship the whole time? Find out the answers to these questions and more in this fantastic adventure!

Listen to The Ghoul Tank - http://theghoultank.libsyn.com/

Follow The Ghoul Tank on Twitter - https://twitter.com/ghoul_tank

-No Dice Twitter: twitter.com/nodicepodcast

-No Dice Facebook: facebook.com/nodicepodcast

-No Dice Website: nodicepodcast.com

-No Dice Discord: bit.ly/nodicediscord

Music in this episode:
Land Of Pirates by Alexander Nakarada
Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4961-land-of-pirates
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Pirates Of The Quarantine by Alexander Nakarada Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/6030-pirates-of-the-quarantine
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Sitcom Rock Sting Mp3 by Alexander Nakarada
Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4951-sitcom-rock-sting-mp3
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Welcome back! Tonight you shall behold the second act of The Fantastick Adventures of the Magicke Assholles written by the Great Bard Athenio DeLys!

Written by Britty Lea and John S. Quinn-Puerta, based on actual gameplay conceived by Dungeon Master Daniel Bookhoop

It was edited by Britty Lea

Athenio DeLys was voiced by John S. Quinn-Puerta

Tazeleen as Gravelgax, was voiced by Zachary Shock

Sabrya, disguised as Myra was voiced by Christine Savage

Noelle was voiced by Emily Shock

Saoirse was voiced by Lucifer von Forrestington

Perry was voiced by Hue Newsworthy

Ixen was voiced by Britty Lea

Daveed and Casper were voiced by Daniel Bookhoop

Company voices were provided by Jessica Amber, Gwen Vetter, and Alex Pierce

Audience heckler was voiced by Michael Freitag

Tap sequence was performed by Nicole Faith

Original Music and Lyrics were written, performed, and edited by John S. Quinn-Puerta

Additional music provided by Michael Freitag

Sound effects were provided in part by Liz from Steamturtle Sounds

“Emotional” by Rafael Krux: https://filmmusic.io/song/5481-emotional- License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Welcome friends and foes! Tonight you shall behold the first act of The Fantastick Adventures of the Magicke Assholles written by the Great Bard Athenio DeLys!

Written by Britty Lea and John S. Quinn-Puerta, based on actual gameplay conceived by Dungeon Master Daniel Bookhoop.

It was edited by Britty Lea.

Athenio DeLys was voiced by John S. Quinn-Puerta

Chippetopolis was voiced by Lachlan McIver

Dylan was voiced by Ajay Melakayil

Farcan, as Gravelgax, was voiced by Thom Freitag

Noelle was voiced by Emily Shock

Saoirse was voiced by Lucifer von Forrestington

Perry was voiced by Hue Newsworthy

Ixen was voiced by Britty Lea

Daveed and Casper were voiced by Daniel Bookhoop

Company voices were provided by Jessica Amber and Gwen Vetter

Original Music and Lyrics were written, performed, and edited by John S. Quinn-Puerta, with Chris Deese on mandolin for the Battle in the Forest.

Sound effects were provided in part by Liz from Steamturtle Sounds

Special thanks to Chris Deese.

Watch out, this fight gets crispier than frying chicken with a flamethrower!

Music in this episode is:

“Dark Walk” by Kevin MacLeod

Music from https://filmmusic.io
License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

-No Dice Twitter: twitter.com/nodicepodcast

-No Dice Facebook: facebook.com/nodicepodcast

-No Dice Website: nodicepodcast.com

-No Dice Discord: bit.ly/nodicediscord

The Magic Assholes discover what the necromancers and the Lich Queen have been up to and it's nothing they could have been prepared for.

Sound design created by Liz with Steamturtle Sound

Music in this episode is:

“Horizon Flare” by Alexander Nakarada

“Terminal” by Kevin MacLeod

“Promising Relationship” by Kevin MacLeod’

“Loop Paket 0002” by Sascha Ende

Music from https://filmmusic.io
License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

-No Dice Twitter: twitter.com/nodicepodcast

-No Dice Facebook: facebook.com/nodicepodcast

-No Dice Website: nodicepodcast.com

-No Dice Discord: bit.ly/nodicediscord

The Magic Assholes find themselves back where they began, but somehow everything is different…

Sound design created by Liz with Steamturtle Sound

Music in this episode is:
”Heartbreaking” by Kevin MacLeod
”Depression” and “Loop Paket 0007” by Sascha Ende
Music from https://filmmusic.io
License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

-No Dice Twitter: twitter.com/nodicepodcast

-No Dice Facebook: facebook.com/nodicepodcast

-No Dice Website: nodicepodcast.com

-No Dice Discord: bit.ly/nodicediscord

Thank you so much for your patience as No Dice worked to get ourselves back onto your podcasting feeds! Since it's been a while, Britty and Daniel relistened to all 27 episodes of the main campaign so you don't have to. Whether you're a new listener or have been with us since episode one let us refresh your memory as we prepare to get back into monthly releases.

-No Dice Twitter: twitter.com/nodicepodcast

-No Dice Facebook: facebook.com/nodicepodcast

-No Dice Website: nodicepodcast.com

-No Dice Discord: bit.ly/nodicediscord

Intro/Outro is "Take a Chance" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) Music from https://filmmusic.io License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

These are the voyages of the PPN Show Swap. Their one episode mission, to play a new game (Lasers and Feelings), to right galactic injustices (capitalism bad y'all), to make alien friends, (we love spiders), and to boldly go where so many other podcasts have gone before.

.GM - John from Them’s the Facts and Home Viewing

.Quinton Avant played by Chris from Them’s the Facts

.Lady Driaxa played by Emily from STEAMpunks

.Duth-Wing played by Lachlan from The Ghoul Tank

.Music by Nine Inch Nails - 7 Ghosts 1, used under a Creative Commons BY-NC-SA license.

——

CNC Raptor Threat Computer Log:

Terra Prime Annum G2793, 0417

Classification: Top Secret, Accessible to Shareholders with 5% stake or higher.

Pre Action Report: Under orders from Consortium Command, the CNC Raptor docked with Netherfield Mining Station, in the Meryton Asteroid Belt of the Albion Quadrant, to oversee the transition of custodianship from local enterprises, under the service name Meryton United Holdings, to the Bingley Conglomerate. Representatives from both enterprises, BCS private security, miners’ unions, and the New Anglican Order were in attendance for the signing ceremony.

Initial Threat Evaluation: Low

Raptor Commanding Officer: Unknown.

Further information: Due to incapacitation of Captain Darcy in the med bay, and loss of the away team consisting of both first and second officers on Brighton 5, command structure was left in the hands of Dooth-Wing, Driaxa, and QuinTawn Avant, bridge officers. Projections showed a negligible impact on the profitability of the operation.

After Action Report

Threat Evaluation: High

Initial threat evaluation was inaccurate. This airor warrants further investigation into err-err-err[REDACTED].

Upon arrival, sabotage was discovered in the fire suppression system aboard the stuhstuhsta station.

After crew repaired the sabotage with ductile adhesive strips, a two stage bomb was disdisdiscovered at the opening ceremonynyny stage. After a firefight between Black Coal Solutions, led by Caroline Bingley, C O O of Bingley Conglomerate, and Raptor crew, ending in Consortium victory, explosive device with incendiary and quantum memory components was disabled with help from Charles Bingley, President and CEO of Bingley Congl uuuhhhh error----merate and Father Collins, agent of the New Anglican Order. Collins issued a warning to Specialist Avant regarding Lefttenant REDACTED.

Threat Level: Moderate to High

Sector Stability: Degrading

Profitability: Year Over Year

Projections: Falling

Computer Assessment: A New Commanding Officer is Required

Query: Is Lefttenant Wickham available for Assignment to the Consortium Naval Cruiser Raptor?

Command Response: Lefttenant Wickham has been reassigned from his position on REDACTED as the acting captain of the Consortium Naval Cruiser Raptor. His shuttle is en route to the Meryton Sector. He is under orders to carry out operation REDACTED.