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I'll Find Myself When I'm Dead

by Elena Passarello, Justin St. Germain

A podcast about the literary essay: what it is, why we like it, and which ones are our favorites. Co-hosted by Elena Passarello and Justin St. Germain, who are both creative nonfiction professors and acclaimed writers in the genre.

Copyright: 2020

Episodes

S4E2 - Jeoparello!

1h 46m · Published 17 Nov 14:00

This week we discuss the biggest news in the entire world since our last episode—Elena's appearance last week on Jeopardy!

Elena’s episode (until it gets taken down): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExlEesN4Sl8

Elena’s J-Archive.com contestant page: https://www.j-archive.com/showplayer.php?player_id=14301

“The Jeopardy! Essay” by Mike Garabedian: https://www.academia.edu/44462679/The_Jeopardy_Essay

A clip from Mike’s appearance on Jeopardy!: https://www.facebook.com/WhittierCollege/videos/how-smart-are-our-librarians-theyre-jeopardy-smart-heres-a-flashback-to-collecti/1056618957686460/

Elena’s Twitter thread about being on Jeopardy!: https://twitter.com/elenavox/status/1458131831308500993

River City News article re: wrong question: https://www.rcnky.com/articles/2021/11/10/jeopardy-contestant-fail-clue-about-roebling-bridge

S4E1 - Vanthony Bourdilmer

2h 3m · Published 03 Nov 13:00

In our Season 4 premiere, we discuss what we've been up to since last season, a reader email, Big People Fashion, AI voice prints, and the recent Anthony Bourdain & Val Kilmer documentaries. Also: Elena does her best Christopher Walken impression, and we tackle the eternal question: is Val Kilmer a good actor?

Links:

Roadrunner: https://www.amazon.com/Roadrunner-Film-About-Anthony-Bourdain/dp/B09BB55XXX

The Vanity Fair article on Bourdain and Argento: https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2021/07/anthony-bourdain-asia-argento-roadrunner

Helen Rosner's New Yorker piece: https://www.newyorker.com/culture/annals-of-gastronomy/the-ethics-of-a-deepfake-anthony-bourdain-voice

Val: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt14731254/

S3E10 - Nonfiction Theater

2h 7m · Published 06 Jul 19:56

In our season 3 finale, we discuss documentary/nonfiction theater. Elena explains the subgenre, and David joins us to discuss “The Laramie Project,” a nonfiction play. Also: a stapler anthology update, a stapler anthology cocktail, some true crime talk, a theater-themed lightning round, our worst performances, and more! Thanks for listening, and we’ll see you next season.

“The Laramie Project,” full text: http://www.harringtonartsalliance.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/The-Laramie-Project-Script.pdf

S3E9 - Having and Being Hot

1h 58m · Published 28 Jun 19:30

This week, we’re re-recording the lost episode from two weeks ago, about Eula Biss’ 2020 book Having and Being Had. We discuss its main topics—capitalism and class—as well as whether it’s a book-length essay and why or why not. Also: other books we’re reading, a creaky chair, the hottest day in Oregon history, how much money we’d cut our thumbs off for, and more!

Links: The upcoming (7/5) Essay Daily Salon with Justin and Jana Larson: http://www.essaydaily.org/p/the-essay-daily-salon-series.html

Jana’s book, Reel Bay: https://coffeehousepress.org/products/reel-bay-a-cinematic-essay

Stacey Swann’s novel, Olympus, TX: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/608671/olympus-texas-by-stacey-swann/

Ottessa Moshfegh, My Year of Rest & Relaxation: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/561517/my-year-of-rest-and-relaxation-by-ottessa-moshfegh/

S3E8 - Essays About Sex (w/Dave Madden)

1h 52m · Published 21 Jun 18:44

This week, our special guest, longtime friend, and fellow nonfiction professor Dave Madden joins us to discuss two essays about fucking: Samuel Delaney’s “Ash Wednesday,” and Kristen Dombek’s “Letter from Williamsburg.” Also: Father’s Day presents, workshop models, a debate about sentences, Sizzler essays, and more!

Links:

Dave’s website: https://www.davemadden.org

Dave’s web designer, Beth Sullivan: https://bethsullivan.com

Samuel Delaney’s “Ash Wednesday”: http://bostonreview.net/arts-society/samuel-r-delany-ash-wednesday

Kristin Dombek’s “Letter from Williamsburg” (subscription required for full essay): https://www.theparisreview.org/letters-essays/6236/letter-from-williamsburg-kristin-dombek

The audio version of “Letter from Williamsburg”: https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2013/07/26/kristin-dombeks-letter-from-williamsburg/

S3E7 - IFMWID Rewind: I'm Your Huckleberry

1h 33m · Published 14 Jun 18:43

Our episode for this week failed to record (thanks, Zoom!), so we're going back to the archives. More than a year ago, back when the pandemic was still young, we recorded an episode about Val Kilmer's memoir I'm Your Huckleberry. It has the fewest downloads of any of our episodes, for some mysterious reason, so we decided to dig it out and re-post it to hold you over until we can get our shit together and finish Season 3. Also: other parts of the Kilmer corpus, including his poetry, art, and music; the movie Tombstone and related trivia; David's Old Western cocktail; Frank Stallone; fake memoirs; and much, much more.

S3E6 - One Long Episode About Thirty Two Short Films About Glenn Gould

1h 49m · Published 07 Jun 13:10

This week, we discuss the 1993 Canadian/French Canadian film “Thirty Two Short Films About Glenn Gould,” which we think is essayistic in many ways. Also: breath mints found in orifices, the thesis circle of life, writing too-long essays, apocalyptic media, Hamlet 2, “Canadian stakes,” lyric vs. narrative, accessibility,Graham Gano, and more!

Links: The full movie on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iv7nPiZHKy4

Gould’s radio documentary “The Idea of North”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szgnGV4hOKU

Justin’s essay from Territory: http://themapisnot.com/issue-iii-justin-st-germain

S3E5 - Interviews with Essayists

2h 1m · Published 01 Jun 19:49

In this week's episode, we discuss two "The Art of ..." interviews from the Paris Review: one on the essay with Hilton Als, and another with Geoff Dyer about nonfiction in general. Also: our mutual love of Mrs. Dalloway, Elena’s study abroad experience, our rocky resumption of vaccinated socializing, Val Kilmer has a documentary, a couple of weird bird stories, one sad cat story, a lightning round about celebrities, lots of interviewing talk, and more!

Links:

“The Art of the Essay” with Hilton Als (subscription required): https://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/7178/the-art-of-the-essay-no-3-hilton-als

“The Art of Nonfiction” with Geoff Dyer (same): https://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/6282/the-art-of-nonfiction-no-6-geoff-dyer

S3E4 - Old Person Essays

1h 51m · Published 24 May 19:25

In this week's episode, we're talking about our generations. After Justin's mini-generation was dubbed Geriatric Millennials, we decided to read two examples from Donald Hall's book Essays After Eighty. Also: a Uhaul story, teaching 9/11 essays to Gen Z, a little baseball talk about the "yips," times we biffed it in public, an old-themed lightning round, and lots & lots of old-person complaining about the kids these days.

Essays After Eighty: https://bookshop.org/books/essays-after-eighty/9780544570313

“Out the Window” isn’t available in full online, but here’s a brief excerpt from the New Yorker: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2012/01/23/out-the-window

“Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr.” (account required): https://www.narrativemagazine.com/issues/stories-week-2014-2015/story-week/dr-dr-dr-dr-dr-dr-dr-dr-dr-dr-donald-hall A Fresh Air interview with Hall about “Out the Window”: https://freshairarchive.org/segments/donald-hall-poets-view-out-window

Rick Ankiel getting the yips: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDZX525CSvw

S3E3 - Texas Review All-Essay Issue

1h 24m · Published 17 May 18:56

This week, we discuss the Texas Review's All-Essay Issue from late 2020, including two specific essays by Wendy C. Ortiz and Vincent James. Also: a virgin fake-gin cocktail, Godzilla vs. Kong, terrible jobs we've had, times we've gotten fired, an alarming amount of Will Smith content, and more!

Links:

Texas Review All-Essay Issue: http://www.thetexasreview.org/issues/

Seedlip non-alcoholic gin: https://www.seedlipdrinks.com/en-us/shop/?gclid=CjwKCAjwqIiFBhAHEiwANg9szlLXeKgBYIgMBhVevVOy1k5ZvO7TBpKnn4q-54ihA48uesXAxa7L5hoCMlYQAvD_BwE

Godzilla vs. Kong: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5034838/

Will Smith's 5-minute story on becoming the Fresh Prince: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_WoOYybCro

I'll Find Myself When I'm Dead has 51 episodes in total of explicit content. Total playtime is 76:38:23. The language of the podcast is English. This podcast has been added on August 8th 2022. It might contain more episodes than the ones shown here. It was last updated on April 5th, 2024 12:14.

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