The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck Podcast

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We all overestimate how much you have to do to actually be happy.

But what if I told you that achieving happiness is much simpler than you think? That’s right, the smallest lifestyle changes can have the most unexpected knock-on effects towards positive change. It’s actually quite incredible once you experience it.

In today’s episode of the pod, we delve into the 3 of the most important questions that you can ask yourself in determining your own levels of happiness. These are questions worth asking.

Make me happy by liking and reviewing the episode. Make someone else happy by sharing it with them.

What do you do when trying to improve your life makes you feel worse? What if trying to be better comes across as ‘try-hard’? What if setting more goals is just your way of avoiding your own bullshit?

This is the topic of discussion in today’s episode, “The Self-Improvement Paradox”—or in other words, why sometimes trying to be better makes you feel worse. It turns out improving yourself is nuanced and complicated.

Who would have thought?

Check it out.

Imagine if you could sit down with one of the world’s leading happiness researchers and ask her, one by one, what actually makes people happier and what doesn’t?

Well, that’s basically what I did.

In this episode, Sonja and I get deep into the subject of happiness. One by one, we conclude which of life’s simple and not-so-simple pleasures are underrated or overrated. Some of the answers will definitely surprise you.

Do yourself a favor—watch, like, and share the happiness.

Get started with BetterHelp today and receive 10% off your first month when you use my link https://betterhelp.com/idgaf If you’ve ever been stuck working some BS desk job thinking there’s got to be more to life, then you were right. There’s travel. High-quality, intentional travel is one of the most transformational experiences a person can have. Without a doubt, my 10 years living abroad made me more confident, more self-assured, and ultimately more educated about the world and the people in it. It also informed a lot of the philosophy that I've written about over the past 10 years—the counterintuitive approach that so many people have come to love. This episode dives into the key takeaways I got from my years of traveling. I can’t be sure, but I think they might inspire you as much as they have me. Enjoy.

People are becoming increasingly lonely and are unable to relate to one another. Yet we have more access to more people than ever before. What's going on? Is it technology? Is social media replacing our sense of community with the empty calories of the sweet, sweet For You feed? Or maybe it’s the deterioration of the nuclear family — fewer kids are being born and being raised by fewer parents. Or is it the lack of religion in public life? Or the geographic exodus from small towns and communities towards big anonymous cities? Or the economic inequality and complete loss of work/life balance? These are questions that I, and renowned journalist and author David Brooks, unpack together as we nose dive into the social and emotional disconnect of millions of people. Need lessons on how to talk to the barista making your coffee? Looking to build a better relationship with Gary from across the fence? This episode won’t make you a master of communication overnight, but it’s a fascinating conversation packed with useful insight from beginning to end. Listen to it.

0:00 Introduction 2:46 Why we’re in a social crisis 5:55 The harsh judgment of social media 8:06 The growth of distrust 10:57 The decline of the traditional family 15:14 On communitarian cultures 16:24 Making America more “relationalist” 18:19 The Scandinavian and Israeli success 20:33 Is this success replicable in a diverse society? 23:32 The vice of today’s generation 29:19 David’s take on politics 32:11 Mark on the evolution of self-help 33:57 The recession of religion 38:33 Friction is the point 39:46 The “second mountain” 46:42 What we’re really motivated by 49:55 Can we go straight to the “second mountain”? David Brooks is a journalist and bestselling author of seven books, including his newest, “How to Know a Person.” David has had a popular column at the *New York Times* for over 20 years and teaches courses on philosophy at Yale. David Brooks on Twitter @nytdavidbrooks: https://twitter.com/nytdavidbrooks David Brooks’ column: https://www.nytimes.com/column/david-brooks David's new book “How to Know a Person:” https://www.amazon.com/How-Know-Person-Seeing-Others/dp/059323006X

It’s 2024 and hopefully you haven’t already given up on your goals for the year.

Today, we’re going to talk about the best and worst ways to set goals. We’ll talk about the factors that make you more likely to achieve your goals, why you lose motivation by week three, and the most common error everyone makes when deciding to change themselves for the better. We’ll also be sharing some of our personal goal disasters along the way to learn what not to do.

We’d also like you to share your goals with us! Details on how to do that are here.

Happy New Year.

It’s easy to assume that the hustle culture or “the grind” is all about pain and suffering. But as you’ll learn today, this simply isn’t true.

In today’s episode, I’m talking to Ali Abdaal, a former medical doctor turned YouTuber and author of the new book, Feel-Good Productivity. Ali has attracted millions of global followers to his ideas on productivity and working because he’s managed to do what others have not: actually make it fun. It turns out that finding ways to make your work fun doesn’t just make you hate your life less, it actually makes you more productive.

Do you worry that you might be wasting your life? That you’re doing things that don’t feel important? Are you constantly anxious about your to-do list?

Is your mind blown that it’s 2024 already?!?

This week, I’ve enlisted the help of my friend Oliver Burkeman, author of the bestseller Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, to help us get a handle on using time wisely.

In this episode, we’re going to look at how our perception of time shapes our self-image, how it’s often advantageous to choose to be bad at something, why people-pleasing doesn’t actually please people, and a whole lot more.

Oliver Burkeman is a renowned journalist and author, known for his unique ability to seamlessly blend philosophy and psychology to bring a fresh and counterintuitive take to classic self-help subjects.

Some of the most important truths in life are found in paradoxes. Paradoxes seem like opposites on the surface, but once you look deeper beneath what are seeming contradictions, there are real grains of wisdom that emerge.

In this episode, I cover some of the most life-changing paradoxes I’ve ever come across, and discuss how they can improve how you approach your life.

In 2021, Matt from Yes Theory, one of YouTube's biggest channels, revealed he was quitting the platform. Despite being an internet celebrity, Matt's story is a common one—about someone who gave away too much of themselves to be liked by others, and now desperately trying to get themselves back. In this episode, Matt and I unpack this familiar dilemma, as well as covering topics like codependence, managing success, dealing with parasocial relationships, determining when vulnerability goes too far, and much more.