Inner Work with Steli Efti

Rather than feeling present and peaceful, I felt fragmented and frustrated in recent weeks. My nights were filled with uneasy sleep and weird dreams. And in the course of the days, I struggled with confounding urges: When I worked, I wanted to take a break. When I took a break, my mind kept thinking about work. And the same was true for other areas of life: For much of my day, I was doing one thing, while some part of me felt compelled to do something else. And just recently was I able to make sense of all this.

Shownotes:https://steliefti.com/ep159

Connect with me:

https://steliefti.com

https://twitter.com/steli

https://www.linkedin.com/in/steliefti/

Rather than feeling present and peaceful, I felt fragmented and frustrated in recent weeks. My nights were filled with uneasy sleep and weird dreams. And in the course of the days, I struggled with confounding urges: When I worked, I wanted to take a break. When I took a break, my mind kept thinking about work. And the same was true for other areas of life: For much of my day, I was doing one thing, while some part of me felt compelled to do something else. And just recently was I able to make sense of all this.

Shownotes:https://steliefti.com/ep159

Connect with me:

https://steliefti.com

https://twitter.com/steli

https://www.linkedin.com/in/steliefti/

I recently finished listening through about a hundred mini recordings from my week in total darkness, which was a very intense experience to relive. While reflecting on my dark retreat and the time since then, I’ve realized it’s been a very challenging and intense 3 months for me post-darkness. I also didn’t anticipate how different coming out of this experience would be compared to other types of retreats I’ve done. I’ve been in such a sprint for the last 3 months that I’m still digesting many of the insights and lessons I uncovered while in darkness, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it takes me close to a year to truly internalize this experience.

Shownotes:https://steliefti.com/ep158

Connect with me:

https://steliefti.com

https://twitter.com/steli

https://www.linkedin.com/in/steliefti/

I recently finished listening through about a hundred mini recordings from my week in total darkness, which was a very intense experience to relive. While reflecting on my dark retreat and the time since then, I’ve realized it’s been a very challenging and intense 3 months for me post-darkness. I also didn’t anticipate how different coming out of this experience would be compared to other types of retreats I’ve done. I’ve been in such a sprint for the last 3 months that I’m still digesting many of the insights and lessons I uncovered while in darkness, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it takes me close to a year to truly internalize this experience.

Shownotes:https://steliefti.com/ep158

Connect with me:

https://steliefti.com

https://twitter.com/steli

https://www.linkedin.com/in/steliefti/

This topic is something we’ve touched on previously but it’s a theme that keeps popping up for me. It’s the notion of “you are not above this”. I keep finding myself in situations where a thought or feeling arises that I’m not comfortable with and my first instinct is to reject it. I think to myself, I’m above this, I’ve evolved beyond this feeling or action.

It’s human nature to reject the parts of ourselves we aren’t comfortable with. But this only further distorts our own self image. We have to acknowledge that if we’re having this feeling, then it’s our current truth and we have to claim it as our own. It may not be who we strive to be, but it’s still a part of who we are whether we like it or not.

Shownotes:https://steliefti.com/ep157

Connect with me:

https://steliefti.com

https://twitter.com/steli

https://www.linkedin.com/in/steliefti/

This topic is something we’ve touched on previously but it’s a theme that keeps popping up for me. It’s the notion of “you are not above this”. I keep finding myself in situations where a thought or feeling arises that I’m not comfortable with and my first instinct is to reject it. I think to myself, I’m above this, I’ve evolved beyond this feeling or action.

It’s human nature to reject the parts of ourselves we aren’t comfortable with. But this only further distorts our own self image. We have to acknowledge that if we’re having this feeling, then it’s our current truth and we have to claim it as our own. It may not be who we strive to be, but it’s still a part of who we are whether we like it or not.

Shownotes:https://steliefti.com/ep157

Connect with me:

https://steliefti.com

https://twitter.com/steli

https://www.linkedin.com/in/steliefti/

We all know life is full of ups and downs, yet it’s so easy for us to get frustrated and torture ourselves when the pendulum of life suddenly swings from blissed out harmony to chaos and struggle. We must remember that life is a wheel that keeps spinning. These moments and feelings, both good and bad,aren’t constant. The sooner we can fully understand and internalize this, the easier it gets to just ride the waves and enjoy the journey.

Shownotes:https://steliefti.com/ep156

Connect with me:

https://steliefti.com

https://twitter.com/steli

https://www.linkedin.com/in/steliefti/

We all know life is full of ups and downs, yet it’s so easy for us to get frustrated and torture ourselves when the pendulum of life suddenly swings from blissed out harmony to chaos and struggle. We must remember that life is a wheel that keeps spinning. These moments and feelings, both good and bad,aren’t constant. The sooner we can fully understand and internalize this, the easier it gets to just ride the waves and enjoy the journey.

Shownotes:https://steliefti.com/ep156

Connect with me:

https://steliefti.com

https://twitter.com/steli

https://www.linkedin.com/in/steliefti/

Great joy overcame me one day before the end of my dark retreat: I was about to go back into the world. Tomorrow I would see my children, embrace them, give them all my love, and receive theirs. An almost ecstatic bliss enveloped me, and I wanted to cherish this state as much as possible. But then another realization dawned on me: blissing out on anticipation would cost me everything the present moment would have to offer, all the lessons that were still waiting for me in the dark.

This episode is a short audio diary I recorded during my dark retreat in March of 2022.

Check out my weekly newsletter:https://steli.substack.com/

Connect with me:

https://twitter.com/steli

https://www.linkedin.com/in/steliefti/

Great joy overcame me one day before the end of my dark retreat: I was about to go back into the world. Tomorrow I would see my children, embrace them, give them all my love, and receive theirs. An almost ecstatic bliss enveloped me, and I wanted to cherish this state as much as possible. But then another realization dawned on me: blissing out on anticipation would cost me everything the present moment would have to offer, all the lessons that were still waiting for me in the dark.

This episode is a short audio diary I recorded during my dark retreat in March of 2022.

Check out my weekly newsletter:https://steli.substack.com/

Connect with me:

https://twitter.com/steli

https://www.linkedin.com/in/steliefti/