This Grit and Grace Life

In this episode, we're talking about sex! There's a lot of talk about sex in our culture today—in fact, nearly every part of our day-to-day experience is saturated with it. But are there biblical guidelines for sex? How can Christians, or women of faith, view or take part in sex, especially as it pertains to our relationships and dating? Author and blogger Kat Harris specializes in this conversation. She joins Darlene and Julie this week to address the long-held notion that sexuality is sinful. She shares what the Bible has to say about sex, intimacy, love and pleasure outside of just procreation. Kat will tell you that sex isn't bad; it's actually part of God's careful attention to detail and His desire for us to live abundantly. If your understanding of sex includes purity culture and the idea that our bodies are inherently bad for craving physical connection, we encourage you to take a listen to this different, insightful perspective. Kat Harris is the host of The Refined Collective Podcast, and co-founder of the online publication The Refined Woman. Her first book, Sexless in the City, came out last year. In addition to being a full-time photographer, she coaches and equips women all over the world in dating, relationships, singleness, sexuality, faith and how to build a renewed and healthy biblical sexual ethic rooted in freedom, truth and grace. Kat loves God, personal development, a good Beyoncé dance party, and is a ranch dressing connoisseur. You can find Kat on Instagram @therefinedwoman and on her website therefinedwoman.com. Quote of the episode: “What I think is so beautiful about sex is it has the capacity to be this physical manifestation of this mind-body-soul-spirit commitment, connection, and relationship." —Kat Harris Resources —Grab a copy of Kat's book, Sexless in the City Kat's recommended reads: —The Great Sex Rescue by Sheila Wray Gregoire —Girls & Sex by Peggy Orenstein —Boys & Sex by Peggy Orenstein —Redeeming Sex by Debra Hirsch Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

Nobody says motherhood is easy—sometimes it can be downright challenging. And when those moments pop-up, your first reaction may be anger, which is normal. But destructive anger and burnout in motherhood? Not normal, and not healthy. Certified professional life coach Natalie Hixson joins Darlene Brock and Julie Bender this week to discuss how moms who are dealing with chronic anger and burnout can seek healthier means of expression and actually enjoy their motherhood journeys. Several years ago, when screaming and slamming doors didn’t stop her toddler's tantrums, Natalie brought her daughter to a therapist. It was there she realized that the problem was with her, not her child. In this episode, Natalie identifies common triggers for moms; healthy emotions and how to process them; and practical steps to prevent an angry reaction, or reset if it happens. If you resort to patterns of destructive anger often while raising your kids, this episode will help you get back on track! Natalie Hixson is a wife, mother, auntie, and certified professional life coach who helps discouraged Christian moms overcome destructive anger and burnout. After learning to thrive in motherhood and process anger in a healthy way, Natalie became convicted to help other moms avoid those dark years by helping them to process their anger, identify their triggers, and ultimately control their reaction to triggering situations.  She enjoys her own motherhood journey by hanging with her husband Mike and their three daughters in Bozeman, Montana. She recharges with Jesus, coffee, and adventures with her family like skiing in the winter and hiking in the summer! You can find Natalie at her website, nataliehixson.com. Quote of the episode: “You're not a bad person for being angry." Natalie Hixson Resources —Find Natalie's Trigger Tracker here Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

Psychology Today estimates that we make 35,000 decisions per day. That means from the moment we wake up to the moment we crawl back into bed, we're constantly assessing and weighing out thousand of choices to see which ones are most beneficial. This week, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender review the steps you need to make decisions you won't regret, and how to abstain from judging others for the decisions they make in their own lives. Whether you're debating your options in a relationship, in appearances, in your career, or any other area of life, the decisions you make—big or small—hold weight. If you need a little push to get out of limbo and finally make that call, you'll want to tune into this episode. Quote of the episode: “At the end of the day, you do have to trust your gut over the opinion of somebody else.” —Julie Bender Resources —Revisit our podcast episode on judgment: Women and Judgment: Why We Do It and How to Stop – 057 Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

As this week's podcast guest, Brooke Raybould, says, freedom is "a loaded word." Especially with the recent rise in debate over constitutional rights in the U.S., the meaning of freedom can get muddy. So what exactly does it mean for us, and furthermore, how can we correctly relay what it means to our kids? Brooke, who is also the face behind the beloved The Southernish Mama blog, is surrounded by the hustle and bustle of government more than many of us: Her and her family live in D.C. and her husband worked in the U.S. Congress. She joins Darlene Brock and Julie Bender to talk about her new children's book, The American Dream of Braven Young, and what responsibilities we have where freedom is involved. Hint: It’s bigger than you may think! Brooke Raybould is a social media influencer, entrepreneur, and leading voice amongst mothers. She is best known for her Instagram platform, “The Southernish Mama,” where she shares relatable, inspiring content that empowers millions of women to achieve their best self. She holds a degree in business from the University of Southern California and her master's in business from Georgetown University. Brooke currently resides outside of Washington, D.C. with her four boys and husband, Ryan, who has worked as a federal prosecutor, Assistant U.S. Attorney and in the United States Congress. His involvement has inspired their family in many ways, including the pages of The American Dream of Braven Young. You can follow Brooke on Instagram @brookeraybould, and on her blog, The Southernish Mama. Quote of the episode: “Freedom is a responsibility to do what is right." —Brooke Raybould Resources —Grab your copy of Brooke's book here: The American Dream of Braven Young Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

Marriages aren’t immune from hardships and tribulations. What makes them hard to work through is that these hurdles are usually unexpected. The news that her husband had been unfaithful to her for more than two years due to an inner battle with pornography addiction was enough to make author and speaker Cindy Beall want to walk away. What stopped her? Her husband’s genuine regret, humility, and desire to make things right. On this week’s podcast, Cindy sits down with Darlene Brock and Julie Bender to share  the steps she took to rebuild trust with her husband. For women in similar situations, Cindy also offers insight on where to find support and how to discern what questions will help or hinder your healing. Cindy Beall is a speaker, mentor, and the author of Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken. Cindy and her husband, Chris, walked through infidelity and found healing through Christ. Today they minister at Life.Church in Oklahoma. Cindy also serves on the Leading and Loving It team that ministers to pastors’ wives and women in ministry. You can follow Cindy on Facebook @cindybeall, on Instagram @cindybeall and on her website, cindybeall.com. Quote of the episode: “Where do you sense God’s peace the most? Sometimes it’s in walking away, whether forever or for a season.” —Cindy Beall Resources —Grab a copy of Cindy's book, Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken: Finding Forgiveness and Restoration Related articles —Finding Grit and Grace Through My Husband’s Infidelity —How My Husband and I Survived My Affair Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

Your world just turned upside down. What do you do? Marlys Johnson Lawry has been there. Her and her first husband, Gary, were not only partners in life but in servitude to their community. Gary’s cancer diagnosis came on the heels of unemployment and financial strain—and for Marlys, an overwhelming sense of stress and uncertainty.  She joins Darlene and Julie on this week’s podcast episode to share details of her rollercoaster ride through dating as a widow, and more importantly, the coping skills that helped her press on through the unexpected life changes and find hope and happiness again.  Marlys Johnson Lawry is a speaker, award-winning writer, and a big fan of Chai lattes. She loves getting outdoors, and would rather lace up hiking boots than go shopping. Marlys has a passion for encouraging people to live well in the hard and holy moments of life, with hearts wide open. You can follow Marlys on Facebook @marlys.johnson.10 and on her website, renewrepurpose.com. Quote of the episode: “How do you want your remaining days to unfold and make a difference?” —Marlys Johnson Resources —Read Marlys' article on dating red flags: Are You Settling for a Red Flag Guy? —Read Marlys' article on how she met her husband: This Is Why You Can’t Rely on Looks in a Relationship Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

No mother-daughter relationship is perfect, but some are more difficult than others. In this episode, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender sit down to share the distinct challenges they each had with their moms growing up. They open up about how the dysfunctional dynamic impacted their own motherhood duties and what they chose to do differently with their own children.  Through each of their stories, you’ll glean advice on what to do (and not do) in your relationship with your child, how you can begin the process of mending a fractured mother-daughter relationship, and get the confidence you need to be the mother yours wasn't. Quote of the episode: “There’s nothing better than a mom who’s already traversed the road that you’re on.” —Darlene Brock Resources: Podcasts —Watch Dr. Zoe's recent episode on not-so-happy Mother's Days (Darlene is a guest!): When Mother’s Day Isn’t So Happy—Navigating a Difficult Relationship With Your Mother —Revisit an earlier episode on mother-daughter relationships: Mama Drama Every Woman Has and How to Overcome – 008 —Darlene and Julie dish out more on the difficult relationships they had with their moms: This Is How to Handle a Hard Relationship With Your Mom – 089 Books —Get a copy of Darlene's book, Raising Great Girls Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

In this episode of This Grit and Grace Life, we revisit an important conversation with Dr. Holly Miller on women’s health, including issues you need to know but are probably too embarrassed to ask about. Dr. Miller is a board certified OB-GYN, wife of 20+ years, mother of four, and dedicated to ensuring you know everything you need to know about your feminine health. This episode is filled with questions that women tend to run from… When do we see a gynecologist? Why do we see gynecologists? Do we have to see a gynecologist? And the biggest question, why are we terrified of seeing a gynecologist? It’s our goal with this episode to emphasize that your feminine health is extremely important, and you need to stop putting it on the back burner. Whether you’re busy or scared something is wrong and you don't want to face it, you need to go see a gynecologist. It’s that simple! Neglecting your health is no way to handle potential issues you may be facing. We know after listening, you’ll feel comfortable and confident scheduling your next appointment! What else you’ll learn: When a teenager should see a gynecologist When you should have your first pap smear How regularly you should have a pap smear and pelvic exams How to feel comfortable when seeing your gynecologist Important information you need to share with your gynecologist What a “normal cycle” should look like Symptoms you need to look out for throughout our womanhood Common issues you need to know are not normal When you need to begin getting regular mammograms The top things Dr. Miller wants you to know about your feminine health Why you never need to feel embarrassed! Dr. Holly Miller completed medical school at Loyola University Stritch School of Medicine and a residency in Obstetrics and Gynecology at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago. She’s currently an OB-GYN physician in Florida. Outside of the office, Dr. Miller enjoys reading, running and spending time with her husband and four children. Find more from Dr. Miller by visiting her practice website here. Quote of the episode: “It's extremely important that women of all ages have a relationship with a doctor, specifically a gynecologist." —Dr. Holly Miller Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

Most people are unaware of the statistic that 1 in 3 women globally have experienced sexual assault.¹ This week’s guest, sadly, was one of those victims at the tender age of 14.  Caroline Beidler joins Darlene Brock and Julie Bender this week to recount some of the early challenges she faced, including a diminished sense of self-worth, a lack of boundaries and a spiral into substance abuse. Now 11 years sober and a passionate recovery advocate, Caroline shares how we can extend grace to those struggling with addiction, and what signs moms should look out for that may indicate their teenager is struggling with a deeper issue. This topic is difficult, but one that is absolutely necessary to help those stuck in the cycle of addiction or substance abuse to feel understood and take the first steps toward recovery. Caroline Beidler, MSW is an author, recovery advocate and founder of the storytelling platform Bright Story Shine where she has released several eBooks including 10 Practical Ways to Make Your Recovery Shine.  With almost 20 years in leadership within social work and ministry, she leads Creative Consultation Services, LLC., a business focused on creating sustainable addiction recovery support services. She is also a Research Collaborator with the Lyda Hill Institute on Human Resilience at the University of Colorado, Colorado Springs and a team writer for Grit and Grace Life and blogger at the global recovery platform In the Rooms.  Caroline lives in Tennessee with her husband and twins where she enjoys hiking in the mountains and building up her community’s local recovery ministry. You can follow Caroline on Instagram @carolinebeidler_official, on Facebook @carolinebeidlermsw, and on her websites, brightstoryshine.com and carolinebeidler.com. Quote of the episode: “When we open up and share our dark places and our secrets, something absolutely miraculous happens." —Caroline Beidler Resources: — Read Caroline's article, This Is What I Would Say to the Man Who Raped Me — Click here to read Caroline's other articles on Grit and Grace Life — For recovery resources and stories for women, visit Caroline's community platform, Bright Story Shine — If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, Google "recovery community organizations" in your area Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

Studies have proven that we’re more productive, live longer, and laugh more when we spend time with others. It only makes sense, then, that our relationships are significant to our existence—and that the most important purpose we can have is pouring into the lives of others. On this week’s podcast, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender discuss how to do just that. They lay out a framework for how to show unconditional love to friends and family that have made both small and serious mistakes; they share stories of the women who invested in them and changed the trajectory of their lives; and they encourage us step into the lives of others to show support, remind them of their worth, or even to have that hard conversation. Knowing that your purpose revolves around the investment you make in others’ lives can feel like a heavy burden, but it’s an opportunity rather than a responsibility. To know that we can be the person who believes the best in someone else—and to have someone be the same for us—is life changing. Quote of the episode: “The purpose of human life is to serve, and to show compassion and the will to help others." —Albert Schweitzer Resources: —Read Darlene's article about her aunt, who had a significant impact on her life: True Purpose Is Found in How We Care for Others —Listen to Julie's Praying for Your Husband Daily message, "Believing the Best in Him" Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife