Wire Talk with Karen Stubbs

In today’s episode, we’re fielding questions about the situations you are facing in your relationship with your own mom. Whether it’s a conflict over parenting style, a strained relationship, or a concern about childcare, Karen has the practical answers you’re looking for so you can honor your mother while still maintaining your boundaries.

Episode Recap:

2:31 - Honoring your mom can be difficult when the relationship has not been good

3:57 - This can be a spiritual battle more than anything

4:40 - How can I help my mom out after the death of my father?

8:15 - My mom watches my kids weekly and their misbehavior is causing tension between us

13:00 - I’m afraid my mom will resent us choosing daycare, how would you address it?

16:37- My mom has a new boyfriend and I don’t want to be around his dysfunctional family. What can I do?

Questions for Discussion:

1. How would you characterize the relationship you have with your mother? Healthy? Distant? Conflicted? Non-existent?
2. If that is a healthy relationship, what part have you played in keeping it healthy?
3. If your relationship with your mom is difficult, strained, or unhealthy, how does that impact your mental and spiritual health?
4. What is one thing you can do to honor your mother this week, no matter what the current state of that relationship is?

Resources:

• Grief podcast with Dr. Judy Wolfe: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/wt-159-processing-grief-in-motherhood-with-judy-wolfe/id1101953069?i=1000436874170
• Want to bring Karen to speak in your community? Reach out: www.birdsonwiremoms.com/invite
• Connect with Birds on a Wire Moms on Instagram: www.instagram.com/birdsonawiremomsand Facebook: www.facebook.com/birdsonawiremoms

Fear and anxiety among moms today is rampant. In the emails we receive, the churches we visit, and with the moms Karen speaks to- fear is a big deal. Today Karen teaches us a powerful verse and reminds us to fight fear with the truth of God’s Word.

Episode Recap:

5:32 - Generally speaking, moms these days are incredibly fearful

6:23 - If fear does not come from God, where is it coming from?

8:27 - I want to trust my family to watch my kids, but feel like I should be scared of letting others watch them based on what I hear in society

12:12 - Help! I worry about all the “what ifs” in life

16:23 - Every evening my anxiety spikes and fear persists

19:33 - My son struggles with fear and I find it hard to understand or be compassionate

Questions for Discussion:

1. Do you struggle with fear in your life? Have you ever contemplated 2 Timothy 1:7 “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”?
2. Do you truly believe that God loves your child and is actively pursuing your child’s heart?
3. How can you fight fear with the Word of God this week? Some ideas: memorize it, write it out and post it around your home, play worship music, etc.
4. How are you praying for your child and your home this week?

Resources:

• 2 Timothy 1:7: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+tim+1%3A7&version=ESV
• Sissy Goff’s The Worry-Free Parent: https://amzn.to/3QcTp5e
• Want to bring Karen to speak in your community? Reach out: www.birdsonwiremoms.com/invite

Connect with Birds on a Wire Moms on Instagram: www.instagram.com/birdsonawiremoms and Facebook: www.facebook.com/birdsonawiremoms

May is coming moms - and it’s full of school commitments, parties, end of year events and more. Today we’re talking about what you can do before the chaos begins to prepare yourself and your family for a more peaceful May.

Episode Recap:

7:36 - You can’t do everything for everybody

10:58 - Find the beauty in letting your Senior go

12:50 - Stay present and enjoy it!

16:25 - Find time for self-care

18:53 - Involve your husband in the to-do list

Questions for Discussion:

1. What does your calendar look like as you look ahead to May? What can you do this week to protect your time and account for the busyness ahead?
2. From 0-10, how are you doing with self-care right now? What little things can you incorporate into your day and week that help you feel like you?
3. When was the last time you spent time alone praying and reading your Bible or just connecting with God? Can you make time for that this week?

Resources:

• Karen’s 365 day devotional for moms: https://store.birdsonawiremoms.com/collections/accessories/products/copy-of-moments-with-god-for-moms-daily-devotional-faux-leather
• Related episode: Preparing Your Senior for College - https://birdsonawiremoms.com/podcast/episode158
• Want to bring Karen to speak in your community? Reach out: www.birdsonwiremoms.com/invite
• Connect with Birds on a Wire Moms on Instagram: www.instagram.com/birdsonawiremomsand Facebook: www.facebook.com/birdsonawiremoms

Today Courtney DeFeo, host of the Pardon the Mess podcast and a dear friend of Karen’s joins us to talk about raising her daughters. They talk about the season when Courtney felt God calling her to take a break from the professional world - which turned into a 3 year pause. Courtney shares what God did in her world during those years and the new season she is moving into now. She and Karen also share how motherhood uncovered their deep-seated selfishness and how the Lord has worked in their hearts to enable them to celebrate their husband’s successes. We know Courtney’s story will encourage you today!

Episode Recap:

2:40 - How Courtney and Karen know one another

4:25 - Courtney’s family and work history

9:55 - God called Courtney to take a complete break from work

13:53 - Just as He told her when to get out, He told her when to get back in

15:58 - Motherhood taught them how selfish they were

21:20- Being jealous of their husbands’ careers and successes

24:19 - Separating her children’s struggles from her responsibilities

30:45 - Pause and pray when you are tempted to jump in and fix the situation

32:58 - Learning not to overcommit

34:17 - Seeing how God has been faithful and brought women into her children’s lives to encourage their faith

Questions for Discussion:

1. Have you ever felt God calling you to a season of rest?
2. Is there any tension in your relationship with work right now?
3. Do you feel like you compete with your husband when it comes to your career or your success in life?
4. Do you struggle with feeling guilty or responsible for the struggles your children are going through?
5. What is something God has taught you through your journey of motherhood?

Resources:

• Courtney’s podcast: Pardon the Mess: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pardon-the-mess-with-courtney-defeo/id1424241361
• Ephesians 3:18: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians%203%3A18&version=NIV
• Want Karen to speak to the moms in your community? Reach out: www.birdsonwiremoms.com/invite
• Connect with Birds on a Wire Moms on Instagram: www.instagram.com/birdsonawiremomsand Facebook: www.facebook.com/birdsonawiremoms

Today we’re answering Bible questions you might feel silly asking out loud! This episode is full of insights across a breadth of biblical topics. Be sure to check out the show notes for every scripture reference Karen mentions! We hope this one encourages you to pick up your Bible, pray for wisdom, and get reading this week!

Episode Recap:

1:45 - Emily’s confusion over multiple James and Johns in the New Testament

4:30 - Is everything all white in heaven? Where does that stereotype come from?

9:43 - What did the “judges” do in biblical times?

13:04 - Why do we tithe? Where does God command it?

15:50 - Help me straighten out all the ‘Marys’ in the New Testament!

19:03 - Why do so many Bible characters go by two different names?

21:30- What’s the difference between the Pharisees and the Sadducees?

23:20 - Where does the phrase, “for this child I have prayed” come from?

26:00 - Why do we obey the Ten Commandments but not the Levitical law?

28:30 - Help! Reading the Bible confuses me!

31:20 - Tools for studying the Bible

Questions for Discussion:

1. Did you learn anything new from this episode?
2. What tools do you currently use when you study the Bible?
3. Are there any “silly” Bible questions that came to mind as you listened to this conversation? What are they?

Resources:

• Karen’s study Bible
• John McArthur’s Revelation study: https://amzn.to/4aowoo8
• References to the color white in heaven (in the order Karen mentions them): Revelation 3:4-5, 6:11, 7:9&13, 19:8&14, Matthew 17:2, 28:3, Revelation 4:4, 6:2, 7:14
• References to color in heaven: Revelation 21:16-21
• Tithing Scripture: Malachi 3:10 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Malachi%203%3A10&version=NIV
• Mary who poured perfume on Jesus’ feet Matthew 26:7: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+26%3A7&version=NIV
• Name change references: Genesis 17:5, 15, 32:2, Acts 13:9
• Hannah’s prayer of thanksgiving: 1 Samuel 1:27 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+samuel+1%3A27&version=NIV
• Luke 22:19-20, John 14:6
• The Bible Recap podcast & study tools: https://www.thebiblerecap.com/
• Want Karen to speak to the moms in your community? Reach out: www.birdsonwiremoms.com/invite
• Connect with Birds on a Wire Moms on Instagram: www.instagram.com/birdsonawiremoms and Facebook: www.facebook.com/birdsonawiremoms

Danielle from Intentional Marriages joins us today to share insights from over a decade of working with married couples. She offers practical ways couples raising young kids can connect with one another on a daily and weekly basis and shares hope for couples who are struggling in their marriage.

We hope you pick up one practical tip that helps you be intentional about prioritizing your marriage relationship today.

Episode Recap:

11:45 - Connecting with Your Spouse in Seasons of Busyness

14:30 - What Does a Daily Check-In Look Like?

15:50 - Pausing to Talk Through “The Story I’m Telling Myself…”

19:10 - Tigers Vs. Turtles

23:15 - You Need a Weekly Check-In

27:30 - Everything Else Is Scheduled, Schedule Sex!

31:30 - Get Help Before Your Relationship Is In Trouble

Resources:

• Check out Danielle and Russ’s ministry and resources: Intentional Marriages: https://www.intentionalmarriages.net/
• Want Karen to speak to the moms in your community? Reach out to us for events in 2025: www.birdsonwiremoms.com/invite
• Connect with Birds on a Wire Moms on Instagram: www.instagram.com/birdsonawiremomsand Facebook: www.facebook.com/birdsonawiremoms

Questions for Group Discussion:

1. If you were to rank the health of your marriage today on a scale from 1 (on life support) to 5 (thriving) where would you put it?
2. Are you the “turtle’ or the “tiger” in your relationship?
3. What’s one practical thing Danielle mentioned in this conversation that you can put into practice this week?
4. When’s the last time you had a weekly check-in with your spouse?

Our strong-willed children can drive parents up the wall with their forceful opinions! In today’s episode Karen gives advice for any mom locked in a battle with her “red” child. She reminds us of the needs our strong-willed children have, and offers encouragement for coming alongside them without giving in to their demands.

Episode Recap:

04:28 - Why Karen Loves Her Reds

5:30 - Strengths and Weaknesses of the Red Personality

7:50 - Dead Giveaways You Have a Red Child

11:00 - How Do I Handle My 6 Year Old’s Stubbornness?

19:00 - How Do I Discipline a Defiant Toddler Who Hits?

24:15 - How Do I Break Bad Habits We Started During Covid?

29:05 What Do I Do About My Picky Eater?

32:00 - Give Choices to Your Strong-Willed Child

34:33 - Reds Are Your Leaders, Get Them on the Right Path

Resources:

• Take the quick quiz to learn your child’s personality color: boaw.mom/quiz
• Grab Kathleen Edelman’s book: A Grown Up’s Guide to Kids’ Wiring https://amzn.to/3vnmyUd
• Check out Karen’s latest curriculum on Right Now Media: Survival Guide to Motherhood: https://app.rightnowmedia.org/en/content/details/760101
• Want Karen to speak to the moms in your community? Reach out: www.birdsonwiremoms.com/invite
• Connect with Birds on a Wire Moms on Instagram: www.instagram.com/birdsonawiremoms and Facebook: www.facebook.com/birdsonawiremoms

Today Karen is sharing a simple way to talk with your kids about the meaning of Easter. Listen as she walks us step-by-step through the Easter story using Resurrection Eggs. This may be a great new tradition you can start with your family this year!

Episode Recap:

11:00 - Karen walks through the Resurrection Eggs

14:30 - Old Testament prophecy Jesus fulfilled (Zec. 9:9)

22:10 - Don’t try to sugarcoat the ugliness of the crucifixion for your kids

36:05 - You can have fun with Easter and still focus on the reason we celebrate

36:45 - How can we share the Good News of the resurrection with our older kids?

Resources:

• Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@birdsonawiremoms
• Grab Resurrection Eggs for your family this Easter! https://amzn.to/48QOWM5
• Pick up Karen’s Teen Devotional: https://store.birdsonawiremoms.com/collections/frontpage/products/preorder-teen-devotional
• Want Karen to speak to the moms in your community? Reach out: www.birdsonwiremoms.com/invite
• Connect with Birds on a Wire Moms on Instagram: www.instagram.com/birdsonawiremoms and Facebook: www.facebook.com/birdsonawiremoms

Moms face conflicting priorities daily. From little things, like: do I wake up early to get a workout in or catch extra sleep because the baby was up last night to bigger questions like, do we have another baby or do I prioritize going back to work? The answers aren’t always black and white, but today Karen offers up wisdom to help guide you when you’re caught between two good choices.

Episode Recap:

• 08:34 - How do I shift my mindset about the heavy workload I carry as a working mom?
• 15:44 - How can I be a more playful mom?
• 20:07 - I’m finding it hard to be joyful as a newly expectant older mom…
• 22:37 - Help! The blue personalities in my life are draining me!

Resources:

• Pick up Karen’s Teen Devotional: https://store.birdsonawiremoms.com/collections/frontpage/products/preorder-teen-devotional
• Check out Karen’s grandkids on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ee2YYTZ-mfQ
• Listen to our Dad Color series from last summer: 368, 369, 370, 371
• Want Karen to speak to the moms in your community? Reach out: www.birdsonwiremoms.com/invite
• Connect with Birds on a Wire Moms on Instagram: www.instagram.com/birdsonawiremoms and Facebook: www.facebook.com/birdsonawiremoms

Today's episode rides the emotional rollercoaster ride of defiance, particularly with red/blue personality kids. Karen shares insights, encouragement, and practical tips for parents who are facing defiance head-on.

Episode Recap:

08:26 - Red and Blue Temperament Combination

10:16 - Seeking God's Wisdom

19:41 - Addressing Defiance in Children

24:56 - Gaining Respect from a Defiant Child

27:54 - Letting Fathers Take the Lead

Resources:

• Don’t miss it! Register for Mom Core Online today! www.boaw.mom/momcoreonline
• Pick up Karen’s Teen Devotional: https://store.birdsonawiremoms.com/collections/frontpage/products/preorder-teen-devotional
• Want Karen to speak to the moms in your community? Reach out: www.birdsonwiremoms.com/invite
• Connect with Birds on a Wire Moms on Instagram: www.instagram.com/birdsonawiremoms and Facebook: www.facebook.com/birdsonawiremoms