Quest For You

Celebrating 600 episodes coincides with the end of an epic year and I want to take to opportunity to invite you to reflect together with me. I want to help you see that this year may have not been the most productive, as you have witnesses with the irregularity of my last 100 episodes, but that doesn't mean it was a waste. Lets zoom in on it and find meaning.

Join me on this Thanksgiving day 2020 with some gratitude, no matter how hard that might be to find this year. We can find gratitude in the past, by acknowledging all the wonderful experiences we have had. We can also find it in this present moment, and in the future.

The moments that are bigger than us tend to lead us into many directions - hiding, frantically searching for answers, or we feel overwhelmed. I have found that such moments, of which we have many this year, are meant to lead us back to ourselves. They require reflection and contemplation as it is often in that quiet time with ourselves that we get to the insights we need to move forward.

Its election week and I am less concerned about who wins, and more about what our reaction as a country will be to the incoming president. The word civility has been on my mind lately and this week is a good time to remind ourselves that we cannot afford to forget about it. Being polite may not always be easy, but its the more effective and productive way to deal with issues we don't agree with and to treat people that are different from us.

I have been silent for a few weeks with this podcast and this episode is an attempt to explain my reasons. And while there are many potential explanations - the bottom line is this - I haven't gotten it done. And while I am tempted to blame 2020 with all its newness and not-normalness, I have also have to be honest with myself. I had ideas, but they haven't turned into action. This episode may resonate with many of you as I am certain we all in stuck in some areas of our life. And to get unstuck, we just need to take one small step. This episode is my first step.

In the last months, our lives have been pretty restricted, and we had to follow many guidelines devised by others. But that doesn't mean we need to give up control of our entire life. Being restricted is not the end. We are still in control of our life. Before we echo what everyone says or does, lets think for ourselves and lets make decisions that are best for us. This requires a constant choosing of ourselves over others, or whatever may seem easiest.

When life is challenging, its our tendency to escape. Or we furiously try to work out solutions to our issues. Yet there is a simpler answer that doesn’t waste so much effort and time. Its called presence. Being attentive with what is. Even if its uncertain or difficult, as it is for many of us at this moment.

I am fascinated by this grounding and yet inspiring book that brings home the importance of connecting with ourselves first before we can try to try love another. Piver beautifully connects the 4 Noble Truths of Buddhism to love and relationships, which begins with the love for ourselves.

A life-altering tragedy can be a stopping point for many of us. But not for Marilyn Washington Harris. Her love for her son has guided her through extremely challenging times, and at the same time gave her to fuel to turn her pain into action. Today she helps other mothers who have experienced loss through her organization named after her son and thereby inspires others to not stop with pain, but to move forward with love.

Things have fallen apart lately quite a bit for all of us. Pema Chödrön's book offers a light that can help us see in the darkness. And it begins with us. We have to change our grasping for safety and need for control and learn to see the lessons within the challenges before us.  Things falling apart then becomes good news, because it offers us the opportunity to begin again.