Beyond the Ball

We got an extra-long whopper of an episode this week as we discuss Sharpedo. Get ready for absurd destructive capabilities, gross mischaracterizations, unsettling revelations, and more! Also baseball? And more Zelda obviously. Follow along with the entries below:

Ruby: Nicknamed “the bully of the sea,” SHARPEDO is widely feared. Its cruel fangs grow back immediately if they snap off. Just one of these POKéMON can thoroughly tear apart a supertanker.

Sapphire: SHARPEDO can swim at speeds of up to 75 mph by jetting seawater out of its backside. This POKéMON’s drawback is its inability to swim long distances.

FireRed & LeafGreen: The ruffian of the seas, it has fangs that crunch through iron. It swims by jetting water from its rear.

Emerald: The vicious and sly gangster of the sea. Its skin is specially textured to minimize drag in water. Its speed tops out at over 75 miles per hour.

Diamond, Pearl, Platinum:Its fangs rip through sheet iron. It swims at 75 mph and is known as “The Bully of the Sea.”

HeartGold & SoulSilver: It can swim at speeds of 75 mph by jetting seawater through its body. It is the bandit of the sea.

Sun: It pursues its prey at speeds of 75 mph and finishes them off with fangs that can crush iron. It is known as the bully of the sea.

Moon: It has a sad history. In the past, its dorsal fin was a treasured foodstuff, so this Pokémon became a victim of overfishing.

Ultra Sun: People believe that carrying one of its discarded fangs will prevent mishaps at sea, so the fangs are made into accessories.

Ultra Moon: It drinks in seawater and jets it from its rear to propel itself. It’s very sensitive to the scent of blood.

Sword: As soon as it catches the scent of prey, Sharpedo will jet seawater from its backside, hurtling toward the target to attack at 75 mph.

Shield: This Pokémon is known as the Bully of the Sea. Any ship entering the waters Sharpedo calls home will be attacked—no exceptions.

BTB: Known to pleasant individuals as the Cheetah of the Sea, Sharpedo is on a quest to obliterate all shipping lanes.

Mega Sharpedo

Sun: The spines sprouting from its head are transformed fangs. If they’re injured or broken off, the spines will regenerate countless times.

Moon: As a consequence of Mega Evolution, its combative instincts exploded. The yellow marks it bears are scars from a long history of battles.

Ultra Sun: The yellow patterns it bears are old scars. The energy from Mega Evolution runs through them, causing it sharp pain and suffering.

Ultra Moon: The moment it charges into its opponent, sharp spikes pop out of Sharpedo’s head, leaving its opponent with deep wounds.

Cover design by Kwesi Phillips

Music by Junichi Masuda and Go Ichinose

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Ya'll hear about piranha? This one's like a piranha but if they ate boats. Also Braden finally started playing Breath of the Wild so get ready for some 6-years-late takes! Follow along with the entries below:

Ruby: CARVANHA’s strongly developed jaws and its sharply pointed fangs pack the destructive power to rip out boat hulls. Many boats have been attacked and sunk by this POKéMON.

Sapphire: If anything invades CARVANHA’s territory, it will swarm and tear at the intruder with its pointed fangs. On its own, however, this POKéMON turns suddenly timid.

FireRed & LeafGreen: It lives in massive rivers that course through jungles. It swarms prey that enter its territory.

Emerald: CARVANHA attack ships in swarms, making them sink. Although it is said to be a very vicious POKéMON, it timidly flees as soon as it finds itself alone.

Diamond, Pearl, Platinum: They swarm any foe that invades their territory. Their sharp fangs can tear out boat hulls.

HeartGold & SoulSilver: They form packs to attack boats and rip out their hulls to sink them. They live in rivers in the jungle.

Sun: Each school has its own territory. Any intruders are mercilessly attacked with fangs bared.

Moon: If they scent the faintest trace of blood, they rush to attack en masse. When alone, they’re rather cowardly.

Ultra Sun: They’re such cowards that they won’t hunt alone. When five or so of them get together, they suddenly turn ferocious!

Ultra Moon: With its sturdy jaws and fangs, it can easily chomp wooden boats to splinters. It fights with Basculin over food.

Sword: It won’t attack while it’s alone—not even if it spots prey. Instead, it waits for other Carvanha to join it, and then the Pokémon attack as a group.

Shield: These Pokémon have sharp fangs and powerful jaws. Sailors avoid Carvanha dens at all costs.

BTB: This pointy fish gets real rowdy in a crowd and loves chompin' on boats. They get all bashful without their buddies though.

This episode NOT sponsored by Carvana

Cover design by Kwesi Phillips

Music by Junichi Masuda and Go Ichinose

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Alright, we're on to the final Lycanroc and it's kind of a dud to be honest. This rare and special doggo definitely deserved some better entries but don't worry, we make up for it by talking about locusts, Clifford, and Curious George. Follow along with the entries below:

Ultra Sun: Bathed in the setting sun of evening, Lycanroc has undergone a special kind of evolution. An intense fighting spirit underlies its calmness.

Ultra Moon: This strange form is the result of its evolving at dusk. It’s very rare in Alola.

Sword: This form of Lycanroc is normally calm and quiet. Once a battle begins, however, this Pokémon displays a ferocious fighting spirit.

Shield: These Pokémon have both calm and ferocious qualities. Their temperamental nature makes them a difficult species to raise.

Scarlet: Normally this Pokémon doesn’t even bark, but once it enters battle, it will relentlessly drive the opponent into a corner.

Violet: These Pokémon have both calm and ferocious qualities. It’s said that this form of Lycanroc is the most troublesome to raise.

BTB: Two wolves live inside this form of Lycanroc. Somehow, this makes it harder to raise. Weird!

We're back after a couple weeks off and the dog journey continues as we discuss Lycanroc's midnight form! Plus, Will spoils the epic conclusion to the Twilight movies (12:55-18:25)! Follow along with the entries below:

Sun: The more intimidating the opponent it faces, the more this Pokémon’s blood boils. It will attack with no regard for its own safety.

Moon: It goads its enemies into attacking, withstands the hits, and in return, delivers a headbutt, crushing their bones with its rocky mane.

Ultra Sun: It has no problem ignoring orders it doesn’t like. It doesn’t seem to mind getting hurt at all—as long as it can finish off its opponent.

Ultra Moon: They live alone without forming packs. They will only listen to orders from Trainers who can draw out their true power.

Sword: This form of Lycanroc is reckless. It charges headlong at its opponents, attacking without any care about what injuries it might receive.

Shield: It’s invigorated by powerful opponents—the stronger the better. A full-force headbutt from one of these Lycanroc can shatter giant boulders.

Scarlet: This Pokémon uses its rocky mane to slash any who approach. It will even disobey its Trainer if it dislikes the orders it was given.

Violet: This Lycanroc has an extremely vicious temperament. It will happily sustain injuries for the sake of taking down its opponent.

Photodex: This proud, solitary Pokémon almost never eats anything that it didn’t catch itself. It’s always hungry for a battle, though—even against terribly strong opponents.

BTB: This rowdy warrior loves winning and murder (?) more than its own wellbeing. It'll heck you up with it's Rocky Mohwak/Pompadour bang.

Cover design by Kwesi Phillips

Music by Junichi Masuda and Go Ichinose

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A dog becomes a wolf this episode as we discuss one of three of Rockruff's evolved forms, Lycanroc (Midday)! In case you couldn't tell by the cover art this week, Braden is feeling some last-minute, reactionary Pride Month Spirit as we try to make our values and politics even more obvious this episode. Also Will has made the natural progression from watching True Blood to watching Twilight so hold on tight, spider monkeys! Follow along with the entries below:

Sun: Its quick movements confuse its enemies. Well equipped with claws and fangs, it also uses the sharp rocks in its mane as weapons.

Moon: When properly raised from a young age, it will become a trustworthy partner that will absolutely never betray its Trainer.

Ultra Sun: The sharp rocks in its mane can cut like knives. Lycanroc wears its prey down by degrees before finishing them off.

Ultra Moon: The rocks in its mane are sharper than a knife. Fragments that break off are treasured as good luck charms.

Sword: This Lycanroc is calm and cautious. The rocks jutting from its mane are razor sharp.

Shield: With swift movements, this Pokémon gradually backs its prey into a corner. Lycanroc’s fangs are always aimed toward opponents’ weak spots.

Scarlet: Lycanroc attacks its prey with its sharp claws and fangs. It loyally obeys the instructions of a Trainer it trusts.

Violet: It has a calm and collected demeanor. It swiftly closes in on its prey, then slices them with the rocks in its mane.

Photodex: This loyal Pokémon always does what it can for those it holds dear. It uses its rocky mane and claws to protect Rockruff in its care.

BTB: It's a cool, calm wolf that's loyal as heck. It's got a plan and it's sticking to it with very sharp neck rocks and weakpoint-detecting teeth.

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Cover design by Kwesi Phillips

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We're talking about a very cute dog Pokemon whose name is Rockruff! But could its adolescent aggression make it too rough to handle for some trainers? Join us as we find out and also discuss Pokemon's inherent ethical fallacies while doing our best to not devolve into a podcast where Will just explains all of True Blood to Braden! Follow along with the entries below:

Sun: It’s considered to be a good Pokémon for beginners because of its friendliness, but its disposition grows rougher as it grows up.

Moon: This Pokémon has lived with people since times long ago. It can sense when its Trainer is in the dumps and will stick close by its Trainer’s side.

Ultra Sun: As they develop, their disposition grows more violent and aggressive. Many Trainers find them too much to handle and abandon them.

Ultra Moon: When it rubs the rocks on its neck against you, that’s proof of its love for you. However, the rocks are sharp, so the gesture is quite painful!

Sword: This Pokémon can bond very strongly with its Trainer, but it also has a habit of biting. Raising a Rockruff for a long time can be challenging.

Shield: This Pokémon intimidates opponents by striking the ground with the rocks on its neck. The moment an opponent flinches, Rockruff attacks.

Scarlet: This Pokémon is very friendly when it’s young. Its disposition becomes vicious once it matures, but it never forgets the kindness of its master.

Violet: This Pokémon travels in a pack with others until it grows up. When its mood turns sour, it starts striking the ground with the rocks on its neck.

Photodex: Rockruff is really good at making friends, which we saw when it was playing happily with some other Pokémon. But it’s also brave enough to protect its friends if something were to threaten them.

BTB: Doggy cute as heck. But it's gonna get real mean so you'd better be up to the challenge.

Cover design by Kwesi Phillips

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Primeape is dead! Long live Annihilape! We thought Primeape's rage knew no bounds but Annihilape has transcended such mortal limitations. Just like Goku! Follow along with the entries below:

Scarlet: When its anger rose beyond a critical point, this Pokémon gained power that is unfettered by the limits of its physical body.

Violet: It imbues its fists with the power of the rage that it kept hidden in its heart. Opponents struck by these imbued fists will be shattered to their core.

BTB: Primeape died and Annihilape rose from the ashes and it's not gonna hold back any more. Prepare to be destroyed physically and spiritually.

Cover design by Kwesi Phillips

Music by Junichi Masuda and Go Ichinose

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Welcome to the Primeape episode! In which we explore the differences between monkeys and apes, Pokemon and boxers, rage and serenity, and more. Follow along with the entries below:

Red & Blue: Always furious and tenacious to boot. It will not abandon chasing its quarry until it is caught.

Yellow: It stops being angry only when nobody else is around. To view this moment is very difficult.

Gold: If approached while asleep, it may awaken and angrily give chase in a groggy state of semi-sleep.

Silver: It becomes wildly furious if it even senses someone looking at it. It chases anyone that meets its glare.

Crystal: It will beat up anyone who makes it mad, even if it has to chase them until the end of the world.

Ruby & Sapphire: When PRIMEAPE becomes furious, its blood circulation is boosted. In turn, its muscles are made even stronger. However, it also becomes much less intelligent at the same time.

FireRed: It is always outrageously furious. If it gives chase, it will tenaciously track the target no matter how far.

Diamond, Pearl & Platinum: It grows angry if you see its eyes and gets angrier if you run. If you beat it, it gets even madder.

Sun: It has been known to become so angry that it dies as a result. Its face looks peaceful in death, however.

Moon: Some researchers theorize that Primeape remains angry even when inside a Poké Ball.

Ultra Sun: It will never forgive opponents who have angered it. Even after it has beaten them down until they can’t move, it never ever forgives.

Ultra Moon: The blood vessels in its brain are sturdier than those of other Pokémon, so it can stay healthy despite its constant raging.

Dark Primeape: Although Primeapes have always been mean, lately they seem to be becoming even more vicious and frenzied.

BTB: If you anger it, and you will, just play dead and take it because if you make it even angrier it might die.

Cover design by Kwesi Phillips

Music by Junichi Masuda and Go Ichinose

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SPOILER WARNING: Pokemon Scarlet and Violet will be discussed in their entirety, including the ending to the story!

The spoilercast is finally here! It's time to get our full thoughts and opinions on Pokemon Scarlet and Violet! Or at least as much of those as we can fit into 90 minutes. Turns out these were pretty good games with some fascinating implications that we were very excited to dig into.

Cover design by Kwesi Phillips

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Episode 200 is finally here and we're of course going to discuss the winner of our listener poll, Mankey! Perhaps Braden's favorite Pokemon, this little furball is really heckin' steamed and we're gonna try our best to find out why! Follow along with the entries below:

Red & Blue: Extremely quick to anger. It could be docile one moment then thrashing away the next instant.

Yellow: An agile POKéMON that lives in trees. It angers easily and will not hesitate to attack anything.

Gold: It is extremely ill-tempered. Groups of them will attack any handy target for no reason.

Silver: It’s unsafe to approach if it gets violently enraged for no reason and can’t distinguish friends from foes.

Crystal: It lives in groups in the treetops. If it loses sight of its group, it becomes infuriated by its loneliness.

Ruby & Sapphire: When MANKEY starts shaking and its nasal breathing turns rough, it’s a sure sign that it is becoming angry. However, because it goes into a towering rage almost instantly, it is impossible for anyone to flee its wrath.

Emerald: When it starts shaking and its nasal breathing turns rough, it’s a sure sign of anger. However, since this happens instantly, there is no time to flee.

FireRed: Light and agile on its feet, and ferocious in temperament. When angered, it flies into an uncontrollable frenzy.

Diamond, Pearl & Platinum: It lives in treetop colonies. If one becomes enraged, the whole colony rampages for no reason.

Sun: It can spontaneously become enraged. Everyone near it clears out as it rampages, and the resulting loneliness makes it angrier still.

Moon: Its raging tires it out and causes it to fall asleep, but the anger resonating in its dreams causes it to wake up—which infuriates it all over again.

Ultra Sun: The smallest of things could cause it to lose its temper. Because it doesn’t hold in its stress, this Pokémon can live a long time.

Ultra Moon: If one gets angry, all the others around it will get angry, so silence is a rare visitor in a troop of Mankey.

BTB: The angriest angry Pokemon in the world. An unstoppable, furry ball of noise and violence.

Cover design by Kwesi Phillips

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