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Modern Love

by The New York Times

For 20 years, the Modern Love column has given New York Times readers a glimpse into the complicated love lives of real people. Since its start, the column has evolved into a TV show, three books and a podcast. Each week, host Anna Martin brings you stories and conversations about love in all its glorious permutations, dumb pitfalls and life-changing moments. New episodes every Wednesday. Listen to this podcast in New York Times Audio, our new iOS app for news subscribers. Download now at nytimes.com/audioapp

Copyright: © 2020-2024 THE NEW YORK TIMES COMPANY; The New York Times encourages the use of RSS feeds for personal use in a news reader or as part of a non-commercial blog, subject to your agreement to our Terms of Service.

Episodes

The Day My Family Changed Forever

23m · Published 12 Jul 20:00

Imagine you are on vacation. Your favorite shirt is waiting for you in your suitcase. You go to put it on, only to realize it’s not there. You forgot it, and there’s nothing you can do now.

That’s an experience that played out time and again for Natalie Muñoz, who split her childhood and adolescence between her parents’ houses after their divorce. Now that she’s turning 18, she tells us how she’s finding a balance that works better for her.

Then, Modern Love listeners share stories about the moment they knew their parents were really divorcing and how that feeling has lingered throughout their lives.

Today's Story:

  • "My Two-House, Duffel-Bag Life," by Natalie Muñoz

The Gift of Holiday Men

10m · Published 05 Jul 20:00

Kema Christian-Coates’s childhood was filled with “holiday men,” absentee fathers — including her own — who returned each year around Christmas only to disappear again. Her father’s absence left a hole in her life and the fear that she, like her mother and grandmother, would never find a man she could rely on.

Today, we hear Kema’s story on realizing the power of her mother and grandmother’s presence in her life and on finding a lasting partnership.

Today’s story:

  • “The Gift of Missing Men,” by Kema Christian-Coates

Sex on the Run? No, We Parked.

18m · Published 28 Jun 20:00

Having sex in a car is usually a last resort, born from the trappings of youth. For Susan Silas, it was a midlife necessity.

While working as a production accountant on a sitcom, Susan met a teamster. Despite having little in common — he was former military; she had been an antiwar protester — they hit it off. But, without a private place to go to, they found themselves having sex in the back seat of the teamster’s car. It wouldn’t be the last time.

Today, Susan shares how car sex turned into something deeper.

Today’s story:

  • “Sex on the Run? No, We Parked,” by Susan Silas.

Sex on the Run? No, We Parked.

18m · Published 28 Jun 20:00

Having sex in a car is usually a last resort, born from the trappings of youth. For Susan Silas, it was a midlife necessity.

While working as a production accountant on a sitcom, Susan met a teamster. Despite having little in common — he was former military; she had been an antiwar protester — they hit it off. But, without a private place to go to, they found themselves having sex in the back seat of the teamster’s car. It wouldn’t be the last time.

Today, Susan shares how car sex turned into something deeper.

Today’s story:

  • “Sex on the Run? No, We Parked,” by Susan Silas.

What I Got Wrong About My Parents’ Marriage

25m · Published 21 Jun 20:00

As one of the only Indian girls in her tiny Canadian mountain town, Natasha Singh stood out — and she was unafraid of being different. At 13, she shaved her head. By 17, she had run away for good. A few years later she came out to her mother.

Natasha’s worldview was worlds apart from her very traditional immigrant parents. Her mother always wore a sari — never pants — and Natasha longed for the power and control her father wielded in the family. She balked at the idea of marriage. That is, until she found Branly.

Now, decades after leaving home and watching her parents age together, Natasha reflects on a new understanding of her parents and an appreciation for the devotion they shared.

For a 30-Year-Old Virgin, It’s Now or Never

18m · Published 14 Jun 20:00

Clare Almand was born with congenital heart disease, so her life was never what she would call “normal.” By the time she was 30, she’d had 10 open-heart surgeries and her health was rapidly declining. Clare thought she was dying.

With death looming, she was running out of time to do something she’d never done, something she felt like everyone else had already checked off their list. Clare felt she was running out of time to lose her virginity.

Today, Anna Martin sits down with Clare to discuss wanting to be normal, at least in one small way.

The Marriage Proposal That Wasn’t

29m · Published 07 Jun 20:00

Bob Morris could tell that something was changing with his elderly father: His car was clean, his manners had improved and he had a shine in his eyes. He had a new “lady friend.” Her name was Arlene.

Arlene loved Bob’s father, but she also set clear boundaries with him. She didn’t want to care for him when he got sick and — despite what Bob’s father led Bob to believe — she didn’t want to marry him.

Today, Anna Martin talks to Bob about his father’s last love story. Then, she talks to Arlene herself about a misunderstood marriage proposal and the limits of love.

Today’s episode mentions suicide. If you’re having thoughts of suicide or are concerned that someone you know may be having those thoughts, the number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255.

We Dated for Three Years. He Forgot It All.

27m · Published 31 May 14:55

Sam and Tyler’s relationship was built on a philosophy of joy. Together, they climbed trees, ate cream puffs in bed, and danced in a field with their friends. But, after three years together, Sam was no longer in love, and they broke up.

A few months later, Sam was in a terrible accident. He had amnesia. He knew Tyler was important to him, but not why. He’d forgotten their entire relationship — and he didn’t remember their breakup. Now, Sam needed Tyler to fill in the gaps. Over hospital visits she shared photos and stories — trying to bring back Sam’s memories, yet unsure if she could reveal to him they were no longer a couple.

This is the first episode of our new season! We’ll be back every Wednesday with new episodes.

Today’s essay is written by Tyler Wetherhall.

He Ghosted. I'm Grateful.

21m · Published 12 Apr 20:00

Denny Agassi moved to New York City with a mission: She was looking to have great sex.

Her first summer in the city, Denny downloaded the dating app Grindr. She filtered for trans friendly men looking for sex or short flings — and it worked.

Then, one day, she got a message from a man named Jack. He was poised, curious and caring. What she thought could only be something casual — a Grindr relationship — turned into something serious and meaningful. Denny’s guard began to fall.

But, just as she began to let Jack in, he was gone.

This is the final episode of our season! We’ll be back with new episodes in late May.

Plus, a call out to listeners: When did you realize your parents were really divorced? Tell us your story here: nytimes.com/divorcedparents.

Dating Advice From Jay Shetty

21m · Published 05 Apr 19:50

When Jay Shetty graduated from college, he was prepared for two different paths in life: to work in finance, or become a Hindu monk.

After three years at an ashram, Jay returned home to London hoping to share his learning with the world. He had to relearn how to make small talk — and how to flirt. He had his eye on someone special: a down-to-earth woman named Radhi.

Their first date was a disaster. But it helped him realize that Radhi, who would one day become his wife, yearned for a more simple and authentic mode of connection — qualities he knew well from his time in the ashram.

Today on “Modern Love,” Jay shares how anyone can bring the lessons of monkhood into dating and love — even if you’ve never stepped foot in an ashram.

Modern Love has 535 episodes in total of non- explicit content. Total playtime is 193:13:17. The language of the podcast is English. This podcast has been added on February 22nd 2023. It might contain more episodes than the ones shown here. It was last updated on May 25th, 2024 22:10.

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