0 . INTRO AND DISCLAIMER

6. THE MONKEY’S MIND / THE POISON OF RESENTMENT

THE MONKEY’S MIND:

Our brain loves to be active and is always searching for something that keeps it occupied – it never stops thinking. But sometimes, especially at night, when the mind becomes uncontrollable or overwhelming, it can cause us to feel agitated or restless or confused, which can be described by the psychological metaphor, “monkey mind.” This state of mind can cause severe distress and is often difficult to calm or silence, especially without the proper training to do so. 

Monkey mind is a Buddhist term to describe those times when we feel our head has so much going on in it that we feel dizzy or that our mind will explode. It is as if we have several people speaking (and even shouting!) all at the same time in our brain. The monkey mind is like a wild horse that we cannot stop if it is not deliberately trained.

There are ways we can tame the mind to observe, focus and discern. 

Taming the Monkey

When we cannot control our mind and we feel like “we’re losing it,” there are several ways to reduce its intensity. Many people use breathing and relaxation techniques. To do this, in a sitting position, close your eyes and begin to inhale and exhale, counting the number of inhalations performed.

Other people prefer other mediation or spiritual practice techniques, like reciting verses or praying the rosary or listening to a phrase or mantra that helps calm and focus the mind. I prefer the method of focused breathing, although I sometimes use alternate techniques. Also, I find comfort in reading a spiritual guide that helps me to center and align my energies in ways that are more constructive.

5. THE ABCs OF HOW LIFE WORKS / “THE LAWS”: CAUSE AND EFFECT VS. REVELATION

The Natural Progression of Learning

We are largely conditioned to think a certain way and accept things for what they are, for many of us have simply inherited the thinking patterns and beliefs that were passed down to us by previous generations. In some ways, we are taught what to think – not how to think.

Many individuals are unaware of how the learning process about how life works is actually carried out: moving them from darkness to light. For that reason, we must first embrace this challenge by getting lost and experiencing a period of turbulence and suffering (emptiness, pain, hunger, depression, sadness) in order to then make sense of what we experienced and why we experienced it. Ideally, we would analyze the experience in depth from different perspectives in order to acquire more knowledge, and fully comprehend and react accordingly.

The life choices can make our learning process longer or shorter. There- fore, it will depend on how we manage and react to moments that will move us closer to either the darkness or the light.

The problem is that sometimes we prefer to ignore life’s guidance or clues because we simply do not want to make the effort (homeostasis) that it re- quires to actively stop, look and listen to what is around us and within us. Sometimes we are distracted by outside influences or factors that prevent us from analyzing and understanding our situations, and so we stay in the same place with no possibility of progress. It is not until another moment or op- portunity arrives when we can see it again and decide (or not) to learn from the experience and perhaps evolve into the next consciousness phase.

“THE LAWS”: CAUSE AND EFFECT VS. REVELATION

You Get What You Give

The universal law of cause and effect, also known as karma, essentially means that what we sow is what we will end up collecting. For every ef- fect, there is also a cause – and vice versa. This law is also related to New- ton’s third law: “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reac- tion.” Therefore, all our thoughts, behaviors and acts have consequences. For example, if we treat our friends with love and respect, they will likely respond to us in the same way; or if we mistreat a person, at some point they may do so to us as well. Think of a boomerang. If we throw it hard, it can go very far, but sooner or later it will return to its origin.

Karma does not start only with negative acts, but also with positive ones. Every action has consequences: good or bad. It is crucial to be very careful about what or where we put our mind and feelings, for often we become what we think.

Ride the Wave

The law of revelation means that the teachings that come to us from life will only be learned if we are ready to receive them. Therefore, being a proficient student has its rewards, since it allows us to be prepared to surf the corresponding wave whenever a lesson rolls in. This way, we can face the situations that happen to us and find the lesson, instead of sim- ply letting events happen to us without realizing it and then wondering why we feel the way we do. Remember to always be prepared and ready to catch life’s wave.

4. THE GAP BETWEEN EASY AND DIFFICULT / THE BALANCE BEAM OF LIFE: HOMEOSTASIS AND MOTIVATIONS

THE GAP BETWEEN EASY AND DIFFICULT 

When people refer to something as “easy” or “difficult,” what are they essentially saying? Easy means that we know how to do something (i.e., I know how to do it). When it is difficult, it means that we have not yet learned it (i.e., I do not know how to do it). Humans learn from experience, so as much as we’re told how to do something, sometimes we just need to actually do it where it makes sense. For example, We can admire the sand on a beach, but we do not truly know what it feels like until we wiggle our toes in it.

Neither do we learn if the event is experienced by others, no mat- ter how close it is to us. We must experience it ourselves.

THE BALANCE BEAM OF LIFE: HOMEOSTASIS AND MOTIVATIONS

The body is governed by fight-or-flight instincts that are programmed to survive and reproduce. It also has an internal animal preservation system called homeostasis that tries to maintain a stable equilibrium.

There are times when the body wants to stay as it is and not spend energy to preserve its current state. Sometimes when we’re feeling “la- zy,” our body is telling us to rest. There are people who fight every day against homeostasis and overcome it, just like there are others who suc- cumb and let animal instincts win the game.

The problem is when you remain in one state for a very long time. Constantly doing nothing, for example, prevents people from important learning opportunities that can come to them through life experiences.

Understanding What Motivates Us

Ever wonder why some people are inspired to work long hours while others would rather spend that time relaxing on the couch? It is because people are motivated differently depending on their values. There are two different types of motivation: extrinsic and intrinsic.

Extrinsic motivation occurs when we do something in order to re- ceive an external reward (money, grades, praise) or to prevent some- thing from happening (fear). This exchange of something for some- thing else is referred to as transactional. For example, if I pass with good grades, my parents will reward me with a summer trip.

Intrinsic motivation is where one does not need to be externally rewarded because he receives internal pleasure or satisfaction from it (enjoyment, fulfillment). People who are intrinsically motivated tend to complete things by themselves – without nagging or threats – and do not expect anything in return

Living Purposely

Without proper instruction, guidance and inspiring motivations, we as human beings tend not to evolve much beyond the comforts of homeo- stasis, which keeps us stuck.

3. HOW LOVE AND FEAR WORK

the general functioning of love and fear

It is important to understand how love and fear work, and iden- tify the consequences and responses of living in one side or anoth- er. In order to truly know ourselves and move forward, we need to be very honest with who we are. This means asking questions that we may never have considered, and trying to really find out in what base (approach from love or fear) we find ourselves most of the time. This will enable us to then set goals for improvement by recognizing the moments in which we act according to the basis of love or fear.

Love

Love is an energy of openness, expansion, affection, compassion, transformation, happiness, serenity, gratitude and growth, which is replenished from the universe. Whenever we express love, we receive its energy. When the feeling of love overflows and is transmitted to all, it is characteristic of unconditional love. Individuals who are purely motivated by love will always win in the end,

Fear

Fear is an energy opposed to love, of disconnection, anger, pes- simism, stagnation, limitations, oppression, anxiety, sadness and jealousy that is very easy to multiply if we let the feelings, emotions and experiences that we go through trap us.

Fear is subjective, and we create it ourselves when we have ex- periences that we do not like. It is also the instinctive function of the body that can inhibit learning.

The Process

A) our objective

The objective of our life plan is for us to go through certain experiences and expand our knowledge on how life works.

B) From Fear to Love

The spiritual purpose of life is to move from fear to love. Just like a butterfly must first exit its cocoon before it can fly, people need to go through the experience and then learn from it before unfolding their wings entirely.

It is more difficult to learn something when we are controlled by fear because we repeat the same experiences over and over again. This prevents us from gaining insight, which traps us in fear.

C) the Dance between Fear and Love

Individuals can live in two opposing areas: love or fear. Both areas are not always stable in an individual since we fluctuate between one and the other. Therefore, the oscillations between the two mean that the way we face life is not something fixed, but is flexible and involves choice.

Choosing one or the other leads the individual to understand life from two different points of view that will influence his behaviours, thoughts, feelings and even his abilities. In other words, people can view the same reality very differently depending on their lens.

Along the way, our tendencies towards love and fear become balanced as we all fluctuate. Therefore, something can happen that completely changes the dynamics of the experience, and shift our view to the opposite side. You can start with love and end up with fear, or vice versa. For example, if we plan to spend a nice weekend with a new partner but if the event ends with physical or verbal ag- gression, the experience moves from love to fear.

(C) Copywrited by Penelope Morcillo

2. WHAT IS SUFFERING AND HOW LIFE TEACHES LESSONS

SUFFERING

• Get rid of suffering by following the 3-steps technique, and learn how to overcome and manage it.
• Suffering = negative feelings. When we suffer it is because we do not know something. Therefore, we ignore something that makes us suffer.
• Suffering brings us transformation and life presents it to us with situations or events where we can choose what to do with what happen to us.
• Life teach us lessons through suffering and the process in order is composed by: Darkness, Turbulences and Light.

Suffering is an indicator that tell us that we feel bad about something. In this event we have negative feelings such as pain, anguish, discomfort, sadness, restlessness, dejection, affliction, anger, resentment, etc. So whenever we mention the word “suffering” we should link those feelings with this word.

When we suffer there is a lesson to be learned that bring us personal transformation and more learning. Understanding why we suffer alleviates bitterness and helps us find causes to rectify our behaviour. When we suffer, there is usually something we do not yet know or have not learned in order to resolve the pain.

The learning process follows this structure:

1st Confusion, 2nd Turbulence (suffering) and 3rd understanding.

Here we have the example to link to the concept: the skin rash.

Step 1: CONFUSION - Imaging you have a skin rash (Confusion) from an allergy, but you do not know what it is and you are suffering because you only know that you are having discomfort, itchiness, etc.

Step2: TURBULENCE - Eruptions soar and we do not know what is the reason that triggers the allergy. It is not until you find the root of your problem that this situation will cause you a lot of turbulences. In the meantime, your body reacts. It is swollen, your skin is itchy and you are full of small pimples everywhere.

Step 3: LIGHT - Finally, the doctor gives you the test results and you discover that you are allergic to chocolate. So the turbulence stops, and now you know what not to eat.

When we know how the learning process works, it is easier to anticipate and think what can happen to us, because you see it coming. Therefore, you could anticipate, and maybe change the circumstances and choose not to suffer. In this lesson and process there is always a learning.

Sometimes people who have anxiety or stress may buy a lot of things or eat excessively or simply seek a feeling of reward that distracts them from their suffering, and those feelings help them temporarily feel better, even if they are fleeting and unreal.