131 The Case of the Missing Sex Drive (with Intimacy Coach Susan Bratton)
41m
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Thyroid Mystery Solved: Hashimoto's and Hypothyroidism Revealed
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The Case:
- Cindy is experiencing hormone imbalances, fatigue and a low sex-drive
- She has consulted with a gynecologist but was dismissed and told it was common for her age
- She wasn’t willing to accept that she just had to get used to having a low libido so she came to see me
Investigation
While it is true that hormonal shifts in peri-menopause and menopause can cause a decrease in a woman’s sex drive, there is more to take into consideration. I knew that we had to look a few different avenues to get to the bottom of her health mystery, and find a solution that would reinvigorate her sex life.
Shifting Views on Intimacy
Susan Bratton is an intimacy expert and an advocate for shifting how we talk about and approach desire, intimacy and passion. She’s a best-selling author and has published 34 books and programs on the subject. She advocates for better experiences not only for those like Cindy, who are experiencing low libido, but for all women.
She does this through her work teaching passionate lovemaking techniques, reframes what communication sounds like in the bedroom, and covers the physical limitations that a woman may be experiencing that can impact enjoyment or pleasure.
Getting the Root Cause of Intimacy Issues
Susan says that couples seldom investigate what is causing issues in the bedroom as it relates to the three areas she focuses on (technique, communications, and physical pleasure). Most will find the root cause in our cultural depictions of intimacy derived from our patriarchal society.
When it comes to getting the root of issues with libido or physical arousal for women, it can have to do with the first two categories but sometimes, the issue stems from menopause or peri-menopause, an immune issue, or a hormone issue like hypothyroidism.
Many are unaware of the connection between hormone issues and low libido because they are less likely to list it as a symptom to their doctor. Even if they do, the doctor is unlikely to treat it as a concern.
Switching the Patriarchal Paradigm of Intimacy
One of the issues Susan discusses at length in this episode is the challenge women face becoming aroused (and overcoming low libido) in the patriarchal paradigm of what intimacy looks like. She says that the patriarchy has created the male-focused approach to intimacy which centers around intercourse. And, she says, many women go along with it because it’s all they know.
To reframe this paradigm, women need to think of their partner as someone who can help with the healing through the creation of a good relationship including making you feel vital again, focusing on your satisfaction, and connection through orgasm.
The Fatigue and Romance Conundrum
When you are dealing with things like fatigue, insomnia, gut issues, or chronic pain - romance may be the last thing on your mind. Mustering up the energy for a kiss might seem like too much effort. However, Susan says orgasms can be very healing. They reboot your nervous system. They send out feel good neurotransmitters and hormones. They are a vascular event so they are like a little workout for your blood system. They improve sleep. And they create a deeper connection or bond with yourself and your partner. So, even if you don’t feel like it, it might be good medicine. However, you may want to take it slow and be patient as you build up desire - especially if you are dealing with a physical issue (like hypothyroidism or hashimoto’s) that has depleted desire or moved intimacy way down on the needs list.
Solutions for Vaginal Dryness
Vaginal dryness can be one of the reasons women avoid intimacy. This can be caused by a drop in estrogen (likely after the age of 50 because this is what happens during menopause). Or, it could be due to diet. Natural lubrication of the vaginal tissue is created through nitric oxide production. This is supported by a diet rich in leafy greens and vegetables - specifically celery, beets, dill, cabbage, arugula, and romaine. It can be impeded by the use of antibacterial mouthwash, acid blockers or proton pump inhibitors.
There are supplements to boost nitric oxide production but the most commonly recommended is L-Arginine.
Here are Susan’s top tips for vaginal dryness:
- Diet rich in leafy greens and vegetables (which contain nitric oxide)
- Supplement nitric oxide production
- Stay well hydrated (drink water)
- Engage in foreplay to ensure there is enough time for proper arousal
- Use organic nut oils (refined organic avocado oil, sweet almond oil)
- Not engaging until you are ready
- Don’t get discourage - you are not broken
Beyond that, Susan also suggests supplements that might help you get in the mood. These include:
- Cacao (chocolate without the sugar)
- Maca
- Tribulus Terrestris
- Tongkat Ali
- Fenugreek
Conclusion
In this episode, Susan really exposes that libido is something that needs to be addressed from all angles.
In Cindy’s case, we started by doing a DUTCH test and looking at her hormones. She was pretty low but wasn’t interested in doing bio identical hormones yet. Instead, we supported her DHEA with DHEA drops. To bring her estrogen back into balance, we used Fem Guard by Designs for Health. Additionally, we also worked on blood flow with amino acids and supplements that help to naturally increase nitric oxide from the biochemical side.
With her biochemistry supported, we also looked at what she could do to further support her libido. We talked about making sure she was moving her body regularly, doing breathwork and spending time on her own and with her partner.
I connected Cindy with a sex therapist who was able to guide her and her partner on the emotional part of their journey.
The biochemical support, a few shifts in her lifestyle, and the therapy all resulted in a significant increase in Cindy’s sex drive after just 3 months. Needless to say, everyone was happy.
Eliminating Health Mysteries
For Cindy we were able to find that missing piece of the puzzle and help her regain her healthy sex life. Could this be the missing clue for you or someone in your life?
Links:
Resources mentioned
Thanks to my guest Susan Bratton. You can connect with her and check out all of her resources on her website: https://betterlover.com
Suggested Products
DHEA drops
Fem Guard
Amino Acid Synergy
The episode 131 The Case of the Missing Sex Drive (with Intimacy Coach Susan Bratton) from the podcast Thyroid Mystery Solved: Hashimoto's and Hypothyroidism Revealed has a duration of
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As soon as you find out that you have a thyroid issue, or that you’re diagnosed with Hashimoto's, your instinct is to learn as much as you can. As the internet becomes more and more crowded with information, it can be so difficult to find useful information. And, it can be hard to determine who to trust as you try to navigate your way to overcoming your Hashimoto’s and hyperthyroid symptoms.
I know because I was once in this position and because I’ve spent the last decade helping Hashimoto’s and hypothyroid patients regain their health.
A lot has changed in this time - and more changes are coming (more on that at the end of these show notes) but over the years, I’ve discovered that there are 5 key drivers of success when it comes to overcoming your thyroid issues and Hashimoto’s symptoms. I share them in this episode along with a big announcement about this show and support for anyone dealing with autoimmunity, Hashimoto’s, and hypothyroidism.
The 5 Keys to Overcoming Hashimoto’s
These five proven strategies have made a huge difference for me and many of my clients struggling with Hashimoto's.
1. Diet: Balancing Blood Sugar Is Key
It all starts with food! While everyone's needs are unique, there's one common thread: balanced blood sugar. Eating a balanced diet with all the macronutrients – carbs, proteins, and fats – is crucial. Avoid blood sugar spikes by avoiding excessive carbs at once and pair your meals with protein and healthy fats. Remember, stress can be physical too! Unbalanced blood sugar creates stress on the body, hindering progress.
2. Clean Eating: Ditching Chemicals and Going Organic
Our world is full of chemicals like pesticides and herbicides. Research shows these chemicals can negatively impact our health. So, the cleaner you eat, the better. Prioritize whole, unprocessed foods straight from the earth. Consider going organic, especially for the "Dirty Dozen" – the foods most heavily laden with pesticide residues (check the Environmental Working Group's list). Organic meats and dairy are also beneficial to avoid added hormones and antibiotics.
3. Identify and Address Food Sensitivities
Gluten is a common culprit for many with Hashimoto's. Not everyone needs to be gluten-free, but some may have the DQ2 and DQ8 genes, making gluten processing difficult. When you consume gluten, even without immediate symptoms, the immune system attacks it. This can lead to accidental attacks on the thyroid due to molecular similarities between gluten and thyroid molecules (cross-reactivity).
I personally struggled with gluten for years, but identifying it as a trigger made a significant difference. Consider exploring food sensitivities to see what might be hindering your progress.
4. Targeted Supplements for Personalized Support
Supplements can be extremely helpful, but a one-size-fits-all approach doesn't work. Our immune triggers and thyroid types vary. However, some supplements have been particularly beneficial for me and my clients:
- SPM (Specialized Proresolving Mediators): Helps reduce inflammation and calm the immune system.
- Glutathione: An amazing antioxidant that supports detoxification and promotes immune balance. I recommend the APEX Trizoma Glutathione brand for its liquid form and good taste.
- Vitamin D: Another immune balancer and natural anti-inflammatory. I recommend Designs for Health's Vitamin D Synergy or Vitamin D Supreme.
- Remember: These are just a few suggestions. It's important to find what works best for you.
5. Calm the Nervous System
The nervous system has a powerful influence on the immune system. A calmer nervous system translates to a more balanced immune system. Here are some ways to achieve this:
- Meditation
- Movement
- Visualization
- Reframing negative thoughts
- Releasing negativity
- Setting positive intentions
- Affirmations
- Faith
- Mantras
- Self-worth exercises (like clearing feelings of "not enoughness")
I find meditation and movement particularly helpful. Experiment and find what works for you.
Bonus Tip #1: Building a Morning Practice Can Make a Big Difference
Mornings can be tough, but incorporating a self-care routine can shift the entire day. I recommend starting your day a little earlier, even before the kids wake up (believe me, I get it, I'm not a morning person either!).
The book "The Miracle Morning" by Hal Elrod offers great tips on establishing a morning practice and provides ideas to optimize your early-start time. It’s hard to believe but the benefits of improved sleep quality and stress reduction outweigh the initial sacrifice of a little extra sleep.
Bonus Tip #2: Increase Your Capacity to Receive
This may sound surprising, but it's incredibly powerful. We all want optimal health, vibrant energy, and freedom from Hashimoto's. But sometimes, we struggle to allow ourselves to truly receive these things.
My question for you is, can you allow all of the things you picture when you see yourself in optimal health? Take a moment and really feel this question in your body. How much good health can you really receive without feeling like, ‘Oh, gosh, this is too much’? All the things that you want to be able to do when you are feeling better; when you have more energy; when you lose that weight – how much of that joy can you actually allow and take in?
This might feel like a strange concept, but explore it. Notice any tightness or resistance in your body when you imagine complete freedom from symptoms. Do you feel undeserving of such good health?
We often have subconscious beliefs about deservingness. We may feel good things like joy, love, and health need to be earned. This can block our ability to receive the very things we desire.
You’ve heard the stories about lottery winners who lose their winnings quickly. This is often due to a deep-seated feeling of not deserving it. They sabotage their own success.
The same can happen with health. If you don't feel deserving of good health, your nervous system won't feel safe receiving it. This can lead to unconscious sabotage of your healing journey.
Learning to receive is crucial for overcoming Hashimoto's and any chronic health issues. I have entire programs dedicated to overcoming these blocks: "Clear Your Thyroid Blocks" and my signature program "Thyroid Mystery Solved." You can find more information on my website … which brings me to my important announcement!
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