My Dad Stole My Limelight cover logo

S4 E9: Tony Pacheco (him/her/they)

58m · My Dad Stole My Limelight · 21 Mar 11:00

I am delighted to welcome Tony on to the podcast, who you first met in Alexi’s episode. But today we deep dive into Tony's own journey and story, with Alexi along for the ride! Yay!

TL;DR? Cool hair, cool swords, cool person.

Identity for Tony means they don’t care too much about labels, they say “I am me”, and that works best for them. Sword fighting, which paralleled their gender and sexuality journey, was a declaration of “This is me!” and they both were happening as Tony started to care less about what other people think and felt more and more like themself. 

Being Latino, Tony says that in their culture, it can feel a lot more judgemental, even when joking, so realizing most of the time people don’t actually care, they were able to live life more authentically. This is something Tony hopes for everybody.

Producer Alexi’s appearance is iconic, of course, and we hear how they gave Tony gentle encouragement to explore themselves more which led to where they are today.

Tony doesn’t see their coming out as revealing things that they once hid, as it wasn't actually the case. Tony sees their journey rather as ever-growing, ever-evolving, and ever-expanding into themselves and feels very lucky they have had the space and support to do so.

P.S. After the ep, I journalled A LOT on “having room for more love”.

In this episode:

-Tony learned so much about themself by hitting other people with swords for fun!

-People think they mean well by implying bisexuality is a stepping stone to gay when they say “It's okay to come out as gay to me!”. Please stop!

-This is a coming-out story that involves a Bitmoji hug!

-What’s harder for parents to get on board with? Queerness or vegetarianism?

-Fan Fiction thrives on this podcast!

-We love when Hollywood doesn’t create gay characters but rather features characters that just happen to be gay!

-You can find pride events in your everyday community!

-Trolls on the gram say “That looks a bit gay there!” Tony says “Thanks for noticing!”

Resources:

-Follow Tony on IG! @_tonypacheco 

Connect with MDSML:

-Subscribe to our fun mailing list for FREE updates: mdsml.substack.com

-Connect with Lauren! laurendeborah.substack.com 

-Email the pod: [email protected]

-Podcast production and editing made possible by: Alexi Johnson and Alistair Ogden

-Logo Art: @raphe.ca

-Music: Shawn Kangro

-Follow the podcast network: @604podnetwork

The episode S4 E9: Tony Pacheco (him/her/they) from the podcast My Dad Stole My Limelight has a duration of 58:58. It was first published 21 Mar 11:00. The cover art and the content belong to their respective owners.

More episodes from My Dad Stole My Limelight

Noah Riseman on the long history of sexuality and gender diversities

In this episode I sit with researcher and historian, specialising in Australian Indigenous and LGBTIQA+ histories, Noah Riseman (he/him). We discuss the language we use and how that has evolved, the importance and privilege of sharing trans folks’ stories, the long history of visibility and activism in Australia and coming out to different family members!

Connect with MDSML:

-Join the FREE mailing list for queer joy! hilaurendeborah.substack.com

-Email the pod to say hi or share a limelight-stealing story! [email protected]

-2SLGBTQIA+ resources

Connect with my guest:

- Connect with Noah on Twitter: @NoahRiseman

Resources:

-Transgender Australia, Noah Riseman — Melbourne University Publishing. Or buy from any good independent bookseller. All money made from the book is being donated to trans charities.

Noah’s other books on LGBTQIA+ military service:

-Pride in Defence, Noah Riseman, Shirleene Robinson — Melbourne University Publishing (mup.com.au)

-Serving in Silence | NewSouth Books

Free online resources on trans history provided by Noah:

-NSW Trans History Report - written for The Gender Centre and ACON

-Victoria's Transgender History - written for Transgender Victoria

-A History of Trans Health Care in Australia: A Report for the Australian Professional Association for Trans Health (AusPATH)

-Speaking Out Against Anti-Trans Violence: A Call for Justice - written for The Gender Centre and SWOP (Sex Workers Outreach Project) for the NSW Special Commission of Inquiry into LGBTIQ Hate Crimes

Behind the scenes:

-Podcast production and editing made possible by: Alexi Johnson and the team at @604podnetwork

-Theme Music: Shawn Kangro

-Logo Art: @raphe.ca

Tom Ballard on the queer community coming together and getting sh*t done

In this episode I sit with comedian Tom Ballard (he/him) and discuss coming out over a meat pie, internet browser histories, coming out to ourselves, MySpace, letter-writing as a lost art, lying about being straight to taxi drivers and the insanity of the monarchy!

Connect with MDSML:

-Join the FREE mailing list for queer joy! hilaurendeborah.substack.com

-Email the pod to say hi or share a limelight-stealing story! [email protected]

-2SLGBTQIA+ resources

Connect with my guest:

-Follow Tom on Instagram: @tomcballard

-Follow Tom on X: @tomcballard

-Follow Tom on threads: @tomcballard

-Subscribe to Tom’s YouTube: @TomBallardAus

-Watch Tom’s latest special, It Is I, with 800 Pound Gorilla Records

Behind the scenes:

-Podcast production and editing made possible by: Alexi Johnson and the team at @604podnetwork

-Theme Music: Shawn Kangro

-Logo Art: @raphe.ca

Eve Parker Finley on healing through creative outlets

I am honoured that my guest on this episode is comedian and musician Eve Parker Finley (she/her). We talk about the role of her art in her coming out and her emotional well-being. A behind-the-scenes note is that I kept trying to write the show notes for this episode and instead just got distracted multiple times watching clips of Eve performing because she is PURE JOY!

Connect with MDSML:

-Join the FREE mailing list for queer joy! hilaurendeborah.substack.com

-Email the pod to say hi or share a limelight-stealing story! [email protected]

-2SLGBTQIA+ resources

In this episode:

-Eve discusses how she has used music and comedy to figure out who she wants to be!

-We hear the process and discovery behind the first song Eve ever wrote!

-Using gender as a metaphor for other things is a thing Eve loves to do in her music and writing!

-We hate the relationships we have been in where we have forgotten who we are, but the comeback from those? It is the most powerful thing!

-Eve wrote a song for her parents and played it to them as her coming out!

-It’s okay to not know. It’s okay to not have it figured out. None of us have anything figured out!

-We each share three songs from our crying playlists with each other and let me tell you, nothing feels like more of a bonding moment than that!

-Taking scary plunges towards what sets our soul on fire is brave and beautiful! Eve shared her journey and it is gorgeous!

-Growing up means growing more confident and out of our “No worries if not!” phase and we love that for us!

-SHOUTOUT therapy! Always! Our longest and strongest relationships!

Connect with my guest:

-Follow Eve on Instagram:@eveparkerfinley

-Follow Eve on TikTok: @eveparkerfinley

-Eve’s album In The End

-Eve’s latest release, her comedy song Screw You Steve

-More of Eve: eveparkerfinley.contactin.bio/

Behind the scenes:

-Podcast production and editing made possible by: Alexi Johnson and the team at @604podnetwork

-Theme Music: Shawn Kangro

-Logo Art: @raphe.ca

Jackie Hoffart on getting access to the things we had barely let ourselves dream about

In this episode I got to chat with comedian, producer, host of New Moon Comedy and just all round wonderful human, Jackie Hoffart (they/them).

Connect with MDSML:

-Join the FREE mailing list for queer joy! hilaurendeborah.substack.com

-Email the pod to say hi or share a limelight-stealing story! [email protected]

-2SLGBTQIA+ resources

In this episode:

-Check out New Moon Comedy! One of the best shows in Canada!

-Here we are with another story that involves my guest moving very, very far away from their hometown!

-This interview has big two-cats-per-house energy and we love it!

-How wonderful is it when you can see people on stage that help you discover or uncover your true self? What a gift!

-Jackie gives a wonderful perspective on how they feel about identifying as non-binary, for now, until the language catches up and I love it very much!

-In this chat, we hear how Jackie came out to themself first, and how big that experience is!

-Hot tips for how to start identifying as a lesbian in this episode!

-We are here to follow the butterflies that make us feel alive! And we are not taking anything less!

-As Jackie puts it, there are infinite ways to be non-binary. Theirs’ took the surgical route and they kindly share that experience with us!

-We are learning to make less space for folks to get our pronouns wrong! We have been choosing our battles, and maybe it is time to change that!

Connect with my guest:

-Follow New Moon Comedy on Instagram: @moonbasedcomedy

-Follow Jackie on Instagram: @ostensiblyclear

Resources:

-Check out YVR Funny!

-The article Jackie wrote in 2003!

Behind the scenes:

-Podcast production and editing made possible by: Alexi Johnson and the team at @604podnetwork

-Theme Music: Shawn Kangro

-Logo Art: @raphe.ca

Limelight Mailbag with Jason T. Gaffney

In this month's (and our first ever) Limelight Mailbag episode, I am joined by my wonderful co-host; filmmaker, podcaster, writer and dear friend Jason T. Gaffney! (P.S. I get so excited my voice goes high-pitched several times and Zoom is like “Nope! No sound here!”)

We unpack this month’s limelight-stealing submission from Karen'Nicole.

Connect with MDSML:

-Join the FREE mailing list for queer joy! hilaurendeborah.substack.com

-Email the pod to say hi or share a limelight-stealing story! [email protected]

-2SLGBTQIA+ resources

Connect with Jason:

-Follow Jason on Instagram! @jasontgaffney

Connect with Karen'Nicole:

-Hire Me to Create for You

-karennicolemitchell.com

Resources:

-The London Writers’ Salon

Behind the scenes:

-Podcast production and editing made possible by: Alexi Johnson and the team at @604podnetwork

-Theme Music: Shawn Kangro

-Logo Art: @raphe.ca

Every Podcast » My Dad Stole My Limelight » S4 E9: Tony Pacheco (him/her/they)