#39 Better Sex Through Mindfulness with Dr. Lori Brotto

#50 Cuckolding 101: How To Explore It & Why It Can Be Good For Your Relationship With Venus Cuckoldress

Cuckolding is a controversial sexual practice that is totally misunderstood but it can actually be a really great addition to the right kind of relationship!

Today on the podcast we are joined by cuckolding expert, Venus Cuckoldress to debunk cuckolding myths, hear about the realities of it, and get some tips for incorporating it into our own relationships. In this episode, you will hear all about how Venus was introduced to cuckolding, starting her cuckolding blog and podcast, the reality of cuckolding in a healthy relationship, how cucking can bring you closer to your partner, why it is a male-driven fantasy, and so much more!

Venus then shares some advice and steps for anyone wanting to try cuckolding before explaining the challenges of finding a bull (third partner) and safety recommendations. We even discuss cuckqueaning, hotwifing, fantasies that don’t involve sexual intercourse, whether or not size matters, sexual denial, and the ‘vanilla’ sex life of a cuckolding couple. Finally, Venus tells us why cuckolding is a bad idea if you think it will "fix" your relationship. This episode is filled with some amazing insights into the wonders of cuckolding so be sure to tune in now!

Key Points From This Episode:

• How Venus discovered cuckolding.

• Why she started a blog and podcast about cuckolding.

• What cuckolding is in reality for people in healthy relationships.

• Her first experience of ‘cucking’ her partner and how it deepened their connection.

• Why cuckolding is not cheating and why men may enjoy being cuckolded by their partner.

• What compersion is and how it ties into cuckolding.

• Venus shares advice for any couples wanting to try cuckolding and the steps to starting.

• The challenges of finding a third partner (a bull) for a cuckolding relationship.

• Venus gives us some safety recommendations when trying out cuckolding.

• Why creating too many rules that become hard to follow is problematic.

• Cuckolding versus cuckqueaning and what hotwifing is.

• How to fulfill your partner’s cuckolding fantasies without actually sleeping with another man.

• The impact of making a comment about size during a cuckolding experience.

• Venus tells us what her size preference is when it comes to sex.

• Sexual denial in cuckolding and how most cuckold couples have a robust sex life together.

• Why cuckolding is a recipe for disaster in a relationship already littered with problems.

Quotes:

“[Cuckolding] is not so much about just your partner watching you or listening [to] you sleeping with somebody else because that's what everybody thinks it is. It's actually really a kind of special loving relationship.”[0:05:20]

“[Cuckolding] is like art, you can sculpt it exactly the way that you want, and it does not need to look like somebody else's piece of art.” [0:11:54]

“The fun part about being the woman in a cuckolding situation is that you really do feel like you have the power and the ability to have this effect on someone that is profound.”[0:20:25]

Longer Quotes:

“If there are any new couples listening out there thinking of making this list of rules, it's okay to have them. But just keep in mind that it may not be realistic to have all of those rules. I think what's most important is that she's safe, and she's comfortable, and that she's enjoying herself. What that looks like should really be up to her.” [0:20:04]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Venus — https://www.venuscuckoldress.com/

Venus Linktree — https://linktr.ee/venuscuckoldress

The Venus Cuckoldress Podcast — https://www.venuscuckoldress.com/the-podcast

Venus Connections — https://www.venusconnections.com/

Venus on X — https://twitter.com/CuckoldressV

Venus on Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/venuscuckoldresspodcast

Dr. Justin Lehmiller — https://www.sexandpsychology.com/about-dr/

Tell Me What You Want — https://www.amazon.com/Tell-Me-What-You-Want/dp/0738234958/ref

‘Does Size Matter?’ Bad Girls Bible Survey — https://badgirlsbible.com/does-size-matter

Bad Girls Bible Newsletter — https://badgirlsbible.com/newsletter

Other Episodes You Might Enjoy:

#31 How To Fix A Sexless Marriage & Reignite Fiery Passion with Laurie Watson
https://badgirlsbible.com/31-how-to-fix-a-sexless-marriage-reignite-fiery-passion-with-laurie-watson

#34 The Secret To Reaching Orgasm During Sex with Laurie Mintz, Ph.D.
https://badgirlsbible.com/34-the-secret-to-reaching-orgasm-during-sex-with-laurie-mintz-ph-d

#29 Experience Squirting Orgasms with Female Orgasm Expert, Jason Julius
https://badgirlsbible.com/29-squirting-orgasms-real-foreplay-and-how-guys-can-last-longer-with-female-ejaculation-expert-jason-julius

#49 Deep Throating Tips, Becoming A Hotwife & Being Confident Riding Your Man With Casey Donatello

Casey Donatello is a married, non-monogamous author and podcast host who embraces the Hotwife lifestyle. She is passionate about supporting others on their journey to becoming more confident and unapologetic in their lives and their sexual choices. In today’s episode, she shares her process of recognizing and pursuing a relationship dynamic and sexual lifestyle that she finds most fulfilling. We also discuss how she found a partner who aligned with her vision for life and sex and how they deal with jealousy, communication, and rule-setting as they cultivate partner-sharing experiences. Casey also offers practical wisdom on entering the Hotwife lifestyle, pleasing your partner orally, and embracing all aspects of yourself through nudism, content creation, and fulfilling sexual encounters. Tune in to hear all this and more from today’s candid and sexually empowered guest!

Key Points From This Episode:

• An overview of Casey Donatello and her introduction to the Hotwife lifestyle.

• Her relationship journey leading up to her current marriage.

• Jealousy in the Hotwife lifestyle and how her dates are structured.

• Rule-setting and the feedback process.

• Tips for those looking to pursue a Hotwife lifestyle.

• Why it’s essential to share your sexual aspirations with a potential partner.

• Casey’s opinion on how to give your partner a good blow job!

• Advice for finding the confidence to talk dirty.

• Our guest weighs in on whether or not size matters.

• Advice for building confidence while riding your man.

• Why Casey doesn’t edit any of her content.

• How public nudism has supported Casey to find body confidence.

• Tips for women who are hoping to squirt.

• Casey’s complex journey into the lifestyle.

• The story behind Casey’s four books.

Quotes:

“[Hotwifing] is completely different than a regular threesome. Sometimes, it’s hard for people to understand how three people isn’t always the same equation. But it really isn’t.” [0:05:50]

“It’s like putting your relationship in a pressure cooker when you invite other people into your bed.” [0:08:26]

“There’s no right or wrong to what you are interested in. It’s just that you and your partner [have to] agree on it.”[0:19:06]

“A lot of times, people don’t want to talk about sex when they’re having sex, but that’s the best time.”[0:30:53]

“If you absolutely hate something or it hurts you, speak up! Don’t let somebody hurt your body because you don’t want to hurt their feelings.” [0:31:22]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Casey Donatello — https://caseydonatello.com/

Casey Donatello on Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/caseydonatello.official/

Casey Donatello on X — https://twitter.com/hotwifelife869/

In Bed Podcast— https://caseydonatello.com/in-bed-podcast/

In Bed with Strangers — https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CQT1R15/

Scarlet Surrenders —https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09PYX8DQB/

Scarlet Swings Higher — https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07RZVKQ3M/

Bad Girls Bible Newsletter — https://badgirlsbible.com/newsletter

Other Episodes You Might Enjoy:

#31 How To Fix A Sexless Marriage & Reignite Fiery Passion with Laurie Watson
https://badgirlsbible.com/31-how-to-fix-a-sexless-marriage-reignite-fiery-passion-with-laurie-watson

#34 The Secret To Reaching Orgasm During Sex with Laurie Mintz, Ph.D.
https://badgirlsbible.com/34-the-secret-to-reaching-orgasm-during-sex-with-laurie-mintz-ph-d

#29 Experience Squirting Orgasms with Female Orgasm Expert, Jason Julius
https://badgirlsbible.com/29-squirting-orgasms-real-foreplay-and-how-guys-can-last-longer-with-female-ejaculation-expert-jason-julius

#48 How Trauma Affects Your Romantic Relationships With Esin Pinarli, LCSW MCAP

What if your past didn’t have to dictate your future?

Esin Pinarli is a human behavior specialist offering psychotherapy to couples, using the Imago and Gottman methods in conjunction with emotional-focused therapy. She joins us to share her perspective on the deep-rooted beliefs behind our actions and reactions within the context of relationships.

We touch on how trauma affects us all, and common actions that trigger a trauma response within relationships. Tune in to hear how the support of a therapist can help everyone to unpack the experiences behind their trauma, how the four attachment styles impact our relationships, and how the pandemic has changed the way in which we relate to one another.

Esin also explains the role of our nervous system in creating connection and attachment, common reasons why couples become dissatisfied with their sex lives, and much more.

Key Points From This Episode:

• An introduction to Esin Pinarli’s counseling practice.

• Unpacking the buzzword, ‘trauma’, and how it affects all of us.

• Common actions that trigger a trauma response.

• The role of negativity bias.

• Advice for those seeking to address their trauma.

• How a therapist can support people as they unpack the experiences behind their trauma.

• The four attachment styles and how they impact our relationships.

• What the collective trauma of the pandemic has done to the state of attachment.

• Differentiating between introversion and the avoidant personality type.

• How codependency fits into attachment styles.

• Your nervous system’s role in creating connection and attachment.

• Why couples become dissatisfied with their sex lives.

• What effective communication might look like.

• Cultivating ‘the space between’ where intimacy exists within relationships.

• Simple solutions for the process addiction that comes from porn usage.

Quotes:

“People always think they have to qualify for trauma. Everybody has had a certain level of embedded trauma.” — Esin Pinarli [0:02:41]

“We should always be doing the work. There are just so many things in our subconscious that we are not aware of.” — Esin Pinarli [0:10:33]

“A therapist is somebody who will help you to make sense of what’s inside of you, and to untangle and unprocess that trauma so that it doesn’t dictate your future.” — Esin Pinarli [0:11:37]

“If you don’t have enough rupture and repair, you always end up feeling disconnected from your partner.” — Esin Pinarli [0:42:15]

“Not only do we have a dance with our romantic partners, a cadence and a rhythm, but there’s a space between us that is where the intimacy is.” — Esin Pinarli [0:43:13]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Esin Pinarli on Instagram —https://www.instagram.com/esinpinarli_lcsw/

Esin Pinarli on LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/esin-pinarli-73ab1722/

Eternal Wellness Counseling — https://www.eternalwellnesscounseling.com/

Codependent No More — https://www.amazon.com/Melody-Beattie-Codependent-Controlling-Yourself/dp/B004R125R4/

Bad Girls Bible Sex Tips Newsletter — https://badgirlsbible.com/newsletter

Other Episodes You Might Enjoy:

#31 How To Fix A Sexless Marriage & Reignite Fiery Passion with Laurie Watson
https://badgirlsbible.com/31-how-to-fix-a-sexless-marriage-reignite-fiery-passion-with-laurie-watson

#34 The Secret To Reaching Orgasm During Sex with Laurie Mintz, Ph.D.
https://badgirlsbible.com/34-the-secret-to-reaching-orgasm-during-sex-with-laurie-mintz-ph-d

#29 Experience Squirting Orgasms with Female Orgasm Expert, Jason Julius
https://badgirlsbible.com/29-squirting-orgasms-real-foreplay-and-how-guys-can-last-longer-with-female-ejaculation-expert-jason-julius

#47 How To Have Sex Every Day with Caitlin & Michael Doemner

Today on the podcast we welcome Caitlin and Michael Doemner, authors of Sex Every Day, who are sharing with us some hands-on tips for enjoying sexual intimacy on a daily basis, regardless of busy schedules, kids and periods.

They talk about their three-step strategy for practicing frequent intimacy, including how you can communicate your sexual desires in a fun way and what you can do to ensure that both you and your partner are always satisfied. Before you think all of this is unattainable for you as a parent of young kids, hang on a minute! They have four kids of their own and advise you on overcoming the logistics of having regular sex with a house full of small children.

Key Points From This Episode

• The interesting story of how Caitlin and Michael got together.
• Why sleeping naked is such a natural and effective way to restore intimacy in a relationship.
• How the menu metaphor can be used to communicate and express sexual needs.
• The importance of being open to both give and receive.
• What you can do to maintain intimacy with your partner throughout the day.
• A quick review of the five love languages and what they each entail.
• Why it is important for couples to prioritize a woman’s pleasure.
• What couples with kids can practically do to preserve their intimacy and privacy.
• Why a period should not be stopping you from giving and receiving uninterrupted pleasure.
• And much more!

Tweetables

“It's really hard to be angry with somebody when you're laying full body contact naked with them and in bed.” [0:04:49]

“The intimacy and the passion, it doesn’t have to be intercourse …there's a lot of different ways that we can please our partners.” [0:19:45]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode

Bad Girls Bible Newsletter — https://badgirlsbible.com/newsletter

Sex Every Day: How to Prioritize Pleasure in your Marriage — http://www.lulu.com/shop/michael-and-caitlin-doemner/sex-every-day-how-to-prioritize-pleasure-in-your-marriage/hardcover/product-23974387.html

The Five Love Languages on Amazon — https://www.amazon.com/Love-Languages-Secret-that-Lasts/dp/080241270X

Pussy: A Reclamation on Amazon — https://www.amazon.com/Pussy-Reclamation-Regena-Thomashauer/dp/1401950264/ref=sr_1_fkmrnull_1?keywords=pussy%3A+a+reclamation&qid=1555401985&s=books&sr=1-1-fkmrnull

Sex Every Day Website — https://www.sexeverydaybook.com/homepage25989259

Sex Every Day on Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/QuotidianCoitus/

#46 BDSM 101: No 50 Shades of Grey B******t with Dan and Dawn

On the show today we welcome Dan and Dawn Williams, master-slave couple, kink enthusiasts podcast hosts and authors of the new book Living M/S! Our guests unpack their own experiences of discovering their submissive and dominant sides and how they found each other and each other's limits.

They explain some basics about the master-slave dynamic and how it fits into the broader world of BDSM and kink play. They explain the important role of trust and the things that are pivotal in making a relationship like theirs work. We talk a bit about the events, parties and activities which they enjoy and Dan and Dawn are so open and honest, explaining the erotic nature of their lives.

The conversation also covers, shame, abusive relationships and how sharing stories, using cards and watching porn can help certain couples.

Key Points From This Episode

• Dan and Dawn's awakening to their dominant and submissive sides.
• A little bit about how their master-salve relationship works.
• Earning trust and taking responsibility for mistakes. 
• Contrasting Dawns and Dan's average day with other relationships.
• Parties, dungeons and the BDSM play that the couple enjoy.
• The parts of play that each of them engage with.
• Considering the erotic and non-erotic elements of play.
• Some of the issues of shame related to submission. 
• Comparing a sub-dom relationship with an abusive relationship.
• The helpful act of sharing naughty stories and porn. 
• And much more!

Tweetables

“In our case, it happens to be a male led relationship where I happen to be in charge. What that means is that I take responsibility for everything in the relationship.” [0:03:45]

“If something needs to be addressed, it’s addressed head on instead of sideways. It’s a very authentic relationship where we’ve decided, what do we want this relationship to be.” [0:11:05]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode

Bad Girls Bible Newsletter — https://badgirlsbible.com/newsletter

Erotic Awakening Podcast — http://www.eroticawakening.com

Dan and Dawn Email — [email protected].

Living MS — https://www.amazon.com/Living-Masters-slaves-Their-Relationships/dp/1610981952/

The Kink Starter — http://www.eroticawakening.com/kinkstarter/