When you feel like giving up: dehoarding when it's really hard

Micro trends are ruining our lives. Here's what to do

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Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/

Today, I look at the impact of micro trends on our lives and how they are contributing to clutter and excessive consumption and the additional challenges hoarders face in this ever-evolving landscape of trends. I look at identifying our true style beyond societal pressures and resisting the temptation of constantly changing trendy items. Join me to explore the consequences of indulging in micro trends, the environmental impact of fast fashion, and strategies to make mindful purchasing decisions in a world dominated by fleeting trends.

• Impact of Microtrends on Hoarding Behaviour
• Hoarders facing unique challenges with microtrends
• Consequences of indulging in microtrends such as financial strain and accumulation of belongings
• Resisting the Temptation of Microtrends
• Avoiding constantly changing trendy items
• Thought exercise to identify personal style beyond external influences
• Understanding individual style versus succumbing to marketing influences
• Questioning motivations behind purchasing new trends
• Mindful Purchasing and Consumption
• "One in, one out" approach to purchases
• Delaying purchases to assess genuine interest
• Identifying if existing items can serve the same purpose
• Evolution of Trends and Impact of Social Media
• Trends in fashion and design propelled by personal expression and corporate marketing
• Acceleration of trends through social media platforms
• Accumulation of items due to shorter trend cycles and excessive consumption
• Environmental and Social Impact
• Production and consumption of fast, low-quality products contributing to waste
• Struggle of charity shops to sell items from past micro trends
• Encouraging individuals to opt out of supporting fleeting trends
• By addressing these topics, the podcast provides a comprehensive exploration of how microtrends impact hoarding behaviour, strategies for resisting trends, and insights into the broader societal and environmental implications of excessive consumption.
• FOMO in micro trends: dopamine, immediate reward.
• Consider the real reasons for wanting something.
• Consider delaying purchases to avoid micro trends.
• Hoarders face challenges with microtrends, self-control.
• Desire for personalization and expression; trends and fashions driven by corporations to fuel spending.
• Accumulation of unused items, struggle to declutter.
• FOMO in micro trends leads to regretful charity shop donations.
• Questioning motives, mindful consumption.
• Consider delaying purchases to assess true desire and value. Immediate craving may indicate fleeting trend.
• Microtrends are a challenge for hoarders, leading to more stuff, less money, and self-doubt.

How to cope with - or help - a partner who hoards, with Laura Silverstein, Certified Gottman Couples Therapist

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Podcast show notes, links and transcript: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-140-how-to-cope-with-or-help-a-partner-who-hoards-with-laura-silverstein-certified-gottman-couples-therapist/

This week, I’m with Laura Silverstein, a Certified Gottman Couples Therapist, who is a genius on how couples can improve their communication and the way they take each other’s needs into account. So we explore the complexities of living with a hoarding partner and the impact it has on relationships.

Laura provides anecdotes and advice on setting healthy boundaries, initiating difficult conversations, and the role of a therapist in couples therapy. We also discuss the value of authentic communication, empathy, and the idea that love requires continuous effort.

We look at the difficulties non-hoarding partners face in understanding their hoarding significant other, the impact of unresolved conflicts, and the evolving perception of quirks in a relationship. The conversation highlights the importance of open and honest communication, emphasising the need for both partners to be involved in decluttering decisions.

Join us as we talk about coping with – and helping – a hoarding partner in a relationship.

• Living with a Hoarding Partner
• Challenges for the non-hoarding partner
• Understanding hoarding behaviour
• Impact of conflict in relationships
• Approaching hoarding issues as a couple
• Communication and Decision Making
• Importance of open and honest communication
• Involving the hoarding partner in decluttering decisions
• Examples of different approaches to decluttering
• Setting Boundaries and Deal Breakers
• Clear communication and healthy boundary setting
• Communicating core needs with a partner
• A therapist's role in helping couples set boundaries
• Couples Therapy and Relationship Dynamics
• Role of a Therapist in Couples Therapy
• Encouraging honest and respectful communication
• The goal of therapy in relationships
• Valuing the time spent in a relationship
• Initiating and Navigating Difficult Conversations
• Approaching conversations in a positive and constructive way
• The "I like, I wish, I wonder" framework for expressing emotions and requests
• The importance of clear communication and avoiding misunderstandings
• Building and Sustaining Relationships
• Acknowledging each partner's needs
• Significance of authenticity, empathy, and mutual understanding
• Challenging topic of hoarding and relationship conflict.
• Understanding and accepting challenges of hoarding disorder.
• Improving communication, appreciating efforts, and showing love.
• Authenticity in relationships and understanding partner's pain.
• Respect partner's wisdom, avoid secrets and betrayal.
• Honesty and understanding create helpful solutions.
• Fear of hurtful conversations hinders creative solutions.
• Setting boundaries is important for relationships.
• Progress is non-linear
• Seeking respectful closure through difficult conversations is success.
• Leaving with integrity and seeking support.
• It's important to normalise conflict and focus on repairing relationships through understanding, communication, and meeting each other's needs.
• Importance of embracing differences in love and relationships.
• Advocate for needs
• Common conflict communication pattern is attack-defend.
• Skilled communication improves relationships.
• Acknowledging past communication issues, understanding partner's challenges, emphasising authenticity and love in communication.
• Authentic empathy and communication are key in addressing relationship struggles and finding mutual understanding and support.
• Focus on trust and communication in relationships to address hoarding issues.
• Discussing how to handle hoarding sensitively and considering different scenarios before making decisions.
• Honest communication and creativity in relationships.
• Fear of difficult conversations hinders creativity and problem-solving in relationships.
• Setting boundaries is crucial for maintaining integrity in relationships.
• Success in helping people navigate difficult relationship conversations, with respect and support.
• Success is about integrity and treating your partner well, whether working through difficulties or parting ways.

Chronic disorganisation with Jo Cooke of Hoarding Disorders UK

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Podcast show notes and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/

Today, chronic disorganisation with our special guest, Jo Cooke of Hoarding Disorders UK.

Chronic disorganisation impacts day-to-day living, from time management to project completion, and is closely connected to hoarding behaviours.

Jo’s written a whole book on the topic, so join us as we look into the overlap between chronic disorganisation and hoarding, executive dysfunction, and the impact of grief, trauma, and loss on these issues.

• Chronic Disorganisation
• Definition and impact on day-to-day living
• Connection between chronic disorganisation and hoarding
• Executive dysfunction and its effect on chronic disorganisation
• Understanding and managing energy levels using the "spoon theory"
• Physical self-care and its impact on organisation and management
• Grief, Trauma, and Menopause
• The role of grief, trauma, and loss in chronic disorganisation and hoarding
• Societal shift in openly discussing menopause and its impact on daily life
• Importance of self-compassion and understanding that disorganisation does not equate to laziness or lack of intelligence
• Impact of Covid and Societal Factors
• How Covid has impacted people's experiences, including loneliness, anxiety, and chronic overwhelm
• Contribution of technology, fast-paced living, and societal expectations to difficulty in focusing and staying on task
• Strategies for Managing Chronic Disorganisation
• Body doubling as a method to have someone quietly cheerleading alongside on tasks
• Importance of sustained attention, goal perseverance, and finding the right motivation and goal-setting approach tailored to individual preferences
• Achieving and maintaining focus on tasks through setting achievable goals, tailored to individual needs, and utilising the PACE approach (Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, and Empathy)
• Overcoming Chronic Disorganisation
• Importance of seeking help, defining what help looks like, and joining support groups to combat shame and self-blame
• The release of Jo Cooke's book "Overcoming Chronic Disorganisation" for pre-order and her online presence at hoardingdisordersuk.org
• Recognising trends in client needs, including bereavement, ADHD, and menopause, and challenges in organisation.
• Chronic disorganisation impacts daily living with system struggles, time management, and tasks.
• Hoarding and chronic disorganisation overlap due to executive functioning challenges, leading to repetitive acquisitions and disorganisation.
• Modern life is fast-paced with high expectations, leading to difficulty focusing.
• Body doubling can help remain on task.
• Focus on short and medium-term goals, not just the ultimate goal.
• Shame vs joy, playfulness, curiosity, and distress tolerance.
• Support group helped challenge self-blame and shame.

The Accountability Effect: Accountability, encouragement and mutual support when tackling hoarding and dehoarding

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Podcast transcript: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-138-the-accountability-effect-accountability-encouragement-and-mutual-support-when-tackling-hoarding-and-dehoarding/

In today's episode, I talk about holding yourself accountable by yourself. Then I talk about holding yourself accountable if you've got an accountability buddy. And then I'm going to talk about holding yourself accountable if you don't have anybody that you can talk about hoarding with.Because those are 3 really different situations with really different pros and cons and approaches and benefits as well.

• Accountability and Dehoarding
• An accountability buddy who is also working on dehoarding
• Mutual support and encouragement
• Honest and constructive feedback
• Using before and after photos for accountability and motivation
• Setting up times to donate or recycle items together with an accountability buddy
• Shared encouragement and sense of accomplishment
• Solo Accountability in Dehoarding
• Challenges of holding oneself accountable when nobody knows about the hoarding
• Joining clutter groups on Facebook or posting on social media for accountability
• A group Zoom session for hoarders to hold themselves accountable
• Setting external deadlines for accountability
• Using inspirational visuals and quotes
• Having regular check-ins and task schedules
• Tools for Accountability in Dehoarding
• Using productivity apps or reminder apps to track progress
• Finding features that work best for individual performance
• Rewarding oneself with non-material rewards
• The Concept of Accountability
• Reluctance to commit to accountability
• Acknowledgment of its effectiveness in achieving goals
• Personal experiences and strategies for self-accountability
• Tracking progress and setting deadlines
• Holding yourself accountable is crucial for productivity.
• Accountability involves planning and setting goals.
• Regular check-ins help achieve and motivate goals.
• Encourage and support each other for success.
• Accountability buddy supports, encourages, and holds responsible.
• Setting deadlines and visual, shared encouragement motivates.
• Seek accountability through social media and groups.
• Accountability involves self-discipline and planning to achieve goals.
• Regular self-check-ins help stay on track, providing motivation and a sense of accomplishment.
• Encourage support, set same time for tasks, share progress and tips with accountability buddy to overcome obstacles.
• Having an accountability buddy offers mutual support, encouragement, and honesty in achieving goals.
• Accountability buddy motivates donating items.
• Find accountability in decluttering through social media or online groups

How to tackle a laundry backlog - or how to summit Mount Washmore

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Podcast transcript: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-137-how-to-tackle-a-laundry-backlog-or-how-to-summit-mount-washmore/

Today, the daunting task of tackling a laundry backlog. In this episode, I discuss practical strategies to conquer Mount Washmore and take control of the laundry chaos. From decluttering to creating a laundry system, I look at ways to streamline the process and prevent clothes from piling up. I also touch on the environmental impact of overwashing and share experiences of managing overwhelming laundry situations. So if you're ready to conquer that laundry mountain and reclaim some peace, hit play for some valuable tips and insights.

• Addressing the Extreme Laundry Circumstances
• Using a laundrette to catch up
• Don’t berate yourself for the laundry backlog
• Practical Solutions for Managing Laundry Backlog
• Declutter to reduce laundry load
• Establishing a designated place for dirty clothes and towels
• Involving others in the household in the laundry process
• Creating a personalised system for ongoing laundry management
• Minimizing Overwashing and Unnecessary Clothing Purchases
• Advising against overwashing clothes to minimize environmental impact
• The environmental impact of overwashing, especially in relation to microplastics and microfibres
• Minimising new clothing purchases to reduce laundry load and simplify life
• Liberating Feeling of throwing away items in bad condition
• Identifying and removing barriers to doing laundry
• Streamlining the Washing Process
• Sorting laundry into darks, lights, and colours
• Containing laundry in bags or containers to streamline the washing process
• Disregarding special care instructions and putting items in the washing machine, finding that they come out fine
• The gruelling but necessary process of dedicating days to washing laundry, especially without a tumble dryer
• Challenge of managing limited drying space
• Doing laundry less demanding than cleaning or decluttering
• Gratitude for the invention of washing machines
• Consideration of organizing a Zoom accountability session for listeners and encouraging them to express interest
• Strategies for Tackling Laundry Pile
• Prioritising cleaning a few days' worth of clothes before addressing the entire pile
• Gathering all dirty laundry in one place and discarding items in bad condition without guilt
• Managing laundry by organizing tasks around the workday, not allowing the volume of laundry to overwhelm
• Alternative options for managing overwhelming laundry, including using a laundrette or paying for laundry services if necessary to alleviate stress and feeling of being overwhelmed by laundry
• Prioritise survival over saving damaged items.
• Efficient sorting made laundry process much easier.
• Efficient laundry process allows for multitasking.
• Outsource your laundry, let someone else handle it.
• Delegate laundry tasks, find a system.
• Overwashing sheds microplastics, buy less clothing.
• Procrastination leads to fear and anxiety. Start by ensuring clean, comfy clothes.
• In times of overwhelm, prioritise survival over waste and home livability over personal items.
• Without a tumble dryer, drying clothes is limited to 2-3 loads a day, making it difficult to keep things moving without dampness.
• It's important to be realistic about what to keep and donate while doing laundry.
• Options for laundry: do it yourself, pay for pick-up service, or drop off at a laundromat.
• Use a laundrette for extreme laundry situations, without feeling guilty.
• Laundry tips for efficiency and delegation.