523 | Navigating Conflicts - with Coach Dana Crews
59m
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ADHD reWired
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This week, ADHD reWired welcomes Coach Dana Crews back on the podcast! In this episode, Eric and Dana have a vulnerable and open conversation about navigating conflict, the difference between conflict and disagreements, recognizing emotions, and making space for people we love but may also–at times–disagree with! Find more from Dana: All about Dana at www.adhdrewired.com/coach-dana-crews Second Arrow ADHD Coaching at secondarrowadhdcoaching.com ADHD reWired Episode 498: Will I Ever Be Content? In this episode, you’ll hear discussions and tips about: Is conflict inevitable? What concepts come with conflict? / Thinking about the differences between conflict, disagreements, and avoiding conflict How can we disagree without the intense emotional state that causes more dysregulation? Differences between professional, personal, and family conflicts / Difficulties of transitions and the true size of ‘problems’ Behaviors based on patterns and experiences even though we’re not living in those moments and being stuck living in the past “We don’t have to agree with a person’s perspective.” / It’s not WHAT we’re disagreeing about – it’s about HOW we’re disagreeing. The importance of acknowledging the other person’s feelings / Can I make space? Can I have empathy or compassion for the other person? Holding space also includes active listening and being present / Mindfulness and grounding to be in the present Stating intent: What is the goal? Is the goal to be heard? To be right? To be understood? To come to a resolution? A compromise? (The three Hs: Do you need to be heard, hugged, or helped?) Getting to a place of collaboration, connection, and trust; a lack of conflict isn’t necessarily healthy The power of the pause, non-judgmental awareness, and recognizing one’s own tendencies and patterns of behaviors Starting arguments as a way to stimulate the brain / Feeling understood and also feeling heard can also be stimulating Getting stimulus sustainably and healthfully without it being stressful, unhealthy, or a detriment to ourselves or our loved ones Setting boundaries and laying down expectations when needing to take a break to calm down from a conflict / How to come back after taking care of in-the-moment emotions Possibilities of creative problem solving / Acknowledging one’s role in a conflict without blaming Stepping out of the content of a conflict and separating the emotion from the story you’re telling yourself Identifying and tuning into emotions / “The story I’m telling myself is…” / Avoiding shame & guilt spirals Leaning into emotion vs. pushing away emotion Resources & Honorable Mentions App: How We Feel at howwefeel.org Article :: Turn Towards Instead of Away at gottman.com Article :: Crucial Conversations Skill Summary Book :: Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg Book :: Rising Strong - Brene Brown Website :: The Center of Nonviolent Communication at Information :: Esther Perel: Understanding and Resolving Conflict How to Resolve Conflict (Esther Perel) Masterclass Information :: Paul Ekman - Emotions Revealed 🌟 Interested in group coaching and want to take your ADHD management to the next level? Go to coachingrewired.com to get all the up-to-date information on how to join our award-winning online coaching and accountability groups! 🌟 Interested in 1 on 1 coaching? Learn more and get in touch with Dana Crews at www.adhdrewired.com/coach-dana-crews !
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534 | Coaches Roundtable - Habits and Routines - S36 Week 4
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533 Coaches Roundtable - To Do Lists - S36 W3
Episode Overview: Welcome back to Week 3 of the ADHD reWired Coaches Round Table! This episode dives into the intricacies of to-do lists and how to adapt them for ADHD brains. Eric, Kristen, and Brian explore how traditional productivity tools often fall short for neurodiverse individuals and share strategies to make them more effective. We're kicking off early bird registraton this week for our summer coaching groups. Take Advantage of our Early Bird Special - Join for only $999. Offer ends May 27, 2024. Learn more at Key Topics Discussed: Emotional Connections to ADHD and Productivity: Recap of last week's discussion on writing letters to ADHD. Importance of addressing emotional issues to enhance planning and productivity. Reimagining To-Do Lists for ADHD: Brian explains the common struggle with to-do lists designed for neurotypical people and the need to tailor these tools for ADHD brains. Exploration of different approaches to using to-do lists effectively, including bringing real-life data into coaching sessions. Common Pitfalls and Solutions: Challenges with traditional to-do list items like vague entries (e.g., "doctor") and how they create confusion and resistance. Introduction of "vision verbs" to provide clear, actionable steps. Importance of specificity and context in to-do list items to reduce the mental energy required to activate tasks. Personal Experiences and Group Insights: Kristen shares her group's emotional and vulnerable discussions about old to-do list items and the associated shame. The benefits of having accountability teams and how they integrate with to-do lists. Scaffolding and the 'Why': Eric introduces the concept of including the "why" in to-do list items to connect emotional importance with tasks, boosting motivation and activation. Examples of how understanding the "why" can make it easier to tackle tasks, such as scheduling a vet appointment for a beloved pet. Practical Tips and Next Steps: Encouragement to experiment with new strategies and understand the trade-offs in time and executive function. Teaser for next week's topic on daily and weekly planning, routines, and managing transition times between tasks. Quotes: "Think about how long we sort of wrestle with things that are just sticking around on our to-do list, or even worse, start working on a task we've already done." - Eric Tivers "Tasks often create tasks. It's just called adulting." - Eric Tivers "You can spend time on the front end or the back end, but one of them makes you feel bad." - Kristin Marts Final Thoughts: The episode concludes with a reflection on the importance of re-engineering productivity tools to suit ADHD brains, addressing both the emotional and practical aspects of task management. Stay tuned for next week's discussion on establishing effective routines and planning strategies. Hosts: Eric Tivers Kristin Marts Brian E Join us next week as we delve into the foundations of daily and weekly planning to enhance productivity and reduce the stress of managing tasks. *This summary was generated using Ai.*
532 | S36 W2 Coaches Round Table
Description: In this episode of the Coaches Roundtable, hosted by Eric Tivers, the team gathers to reflect on the progress and insights from Week 2 of their , where we explore the relationship that we have with our ADHD. Listen in to the end to find out which coach says "F*uck You" to their ADHD and why. ADHD Letter Writing Exercise Discussion Eric initiated a discussion about the personal relationship with ADHD and the exercise of writing letters to ADHD. Kristin shared her experiences, emphasizing the therapeutic effects of externalizing her ADHD through writing, and how it helped her come to terms with her condition. Brian, on the other hand, initially found the exercise strange but later appreciated its value in processing and communicating with ADHD. Both Kristin and Brian agreed on the idea that this exercise has helped them build a deeper understanding and develop a more authentic relationship with their ADHD. Exercise for Enhancing Intimacy Awareness Brian shared his initial struggles with a particular exercise but emphasized its ultimate value in helping him become more aware of his vulnerabilities and issues with intimacy. Eric highlighted the power of the exercise in creating a sense of connection and normalizing experiences. A question arose about whether participants should be informed about the exercise's content in advance, with Kristin clarifying that such information could potentially alter the performance and resistance of participants. Personal Letter Sharing and Community Trust Eric and Kristin discussed the shift in approach towards sharing personal letters within their community. Eric expressed that he no longer insists on sharing, but encourages those who wish to do so, while Kristin emphasized the importance of respecting individual privacy and the value of vulnerability within their sharing process. They also noted that they revisit this exercise throughout the community's engagement, observing that participants continue to share and show trust in others' privacy. ADHD Experiences and Perceptions Discussion Kristin, Eric, and Brian discussed their experiences with ADHD and the impact it has on their lives. They talked about the tendency to view the current moment as a representation of the entire journey, and how this can lead to inaccurate perceptions. They emphasized the importance of acknowledging both the positive and negative aspects of their ADHD, and how this can help them stay motivated to use their tools and strategies. Eric shared his recent experience of writing a letter to his ADHD, expressing both gratitude and frustration towards it. The conversation also touched on some ongoing challenges in Eric's business. Eric Addresses Financial Struggles and Adhd Eric expressed his frustrations regarding the recent financial struggles of the business and the perceived lack of attention to financial health. He also acknowledged the emotional toll the challenges have taken and thanked the team for their support. Eric emphasized the importance of addressing the emotional issues related to having Adhd and how it impacts productivity and time management. Kristin and Brian appreciated Eric's candor and reflection. Eric ended the conversation by looking forward to the next roundtable discussion on planning and to-do lists. *This summary was generated by Zoom Ai.
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530 | When what was working stops working
Welcome, everyone, to a somewhat different episode of the ADHD reWired Podcast. If you’re new here, I'm your host, Eric Tivers, and today we're going to dive into a topic that's both personal and universal. And I’,m gonna get kinda vulnerable with you here. But before we get into that, I wanted to let you know, that our spring Coaching groups which start on thursday, is experiencing lower than typical enrollment this season, which is why with group starting this Thursday, April 11th, 2024, we’re giving you the the chance to join us for only $999. That’s 50% off my section, and $650 off Coach Brian and Coach Kristin’s section. Sign up by this Wednesay, by attending our last registration event wedneday at 12 pm pt / 3 eastern, or by going to coachingrewired.com and scheduling a 1:1 registration interview. Come join us for our lowest price since 2017, only 999. And with if you qualify for paypal credit, you can break it up over 6 months interest free. That’s only $166 a month. It’s the same great program, at a shockingly low price. Go to coachingrewired.com to get started with pre-registration. Add your name to the interest list. And we’ll be in touch. Our episode is titled "When What Was Working, Stops Working," and it's a reflection on the journey of ADHD reWired over the last decade, where we are now, and we’re going to end this short reflection with 10 tips that you can use when what was working, stops working. For those of you who have been with us from the beginning, you know that we've experienced an incredible journey together. We were the #1 ADHD podcast for 8 consecutive years, a title that we held with pride and gratitude. Our coaching groups grew consistently, and we were even featured as one of the innovative programs at the international conference on ADHD back in 2019 and we built a community that has been a source of support, inspiration, and transformation for so many. But as with all journeys, there have been twists and turns, unexpected challenges that have forced us to reevaluate and adapt. In the world of ADHD, this is a familiar theme. We find strategies that work for us, routines that bring stability and productivity, and then, for reasons often beyond our control, those strategies stop working. It can feel like hitting a wall, and it's a feeling that many of us in the ADHD community know all too well. In the past year, ADHD reWired has faced its own set of challenges. The landscape of ADHD support has changed dramatically, with a surge in new podcasts and coaching programs. When I started ADHD reWired in 2014, I beleive there were 7 or 8 other ADHD podcasts. I just counted on apple podcasts, 120 ADHD specefic podcasts! This influx, combined with the economic uncertainties that have affected so many, has made it more difficult for us to fill our coaching groups as we once did. And from talking to a number of other ADHD coaches out there, it looks like this is happening across the board. It's a situation that has prompted a lot of reflection and reevalution and has required me to make some really difficult decisions. For a decade, we've been on a trajectory of growth and success. We've built something truly special. During the peak of the pandemic we were doing 5 groups, and built a team to support this heightened demand. And over the last year or so, things have have changed. Over the last few seasons, due to decreased demand, we’ve went back to 3 groups, and even those have not been easy to completely fill. So we’ve lowered prices, which have helped, but I think between the economy and the current influx of other ADHD programs out there, what was working is no longer working. And, man, it’s hard when when what had been working for so many years, just stops working. But it's also an opportunity, a chance to revisit what we stand for and how we can continue to serve our community in meaningful ways. Our mission has always been to provide a space where individuals with ADHD can come together to learn, grow, and support each other. It's been about more than just strategies and tips; it's been about building a community that understands the complexities of ADHD and offers a sense of belonging. As we navigate this period of change, we're reminded of the importance of resilience and adaptability. We're exploring new ways to reach and connect with our audience, to provide value and support in a changing world. We're looking at how we can innovate both within our coaching groups, and in other ways to ensure that ww continue to meet the needs of our community. And most importantly, we're reaffirming our commitment to you, our listeners and community members. Your stories, your struggles, and your successes are what drive us to do what we do. We're here to navigate the ups and downs of ADHD together, to celebrate the wins and learn from the challenges. So, if you've been thinking about joining our coaching groups, or if you've been a part of our community in the past, know that we're here for you. We're evolving, we're adapting, and we're optimistic about the future. Is it uncomfortable? Sure is. But I still believe that we can do hard things. So "When What Was Working, Stops Working" is not just a reflection on our journey, and a check in about where we are at right now, it's a call to action for all of us to embrace change and continue to grow. And now, I'd like to share with you 10 strategies that can be helpful when what was working stops working: Pause and Reflect: Take a moment to assess what has changed and why the old strategies are no longer effective. Seek Feedback: Reach out to your community or a trusted advisor to get a fresh perspective on the situation. Embrace Flexibility: Be open to trying new approaches and adapting your strategies as needed. Break It Down: Simplify your goals into smaller, manageable tasks to regain a sense of control. Prioritize Self-Care: Ensure you're taking care of your physical and mental health to maintain resilience. Revisit Your Values: Align your actions with your core values to stay motivated and focused. Set Boundaries: Define clear limits to protect your time and energy as you navigate change. Practice Gratitude: Focus on what is working and express appreciation for the progress you've made. Stay Curious: Approach challenges with a mindset of curiosity and a willingness to learn. Celebrate Small Wins and practice gratidue: Acknowledge and celebrate each step forward, no matter how small. And here’s one more: And i’m serious about this one. Don’t struggle alone. Remember, change is an inevitable part of growth. When what was working stops working, it's an opportunity to explore new possibilities and deepen our understanding of ourselves and our journey with ADHD. Want to talk about this or any other ADHD related topics with me? Join us for Tusday’s live q & a. You can register at our newly designed website at www.adhdrewired.com