315; On Behaviour change, motivation & mindset barriers that keep us where we DONT want to be. Navigating change w/ Ella Whitcomb-khan
1h 4m
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100% Real With Ruby; no #BS health, fitness & mindset
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Ella: @thefitnesspsych_
Me: @transformxruby
Fearful that they are never going to change
Communication; with ourselves & others -
People think they SHOULD know how to do things
External goals
Both sides of motivation
Do we need to listen to ourselves and actually rest
Or do we need to act to build momentum
I know what to do but im not doing it
Tradeoffs
Saying yes to something = no to other things as well
Everything serves you in some way
Flexibility VS restrained/rugged flexibility
i never had it to start with but thats where social media c
Motivation
Helping clients tap into intrinsic motivation
Why the groundwork is so important
.. motivation
When we don't enjoy something (which we need to do things we don't enjoy to get to where we want to be in the sense that its so different from where you were, of course you wont like it at first - but thats the identity piece and then realising that it can be something you do enjoy (like i hated exercise to start with and then that all changed as i realised the benefits and saw it changing me physically and etcetc
I feel this is where alot of people slip up because they failed in the past before bc they are the ones doing it to themselves
Or even with a coach they feel like this is how it SHOULD be
So they don't open up that they need to slow down
All or nothing thinking
Being self critical in the process
How this holds you back
How to navigate it and move forward from it
Mindset barriers
Feeling like they should have their shit together and it should be easy
i want to talk about ways to build up our confidence bucket and finding proof & our track record of the past times we did well and how to approach it then if we havent got one in the way that we would like to proceed forward - when there really is alot of change into the new identity
and also how at times its a fear but not knowing that its a fear because we cant recognise the emotion
for example a client comes to mind: she started a deficit and she already preempts falling off and sabotaging and the whole idea of being in a deficit she feels hungry just from that!
You arent going to love it all the time
You will always come across resistance hard doesn
Not being so focused on our body means letting ourself go
CHANGE in itself
process of Change
Physical
Mental
Communication comes in there again
There is no normal
compartmentalizing VS catastrophizing and blending it all together
- duality of thinking
2 things can exist
Its not EITHER/OR
It is AND
------ that was perfect --- WHY was it? --- i didnt p
Change not being linear and different for everyone if its something we want to last because theres usually alot of work to do and how our past experiences shape our process - ie belief in ourselves. Belief in general
Needing to fail and fail to get there and reframing failure
how to breakfree from cycles,
When life disrupts you
When clients only do something for the outcome, what happens when they get the outcome
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/transformxruby/message
The episode 315; On Behaviour change, motivation & mindset barriers that keep us where we DONT want to be. Navigating change w/ Ella Whitcomb-khan from the podcast 100% Real With Ruby; no #BS health, fitness & mindset has a duration of
1:04:40. It was first published
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@karinnordinphd
@transformxruby
___
To become a new version of me i have to make different decisions
GROWTH MINDSET
Embracing the HARD
Facing resistance, its normal
Main specific i think theres something wrong with my body
evidence in the past
Self belief
PERCEIVED IDENTITY
SELF BELIEFS
Challenge
You will never have evidence in the past for something you want to create (thats new)
Intrinsic motivation
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Its easy to be motivated by the now
“I can never follow through with anything”
“People who have a heap of things on their list
Re-framing the way we think
tangible things you can do to create these shifts and discipline vs. skill development.
Learn to like it
Right now we may not -
Mind management
YOU CANT JUST GET THESE TOOOLS you need to to
Alot of people find this hard with a new way of eating
And then continuing it on
Same with waking up and showing up to the gym and keeping consistency
Because yeah cool we can start a habit do it for a while and then fall off
Cognitive awareness & flexibilityPOWER OF ACCOUNTABILITY
how and why to embrace failure.
how our mindset on behavior is often black and white, how to change the way we view this, and how behavior change actually works.
procrastination / self-talk that stops the acting part
Snakes and ladders
RELATEDNESS
I love how you said that so excited - people don't
People don't understand what they need
And tune into their feelings
What they want to feel or run away from
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/transformxruby/messageHard reality check
Let me know if you relate --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/transformxruby/message
#323; Iris Deadlifts - the answers to what you want with your physique, takes THIS!!!
@irisdeadlifts
@transformxruby
if you want to look toned outside the gym you have to look jacked inside the gym, and that’s more muscle than people think
Body change
Numbers on the scales
Thinking we will be happy when
Take the OUTCOME off the pedestal
The process is where it happens
People think all the answers are in getting lean
What it takes to get toned
What the body takes
People
We arent anti fatloss
But right context
Right mindset
Do the work before it so you make it easier
So you can get in and not struggle so much and see better results
Have a better
people think dieting is always the answer to what they are feeling or struggling with
When thats all they did they usually come to us
Fuel for fatloss
Don't starve it
When life is crazy, we take the toll on our bodies
When we feel out of control of life we take the toll on our bodys
Reactive living
that they will only get bulky if they do anything else or they are afraid MOSTLY for clothes to get tigher, pants to get tighter
progress is only about getting leaner - they havent expandded their meaning of that nor phsyqiue
they dont realise toned bodies have way more muscle
that as you get older its even more important
and that theres more to all of this than chasing fatloss
beyond all its damn fucking patience
People thinking bodies don't jiggle
Lifestyle bodies vs what we think we should be looking like
What the lean hard tight body requires
Your body isnt a passport photo either
6 months building
I've been doing this for a year and it's like I know that feels like it's a long time but really and I look back at pictures of myself after like a year and I I don't look like I'm really in shape at all you know so it's like it just takes a long time like years upon years of going through this and it doesn't mean that nothing is happening along the way it's just it's it's slow
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Take the photos, store them, leave them
Then compare year after year and see it in a zoomed out perspective
The aging body and still comparing yourself to your 30s
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/transformxruby/message#322; Bet on the future version of who; invest in the PHASIC process. Youre focused on the wrong things/ ben Maysfield smith
@ben_mayfieldsmith_
@transformxruby
#
Building from a more empty canvas, its a different dragon to fight - #
You cant keep trying to lose the last couple kgs or get to the lean without going through the other phases
The end physique needs to be built
If this is you, my biggest tips to help this period:
1- Focus on performance metrics
2- Accept bodyfat is part of the process
3- Understand scale weight is only data and not reflective of you are a person
4- Constantly check in with yourself, remember you’re more than the scale or photo
5- To build a dream physique, accept being uncomfortable
6- Journal your thoughts to prevent negative self-talk and challenge irrational thoughts of self.
# Doing hard things…”balance cant coexist when trying to change who you are”
Everything is phasic
Balance does NOT co exist with fatloss
With extreme goals
But its also not forever
Playing too comfortable can hold you back… we went from one bro extreme of hard core bodybuilding bro shit;... to now resisting the work - resisting things of like having
#
Sometimes its not in pushing harder but in taking an alternative approach
Sometimes you need to do unsustainable things to get to a place where you can find a new level of normal
But this is where social media lets you down
they always preach leaning down weight loss ove rand over
They each you ohw to lose weight and speak of that but hardly anything else
The 12 week transformations
Noone has patience for anything else
People hire coaches or do things only to lose weight
They wont subscribe or anything else
#
Trying to build muscle but be as lean as you can
Wanting to build muscle but refusing to eat enough because you are scared of the scale or gaining more weight
Your pants feeling tight when you say you want more defined legs which demands building muscle
People are mentality resistant to dieting
Unable to give a fatloss phase what it takes
Because despite not physically seeing results - theyre living in a limbo because they attach themselves so much to this lean
Waiting for the next fat loss phase
Wanting to cut calories
Scared to eat more
Scared to allow themselves more flexibility or to focus on a new direction
The why and the how. The answers arent always known at first
You need to have a flexible identity a flexible mindset that you allow to adapt, to pivot to evolve
As you go along it
-
Your balance and success criteria can evolve and change as you do and thats ok
Sometimes we don't slow down enough to realise our initial goals arent the now
We need to let go of obsessing over losing weight and what a scale says or these quantitative checkins
To allow us to understand HOW we geel, WHAT we need to focus on
How we can build a lifestyle we truly love
A live we can sustain any results we get
But also keep achieving more
Like it might be more obsessive to start with
I take that back
You may need to obsess more over prepping, planning, dealing with the discomfort of maybe eating the same thing every day and dealing with some reheated food
But it gets easier
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Most of those people didnt start that way with being so flexible either
Saying no to things means your saying yes to less desirable things you don't want
Isnt better if you choose your fuck yesses
the process so so important
You need to nail the basics and build the bricks
Going from really overweight to “lean” if you do it right in the sense that you are doing some form of resistance training
You will appear as though you lost fat and built muscle
Yeah you probs built some… but most was what that heavy body was already carrying around under it - if you really took it home with a coach, yes you will reveal a better physique but that works til it doesnt.
Instant gratification Why you will never get your goal in 12 week challenges; how a 12 or 16 week minimum is really only starting ground because of the complecxities of being human, behaviour and beliefs
---The identity of a dieter
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/transformxruby/message