143. [Relationships] How to communicate your needs

143. [Relationships] How to communicate your needs

This episode came from a listener request.

Please feel free to write into the show to request a topic you're interested in hearing Kalyna speak about.

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Major Topics Covered:

- How to express your feelings so that they're heard

-⁠⁠Non-Violent Communication⁠⁠

- How to set the intention of the conversation

- Understanding your audience

- Speaking from an "I" perspective

- Using "Move Toward" vs. "Move Away" from language to communicate your needs and get what you want

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142. [Relationships] How to stand your ground during an argument

This episode came from a listener request.

Please feel free to write into the show to request a topic you're interested in hearing Kalyna speak about.

Major Topics Covered:

- Setting boundaries during a conversation

- How to not be an emotional "punching bag" in a difficult conversation

-⁠Non-Violent Communication⁠

- How to manage elevated emotions

- How to utilize body language and tone to be authoritative with your words

- Uncover the unmet needs of a person who is frustrated

- Talking through how to meet the need of the person you're supporting

- Noticing the main aim of the conversation is to uncover the unmet need and link it to the emotion being presented to you on the surface (usually frustration or sadness.)

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*This is not therapy. This content is for educational purposes only. Please seek the support of a mental health professional if you need support in your situation.*

141. [Relationships] How to manage feeling defensive in conversations

Unravel the thought process that occurs when we feel defensive. If you have feelings of being defensive in conversation with your partner, friends, or co-workers, this episode is for you.

You'll learn how to better understand why someone is being critical, how to manage your emotions in the heat of the moment and how to deescalate the conversation.

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140. Enneagram Type Nine - The Peacemaker

Enneagram Type 9: The Peacemaker

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Introduction to Enneagram Type 9: The Peacemaker Type 9 individuals are often referred to as "The Peacemaker" due to their harmonious and accommodating nature. They are driven by a deep desire for inner peace, harmony, and unity.

Key Traits of Type 9:

• Peaceful and easygoing, Type 9s are adept at maintaining calm and diffusing conflict in their environment.
• They are empathetic and understanding, often putting the needs of others before their own in an effort to maintain harmony.
• Type 9s are often adaptable and accepting, able to see multiple perspectives and find common ground in differing opinions.

Motivations of Type 9:

• Type 9s are motivated by a desire for inner peace and tranquility, seeking to avoid conflict or confrontation at all costs.
• They value harmony and unity, often acting as mediators or peacemakers in their relationships and communities.
• Type 9s long to feel connected and at peace with themselves and others, relying on their ability to create a sense of calm and stability in their environment.

Fears of Type 9:

• Type 9s fear conflict or discord, worrying that disagreements or tension will disrupt their sense of inner peace and stability.
• They also fear loss or separation, often avoiding confrontation or asserting their own needs in an effort to maintain harmony with others.
• Type 9s may struggle with assertiveness or self-assertion, fearing that standing up for themselves will cause conflict or rejection.

Unique Ways Type 9 Navigates the World:

• Type 9s are diplomatic and inclusive, often seeking to find common ground and compromise in conflicting situations.
• They are patient and tolerant, able to listen to differing opinions and perspectives without judgment or criticism.
• Type 9s value unity and collaboration, preferring to work together with others towards shared goals and objectives.

Growth Areas for Type 9:

• Assertiveness: Type 9s can benefit from developing assertiveness skills and learning to assert their own needs and boundaries in relationships.
• Self-Awareness: Type 9s may find growth in cultivating self-awareness and mindfulness, allowing themselves to acknowledge and address their own desires and motivations.
• Conflict Resolution: Type 9s need to practice healthy conflict resolution skills, learning to address disagreements and tensions in a constructive and proactive manner.

Hornevian Triad: Compliant Type (Type 9) Type 9 falls within the Compliant Triad, characterized by a focus on meeting the needs of others, a desire for approval, and a fear of rejection. Type 9s often prioritize harmony and unity in their relationships, striving to avoid conflict or disagreement at all costs.

Center of Intelligence: Gut Center for Type 9 Type 9 belongs to the Gut Center, characterized by instinctual awareness and gut instincts. This center influences Type 9's decision-making, as they rely on their intuition and inner sense of peace to navigate life's challenges and maintain harmony in their environment.

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139. Enneagram Type Eight - The Challenger

Enneagram Type 8: The Challenger

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Introduction to Enneagram Type 8: The Challenger Type 8 individuals are often referred to as "The Challenger" due to their assertive and powerful nature. They are driven by a deep desire for autonomy, strength, and control.

Key Traits of Type 8:

• Assertive and confident, Type 8s are natural leaders who are unafraid to take charge and make decisions.
• They are independent and self-reliant, valuing their autonomy and freedom above all else.
• Type 8s are often protective and loyal, fiercely defending those they care about and standing up for what they believe in.

Motivations of Type 8:

• Type 8s are motivated by a desire for control and influence, seeking to shape their environment and dictate their own destiny.
• They value strength and resilience, often pushing themselves and others to overcome challenges and obstacles.
• Type 8s long to feel empowered and capable, relying on their inner strength and determination to achieve their goals.

Fears of Type 8:

• Type 8s fear weakness or vulnerability, worrying that they will be taken advantage of or manipulated by others.
• They also fear being controlled or restricted, often resisting authority or rules that they perceive as limiting their freedom.
• Type 8s may struggle with intimacy or emotional vulnerability, fearing that they will be betrayed or abandoned if they let their guard down.

Unique Ways Type 8 Navigates the World:

• Type 8s are decisive and action-oriented, preferring to tackle problems head-on rather than dwelling on them.
• They are protective and supportive of those they care about, often taking on a nurturing or mentorship role in their relationships.
• Type 8s value honesty and authenticity, preferring straightforward communication and directness in their interactions.

Growth Areas for Type 8:

• Vulnerability: Type 8s can benefit from embracing vulnerability and allowing themselves to be open and authentic with others.
• Empathy: Type 8s may find growth in developing empathy and understanding for the perspectives and experiences of others.
• Trust: Type 8s need to cultivate trust in themselves and others, learning to rely on their inner strength and resilience while also allowing themselves to lean on others for support when needed.

Hornevian Triad: Aggressive Type (Type 8) Type 8 falls within the Aggressive Triad, characterized by a focus on achieving goals, a drive for success, and a fear of failure. Type 8s often channel their energy and assertiveness into pursuing their ambitions and protecting those they care about.

Center of Intelligence: Gut Center for Type 8 Type 8 belongs to the Gut Center, characterized by instinctual awareness and gut instincts. This center influences Type 8's decision-making, as they rely on their intuition and inner strength to navigate life's challenges and assert their dominance in their environment.

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