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Communication is Key

22m · Excel Still More · 08 Apr 09:00

What is the most important key to a healthy relationship? Specifically, between a man and a woman who profess that they love one another? You might say, "faith." Which is hard to argue with. I address that early in the episode. But even faith, if it cannot be shared well, honestly, and fully, will always be lacking. That's the thing about communication. Getting good at that makes anything and everything possible. And yet, if two people cannot talk, hear, share, or understand, what good is a common belief, even if it is belief in Christ and His will.

As noted in the episode, being a Christian is the single best thing you can do for your life and the best contribution you can make to a healthy marriage. That means you possess the right kind of thinking and desires and humility and all kinds of good things. But what if you don't know how to give them to another? What if you don't know how to receive them from another? Communication. Is. Key.

- What is communication and how do verbal and non verbal elements affect it?

- Can I say the right words the wrong way?

- How does my face, eyes, and body factor into communication?

- How does communication change in your marriage when someone is wrong?

- Why is the best test of communication seen in times of testing and disagreement?


Sponsor:
Jon Cunningham, Owner, Cunningham Financial Group
Website: www.cunninghamfinancialgroup.com Phone: 205-326-7364

The episode Communication is Key from the podcast Excel Still More has a duration of 22:33. It was first published 08 Apr 09:00. The cover art and the content belong to their respective owners.

More episodes from Excel Still More

A Life-Saving Station

Sponsor:
Jon Cunningham, Owner, Cunningham Financial Group
Website: www.cunninghamfinancialgroup.com
Phone: 205-326-7364

NOTE - Two things below:
Passages from Philippians about the Gospel AND The Life-Saving Station

"In/Off the Gospel" -- I'd encourage you to make these phrases:
9 References: Phil 1:5,7,12,16, 27; 2:22; 4:3, 15

Life-Saving Station

On a dangerous seacoast where shipwrecks often occur, there was once a little life-saving station. The building was primitive, and there was just one boat, but the members of the life-saving station were committed and kept a constant watch over the sea. When a ship went down, they unselfishly went out day or night to save the lost. Because so many lives were saved by that station, it became famous.

Consequently, many people wanted to be associated with the station to give their time, talent, and money to support its important work. New boats were bought, new crews were recruited, a formal training session was offered. As the membership in the life-saving station grew, some of the members became unhappy that the building was so primitive and that the equipment was so outdated. They wanted a better place to welcome the survivors pulled from the sea. So they replaced the emergency cots with beds and put better furniture in the enlarged and newly decorated building.

Now the life-saving station became a popular gathering place for its members. They met regularly and when they did, it was apparent how they loved one another. They greeted each other, hugged each other, and shared with one another the events that had been going on in their lives. But fewer members were now interested in going to sea on life-saving missions; so they hired lifeboat crews to do this for them.

About this time, a large ship was wrecked off of the coast, and the hired crews brought into the life-saving station boatloads of cold, wet, dirty, sick, and half-drowned people. Some of them had black skin, and some had yellow skin. Some could speak English well, and some could hardly speak it at all. Some were first-class cabin passengers of the ship, and some were the deck hands.

The beautiful meeting place became a place of chaos. The plush carpets got dirty. Some of the exquisite furniture got scratched. So the property committee immediately had a shower built outside the house where the victims of shipwreck could be cleaned up before coming inside.

At the next meeting there was rift in the membership. Most of the members wanted to stop the club’s life-saving activities, for they were unpleasant and a hindrance to the normal fellowship of the members. Other members insisted that life-saving was their primary purpose and pointed out that they were still called a life-saving station. But they were finally voted down and told that if they wanted to save the lives of all those various kinds of people who would be shipwrecked, they could begin their own life-saving station down the coast. And do you know what? That is what they did.

As the years passed, the new station experienced the same changes that had occurred in the old. It evolved into a place to meet regularly for fellowship, for committee meetings, and for special training sessions about their mission, but few went out to the drowning people. The drowning people were no longer welcomed in that new life-saving station. So another life-saving station was founded further down the coast. History continued to repeat itself. And if you visit that seacoast today, you will find a number of adequate meeting places with ample parking and plush carpeting. Shipwrecks are frequent in those waters, but most of the people drown.

Thomas Wedel, “Ecumenical Review,” October, 1953, paraphrased in Heaven Bound Living, Knofel Stanton, Standard, 1989, pp. 99-101

Exploring Generational Shifts (Pt.2)

Sponsor:
Jon Cunningham, Owner, Cunningham Financial Group
Website: www.cunninghamfinancialgroup.com
Phone: 205-326-7364

12 Thinking Shifts Among Millennials/Gen Z Christians…
(The Second Six) by Wilson Adams

Each generation brings unique changes and challenges. Sometimes older generations sweep them away with broad brushes to the point they are discouraged from even having an opinion. True, not all opinions are workable, but some are. For starters, no one knows how each generation thinks better than that generation. How to reach Millennials and Gen Zs? Sit down and have a conversation.

7. A shift from affluence to sufficiency. Rather than being impressed by big churches with big budgets, Millennials and Gen Z have a more minimalist mindset: God gives us enough, so let’s use our God-gifts “as we have opportunity.” They see affluence leading toward less reliance upon God and more reliance on self (they are right). After all, if we have everything we need, why pray/surrender? Church affluence (big buildings, big debt, and giving to service the debt) is seen as opposite of Scripture-principle.

8. A shift from large buildings to homes. Church buildings that once housed hundreds (some places) are down to dozens while sitting on expensive pieces of property. Millennials ask, “Why?” Sometimes wisdom behooves us to downsize, seek greater kingdom vision than property maintenance, and move forward in more intimate ways to facilitate growth. I know Millennials who open their homes to weeknight studies. FYI: many of them do not have big homes.

9. A shift from “done for you” to “done with you.” Rather than looking at the back of heads, we may see more circle seating where worship is face-to-face. This translates historically -from long buildings of double aisles (50s-60s) to more rounded seating (70s-90s). It’s happening again. Younger generations seek more participation–less “spectation,” more activity–less passivity, more connection–less anonymity. Bottom line: they want to be used.

Changes in thinking don’t need to be unbiblical changes (auto default when questioning man-tradition). First, those with overseas travel experience know that brethren often do what God asks in expedient ways that work in their culture. Second, we obviously saw changes in a post-covid culture. Now, as culture changes more, will we notice and adapt (in biblical ways)?

10. A shift from going to church to being the church. Explain: Millennials hear “going to church” and equate with “going through the motions” and box-checking -because they've seen these attitudes displayed. They want more than ritual that doesn’t produce heart change. They want to be the church, live the gospel, and make disciples of those who look different than they do. Millennials and Gen Z do not care about race or socio-economic differences.

11. A shift from big-names to no-names. Millennials and Gen Z don’t care about big name preachers -they have no idea who they are anyway. They seek meaningful lives with God, a way to introduce friends to Jesus, and invest in a Good News message that changes people. Some of the biggest influencers for the gospel in days to come may be names you’ve never heard of.

12. A shift from dogmatic to pragmatic. Dogmatic: we’re going to do what we’ve always done whether it works or not. Pragmatic: we’re going to look for ways to get the gospel out of a church building and into the public square. It’s one reason coffee shop studies are gaining momentum (and conversions). Pragmatic and practical optimizes the first two letters in “gospel” – GO!

We must be like those who “understood the times” (1 Chron.12:32). Many Millennials and Gen Zs are active in standing for truth/sharing their faith. However, status quo is not a part of their vocabulary.

Exploring Generational Shifts (Pt.1)

Sponsor:
Jon Cunningham, Owner, Cunningham Financial Group
Website: www.cunninghamfinancialgroup.com Phone: 205-326-7364

12 Thinking Shifts Among Millennials/Gen Z Christians…
(The First Six) by Wilson Adams

Cultural thinking changes aren’t just coming, they’re here. In some ways, pruning-thinking is biblically healthy. It’s okay to ask about differences between God-authority and man-tradition (the thing Jesus confronted). With significant numbers seeking to reignite their faith into greater pursuits of evangelism, their observations should force us to re-examine our own commitment. Clarity: Each may not fit all situations, but represent general shifts.

1. A shift from shallow to deep. There’s a move toward more meaningful relationships and fellowship than shallow/surface. Sadly, sometimes we fail to know the names of those with whom we worship much less areas needing prayer and time-sacrifice to meet needs. “Hi, how are you?” “Fine” -can be the extent of connection. Younger generations have a deeper stirring. The same applies to a shift from shallow teaching to more depth. Millennials ask two questions: So? (information, digging deeper) and So What? (application of information). They want BOTH.

2. A shift from public to private. A church building can be incredibly public with hundreds gathering, yet offer a lack of intimacy and depth of relations. Millennials and Gen Z are not less spiritual, but can be more so because they seek involvement on a serving/private level. They seek connection beyond public assemblies -and want to serve and be used.

3. A shift from going-through-the-motions religion to relationship. Younger generations are not interested in box checking. They don’t want to show up just to show up. They crave connection -vertical with God and horizontal with people (often lacking in a Zoom-Room culture). I see generations caring deeply about helping hurting people and wanting a faith that makes a difference.

“There arose a generation who did not know the Lord…” Historically and contextually, one generation forgot to teach and the next forgot to learn -not what this is. Millennials and Gen Z want to know the Lord. In fact, they want to know the Lord more than just knowing ‘about’ Him (big difference). Clarity: My purpose is to have a conversation -not offering commentary on each application or the specifics of situations.

4. A shift from planning to praying. They’ve noticed that the more we plan, the less we pray. That’s backwards. We need to pray more and plan less (yes, some vision-planning is good -Prov.29:18). We need to plan, but leave room for God to lead the way. As numbers shrink (reality), Millennials and Gen Z are reminding us to shift from less reliance on self to more reliance on Him.

5. A shift from gathering to scattering. We tend to place a majority-emphasis on church building gatherings (gatherings are important and God-commanded), but we also see examples of New Testament scatterings. For one thing, Christianity exploded in Century One because persecution led to scattering (Acts 8:1-4). Persecution necessitates a sifting and sifting leads to a shifting… in thinking back to “GO… into all the world.”

6. A shift from preacher-trading to preacher-training -in house. There’s a mindset similar to sports: larger churches seek up-and-coming preachers groomed by smaller churches until they are ready to “move up” to bigger churches (even though they may have no prior relationship with them). Look for more in-house development of those known by the congregation -similar to the Antioch example of Acts 13:1-3. Maybe… some Millennials and/or Gen Zs would step up if... given a chance.


Holding the Cross

Have you ever seen one of those guys carrying a cross down the shoulder of the highway? Or standing holding one at a red light? If so, I have questions for you - lots of them? Primarily, what do you think about that? Would you ever do that? Are you doing things like that in connection with the direct instructions of Jesus?

My attitude has changed a lot about people who do things like that. I carried a lot of negativity for a long time. Looking inwardly about that was quite revealing. But now, my attitude is different. But more importantly, what does living a public faith look like in the name of Jesus? Certainly it doesn't require cross carrying. Or does it?

- Have you ever carried a physical cross?

- If someone did that to draw attention to Christ, would you support it?

- If we wouldn't do it, what are our reasons? Who does that say more about?

- Are you willing to pick up your cross and follow Jesus today? (Matt. 16:24)

- If you believe in the cross of Christ... "what are you going to do about it?"


Sponsor:
Jon Cunningham, Owner, Cunningham Financial Group
Website: www.cunninghamfinancialgroup.com Phone: 205-326-7364

Avoiding Self Deception

Okay, the photo for the episode was found after the episode was recorded. It just made me smile so I added it. We can often be a little more like Pinocchio than we should. But worst of all is when the person we are lying to is ourselves. This can be the hardest habit to break.

This episode looks at 5 Passages and a Story from the New Testament about how to identify Self-Deception and how to overcome it. I will provide those below for your own personal study and followup:

I Corinthians 3:18-19 - Overestimation of my own Wisdom - Always Be Learning!

Galatians 6:3 - Over Confident in Spiritual Position - Always Be Humble!

James 1:22 - Being a Hearer Only - Do What's Right!

James 1:26 - Not Bridling the Tongue - Monitor Your Words!

I John 1:8 - Say We Have No Sin - Admit Your Mistakes!

Guess who faltered in most of these areas in a short period of time? PETER. He was a good man and went on to be a penitent man, a man of faith, and mighty for the Lord. But in a single day he let all these elements of Self Deception lead him to sin. Later Christ found him, redeemed him, and put him to work. He can do the same for us. But we also must learn to be humble, careful students.

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