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S5 Ep10: Why is Leaving Comfort Zones so Challenging?

20m · Self-Awareness for Everyone · 03 May 09:00

The reality of what a comfort zone is Comfort zone is an inaccurate term. That’s because, though it implies comfort, mostly the zone is one of familiarity. You know it, what’s within it, how it works, and all that you can expect from this zone. It’s comfortable only because it’s familiar. When faced with the uncertain and the unfamiliar, having a comfort zone can and will make you feel stabler and better overall. The problem is that from within your comfort zone, your growth is massively limited. That’s because to grow, evolve, and command change, you must be willing to move into the uncomfortable. This is the ultimate open cell you can’t leave. Or more realistically, are afraid to leave because outside of it is the unknown. Trauma is a thing The truth is that I’ve spent most of my adult life in combat mode. I’ve fought depression. There have been many struggles finding and keeping jobs (and getting paid anywhere near what I’m worth). During most of my 20s and 30s, I moved through a lot of relationships and attempted to put my polyamorous, square-peg self into a monogamous round-hole box. I’ve struggled with my weight, self-worth, and working on balancing my emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical health, wellness, and wellbeing. In the past 15 years or so, things have shifted. A lot. My life is stable, and I haven’t the foggiest idea what to do with that. It’s like I subconsciously need the challenges, the drama, the issues, and the troubles. Because without them I’m feeling oddly stuck. Applied mindfulness Practice active conscious awareness. Mindfulness is being actively aware, here and now, of your thoughts, feelings, actions, intentions, and choice of a positive or negative approach. That present awareness opens the way for you to see not how it should be, or how “they” desire it to be, but how it is. This, however, can be really disconcerting. Particularly if you have been practicing mindfulness with a modicum of success. For example, via that practice, you’ve also made active choices and decisions for how to live your life, your way. How to leave a comfort zone One foot in front of the other. To quote Lao Tzu, “The journey of a thousand miles begins beneath one's feet.” The first step is to recognize that I’m in an undesirable comfort zone. The second step is to recognize that it is, in fact, mine to leave. Then, the third step is to acknowledge this. Skipping acknowledgment is the equivalent of recognizing that the first step out the door is a 2-foot drop, but not taking that into account when you take the step. After recognition and acknowledgment, the fourth step is to leave the comfort zone. There is, however, an important bit to keep in mind here. Why? What is my why behind leaving the comfort zone? To leave a familiar but not comfortable place is a good answer, but still doesn’t explore the next part. Where am I striving to get myself to? That’s the tough part. It requires that I strike a balance between where I am, here and now, and where I desire to be. To get from here to there, steps must be taken. This week’s Applied Guidance for Mindfulness Tool: If you’re feeling in any way stuck, examine if there’s a why you can put a finger on. If so, consider where you desire to be, then take the following 4 steps: 1.Recognize that you’re in an undesirable comfort zone. 2.Recognize that it is, in fact, yours to leave. 3.Acknowledge this. This cannot be skipped. 4.Leave the comfort zone. Repeat whenever you seek to make changes for yourself and your life. Author Website Email Instagram Facebook LinkedIn TikTok Blogs:titaniumdon.com and mjblehart.medium.com Cover artist Fe Mahoney: https://www.etsy.com/shop/TaliasInspirations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The episode S5 Ep10: Why is Leaving Comfort Zones so Challenging? from the podcast Self-Awareness for Everyone has a duration of 20:10. It was first published 03 May 09:00. The cover art and the content belong to their respective owners.

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S5 Ep11: Who Are You Competing With?

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S5 Ep10: Why is Leaving Comfort Zones so Challenging?

The reality of what a comfort zone is Comfort zone is an inaccurate term. That’s because, though it implies comfort, mostly the zone is one of familiarity. You know it, what’s within it, how it works, and all that you can expect from this zone. It’s comfortable only because it’s familiar. When faced with the uncertain and the unfamiliar, having a comfort zone can and will make you feel stabler and better overall. The problem is that from within your comfort zone, your growth is massively limited. That’s because to grow, evolve, and command change, you must be willing to move into the uncomfortable. This is the ultimate open cell you can’t leave. Or more realistically, are afraid to leave because outside of it is the unknown. Trauma is a thing The truth is that I’ve spent most of my adult life in combat mode. I’ve fought depression. There have been many struggles finding and keeping jobs (and getting paid anywhere near what I’m worth). During most of my 20s and 30s, I moved through a lot of relationships and attempted to put my polyamorous, square-peg self into a monogamous round-hole box. I’ve struggled with my weight, self-worth, and working on balancing my emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical health, wellness, and wellbeing. In the past 15 years or so, things have shifted. A lot. My life is stable, and I haven’t the foggiest idea what to do with that. It’s like I subconsciously need the challenges, the drama, the issues, and the troubles. Because without them I’m feeling oddly stuck. Applied mindfulness Practice active conscious awareness. Mindfulness is being actively aware, here and now, of your thoughts, feelings, actions, intentions, and choice of a positive or negative approach. That present awareness opens the way for you to see not how it should be, or how “they” desire it to be, but how it is. This, however, can be really disconcerting. Particularly if you have been practicing mindfulness with a modicum of success. For example, via that practice, you’ve also made active choices and decisions for how to live your life, your way. How to leave a comfort zone One foot in front of the other. To quote Lao Tzu, “The journey of a thousand miles begins beneath one's feet.” The first step is to recognize that I’m in an undesirable comfort zone. The second step is to recognize that it is, in fact, mine to leave. Then, the third step is to acknowledge this. Skipping acknowledgment is the equivalent of recognizing that the first step out the door is a 2-foot drop, but not taking that into account when you take the step. After recognition and acknowledgment, the fourth step is to leave the comfort zone. There is, however, an important bit to keep in mind here. Why? What is my why behind leaving the comfort zone? To leave a familiar but not comfortable place is a good answer, but still doesn’t explore the next part. Where am I striving to get myself to? That’s the tough part. It requires that I strike a balance between where I am, here and now, and where I desire to be. To get from here to there, steps must be taken. This week’s Applied Guidance for Mindfulness Tool: If you’re feeling in any way stuck, examine if there’s a why you can put a finger on. If so, consider where you desire to be, then take the following 4 steps: 1.Recognize that you’re in an undesirable comfort zone. 2.Recognize that it is, in fact, yours to leave. 3.Acknowledge this. This cannot be skipped. 4.Leave the comfort zone. Repeat whenever you seek to make changes for yourself and your life. Author Website Email Instagram Facebook LinkedIn TikTok Blogs:titaniumdon.com and mjblehart.medium.com Cover artist Fe Mahoney: https://www.etsy.com/shop/TaliasInspirations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

S5 Ep9: Sometimes Finding the Words for Your Thoughts and Feelings Is Hard

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S5 Ep8: Everybody Starts As a Beginner

Every great began as a beginner Whether they were a leader, writer, painter, artist, athlete, or whatever, they started as a beginner. Nobody enters any given field as an expert. Nobody. Yes, some people advance quicker than others. This is dependent on inherent skill and/or talent, how they learn, how fast they learn, natural ability, and all sorts of other factors along the way. Still, even those who have the most gifts and innate proficiencies begin as beginners. Nobody starts at the top of their game. Unfortunately, there’s a loud false narrative about the latently able starting at the top. It’s okay when you don’t get it right at the start There are, of course, numerous stories of people making lots and lots and lots of attempts before succeeding. Some of the most successful people in history endured tons of failures, false starts, and other challenges on the way to their success. They tried and failed and chose to keep working. They didn’t do the half-assed, half-hearted “try” Yoda warns against in my favorite quote, “Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.” They do. It’s an attempt, but an action that is doing rather than half-assed trying. The process is never the same for any creation, discovery, recognition, or success. The process, however, is similar. Thought leads to idea à Idea leads to actionable item à Actionable item leads to action à Action leads to learning from success or failure. The top of their game isn’t necessarily THE top The GOATs all began as beginners. Not a single one of them appeared on the scene fully formed, greater than any other, ever. Holding them up as the pinnacle of achievement is often touted as inspiring. Yet frequently it has the exact opposite effect. Mindfulness to reach the top of their game Very seldom, almost impossibly seldom, does someone luck into the top of their game. Unplanned success and achievement at any given thing is almost mythical, like dragons. Nobody truly starts at the top of their game. They do the work, they attempt and have small successes or failures, and they make new attempts again and again until they succeed. That action isn’t chance or luck or random happenstance. It’s mindfulness. Active conscious awareness is mindfulness. Success and what it is varies from person to person. Measuring success is a highly individual matter. What’s more, success is different for every individual. Maybe you’re a beginner, maybe in the middle, or maybe at the top of your game. Wherever you are, mindfulness is the key to getting where you desire to go. This week’s Applied Guidance for Mindfulness Tool: Try something you’ve never done before. Is there something you’ve been curious about trying out? Is there something new that has caught your attention you want to attempt to do? Might there be something you’ve not attempted because you were worried that you’d not be good at it? Do it. Take that thing and do it. OR, if there is nothing already in your queue, take up a new art/hobby/activity that piques your interest. Don’t worry that you might suck at it, that’s how everyone starts. Be the beginner and try this new thing. Write down what it is, how it goes, and how it’s making you feel. Author Website Email Instagram Facebook LinkedIn TikTok Blogs:titaniumdon.com and mjblehart.medium.com Cover artist Fe Mahoney: https://www.etsy.com/shop/TaliasInspirations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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