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Stay Calm to Diffuse Reactive Kids, Tending Your Garden [Family] That Talking Thing | S2, E10

21m · That Talking Thing · 17 Mar 16:00

Family-focused topics from Jason and Kim. We'll talk about a parenting hack: staying calm to diffuse reactive kids. Easier said than done! We'll also touch on the concept of "tending to the part of the garden you can touch" and how it is a good metaphor for how to get through crises in life, whether within your family, friends, community, and extending into problems throughout the world.

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Transcript: Season 2, Episode 10

Welcome back to that talking thing. I'm Kim I'm Jason. This is episode 10, season two, and we're talking about life topics. The first we need to wind to talk about our life. Uh, the first topic is as a parent, staying calm to diffuse anger and reactive behaviors. So this is something I think I wish I was better at when my daughter was two.

I'm getting better at now that she's 10. I found my self getting calmer and calmer and calmer. The more angry or reactive a child is when you talk to them about something and using calm words, using sympathetic empathetic language, it's not always easy, but it's interesting. I think as a parenting tactic to think about.

Yeah, it's so hard. And

one thing I noticed too, is sometimes the other parent can see, you know, like if our daughter, for example, is getting defensive about something she shouldn't like, why do I have to whatever do do this thing that I, or what shower it's like, you know? And we're like every day, everyone, everyone in the whole world showers about once a day, You have like 3000 times already.

Now this is like, why is it a surprise that you have to take a bath every day? Um, so she gets really defensive. Like I got to take a bath. And then if say you act defensively to that and you get engaged in this kind of like emotional conflict with the child. Like as an outsider, if I just haven't walked in, I'm like, I can see what's going on and tell like, oh, you let it get to you.

Or like you're taking it personally. And you shouldn't, but it's so easy as an outsider, or like when you see like another parent, like my brother with his kids and you're like, well, obviously he should X, Y, Z. And no, but the one I always say like in the shit, almost like when you're in the shit with your kids.

Cause that's what it is, is like, you're just like busy doing things. Yeah. So how do you cultivate that? You know, I don't know the attitude and the persona, like the, you know, the ability to. Wait and be calm and take it sometimes for me, it's like a sense of humor about it. It helps. It's like, oh, like, it's funny, like on some of it's funny that she's so like, it's like, this is crazy from the outside.

Looking in that is horrible to me to observe because I feel that you're minimizing their, how frustrated they are, how sad they are with laughter. Then I think they have something that they are justified in being upset about it's being laughed at her being upset. Yeah. So if you let that laughter get out, then it's just a different problem of you're laughing at them.

And then they're mad about that. And you're like egging them on. We re we were just on vacation. And so it was kind of really, it was a little easier. I mean, it was skipping ahead to future topics, but maybe one reason was that we were really self-conscious of like, no. You know, agitating the kids and it's like, why is it?

Like you have to walk on eggshells around your kids or whatever. They're like, I don't know. You kind of do. It's like respectful. Like they can't handle it. They're, you know, they're like, you don't have to stop playing video games. Is eternity that's forever. Um, we kind of recognize this with some of our customers not to make this business topic ori

The episode Stay Calm to Diffuse Reactive Kids, Tending Your Garden [Family] That Talking Thing | S2, E10 from the podcast That Talking Thing has a duration of 21:06. It was first published 17 Mar 16:00. The cover art and the content belong to their respective owners.

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Transcript: Season 2, Episode 14

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[Business] That Talking Thing | S2, E13

Business-focused topics from Jason and Kim. ...

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Transcript: Season 2, Episode 13

Welcome back to that talking thing. I'm Kim I'm Jason. This is episode 13, season two, and we have some business topics later on in the episode, we're going to be talking about AB testing, if that's your jam. But first up, we're going to talk about freemium business models. And if should every membership site have a freemium model?

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Like, so even if you don't have like a free product, almost every business is putting like free content out into the world. So I was trying to wrap my head around this and figure out how we could explain it to our customers. Patrick shared a tweet recently from Nathan Berry founder of convert kit. It was, you know, an audience is like a business hack.

Like one of the best things to have in your pocket when you're starting a new business, like just a runway to being more successful because you've created an audience and that's what people use freemium for a way to create an audience that's willing just enough to give you some personal information, willing to commit just enough to liking your stuff for some small downloadable PDF, for some access to something.

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Transcript: Season 2, Episode 12

Welcome back to that talking thing. I'm Kim I'm Jason. This is episode 12, season two. We have some life family topics, life topics, family topics, same thing. I wrote this topic a few weeks ago. I'm vague on what I meant with it. So we're going to peel back the layers of this onion and try to understand what I meant, but it's probably related to our kids.

They're 10 they're 13, they're getting older and the topic is empowering. Your. To care for themselves. When I think of this topic, I think it must relate to hygiene because I'm the kind of a hygiene, I'm the protein police and I'm the hygiene police in our home. And by hygiene, it's trimming your nails, getting a haircut, keeping your room kind of clean washing well and not smelling using deodorant.

Did I say using Q-tips so you don't have ear wax kind of just falling out onto your AirPods? Yeah. All of those things. It's probably rooted in this fear that people will at school will say my kids, the smelly kid, or the gross kid that the dirty kid or the kid covered in dog and cat hair. I don't know.

Hygiene is important to me to put on. Not that I'm like fancy and well put together, but I'm clean. Yeah. How does the topic of empowering kids to care for yourself? Translate as a mysterious topic? Yeah, that is a challenge. I think it's interesting. Your word choice, empowering the kids to care for themselves.

Cause it makes it seem like the kind of thing that we should like facilitate. Um, but like what you're also like for themselves or like yeah, empowering them. Like they have a toothbrush, you know, like what other sort of empowering, um, receiving reminders from us that your nails are getting too long. Your wax is in, you're hanging out right here, or it is time for that shower.

So empowerment to me means handing off the job of doing it, of communicating that it must be done to somebody else and putting them in charge that's empowerment. Yeah. I think the two of finding a way to get them to care about these things that they maybe don't care about. And sometimes other parents or books will tell us like, well, just wait, when they go through purity, they'll get interested in significant others and start to care about these things when they don't.

And you're like, I know some like 20 year olds that don't seem to care that they stank. So I don't want one of them

but that's like, yeah, how do we get that? So it's weird that trust as a lot of parenting is kind of like it's okay. Just love your kid and trust that it'll be okay. But if we care about this, we got to talk about it. Like, I guess we could care about ourselves if we're always like, yo your breast Mao's dude, or like making fun of them, um, or something, or like commenting, like, but it's so rude.

And like that one guy who, uh, there was some interview. Uh, a guy was talking, he studies like super successful people, become presidents and stuff like that. And he said like the formula is to have one parent that loves you unconditionally, no matter what. And another parent, that's like a hard ass and you can never please, and is like barely there.

And like, you know, you always want their affection and you re. And then I think the interview was like, oh, so how do you do that with your kids? He was like, o

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