SzeWing Vetault Podcast

We all have to face this challenge at some point in our life, whether it is about our relationships, career or business changes, moving to another location or into a new home. I certainly had a few of these "Starting over" episodes. I moved from Hong Kong to Norway, then to London, then Adelaide, Brisbane and eventually Sydney. I have been through a few relationships and career changes, and I can confidently say that starting over can be a really exciting event but it can also be such a drag. It completely depends on the way you look at it i.e. your mindset and the expectation of the outcome.  Endings are New Beginnings Endings are often hard for us, no matter we get to plan for it, or it just happens suddenly. Even if we have time to reflect and eventually commit to an end, it can bring up a lot of memories as well as the reasons why this relationship or that business started in the first place. You may know it 100% true in your heart that it is time to let go it doesn't mean it is any easier, it requires courage and trust in yourself. I remember when I decided to change my career path from economics and social policy to film and advertising. I didn’t consider all that much about the financial trajectory or lifestyle consequences, I was merely banking on passion and intuition. I knew I have to change, and even though I didn’t know where the path would lead me into, I felt I need to give myself a chance to and move on.  The same with many of my past relationships, I used to say, if the old one didn't come to an end, I wouldn't get to know the next one. But I have to admit, there were times I asked myself, will this ever end? I mean one unsuccessful relationship followed by another. "There are no failed relationships - you learn and grow from each one". When I look back, it was definitely true, but it was just too hard to believe and accept that when I was in the deep of it.  But we don’t get to be in the deep forever, we move on, evolve and grow.  So here are my approaches when it comes to starting over: Adopt a Growth Mindset  As compared to a fixed mindset, meaning we predict how things will turn out based on our past or beliefs. Try to allow life to surprise us, for the better, and try to avoid to be fixated on the way how things should turn out, be flexible to the notion that something better can come along. You do your homework, take the necessary actions and/or learning that are required for the outcome you desire, but after that, let go and be patient. Just like baking, you just have to let it rise.  Use Your Heart Intelligence There will be times when we are not sure if we have made the right decision or if the direction we are taking is right for us. That is normal and healthy. What we need to do is to check-in with our heart intelligence. We often have the answers within us, but we are so busy listening to the noise and our ego-mind chatter. Find a way to get quiet, whether it is through meditation, or going for a swim or walk in the park. Ask your heart what should be your next steps. You can always get an opinion from family or friends, experts, coaches or professionals around you, but remember those are just their opinions, YOU have the answers within you so don't forget to listen to that, as it is the most important one!  Create Your Support Network When you decide to start over and to end the last chapter, start preparing for the transition. If it is appropriate, tell those who are closest to you, let them know what kind of help or support you may need. It can be about giving you a hand on things or leaving you alone without giving you all their comments and how-to. You know what you need more or less of. People are often respectful as long as you can communicate clearly to them. Also look out for support groups, meet-ups or communities of people who are going through a similar transition. I know for sure you can find your group on social media.

Why should you stop procrastinating ? We have all experienced procrastination. We know what we need to do, and we know what is good for us, but we just don’t do it, or cannot bring ourselves to finish what we’ve started.  Your scenario may be about finishing a book you have been writing or wanting to write. Or you may have been trying to set up a non-profit or business for ages. It seems to take forever to finish that website or write that newsletter- the way you like it. You may have heard yourself saying “I’ll get back into dating/exercising/meditation/XYZ soon” but "soon" hasn't come yet.   All these just sound all too familiar. We keep procrastinating and it is draining our energy. There is an invisible reminder hanging on our shoulder and it is heavy, restricting and simply, not fun.  However, when we finally roll up our selves and get cracking, things tend to fall into two scenarios.  Scenario one, you quickly realize this “thing” you have been trying to do is just NOT for you. There is no point in hustling once you see the bigger picture. But you only get to know this after you get your hands dirty and on the ground.  You cannot go over it, you cannot go under it, you have to go through it! (Yes, this line is from the children’s book “We are going on a bear hunt” which I have to read to my daughter at least 3 times a week … ? But it really sticks with me now. Scenario two, once we started to do something about it consistently, we gather momentum and it just keeps getting easier and easier to move forward. The "thing" you have been so hang up on is not as nearly as hard as you thought. So how do we stop procrastinating?  Here is the thing, we all intellectually KNOW it, but in order to STOP it, we need to have a closer look at resistance and then understand what we can do about it.  Resistance is something you cannot reason with. It is a force of nature. It is like a shadow, it follows you and it should not lead you.  Everyone experience resistance, not just you. So don’t feel unworthy and starting saying in your head that you are not good enough, it is not meant to be or it will never amount to anything.  No. No. No. No. No.  Henry Ford said that “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you are right."  Resistance is like our ego, it is fueled by fear and therefore, illusions.  Resistance clouds your judgement, it stops you from seeing even if you are about to turn the corner, it hides the destination that is in front of you. Therefore, you can’t see how far or close you are in relationship to your destination. Three strategies to overcome resistance to change  Really know your WHY and watch out for the SHOULD If you have a heart-to-heart conversation with yourself, and really understand the reasons why you want to do/be/get/change, it will clarify and re-ignite your inspiration and supercharge your motivation. In comparison, the reasons that are caused by social conditioning will become apparent and you will stop to take those actions that are not in alignment with your values and beliefs.  I caught myself so many times in trying to do so much, and when I got so overwhelmed and exhausted, I had to be really honest with myself and select the single thing that matter the most, and it always comes down to the WHY when I have to make a choice. Find your path of least resistance  You may have a big vision, but please start with a small step. For example, you want to help 100,000 children to gain access to education. Start with how to help 1 child to get 1 book or get 1 organization onboard with your vision. Don’t try to run before you can walk. Start with the end in mind and reverse engineer what you need in order to get there. Then, set realistic milestone and stages, and take 1 action at a time. You will find it much easier to commit to taking one small step a day than declare you will get to the mountain top one day.

Some people need to see it before they believe it.  Some people believe it and they see it.  Since I was a little girl, I love to play with the energy between my hands, I didn’t know what it was about, but I just love that pausing sensation. As I came to learn about crystals and how they also contain energy, I was intrigued. Growing up in Chinese culture, the concept of “Chi”, which means energy, is something rather common and natural to us. Chi Gong is a very well known and widely practiced ancient healing modality. “Chi” is also a fundamental concept in Chinese herbal medicine. So I guess I have an easy start with energy-related healing modalities.  Is “Chi” visible? No. Not to our naked eyes. But is it real? I think so.  Is “Love” real? Definitely. But can we see it? I guess not!  It is the expression of love we see and experience. As with energy healing, once again, it is about the experience.  For me, if a healing session brings me more peace, ease and comfort, or more energy and balance, it is just simply a bliss. For some, it can help with past trauma, emotional and physical issues, anxiety and depression, and without any drugs or invasive procedures, it certainly is a worth-considering experience. This is what my interview with Shelley McConaghy is about. The healing experience. Shelley is an energy and crystal healer. Her first encounter with crystals was during a vacation when she was 8. Many years later, she took a two-day course on crystals and she fell in love with the energy and the whole healing aspect of them. Eventually, she became a professional healer and make crystals and energy healing as her work of passion.   In our interview, we also talked about how she now offer duo practitioners healing with her life partner, to bring in both feminine and masculine energy in the healing session. Now, speaking about her life partner, she told us about their love story, for instance, how they met and eventually work together, which is also truly magical.  Universe has a plan for each for us. Sometimes we just don’t know it yet, but all will be revealed at the right time and right place. If we force our way into things or fixed on the ways how things should turn out, we will just end up with frustrations and disappointment.  Believe it and you will see it. For more blogs and other resources, come and visit https://SzeWingVetault.com Interview Show Notes: Shelley’s first encounter with crystals and their energy How she became a healer The biggest change in her life since she followed her passion to become a professional healer Be aware of the false starts, and why a slow transition may be better for the long run for our career/business Our body is always telling us what we need to know How she met her life partner and how her intuition knows Working together as duo practitioner to balance both feminine and masculine energies Self-care and spiritual practice for a healing practitioner To become a great healer or practitioner, it takes time, discipline and work How to choose a healer or wellness practitioner that is right for you  The universe has a plan, trust it, lean on it. The universe has your back Shelley offers in-person healing in Northern Beaches NSW, Australia. You can find more information about her on www.DivineBalance.com.au You can listen to this week’s podcast on the top of this post, or on iTunes or any major podcast catcher. You can also watch our interview below. If you enjoy my vidoes, please subscribe to my YouTube channel and Podcast so you won’t miss a show! Last thing, if you haven’t signed up to my mailing list to get the inner circle news and my free eBook: 21 Days of Inspiration, make sure you sign up here!  https://youtu.be/csur8WmEe4k

In this masterclass, I spoke about our Feminine Spirit, how important it is to understand and balance our feminine and musculin energy within us, in fact, that is what the sacred union is really about. Also, how the role and expectations of women have been changing in the last 100 years and interestingly, how Goddess was actually the first deity to be worshipped since the beginning of mankind. I asked this question deep in our heart: "Who are we?" and "Who am I"? If you would like to get a boost on self-empowerment or to uplift your feminine spirit, watch the video or listen to the podcast for this week! I was up in Brisbane last Saturday to celebrate the International Women's Day with a group of conscious and inspired women at the Perfect Portion headquarter. I delivered this Masterclass live in person over there. It was my absolute pleasure to speak about this topic and I also really enjoyed the discussions and questions after. Everyone has a story to tell, and through people's journey, there is always a lesson to learn. Each of us has a unique gift to share with the world, sometimes it is about our talent or success, but sometimes it is about our experience and truth that inspire others. Although I couldn't share the live event with you, I've decided to record the talk/presentation content and share with you this way. This is a happy snap at the end of our event. To my left is the founder of Perfect Potion Salvatore Battaglia and to his left, Jennifer Jeffries who presented her Aromatherapy Insight Cards in the afternoon. One of the key question I asked in the masterclass was "Who are we?" as women of today. Mothers? Lovers? Teachers? Pathfinders? Carers? Healers? Leaders? The next question is "Who are you?". I spoke about the goddess archetypes during the masterclass to help individuals to see their inner patterns as well as those around them. By knowing and understanding the "who", we get to accept and appreciate the "why" a lot easier. For example, I like to use the example of Athena, the archetype of a strategist. As she is always smart, wise and intellectual. If you have an Athena sister and you just told her about your nasty breakup with your boyfriend, you may likely to hear something like "It is better for you this way." or "I think you should read this book, there are good information for your situation". And most likely, no big bear hug or chocolate or ice-cream... You get the picture. It is not that she doesn't care, but her responses may be VERY different from yours. If you have a Demeter sister instead (the goddess archetype of Mother & Nurturer), she will definitely love to look after you physically and emotionally. Not one is better than another, they are just different people. Later in the seminar, I also took the group to a quick Heart Intelligence exercise to connect with their heart and inner wisdom. The "Who are you" question inevitably leads to "Who do you want to become?" or "What is your deepest desire?". The exercise is effective and easy-to-do. If you would like to learn the technique, be sure to watch the video below or listen to the podcast! https://youtu.be/5qZn7_cdS-M

It is no longer a rare occurrence that most of us have more than one career change in our adult life. With the rapid changes in information technology and artificial intelligence, more and more likely we will face more opportunities and triggers that would launch us into a new career. In fact, we often hear new professions and businesses emerge in today’s world. Sometimes it may be a slight change, say from a copywriter to become a published author. Sometimes it can be a big jump, like my dear friend and business colleague Carole Gridley, who moved from journalism to advertising & marketing and eventually in aromatherapy. She is an aromatherapist, teacher and creator of Festival of Ariel, a brand of personalized natural perfume.  Carole started her career as a journalist and worked in the advertising industry long before she found her passion and purpose in Aromatherapy. I recently interviewed her and we talked about her journey with several career changes and how to manage such transitions. Sometimes our desire to change comes from the circumstances, but sometimes we have this inner calling that is driving us to move to another direction. To create an inspired and fulfilling life, we need to find work that is meaningful and enjoyable for us. And that is why it is so important to follow our heart, and really understanding what success means to us, individually, and what truly makes us happy. In this interview, we also talked about her "giving back to carers" project. To learn more about Carole, please visit: https://www.healthtouchmassage.com.au/ or email her at [email protected] Another useful resource you may find helpful is a book called Career Change by Joanna Penn. It has a step-by-step approach to help you to move into a new career. You can get it at https://thecreativepenn.com I mentioned in the podcast that I will speak at two events. The first one is the Aromatherapy and the Feminine Spirit - a special workshop to celebrate International Women’s Day on 9th March in Brisbane. The second event is the Goddess with Many Faces Masterclass, with special guest Salvatore Battaglia, founder of Perfect Potion, and it will be on the 30th March in Sydney.  Interview Show Notes Career Change: From Journalism to Advertising to Aromatherapy  Signposts that lead us to change  Self-awareness and inner calling emerge organically  How to handle career transition/s How the universe responses to our changes  Alignment and flexibility make all the difference Success means different things to different people  The importance of life-long learning  The use of essential oils for natural therapeutic purposes  Aromatherapy is a highly effective, individualized and personal practice  Give-back project  You can watch the interview here: https://youtu.be/YuWIzQaPKt8

It happens to everyone. There are days we don't feel as cheerful and positive as usual. Sometimes we feel disappointed or sad because something has happened or not happened in the way we hoped for. We may have missed an opportunity or made a mistake. Someone may have hurt our feelings, or we regret certain things we did or said. No matter how successful, healthy, wealthy or having it all together you may be, there are not-so-sunny days in life. But the thing is, sometimes we don't want to talk about that because we worry what people may think of us, or we don't want even to let people know. This blog and what I have included in the podcast is about how do we handle such times so that we can move through them more manageable and wiser. And trust me, it happens to everyone, and so you are never alone in this situation, which is essentially part of life. However, what I refer to here is not about chronic or clinical depression, it is indeed a different and more serious scenario, and I am not offering medical advice here and properly treatment may be needed in that case. What I have observed and experienced in myself and others are situations where our emotions are affected by our thoughts or mindset, and as a result, we feel down or unmotivated in what we usually do. Often such feelings we experienced is triggered by an external event, like what I have mentioned above. In many cases, it is about something we want to happen, but it didn't happen, or we don't know when it will or if it will at all. It may be about finding a romantic and lasting relationship, or getting a job that we love, or succeeding in our business and financial goals, or it can be about improving our health. There are a few things that I like to remind myself and others when I hear about this type of scenarios: Not everything is as it seems Sometimes the fact that you don't get that job or lover is actually better for you, perhaps even a blessing in disguise. We may even know it in our hearts, but sometimes the face value sounds so good that our conscious mind may say, it is a pity we didn't get that. But is it really? I believe the universe always has your back. So if it is not for you, then it is because the universe has another plan, a better one or you. It can also be the case of "not now, maybe later". There may be a lesson for you to learn, a skill to master, an area to grow. But until then, it will not be the best for you to handle what is that you actually want. You are not yet ready to reap the full benefits. I can attest to this wholeheartedly. I know for sure if I have met my husband earlier in my life, it would not have happened. I wasn't as mature to recognise his qualities, and I don't think I would have been a suitable partner for him. In any case, trust the universe and be more open about other possibilities. When we are not fixated on a particular outcome, we will realise we can actually get more than we bargained for! How you react or response is always your choice Now let's say our negative emotions are triggered by someone who disappointed or angered us in some ways. Sometimes we let the emotions get the better of us, and we reacted immediately and not necessarily appropriate. We may feel we absolutely need to say something or send that email or SMS right the way. With today's technology and power of social media, we can do that in an instant. But later on, we may regret what we said, or realise we misinterpreted it, or overreacted because we were triggered by something else. That is called the lack of impulse control. Partly it is about not having a regular zen or mindfulness practice. If we meditate in the morning, even for 5 mins, we set ourselves up for a calmer and clear mind. Or if we just breathe properly instead of running around multi-tasking, that will help too. There are times that we need to respond, as there is something to say or to act accordingly.

In this week's podcast, you will find my personal updates (my eating adventures in China) and my interview about true empowerment with Ashlee Noonan from Perfect Potion. I am super excited and honoured to be speaking at their special event for The International Women's Day 2019. If you in the Brisbane area, come and check out the Masterclasses: Aromatherapy and Feminine Spirit on the 9th of March. I will be taking a group of woman on a mystical and archetypal journey to talk about Heroine Journeys and how to navigator them with tools and tips. Jennifer Jeffries will be leading the Aromatherapy masterclass that day. You can listen to the podcast here or find it via most podcast catchers. Please subscribe to my podcast to get notificed about the next show! So this week's blog on Empowerement: You may have heard of a saying that goes "When a student is ready, a teacher will appear". Many years ago when I was going through some deep and reflective time, I heard a lecture by Marianne Williamson on A Course in Miracles (ACIM). Before long, I bought the book, and also I read many of her books such as A Return to Love, which is in Williamson's own words "like a cliff notes of A Course in Miracles". To this day, I still do the workbook exercises of ACIM, listen to her lectures and courses. For me, she is a truly empowered woman, not only because she is a best-selling author and lectured all over the world for 35 years. She is now running for the presidential candidacy for 2020. The main message of her campaign is clear, she believes that a moral and spiritual awakening is required to have deeper and meaningful conversations for this very critical time. Now, set aside any political views you may have, the fact she is running is already an act of courage. She is a spiritual teacher, not a typical politician, everyone knows that. There are people who would likely to criticize and ridicule her, almost to be expected. In her own words, she is 66 years old, a grown woman who is in a stage of her life that doesn't need that kind of scrutiny, but she is doing this for a reason. She thinks she can help and it matters to her to do the right thing, even if it is difficult. That is courage right then and there. If it is easy or comfortable, with no risks or nothing at stake, no courage is required. To do something that is scary and despite all can be lost (money, reputation, career, etc.), she still jumps into that, and it shows me only a truly empowered woman will do that. To take that leap of faith and fly high. Those who are willing to be vulnerable, to face uncertainty and to take hard decisions or conversations, are those who are willing to be empowered and they are able to do it again and again. There are many among us who are examples empowered men and women, just look around in your family, most likely not, there is someone who manage great odds and "made it", despite all challenges or disapprovals. To be empowered is also about believing in yourself, the difference you can make to those around you and in the world. Everyone matters, I believe we are all born for greatness, each having a unique contribution to make. in ACIM, it talks about how when a problem occurs, the universe has already found a solution, God has sent you. Sometimes we think so little of ourselves when in fact we can do or undo great things, and then on other occasions, we think so highly of ourselves, when in fact in our ego mind is only creating a storm in a teacup, nothing more than that. The difference is, when we think of thoughts of love, we can be powerful beyond measure because we will do the right thing for one and another. But when we are taken by fear, our concerns are only about ourselves, we shrink. No matter how hard one tries, it would never feel adequate or satisfied. So who would you rather be? The one who thinks and acts from the basis of love, or hostage to our ego and controlled by fear?

I interviewed my dear friend and colleague, Deborah Shepherd, about her many soul adventures in life. In 2011, she left behind a big corporate career to become a purpose-driven and spiritual entrepreneur and business leader. She founded the Embrace Life Festivals and ran it across NSW Australia for about 6 years. She nurtured and mentored a community of health & wellness practitioners and created a movement called the Gratitude. She is now planning to launch Soul Advisors in Australia, a global non-profit organization with its founder. She is certainly a busy woman who embraced change and achieved a lot of success in her life. We talked about the ups and downs in navigating these soul adventures, what are the lessons learned and how can we best prepared for and manage these changes and challenges in our lives. Here is the shownote: The leap from working in the corporate world to become a purpose-driven entrepreneur The good days, the bad days and lessons learned If you are not sure, meditate!  Everything happened for a reason, all experiences lead you to personal growth The Art of Letting-Go How to become more resilient and evolve What would you say to your younger self, a 20-year-old Deborah Shepherd You can watch our interview here: https://youtu.be/DKPnULk43T0 Subscribe to my YouTube channel if you would like to see more inspiring interviews! You can also listen to this interview as a podcast on iTunes or most podcast catchers. Just search for CoachSzeWing to download the show! You can find out more about Soul Advisors here at https://www.souladvisor.com/ The following is the transcript of our interview: Sze Wing: Hi! I'm super excited to talk to Deb today. Deb is my personal friend and we work on many projects before in the wellness industry and so today I'm really happy to be able to find the time together to have this interview and chat about one of my favourite topic, which is about authentic success, how do we embrace change and living a more inspired life which is a recurring theme on all my podcasts. Sze Wing: So this is the podcast called #ConversationsThatMatter and we're talking about stories from women that aim to empower other women. So today we have Deborah Shepherd with us who had been in so many different international corporate projects and worked in the finance industry and she had about 30 years of it and then you changed and you started your own business as a purpose-driven entrepreneur. And we're going to talk a little bit more about that. And she created the community called Gratitude and she delivered Embrace Life Festivals across New South Wales. She also has an online platform and now also doing consulting and mentoring. So she has obviously a few reincarnations of her career. And now you're leading a project called Soul Advisors. So I guess for my listeners will be interested to hear firsthand from the woman who has embraced so many different ventures in the business world. So our guest today is Deborah Shepherd. Welcome, Deb! Deb: Thank you Sze Wing. Lovely to catch up with you as you say we've been connected with each other for many many years. So. I look forward to being here today. Yeah. You know I often feel this is like a conversation you know imagine sitting in a cafe and then  we have our girlfriends and some I had never met that before and then you know that they all inspired to do something more in their life and then I often feel that I'm always a middle person to introduce them and you are too and I felt this is almost like one of those occasions. Deb: I think it's a combination of all sorts of things that you've just been saying. I think from memory because it is now quite a while since I left in 2011. But it would have been stirring for at least three or four years of me feeling that I had more to give to the world and something within me that needed to be expressed. Like a lot of people.

We all go through transitions. It is inevitable and they are meant to be soul-enriching. But there are times that it doesn’t feel that way. In this blog, I offer a few suggestions to help women to navigate and go through their transitions.