Podcast Minute Talk Show

Even if one orders a mere burger, it seems like everything these days comes with a side of pOLiTicS. I suppose most folks aren't accustomed to child leaders, yet they've been a thing since Ancient Egypt. This week's guest is actually old enough to have witnessed people misinterpret Jesus's message in real time. Yiggum Briggum, the father of the world renown Sex Explorer Yigg Briggum, joins the show solely to predict the inevitable demise of the President of the United States of America. His answer won't surprise you, so long as you've been keeping up to date with Life Magazine, Yiggum's favorite.

Especially when one stumbles and falls, we must always dust ourselves off and carry on. Avid Redditor, Obsidian Raymond, interprets such a saying as "every man for himself." He uses the social media platform Reddit, a well known cesspool of ignorance and immorality, as a means to brush the dust of his own failures into the eyes of the innocent and uninformed. But, hey... Here at Podcast Minute Talk Show we love giving everyone the benefit of the doubt! More importantly, we love putting money into great ideas thought up in less than ten seconds. This week we play a new game "Shark, Paper, Scissors," in which Aiden, Sean, and Tyler go full Hulk, showing off their entrepreneur skills via multiple viscous battles of product pitching. (Author's Note: whoever finishes the podcast first WITH PROOF enters a chance to feel disappointed with the lack of prize)

Much like the midday sun is hard to look at (and paint as a result), your future might certainly be an uncertain frustrating mess. What if your three closest friends, who also happen to be podcast talk show hosts, put their oracle abilities together and predicted your fate! "We Choose Your Own Adventure" is our latest segment that features an especially lovable loser... YOU! We invite you and and everyone you know, one at a time, to join us in a coming of age story that actually seems plausible.

"If WE classify food in different categories based on taste, do you think THEY would classify people based on their differing levels of sinful gluttony?" Thank you, this was an excerpt from my upcoming one man show titled, "One Becomes an Idiot, What Would One Say?" Unless the food is still alive or life has turned into a poor man's Pixar film, FOOD WILL NOT TALK. But, I bet all the pickles and jams in your cupboard WOULD be talkin', if they heard what WE were talkin' about on this episode of Podcast Minute Talk Show! Are eggs ravioli? Peanuts too? With the shell on, of course! Fun discussions concerning unCANny ingredients waiting here for all human viewers! Oh man, speaking of uncanny ingredients, today's guest is the world's greatest handyman and his youngest son (out of fourteen)! Often times the two will run short of building materials just before completing their projects, but luckily, Benny and Chuck Digger claim human bones to be universal replacements. Often times the two are asked why their business is called "Benny and Boys" when the staff is made up of two. Let's just say I included that Chuck was the fourteenth son for a reason, I guess, I should say he is the only son now. In an amazing coincident, fourteen episodes ago we introduced the world to the next hit podcast segment. Today we return right where we left the dwarf prince, Aiden, and the elf scholar, Tyler, our heroes, in the midst of battling wicked S'riddles in Demon Lord Sean's Tower of Babylon.

Man's best friend is a dog, right? Yes. Humankind is graced through their friendship of those silly boofers. Man's best ride is a horse, right? NIEGH. As if humans didn't prove themselves to be evil creatures well enough with slavery, we also turned horses into sad taxis. Sean and Tyler recount their horrible elementary school nightmares this week. In the basement of their school, scientists, funded by the government, are alchemy-ing MUTANT HORSE GIRLS? Mutant, horse, and girls... mhm those could be someones answers if they were playing beloved Podcast Minute Talk Show game "5 Second Quiznos!" Alright, alright, calm down everyone! I'll answer a few questions before ending this press conference. Yes, you in the back... well it's no surprise you all figured it out already. Sean does, in fact, win this 5SQ, just as he wins every other game of skill, luck, and chance he plays. Yes, the lady recording with the huge phone... oh, that's an iPad? Last question, c'mon make it count. Yes, you in front. Hello? You with the big head in front... I'm talking to you, the person reading this. What's your question? Oh my... well I wasn't expecting this. "Who's the prettiest person you ever did see?" I say, dear Viewer, you ought to be careful with the questions you ask. Any other poor sap might've lost it right here. I'm used to it I suppose... I suppose... I'll see my prettiest person when I join her up in heaven. That's assuming horse mutants don't go right to hell.

To subvert expectations one must first be expected to get off the couch! We here at PMTS love and adore the surprising amount of bottom feeding losers who suck our Earth dry of her natural resources... but, enough about you. Wob Tonka, famous(?), billionaire oil tycoon has left a few gifts in a few of his famous Tonka oil cans. Five gifts to be exact. Golden gifts, to be precise. Ticket-y gifts (to be clear)! For a man who, at birth, was injected with a rapid growth serum, designed by his father, to grow his infant body into that of a twenty-three year old man, Tonka actually has a remarkable ability to lead a company. Speaking of lead, sometimes the only way to get out of situations in which you owe too much money is filling the back of your skull with lead. To subvert expectations one must first... set them very low, right? Your meager achievements in life will possibly never compare to a baby's first steps, to your own first words even. The only thing that matters is what others think of you. An achievement is only such because there's a collective which deems its value . You don't exist unless you are perceived and judged by others. So, in reality not even the world nor our silly lives amount to squat in this infinite void because God is dead, and can never perceive us; however, in tune with this week's theme, I'd bet everything and everyone mean, well, at least somethin' I suppose.

The average American... do they really hold enough value to justify microchips being put in their brains in order to control them? Surprisingly, the answer is yes, but a more plausible method would be polluting Facebook with loads of fraudulent news! Enter the genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist, known to the world as William Henry Gates III. The man seeks only one thing in his sad, sad life; becoming best friends with Sean from 1 Minute Talk Show. Bill Gates is a little bit rough around the edges, especially considering he's trying to bring fringe back, BUT, give him a chance and maybe, just maybe, he'll redefine what it means to be super, super rich in 2020 (by not having a cocaine addiction). This episode of PMTS actually happens to be super, super rich with wonderful and emotionally gratifying storytelling! Aiden, Sean and Tyler create a surefire literary classic that stars everyone's favorite, hopeless goober, YOU! Let's hope you live 'till the end, both in the story and real life. In a cruel twist of fate, the end draws near for a dear crew and former cast member of 1MTS, Zach. For those who still remember him, thank you, cherish the memories Father Time hasn't stolen yet. As all of us have learned the hard way, don't get too attached to poor Zach, because he'll soon be heading for that long journey up to heave- I mean... college. Goodbye Zach! Don't get an STD!

2020 can't get any worse, right? Sorry babe! As we speak, it's becoming worse and worse in all the areas that we willfully ignore. In the end, it's all hash! Why don't you get busy and knit, OR WANK OFF, whilst you listen to the boys. This week our guest is sure to amaze you and'll open thine eyes to a career on thy rise; although, the gender and age ratio is a bit skewed. 600 year old Ancient Wizard Wizz Wazzum has the answer to all men's wildest questions concerning the universe, mankind's purpose and the reason my vision gets dark and blurry whenever I stand up. However, the jerks at PMTS, Sean and Aiden, cruelly poke and prod the Wizard because of his refusal to turn a pure man into a frog. The truth of existence aside, a second "guest" makes an appearance in this 19th episode. Don't be alarmed! The real Sean and "Cool Sean" are in NO way locked in a battle for total control of Sean's BODY. They simply cannot decide who must listen to the unrelenting nagging of their ex-wife!

There's only one thing greater than a sailor's love for the sea. Of course, that be the amount of garbage yer dumping' in it. Redefining what it means to be a pirate in modern America, our guest this week was birthed in (and will eventually die in) the ocean. As always here at Podcast Minute Talk Show, we experience character growth. On a show hosted by three white guys, there's bound to be conflict. An iced coffee will spill each time this episode is played. Maybe, just maybe, along with Aiden, Sean and the other one, you too can use this strife as a moment to improve your friendships and hearts. Although our hearts may temporarily disconnect, only one act can forcefully piece them back together. Since time immemorial, great poets and prophets have written of the cure to our wounded. relationships. Yes folks, I'm talking about the act of eating someone whole. Only when undigested, and sitting at the bottom of a living creature's stomach, can one truly communicate their deepest emotions. Three cheers for another filling episode of PMTS... and a quiet nod from the bastard in the back who knows what the hell vore is.

Dan Snyder, owner of the previously ill-named NFL team, the Washington Redskins, is just an average guy down on his luck. He figured the team name could continue to piss off everyone, yet no one who mattered, forever. Mr. FedEx said NO. Ladies and gentlemen, money talks. Thankfully, we here at Podcast Minute Talk Show also talk. Some of us more than others. We've heard your prayers and received your death threats. This week we've put together a special segment. Aiden and Sean have it good... beautiful wives (which they pass back and forth), huge schlongs, and a John Travolta signed Greaser jacket straight from the set of Grease 2 (which they don't pass back and forth due to it being too big for either of them). Needless to say, two-thirds of our boys have their lives paved out in front of them in solid gold. All while our poor Tyler lives day by day. He never knows which Denny's his next meal will be from. Holding in all his frustration, he always shows a smile. But, enough is enough... everyone needs to let that which has built up beyond imagination fly freely. This episode we bring you something unfamiliar, Aiden and Sean getting up... and Tyler Getting Off.