Rosemary’s Ladies: A Horror Movie & Bad Movie Review Podcast

A movie where the title character doesn’t show up until ⅔ into the movie and most of the budget was spent on leather pants, “Queen of the Damned” is one of those rare films that makes you say, “Twilight did it better”. Put on your favorite Disturbed song and headbang with us through the movie that spends way too much time narrating what the characters are doing, instead of giving them dialogue. Subscribe and join our coven of weird, won’t you?

Stats/info: 2002 - Directed by Michael Rymer, starring Stuart Townsend, Aaliyah, and Marguerite Moreau

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#nodead kids, #norealkids #nodemonkids. What happens when you take White Bread, Pumpkin Spice, and throw in some blue gloves and demon kids? Gary Oldman and Idris Elba happen. This week we watched “The Unborn” and boy were we amazed at how bad it was. The real mystery/horror of this movie was the age of the characters and the timeline of events. Listen in kids, as we discuss the overuse of establishing shots, slo-motion, and tired creepy Carl (Carl = Barto). Molly eats Doritos under a blanket for those who have Misophonia because she cares about the fans. Perhaps some mutual care can be found by being sure to subscribe and rating us on Itunes!

Stats/info: 2009 - Directed by David S. Goyer starring Odette Annable, Gary Oldman, Cam Gigandet, Meagan Good, Idris Elba, Ethan Cutkosky

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What do you do when some a**holes steal your money? Go after them of course! We watched the 1993 Leprechaun, another “so bad it’s good” horror movie. While the hero of our story, Leprechaun (Lep, for short) is dealing with a shoe compulsion, he manages to remain a master actor and a true thespian, clearly trained with the likes of Sir Ian McKellan. His commitment to his roles is truly astounding, rivaling even that of the great Charlton Heston. Alas, the only thing this film was missing was the "To be, or not to be" soliloquy from Billy Shakespeare’s Hamlet.

1993 - Starring Jennifer Aniston, Warwick Davis, Ken Olandt. Directed by Mark Jones.

CW/TW - We talk a little about the domestic violence/murder of Dominique Dunne. Start at 5 minutes in to skip this.

Pro-tip: If you’re going to build cheap cookie cutter developments over burial sites, don’t just move the headstones, move the bodies too, you fools. We watch 1982’s “Poltergeist” and discover that it’s not Carol Anne who is the victim in this movie, it’s poor Robbie, the forgotten child. Gather round as we go over the the great camera work, the ghost goop budget, and ghosts in fedoras. Oh and a piece of advice, don’t be jamming up people’s frequencies, ya’ll. However, jam-up ours and be sure to subscribe and rate us on Itunes/Apple Podcasts!

1982 - Directed by Tobe Hooper starring Craig T. Nelson, JoBeth Williams, Beatrice Straight, Dominique Dunne, Oliver Robins, Heather O’Rourke, and Zelda Rubinstein.

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Sometimes your budget doesn’t cover one fully trained parrot so you have to get two ½ trained ones. This week we DIVE (hahaaaaa) into the 1999 CLASSIC shark film “Deep Blue Sea.” What happens when you put a bunch of a**holes in an underwater facility with super smart sharks? The sharks win...or do they? Strap your goggles on and take a listen as we plunge (we got jokes) into the depths of the Deep Blue Sea. Drown us (can’t stop, won’t stop) with your love and be sure to subscribe!

1999 - Directed by Renny Harlin starring Thomas Jane, Saffron Burrows, Samuel L. Jackson, Jacqueline McKenzie, Michael Rapaport, and LL Cool J.

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Directed by Oren Peli, starring Katie Featherston and Micah Sloat.

We checked out the “real” found footage film, Paranormal Activity. We got the giggles during this recording, so join us in discussing paranormal law and how much of this movie’s budget was spent on string. Since we know this is a hot topic now, we also take time to really dive into the state of the demon economy, particularly the housing market and rising costs of demon college. Remember to subscribe for more legal tips on dealing with ghosts, and check out Stambovsky v. Ackley.

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Daphobia - noun - extreme or irrational fear of Willem Dafoe.

We (unfortunately) watch the 2017 live action Death Note movie, directed by Adam Wingard (Blair Witch, You’re Next), starring Nat Wolff (Naked Brothers Band, Paper Towns), Lakieth Stanfield (Get Out, Atlanta), and Margaret Qualley (Palo Alto, The Leftovers). Episode four gets us talking about when frosted tips are acceptable (pro-tip, it’s never), the differences between Eastern and Western horror, and the rise of excessive 80’s synth pop.

You lucky listeners get to hear barks and jingles of Ralphie Anne, the podcast pup as well as Molly’s hip audibly pop as she demonstrates man spreading for Jen. Anything is possible here! So be sure to subscribe! If you don’t, we’ll Death Note your ass (just kidding, kind of)...

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Youtube Channel reference - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0iT9jv0cn8

Third time’s the charm? Episode three snuggles us right into the 2012 mumble gore film “V/H/S” created by Brad Miska and directed by Adam Wingard, David Bruckner, Ti West, Glenn McQuaid, Joe Swanberg, and Radio Silence. Join us as we discuss frat boys, if cocaine works on supernatural creatures, and the pronunciation of the word “plethora”. Hear why we’re #teamsuccubus and #nokids/#nodemonkids/#noghostkids. This film is full of gore, ookie spookies, and creativity. Be sure to be kind, rewind, and subscribe!

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*dope ass trap music noises plays in the background* (yelling over the music) Episode two we somehow, accidentally...watch 2017’s “Baywatch” directed by Seth Gordon. We discuss how this movie ended up being 2 hours long, how many abs Zac Efron actually has, and why you always need group dynamics when it comes to solvin’ crimes. Who’s the mystery dude inserting random comments in the background? Who knows! Come join us in our second episode and like, totally subscribe, brah.

It’s our first episode! Do we know what we’re doing? Kind of. Should you judge us harshly? Heck no! In this episode we discuss the 2011 film “Absentia” directed by Mike Flanagan. As we dive into the plot and discuss the characters, cinematography and our thoughts, we soon discover that we say “um” and “like” too darn much and cannot remember the plot (oops). Join us in our first rambling down the podcast hole and be sure to ya know, subscribe. #nomouthhorror