You better watch out You better not cry You better not pout I'm telling you why Santa Claws is coming to town.

Welcome to Screenplayed, the fake movie podcast where we turn our film ideas into reality.

Do you believe in fate? What if I told you free will was an illusion and our destinies are controlled by some unseen force? What if I told you that source was also a significant source of iron and sugar for its size? In tonight's film, one brave man will follow the dangerous path of prophecy to its ultimate terminus: fortune cookies.

Come join us as we unravel the mysterious plot behind these sorcerous sweets, and what power lies beyond the crunch.

Confucius say: eat your cookie, turn on Screenplayed, and listen to tonight's feature film- Fortune

Welcome to Screenplayed, the fake movie podcast where we turn our film ideas into reality.

Everyone has a best friend. Someone they admire and can cut up with. Someone you trust and would never expect to literally stab you in the back.

This week we tackle the story of Brutus, the guy who did literally stab his friend in the back. And the chest. And the knee. And pretty much all over his body. At least 23 different places.

So throw on your best toga and hop in your chariot to head to the ampitheater for a showing of "Brutal"

Welcome to Screenplayed, the fake movie podcast where we turn our horrible film ideas into reality.

You know what this world needs now more than ever? Trash cans. You know what else it needs? Public Service Announcements telling you what the world needs. So with today's episode we thought we'd kill two birds with one stone and bring you a thought provoking short film that we hope will inspire change. We were also missing one of our hosts and quickly realized that without him our movies descend rapidly into chaos...

From ancient temples to an entire jet full of old soda cans, we bring you the inspired cinematography necessary to change the world. After all, nobody wants to see a planet covered with trash!

We'd all much rather see it littered with trash cans.

So throw that Blu-Ray you just picked up from Red Box in the garbage, and settle in for tonight's world changing Public Service Announcement:

Yes, You Can!

Welcome to Screenplayed, the fake movie podcast where we turn our horrible film ideas into reality.

When was the last time you were stuck between a rock and a hard place? Maybe at Thanksgiving when your brother started a political debate while he was passing your Uncle the cranberry sauce? Or when you had to choose between chicken or pasta for your last long distance flight? Well what about being stuck in the international waters of the Suez canal between two very rocky and very hard places?

While it may not have happened to you, for a few unlucky sailors this was the all too uncomfortable reality. From 1967 to 1975, fifteen ships were caught between opposing nations and forced to remain in the middle of the Suez canal. This is their story. From waylaid toy merchants to above-deck Olympics, in this episode we explore what happens when you take a big group of sailors, give them as much beer as they need, and force them to live together in the middle of a godforsaken wasteland. You know, like college!

So forget your passport, it's about time we take this ship to international waters with this week's feature film:

The Great Bitter Lake Association

Episode Notes

Welcome to Screenplayed, the fake movie podcast where we turn our horrible film ideas into reality.

Everyone knows that the rich lead different lives than the rest of us. Be it watering their grass with milk, playing badminton on horseback, or hiring someone to assassinate Jeffrey Epstein to cover up their sex crimes, the rich are on a - Wait what?

That's right, this week's episode takes a dive into the world of silencing a shitty person before they can spill the beans about how shitty you are. Follow along as chainsmokers, muppets, and garbagemen all race to the finish line that is ending Jeffrey Epstein's life in our latest episode: Cause of Death

Welcome to Screenplayed, the fake movie podcast where we turn our horrible film ideas into reality.

Who was your favorite celebrity guest on the old Scooby-Doo movies? Don Knotts? Sonny and Cher? Ted Bundy? What if you didn't have to pick, despite most of these celebrities being long dead? Through the magic of the silver screen we're bringing you all the hits. From nanotechnology to Lo-Fi Chill Beats to Study/Relax to, we've got you covered in this episode.

Join us as we isolate what made those classic Scooby-Doo celebrity adventures so successful, and completely disregard all of that in favor of creating our own terrifying adventure for Mystery Inc.

Alright gang, grab your Scooby Snacks and let's split up! We need to get to the bottom of this week's featured mystery: Scooby-Doo and the Hollywood Haunts

Welcome to Screenplayed, the fake movie podcast where we turn our horrible film ideas into reality.

If you could create your own personal horror movie, what would make it special? Murder? Mystery? A former football legend turned silver screen icon?

What if I told you we already tried that idea and it sucked? I know, I'm not surprised either. This week we discuss the classic film archetype of Murder Mystery, along with some of its most beloved tropes. From sprawling mansions to competitive applause, we've got what you've been looking for all this time.

So put on your Buffalo Bills Jersey and pack your knives. That's right, all of them. You'll need all of that and more to survive a night with this week's feature film: Mystery at 37 Knife Ave.

Welcome to Screenplayed, the fake movie podcast where we turn our horrible film ideas into reality.

This week we've got the government meddling with nature, we've got scientists telling them that's a bad idea, and we've got nature biting back. No, I'm not talking about the current political climate and the fight against climate change. What we've got is much less scary.

Continuing our month of otherwordly inspired flicks, we're throwing it back to the days of B-Movie dreams. Featuring giant monsters, military clashes, way-too-hunky college professors, and... a lot of weed? We're hitting all the tropes with this one. So throw on your lead vests and protect yourself from the radiation poisoning that you'll get from tonight's flick -

URGON: THE MILE HIGH MONSTER

Welcome to Screenplayed, the fake movie podcast where we turn our horrible film ideas into reality.

It's October, it's Spooky Season, and we're here to get you in the holiday spirit.

You've seen Transylvanian Count vampires, you've seen sexy sparkly teen vampires, you've seen a muppet vampire. You may be thinking, "At last, I've seen every possible vampire there is. I can finally rest." Well, guess again fan-Helsing, because we're about to hit you with Vampires of the Caribbean.

This week we kick off Spooktober with a not-so-relaxing vacation at a blood-sucker infested tropical resort. So grab your trunks, your flips flops, and don't forget to pack your crucifix because you're gonna need all of 'em when you book a stay at:

Club de los Muertos