Beyond Your Past Radio

Our guest on this episode of the podcast is Leslie Peters, RN. Leslie is a registered nurse, who left a career she loved, to step out of her comfort zone and start following her intuition and her heart, by sharing her story as a speaker, self-love strategist and accountability partner in self-care.

Leslie Peters is a woman who has spent a lifetime asking, listening and learning from others. The only person she never listened to was herself; she grew up, married and raised men with addictions. She trusted unhealthy people who loved her more than she trusted herself. Leslie says that this is actually the "Gift of her story". She felt no connection to her parents or husband - being an intuitive she knew she needed to feel connected for her survival. When she was 16, with the freedom of a drivers license, Leslie went in search of connection. 

She quickly learned that on the other side of the door of her home was a world where she could let her true self-free. The world became her home and the people walking down them her family. She routinely asked strangers thought-provoking questions about themselves; Leslie always found a way to relate. Their answers confirmed that she was not alone in her story and that she was indeed part of something bigger than her own small world - the greater good.

During our chat with Leslie, we cover areas including:

• What is living life with H.E.A.R.T., and how she discovered this way of living is not always easy, but so important.
  • Leslie shares the struggles she experienced in trying to live this way, and how she's been able to work through those challenges.
• Releasing the shame and anger she was holding onto for allowing herself to becomes something she wasn't, just to make others happy.
• How the ACES Study, (Adverse Childhood Experiences) plays a key role in all aspects of development; physically, emotionally, and cognitively.
  • Understanding your ACES score and how it affects not only you but others in your life.
  • Leslie's shares her score and what it's meant to her personally and in working with clients to help them understand their score.
• The healing that comes through neuroplasticity, awareness, education, and being in tune with yourself on a very deep level.

If you’re not familiar with ACES, we encourage you to google “aces score” or go to acestoohigh.com and other similar sites for more information on this groundbreaking study originally conducted by the CDC and Kaiser Permanente, and learn more about your aces score.

You can reach Leslie at LesliePetersRN.com or email her directly:  Info at LesliePetersRN dot com

Please consider sharing this episode with someone who might need it, and don't forget to rate the podcast and leave a review on your favorite podcasting app!

If you enjoy listening to the Podcast, why not consider helping to support us AND get a free copy of Joanne's book, Ditch Your Doubt. 

-Matthew Pappas, CLC, MPNLP & Joanne Cipressi, CHt, CNLP

All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the Beyond Your Past Podcast, on BeyondYourPast.com, and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on these podcasts or posted on the above-mentioned websites are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

Elisabeth Corey, MSW, and founder of BeatingTrauma.com joins me on the podcast as a return guest to discuss how writing and journaling can be an incredibly beneficial modality of healing. I first had the opportunity to chat with Elisabeth back in episode 38 as we discussed working with our inner parts to help heal trauma. Inner Parts work is a specialty of Elisabeth and continues to be a focus in her work with private clients and in her group sessions, webinars, and other resources created for survivors.

During my chat with Elisabeth Corey on this episode of the podcast, we're diving more into those aspects of writing I mentioned earlier:

• How writing from our inner parts can help us connect with what we don't remember.
• What exactly are repressed memories, why are they so crucial to healing, and what misconceptions are there surrounding these types of memories?
• How the idea that writing doesn't come naturally for so many but why it's so important.
  • On that topic, the type of writing that Elisabeth teaches her clients and those in her programs is not supposed to come naturally because of you're diving into areas of your life that you've spent years trying to forget. In addition, the coping skills that served us during traumatic events can be a cause of keeping certain memories repressed.
• How naturally, or not, do our inner parts take to writing and being given a voice?
  • Which parts are more resistant vs which parts are more open to having a voice?
• Connecting with your inner child and writing from a place of your inner child's voice and perspective, as opposed to an adults version of their voice.
• Flashbacks, and how they are not always the overwhelming memories that cause so much turmoil and turn our world upside down.
  • The importance of using these as a learning experience in writing to help uncover repressed memories.

This was such an incredible chat with Elisabeth and she dives more in depth to those topics and shares her vast knowledge in a way that is validating and inspiring. I hope you'll consider checking out this episode and sharing it with someone who might find it helpful.

Be sure and follow Elisabeth Corey, MSW on Twitter @BeatingTrauma and her website, BeatingTrauma.com, where you can also learn about her programs, webinars, and workshops.

Matthew Pappas, CLC, MPNLP

All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the Beyond Your Past Podcast, on BeyondYourPast.com, and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on these podcasts or posted on the above mentioned websites are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

Our returning guest for this week, Kelli Gettel, originally shared some of her story in episode 80, Life with Autism, CPTSD, DID, and Narcolepsy. If you haven't checked out that episode, you'll want to add it to a playlist on your favorite podcasting app and check out more of her story.

During our chat today, Kelli gives us an update on how her healing work is coming along, including:

• How she's learning to interact with her alters, and give them the voice they need.
• New memories of childhood trauma, including sexual abuse and being subjected to a pedophile ring.
• The struggles with trust issues, even with a therapist who you've been working with for a long time.
  • The challenges of opening up and sharing, trusting others to hear your story, and how you share.
• The strain that living with DID and other mental health challenges can put on a relationship.
  • The adjustments her husband is making and how much his support helps her and her family.
• Taking an active role in your healing, and educating yourself, as well as interacting with the survivor community for support.

Kelli lives in the central Pennsylvania area, with her husband and 3 children, including a 4 yr old who also was diagnosed with autism. You can contact her via email,  kelligettel at gmail dot com, if you'd like to connect with her.

Please consider sharing this episode with someone who might benefit from it, and don't forget to subscribe on your favorite podcasting app.

Matthew Pappas, CLC, MPNLP and Joanne Cipressi, CHt, CNLP

All conversation and information exchanged on the Beyond Your Past Podcast, on BeyondYourPast.com, and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on these podcasts or posted on the above-mentioned websites are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

Everybody has one, and it follows you around, constantly causing you to second guess your decisions. It creates an element of self-doubt, perpetuates anxious feelings, and generally make your life miserable if you allow it that kind of power. What is it...Your Inner Critic.

In this episode, Joanne and I are talking about the importance of not only recognizing it, but also responding to your inner critic This is such an important topic because it affects so many aspects of daily life, from personal to professional, relationships of all types. Virtually any aspect of your life is an opportunity for your inner critic to gain a foothold.

I wrote in a previous post on my coaching website about some strategies to deal with your inner critic, and in this podcast episode we take that post a step further and offer more thoughts and strategies that you can use to take back your power from that voice in your head that causes you to doubt yourself and your abilities.

• What does it mean to be in charge of your inner critic?
• How can giving your inner critic a name, be helpful and empowering?
• How your inner critic uses your past against, especially when it comes to struggles or perceived failures?
• How can you turn down the volume on your inner critic? What does that mean?
• How can separating yourself from your inner critic be helpful and how do you do it?

Remember, your inner critic is not your friend, it does not have your best interests at heart. It's there to make you believe that your best is not good enough, to perpetuate anxiety and unrest in your life, to steal your joy and contentment, and to bring self-doubt to the forefront of virtually every thought you have.

You can take back that power, keep your inner critic in check, and live life knowing that your past or present circumstances are not the end all be all definition of who you are.

Please consider sharing this episode with someone who might benefit from it, and don't forget to leave us a review on your favorite podcasting app. We would sure appreciate it.

Matthew Pappas, CLC, MPNLP & Joanne Cipressi, CHt, CNLP

If you'd like to be a guest on a future episode or have a topic for us to talk about, feel free to contact us. We love hearing from you.

All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the Beyond Your Past Podcast, on BeyondYourPast.com, and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on these podcasts or posted on the above-mentioned websites are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

I'm honored to welcome back returning guest, Vennie Kocsis, as we continue our conversation on how childhood trauma manifests itself in your life, both physically and emotionally. In particular, we're discussing the effects on dating and romantic relationships.

We had originally intended to dive into more areas, beyond relationships alone, during this episode but as often happens, there is so much to cover that we thought it best to focus our time on this important part of survivor life. While relationships can be difficult to understand and navigate for anyone, the unique struggles that childhood trauma brings into the equation, add a dimension that not everyone can understand.

Vennie Kocsis is an author, poet, artist, and survivor of Sam Fife’s Move of God cult.  My creativity is the therapy by which I have survived the memories of abuse I suffered in my childhood. There are many caves where memories hideout, and I intend to travel them all in this lifetime. I understand the journey through trauma recovery, and I am here to share it with you.

During this episode of the podcast, Vennie and I discuss some of the struggles for survivors and relationships:

• The importance that "no means no" regardless of the tone of voice you use to verbalize it.
  • Understanding the fear aspect, and how "the way we say no" to someone, can be based on your past experiences of sexual abuse.
  • How dissociation can take over when you are in a romantic situation with someone, even if they are completely safe?
• Understanding why survivors tend to try and justify the actions of others because of the grooming that affected our self-worth.
• Healthy boundaries: not only the importance of having them in the dating and relationship world, but also the struggles of trying to find a way to implement and enforce them.
• Being in a healthy relationship that ends, and the challenge of not going down the road of self-shame and self-blame for the reasons it ended.
• Can a little bit of hypervigilance be healthy in the dating world?
• Even in a seemingly safe social situation, triggers can arise that make us feel unsafe, and why it's okay to remove yourself and not feel bad about it.
• The trial and error that is part of dating and relationships for everyone, but especially for trauma survivors and knowing that even if you do something that you regret, it's not the end of the world and you can learn from it and move on without self-shame.

This is such an important topic, and we hope you'll share this episode with someone who might benefit from it. After all, everyone can use alittle validation and encouragement in this area, right?

Be sure and follow Vennie on VennieKocsis.com and Twitter, Pinterest, and Facebook.

-Matthew Pappas, CLC, MPNLP

My returning guest for this episode is my good friend, fellow survivor, and advocate for survivors of childhood trauma, Vennie Kocsis.

Vennie Kocsis is an author, poet, artist, and survivor of Sam Fife’s Move of God cult.  My creativity is the therapy by which I have survived the memories of abuse I suffered in my childhood. There are many caves where memories hideout, and I intend to travel them all in this lifetime. I understand the journey through trauma recovery, and I am here to share it with you.

I am a highly-sensitive, embodied Empath and integrated DID carrier.  I productively live with the aftermath left over from extreme child abuse. I  understand the journey through recovering from the shattering of religious and sexual abuse recovery.  I know the work it takes in returning to our original, authentic mind and inner child.  It CAN happen for you.  It WILL happen for you.  You can integrate the dissected pieces of yourself.  You can heal.  You can tell your story from a place of truth and vulnerability, rejecting critics and owning your own strength. I believe you.  I support you.  I am cheering you on! 

During this episode, we are talking about the Physiology of Childhood Trauma, and how sexual abuse affects not only our mental health but also our physical health. These effects can carry over into adulthood and cause not only the physical struggles of chronic illness and pain but the deep wounds created by the trauma create emotional challenges that affect virtually every aspect of our life.

Vennie has done a great deal of research on this topic and shares some of that knowledge during our chat, as well as her own personal experiences of the abuse she suffered and the ways she continues to heal herself.

• We also cover some of the misconceptions of childhood sexual abuse, and how it's not always violent in nature.
• The connection between the biological DNA change of the body’s bacterial defenses when a child begins to eat the same solid foods as the family AND the nervous system at the end of the spinal cord which runs into the brain.
• The damage to the physiology of a child when they are so young and how this can lead to misinterpretations of their body as they get older.

Vennie and I share this candid discussion because it's the things that not everyone wants to talk about. These are some of the effects of childhood trauma that not only she herself has experienced, but so many others as well, and that's why we are doing this series. To shed light on how being a survivor of childhood trauma affects you as an adult, but also to share the hope in healing and the important research that's being down by leading experts across the globe to better understand not only how is affected but also how we can heal.

Be sure and follow Vennie on VennieKocsis.com and Twitter, Pinterest, and Facebook.

Look for more of our chat and we continue this discussion during part II coming up on March 28, 2019!

Matthew Pappas, CLC, MPNLP

All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the Beyond Your Past Podcast, on BeyondYourPast.com, and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on these podcasts or posted on the above-mentioned websites are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

Recovering from childhood sexual abuse, narcissistic above, emotional neglect, bullying, or any type of childhood trauma is not something you can rush through. It's a long process, full of ups and downs, struggles and triumphs, and virtually every emotion you can imagine.

One of the things I struggled with during intense times of healing was the concern of doing too much, too fast, and overextending myself without doing proper self-care. I was all in on my healing, which is not a bad thing at all, but at the same time, I often neglected the signs that I was approaching burn out or at the very least the signs that I just needed to ease off the throttle a bit.

The more I healed, the more I learned, and the more I wanted to keep going. That's not to say there weren't times when I just wanted to quit, because believe me those were quite plentiful as well. Still though, I was inspired and driven to learn about trauma recovery and how it affected me and what I could do to help myself. My therapist warned on more than a few occasions to take breaks and not "live, eat, and breath" this stuff so much. Hindsight is 20-20, and if only I knew then what I know now...

This episode is a look back at a previous podcast episode, #27,  released back in 2017, and is one where I'm reflecting on this very topic of burnout in trauma recovery.

It's a good reminder for myself, and perhaps something to consider for you too, that the risk of burnout in healing from childhood trauma, or any type of trauma, is real but there are ways to help ourselves avoid this while still moving forward. After wall, we don't want to quit and undo all the hard work that we've put in.

With my co-host, Joanne Cipressi doing some traveling right now, this was a great time to launch this little project of re-releasing some previous episodes. Many of these older episodes are during the early stages of the podcast, and consist of me just sitting down and talking through my survivor journey.

I hope you'll enjoy this look back at my thoughts on how I dealt with this, by working through it in my head and with my therapist at the time. And remember, there is no time table in healing except the one you place on yourself. Give yourself the opportunity to heal at a safe pace and embrace the process, because the destination of healing truly is the journey itself.

If you'd like to be a guest for an upcoming episode of the podcast, we'd love to hear from you.

-Matthew Pappas, CLC, MPNLP

All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the Beyond Your Past Podcast, on BeyondYourPast.com, and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on these podcasts or posted on the above-mentioned websites are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

Our guest on this episode of the podcast discovered that his place of peace, of inspiration, of solace, was in the kitchen working as a chef. Spencer Gorman-Prow is the author of Solace in Chaos, a Chef's Memoir, which can be purchased on Amazon, both in paperback and in Kindle form.

An Executive Chef's memoir of how he was able to overcome seemingly insurmountable odds of child sexual abuse and tragedy and forgive himself in order to achieve success. Chef Spencer relates his journey to health, happiness and healing - all found within the chaotic nature of the professional kitchen. Prepare to be inspired and perhaps even find your own coping strategies within the context of your professional passion.

Spencer reached out to us to continue his journey of inspiring others by coming on the podcast to talk more about his story, including:

• How the childhood sexual abuse he experienced changed his life, and when he was able to begin working those memories as an adult.
  • The lack of support available to him and how he navigated most of his healing journey alone until he met his wonderful wife.
• Why he initially turned to alcohol as a coping strategy and a way to numb the pain of those memories.
• Working through the trust issues, relationship struggles, as well as the self-blame that he internalized as a way to make sense of what happened.
• How he began to find peace in the kitchen, and what cooking offered him as a place of peace amidst so much pressure.
• How journaling helped paved the way for Solace in Chaos to become a reality.
• The challenges of speaking out as a male survivor, and the importance of sharing your truth to not only aid in your own journey but also to help inspire others.

Be sure and check out Solace in Chaos, on Amazon. A resource that will surely inspire you to speak your truth, explore your passion, and not be ashamed of who you are and what you went through.

You can also follow Spencer on Twitter: @ChefSpencer68

Please consider sharing this episode with someone who might benefit from hearing Spencer's message, and don't forget to subscribe to Beyond Your Past on your favorite podcasting app.

Your Hosts,

Matthew Pappas, CLC, MPNLP & Joanne Cipressi, CHt, CNLP

Welcome back to the Mental Health Megacast, a semi-regular round table discussion with 3 mental health advocates, podcasters, and survivors of circumstances we’d rather forget, who are trying to find our way through life and make a difference.

To that end, the Megacast is the combined collaborative brain powers (more or less) of Wes from AudioRising.com and Mike from MikesOpenJournal.com, and myself.  I encourage you to check out and follow them online and through your favorite podcasting platform. Each of these guys has a tremendous message to share and an inspiring and unique way in how they go about it.

In this episode,

Wes brought up the topic of how we act and react around family members, and those who aren't necessarily active in mental health advocacy circles.

We discuss the challenges of living authentically both inside and outside the world of mental health and recovery.

• • What that authenticity looks like with family members vs friends vs colleagues vs those online who we interact with in our advocacy work.
• The challenges that arise when certain things are considered okay to say or talk about in some circles but not okay in others.
• The importance of fostering not only relationships with people who understand your struggles and the work you do in healing, but also those relationships that are just about having fun, relaxing, and blowing off steam...how this can be a form of self-care.
• The comfort level of sharing, and how much to share with those who don't necessarily understand life in recovery or what a healing journey is when they ask you to talk about it. The importance of not judging what we think they may or not understand, before we have a chance to talk with them and find out how interested they are.
  • When to go deeper and share more, vs keeping information at a more surface level.

We hope you enjoy this latest episode, and if you do have suggestions for future shows, we are still taking them.

One of the best things about these episodes is that that they are completely unedited, unscripted, just us hanging out and having a chat, to which you are always invited to listen in on.

Be sure and follow Wes on Twitter @WesA1966 and Mike @Mike_Douglas_ & Open_Journal_  …oh and don’t forget to follow and subscribe to all of our shows on your favorite podcasting app!

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All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the Beyond Your Past Podcast, on BeyondYourPast.com, and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on these podcasts or posted on the above mentioned websites are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

This podcast focuses on inspiring you to break free from the chains of your past and move forward to experience the world of healing, possibilities, and opportunity that comes with working through past trauma. We wanted to spend some time with you today explaining why this is so important. There are many who feel like they don’t want to let the past go and others that believe they just can't do it even if they did want too. Sometimes we find comfort in holding onto the past because its familiar or we believe that by holding and constantly reminding ourselves of the past pain, we can protect ourselves from future pain so we keep all those memories alive. We come up with countless reasons to justify we doing this is so important; things like “the past is a part of me”, “this is just who I am” and “I don’t know who I’d be if I let that go.”

We understand these statements and emotions because both of us, Matt and Joanne, have lived in that mindset for a long time. But, we also understand the amazing benefits of moving beyond that type of mindset -- which is why we do this podcast - in hopes that people will find the encouragement and motivation to move beyond their past so they can reap the benefits of doing so.

It can be challenging to know the benefits of something if you have not experienced them yourself. So, today, we wanted to share with you some of those benefits that you can experience when you dedicate yourself to your own journey of healing. Remember, everyone heals in their own way and it doesn't matter how long it takes you, all that matters is that consider the possibility of how much more fulfilling and enjoyable life can be when you make your healing a priority.

In addition to 4 primary benefits of healing, we also cover some of the reasons why it's so difficult to even attempt to begin healing past trauma in the first place; including reasons why we focus on the past, why it's hard to let go, and why we tend to focus on the negatives aspects of our life.

I hope you'll check out this episode and please consider subscribing on your favorite podcasting app and sharing it with one person who might benefit.

We also appreciate feedback too, so reach out anytime and tell us how we're doing!

Matthew Pappas, CLC, MPNLP & Joanne Cipressi, CHt, CNLP

All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the Beyond Your Past Podcast, on BeyondYourPast.com, and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on these podcasts or posted on the above mentioned websites are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.