Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher

Episode: The ONE thing that absolutely prevents you from loving yourself

Transaction, earned love teaches us that we must - MUST - seek, chase, and perform for love.

This means we have to be "just right" in the eyes of the other or we won't get love.

This means that when there are challenges, problems, hiccups, mistakes, love is in jeopardy.

This means we start LIVING like we're always just on the edge of losing love.

And that results in:

- Anxiety about what others feel and think about us
- anxious attachment orientation in our relationships
- Control, perfectionism, and people-pleasing
- Shame when we fail
- Pressure to succeed and appear a certain way
- Loss of real love opportunities, not being known, friendship failures
- Depression, panic, exhaustion

And all of this is caused by one thing: SIGNIFICANCE

Learn how to work with this in today's episode!


*** START YOUR WORK

Looking for more guidance, tools, support, in your healing, alignment, and satisfaction?

Start your work here: https://join.freetheself.com

** CURRENT ENROLLMENTS:

WORKSHOP: Actually Love Yourself Workshop. Learn what is preventing you from really loving yourself, learn what to do that quickly gets you the *experience* and feeling of loving yourself, and practice this live with Marshall. This happens May 25, 2024 at 10am-2pm Mountain Time. Unlimited access to the replay is included. Investment: $49.00. Join here: https://aly.freetheself.com

The EVERYTHING FOREVER PROGRAM is OPEN! 30 seats are available this year! Get every course I've created, am creating, and will create for a one-time investment. This is ideal for those of you that want to work with me long term. Learn more here: https://forever.freetheself.com

Why You Struggle To Really, Actually Love Yourself

When you're rewarded with praise, attention, or affection for doing something, your body will see performance and love as the same thing.

When you're presence is met with warmth, praise, attention, or affection on a consistent basis, your body will see your existence and love as the same thing.

You deserve to know the second form of love.

Learn what is really going on and your first step in really, actually loving yourself in today's episode:


*** START YOUR WORK

Looking for more guidance, tools, support, in your healing, alignment, and satisfaction?

Start your work here: https://join.freetheself.com

** CURRENT ENROLLMENTS:

WORKSHOP: Actually Love Yourself Workshop. Learn what is preventing you from really loving yourself, learn what to do that quickly gets you the *experience* and feeling of loving yourself, and practice this live with Marshall. This happens May 25, 2024 at 10am-2pm Mountain Time. Unlimited access to the replay is included. Investment: $49.00. Join here: https://aly.freetheself.com

The EVERYTHING FOREVER PROGRAM is OPEN! 30 seats are available this year! Get every course I've created, am creating, and will create for a one-time investment. This is ideal for those of you that want to work with me long term. Learn more here: https://forever.freetheself.com

Codependency And Shame - What's Really Happening

You cannot become free of your codependency until you break free of what I call "Your Root Identity".

Codependency depends on a root identity.

What is a root identity? It is an identity that you FEEL and experience as utterly true about yourself.

You filter the world through this identity and it controls how you live your life.

Learn what this root identity is and what do to about it so you are free from it.

*** START YOUR WORK

Looking for more guidance, tools, support, in your healing, alignment, and satisfaction?

Start your work here: https://join.freetheself.com

** CURRENT ENROLLMENTS:

LIVE CLASS NOTICE: The Next FOUNDATION Live Series starts April 21st, 2024! 50 Person Limit! End codependency by creating emotional safety, aligning with real self-worth, and building warm belonging. Join here: https://foundation.freetheself.com

The EVERYTHING FOREVER PROGRAM is OPEN! 30 seats are available this year! Get every course I've created, am creating, and will create for a one-time investment. This is ideal for those of you that want to work with me long term. Learn more here: https://forever.freetheself.com

** CURRENT WORKSHOP:

Frustrated with a lack of results from therapy or self-help? Join my free trainings, The 3 Simple Shifts That Unlock Real Healing, Peace, And Freedom Where Therapy & Self-help Have Failed Workshop and break through today: https://workshop.freetheself.com

3 Priorities For Satisfaction If You're Codependent

Do you often feel:

- Empty, frustrated, or used?
- Wonder why your life is not fulfilling or satisfied?
- Feel lost as to what you want, value, or even need in your life?

Codependency has us prioritizing others emotionally, physically, mentally, and even financially or intimately.

This happens through acts of people-pleasing, perfectionism, avoiding conflict, and even trying to fix their problems for them.

We are confusing someone else's world as our own, creating disconnection, depletion, and frustration in our experience.

Your satisfaction, fulfillment, peace, or contentment depends on alignment - alignment with people, places, things, and purposes that naturally contribute to and nourish you.

This kind of alignment requires that you choose yourself - repeatedly.

Choosing yourself means you are prioritizing things that matter to you over that of other people's demands, approvals, disagreements, and expectations.

This is where you start feeling more fulfillment, clarity, trust in yourself, and you start to experience life in *your* way.

***

Get more tools, trainings, and access to opportunities to work with Marshall by joining The Heal Your Codependency Community: https://join.freetheself.com

LIVE CLASS NOTICE: The Next FOUNDATION Live Series starts April 21st, 2024! 50 Person Limit! End codependency by creating emotional safety, aligning with real self-worth, and building warm belonging. Join here: https://foundation.freetheself.com

The EVERYTHING FOREVER PROGRAM is OPEN! 30 seats are available this year! Get every course I've created, am creating, and will create for a one-time investment. This is ideal for those of you that want to work with me long term. Learn more here: https://forever.freetheself.com

Frustrated with a lack of results from therapy or self-help? Join my free trainings, The 3 Simple Shifts That Unlock Real Healing, Peace, And Freedom Where Therapy & Self-help Have Failed Workshop and break through today: https://workshop.freetheself.com

You're Not Emotionally Blocked - You're In Need Of Love

The term and concept called "blocks" is prevalent in the self-help and healing world. It is something that sabotaged my healing, satisfaction, and personal alignment with my purposes and joy, as I was drawn to try to fix, eliminate, and overcome these "blocks".

This wasted over a decade of energy, time, and money in my life, leaving me highly discouraged and feeling broken.

Then I learned what was really happening and began thriving.

I share this discovery and how to implement it into your life right now so you aren't wasting time, energy, money, and life trying to get past your "blocks" in today's episode.

Listen or watch below!


*** START YOUR WORK

Looking for more guidance, tools, support, in your healing, alignment, and satisfaction?

Start the work here: https://join.freetheself.com

** CURRENT ENROLLMENTS:

LIVE CLASS NOTICE: The Next FOUNDATION Live Series starts April 21st, 2024! 50 Person Limit! End codependency by creating emotional safety, aligning with real self-worth, and building warm belonging. Join here: https://foundation.freetheself.com

The EVERYTHING FOREVER PROGRAM is OPEN! 30 seats are available this year! Get every course I've created, am creating, and will create for a one-time investment. This is ideal for those of you that want to work with me long term. Learn more here: https://forever.freetheself.com

** CURRENT WORKSHOP:

Frustrated with a lack of results from therapy or self-help? Join my free trainings, The 3 Simple Shifts That Unlock Real Healing, Peace, And Freedom Where Therapy & Self-help Have Failed Workshop and break through today: https://workshop.freetheself.com

3 Things You Must Unblend From Others If You're To Thrive

Codependency has us blending ourselves with others.

What is blending?

It is confusing one's self with another's reality. An example: You know their feelings and mistake their feelings for your feelings.

This is a common form of being enmeshed with another.

In today's episode, I show you three critical things to unblend from others so you experience more peace, confidence, power, and healing in your daily life. This is the path to becoming free of your codependency.


*** START YOUR WORK

Looking for more guidance, tools, support, in your healing, alignment, and satisfaction?

Start your work here: https://join.freetheself.com

** CURRENT ENROLLMENTS:

LIVE CLASS NOTICE: The Next FOUNDATION Live Series starts April 21st, 2024! 50 Person Limit! End codependency by creating emotional safety, aligning with real self-worth, and building warm belonging. Join here: https://foundation.freetheself.com

The EVERYTHING FOREVER PROGRAM is OPEN! 30 seats are available this year! Get every course I've created, am creating, and will create for a one-time investment. This is ideal for those of you that want to work with me long term. Learn more here: https://forever.freetheself.com

** CURRENT WORKSHOP:

Frustrated with a lack of results from therapy or self-help? Join my free trainings, The 3 Simple Shifts That Unlock Real Healing, Peace, And Freedom Where Therapy & Self-help Have Failed Workshop and break through today: https://workshop.freetheself.com

3 Things You Must Trust In Yourself If You're To Heal And Thrive

Abuse and neglect conditioned you to naturally distrust yourself. You learned to discount the legitimacy of your lived experiences, the importance and value of your emotions, to seek your worth through pleasing others and being "good", and so much more.

To heal, your distrust must be healed into trust.

I share the 3 essential things you must begin trusting again if you're to align and thrive in your well-being, peace, and satisfaction.


*** START YOUR WORK

Looking for more guidance, tools, support, in your healing, alignment, and satisfaction?

Join my work here: https://join.freetheself.com

** CURRENT ENROLLMENTS:

LIVE CLASS NOTICE: The Next FOUNDATION Live Series starts April 21st, 2024! 50 Person Limit! End codependency by creating emotional safety, aligning with real self-worth, and building warm belonging. Join here: https://foundation.freetheself.com

The EVERYTHING FOREVER PROGRAM is OPEN! 30 seats are available this year! Get every course I've created, am creating, and will create for a one-time investment. This is ideal for those of you that want to work with me long term. Learn more here: https://forever.freetheself.com

** CURRENT WORKSHOP:

Frustrated with a lack of results from therapy or self-help? Join my free trainings, The 3 Simple Shifts That Unlock Real Healing, Peace, And Freedom Where Therapy & Self-help Have Failed Workshop and break through today: https://workshop.freetheself.com

Navigating New or Foreign Experiences That Come From Your Growth And Healing

Adapting to new results because you're choosing different people who behave differently is challenging.

It is also one of the more risky parts of our journey, as we may turn to old behaviors to generate a sense of safety or comfort because it is familiar.

I share the gentle approach I teach my students that helps them successfully adapt to new experiences and increases one's sense of safety as they grow in today's episode!


*** JOIN MY WORK

Looking for more guidance, tools, support, in your healing, alignment, and satisfaction?

Join my work here: https://join.freetheself.com

** CURRENT ENROLLMENTS:

LIVE CLASS NOTICE: The Next FOUNDATION Live Series starts April 21st, 2024! 50 Person Limit! End codependency by creating emotional safety, aligning with real self-worth, and building warm belonging. Join here: https://foundation.freetheself.com

The EVERYTHING FOREVER PROGRAM is OPEN! 30 seats are available this year! Get every course I've created, am creating, and will create for a one-time investment. This is ideal for those of you that want to work with me long term. Learn more here: https://forever.freetheself.com

** CURRENT WORKSHOP:

Frustrated with a lack of results from therapy or self-help? Join my free trainings, The 3 Simple Shifts That Unlock Real Healing, Peace, And Freedom Where Therapy & Self-help Have Failed Workshop and break through today: https://workshop.freetheself.com

What secrets does your emptiness hold?

Emptiness is often something we fear and can be really intense to confront if we're not sure why we're turning towards our emptiness.

But what if emptiness wasn't something wrong? What if it could add deeply to your healing? What if your emptiness holds the key to more fulfillment and connection?

Learn how to work with your emptiness and discover the secrets it has for you in today's episode!

***

NURTURE is open for enrollment. Heal loneliness and emptiness and build warmth and belonging. We start March 17, 2024. Enroll here: https://nurture.freetheself.com

EVERYTHING FOREVER PROGRAM: Get every course I offer and all future courses and never pay another dime. Learn more here: https://efp.freetheself.com

Start your freedom and healing work with my free guide here: https://guide.freetheself.com

Join my communities here: https://links.freetheself.com

Discover the 3 Secrets To Healing Codependency Permanently in my free 70-minute workshop here: https://workshop.freetheself.com

What does it mean to fulfill or nurture a need?

Needs are somatic - meaning they are experienced in the body, and their fulfillment is found in the body.

This makes our needs interdependent experiences - both with you to yourself, you to others, and others to you.

A need being fulfilled or nurtured means your body is having experiences that fulfill the desire that need has.

Example: I want warm affection. I then reach out to a person who has warm affection for me, and we do things that are warm for me - like a movie, deep talk, making each other laugh. These are fulfilling that need.

So, how do you know you have a need?

You feel a hunger or yearning for something. It can be very loud or very quiet, usually growing in intensity the longer it goes without nourishment.

Learn how needs are recongized and fulfilled in today's episode!

***

NURTURE is open for enrollment. Heal loneliness and emptiness and build warmth and belonging. We start March 17, 2024. Enroll here: https://nurture.freetheself.com

EVERYTHING FOREVER PROGRAM: Get every course I offer and all future courses and never pay another dime. Learn more here: https://efp.freetheself.com

Start your freedom and healing work with my free guide here: https://guide.freetheself.com

Join my communities here: https://links.freetheself.com

Discover the 3 Secrets To Healing Codependency Permanently in my free 70-minute workshop here: https://workshop.freetheself.com