Unabashed You

We often say we “just want to be happy” or that we “just want our kids to be happy.”  Is that really the goal for our lives?  I was on Kelly Robinson’s podcast “Kelly Minds Her Manors” recently and had the opportunity to flesh out some different thoughts I have.  It was during her Fearless Five portion of the show when she asked me “Something you think other people value that you don’t.”  For me, happiness is fleeting, flighty even, not sustainable and definitely not a goal. That just can’t be it.  It doesn’t speak to character-building by going through the hard things, being fulfilled by the weighty things or the great sense of joy which I find a deeper, more satisfying place to be.

So this is me, on Kelly’s show.

Kelly asked me about my coaching style.  I shared how much I relish small group work while being hands on throughout.  We learn so much from each other when we are willing to be vulnerable.  Intimacy is built and there is a safe space to interact, to connect.  I want each person I work with to be seen, and to be encouraged.  On our way we will set goals and track progress.  Think about the person you are in your imagination.  Now compare that to how you show up in your real life.  Those two should be closely aligned and if they’re not, let’s do some work to get there.  You’ll be glad you did.

Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.

The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms.  Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.

Social media (direct links):

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If you have questions or comments email us at: [email protected].

We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes.  We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.

So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐

As a young girl she wanted to be a nurse because she thought the uniforms were cute.  Then she realized the doctors are the ones that tell the nurses what to do so she changed her mind.  Tolulope Olabintan did become a doctor.  She paid attention to the restlessness inside of her.  Of course it wasn’t easy, what is?  Tolu did the hard things, made the sacrifices and became confident in her chosen field.

Part of the journey came when her beloved aunt died from asthma.  That spurred Tolu on to focus on lifestyle medicine so that what she imparts will outlive her.  Big picture thinking, and wanting what’s best for each person, are hallmarks of who she is.  Tolulope emphasizes the value of recognizing and nurturing one's own unique talents, and not being distracted by comparing oneself to others.  Here, here!

Her 2023 takeaways?  This was a “stretchy” year and she realized, “Our challenges are not meant to break us but to increase our capacity.”  Mic drop.  And her looks ahead into 2024?  “It is never too late.”  You can make positive changes, try new things, live your best life in the later decades in your 50’s, 60’s and 70’s.  Follow her advice: don’t give up.

Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.

The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms.  Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.

Social media (direct links):

Facebook

Instagram

If you have questions or comments email us at: [email protected].

We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes.  We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.

So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐

“Time leaves no fruit on the tree.”  This is a lyric from a John Mayer song and a phrase that Johanna Lobo lives by.  It reminds her to seize the day and not put off important or enjoyable things so she takes the advice to heart daily.  Another practice is paying attention to self-talk.  Are you harder on yourself than you would be to anyone else?  If so, stop.  Be as good to yourself as you would be to someone you loved, which should include you.

If you believe you are capable then by all means step out, and take a risk.  It will take courage Johanna explains as the two are woven together in ways hard to describe.  If you are courageous, you will be more confident.  If you are confident, you will be more courageous.  These two characteristics, truly are something we can all have.  You just plain have to feel it inside, and allow yourself the time to get better at it.  Then watch out!

Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.

The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms.  Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.

Social media (direct links):

Facebook

Instagram

If you have questions or comments email us at: [email protected].

We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes.  We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.

So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐

"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do." - Eleanor Roosevelt.  This is the quote Amy DeFehr and I could not quite recall.  It’s so true and one we should remember because the fear of what others think is the number one reason we don’t try things.

Amy defined confidence as, “a feeling of knowing you can do anything, taking it out of the heart and into the head. I don’t need anyone to tell me, because I know.”

Here are Amy’s 3 suggestions to increase confidence:

You have to do things that scare you; get past the feeling, once you do one it leads you to the next

Do something that is a release, accomplish something that is hard (like a workout) or get in nature

Surround yourself with really good people; they see you, know you, and are cheering you on

Amy has been on the podcast before in Walking Off a Cliff episode 26.

Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.

The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms.  Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.

Social media (direct links):

Facebook

Instagram

If you have questions or comments email us at: [email protected].

We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes.  We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.

So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐

What do you think of this definition of confidence?  A place of belief in oneself that is unshakable.  This week’s guest, Donna Cravotta, had a lot to say about women over 50 owning who they are and not caring what others think.  And that spells confidence.  She shares that these women are a bridge, a bridge between how life was and how life's going to be.  It’s a special moment in time.

It began after her frustration with the lack of representation for women of a certain age in mainstream media along with her determination to create a platform for them.  Donna created, "The Real 50 Over 50 Visibility Project: The Wisdom Revolution,” which aims to uncover and amplify the stories of women over 50 who are changing the world.  She is hard at work providing ways for them to connect and collaborate. These untold stories are important for us all.

You can find Donna here Donna Cravotta Media Group.

Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.

The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms.  Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.

Social media (direct links):

Facebook

Instagram

If you have questions or comments email us at: [email protected].

We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes.  We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.

So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐

It all changed when she read Untamed by Glennon Doyle.  Elyse Muscha recognized herself in the story and what followed was an evolution of who she knew she was.  The confidence came through feeling comfortable in her own skin.  That involved some risk taking because one of the biggest lessons for her was the realization that complacency is the enemy of confidence.   

Elyse shared these practical suggestions to minimize the negativity and maximize the confidence.

You need to surround yourself with positive people (those that build you up)

Take the risk (do it scared - step on the gas, yellow lights can be complacency)

Mirror time (talk to yourself like you would to others, the more you hear it, the more you will be rewired to believe it)

Take the time to fill your cup (self-care is a must)

To follow Elyse’s blog you can find it at The Prismatic Pencil Box.

Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.

The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms.  Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.

Social media (direct links):

Facebook

Instagram

If you have questions or comments email us at: [email protected].

We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes.  We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.

So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐

Wise.  Powerful.  Friend.  That is how I would describe this week’s guest, Arlana Scola as she shared many inspiring thoughts about confidence.  Like her definition: it  is knowing in the deepest part of yourself you’ve got it.  Even in the hard times.  This is especially true as Arlana’s foundation comes from her relationship with Christ, within that she doesn’t have to worry about anything.

Arlana’s three suggestions to strengthen your confidence muscle?

Decide what you want to build confidence in: whatever it is (like public speaking)

Make a plan of how you’re going to do it (practice in front of mirror, record)

Go out and do it!

It’s ok if you fall on our face because doing so is a great teacher.  You can assess and grow the muscle.  If you thwart or stop you won’t make any progress so get out there and try something.

You can find Arlana at Arlana's website and by email Arlana's email.

Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.

The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms.  Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.

Social media (direct links):

Facebook

Instagram

If you have questions or comments email us at: [email protected].

We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes.  We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.

So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐

His grandfather left an indelible imprint on his life.  He showed him, “Love is what love does” and “If love doesn’t do anything then love ain’t nothing” and more, all through example.  I picture a humble, hard-working, confident man.  I think I’m right.  This week’s guest, Mike Pittman, shared this tender story of working with his grandfather as a teenager, and how it helped form him into who he became.

My three words for Mike?  Creative. Curious. Confident.

Mike defined confidence as “that thing that convinces you, you can do something.”  (Simple and profound.)  And the three suggestions to become more confident?

Suspend the belief that what you want is not possible to have

Surround yourself with people better than you, at least one person you can learn from

Be willing to be taught; don’t limit yourself or miss out on knowledge

You can find Mike on Instagram at Tall Bald Mike Photography.

Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.

The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms.  Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.

Social media (direct links):

Facebook

Instagram

If you have questions or comments email us at: [email protected].

We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes.  We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.

So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐

Strike a pose.  (You likely remember that line from the Madonna song, Vogue.)  This week Jessica Stoeckeler challenged us all to strike a confident pose for at least a minute and see how we feel after.  You know, stand up tall, shoulders back, chest out and head held high.  Yes!  There definitely is a physical component to showing up and feeling confident.

And the three things Jessica suggests we do to become more confident:

1) Keep track of your accomplishments (even daily)

2) Do some sort of challenging exercise (I can do anything!)

3) Put on some bright red lipstick (I feel GREAT!)

You can accomplish anything if you try, even hard things.  Just ask Jessica.

Jessica has been on the podcast before in I Need Tough Love episode 151.

You can find Jessica on Instagram at Jessica Stoeckeler.

Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.

The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms.  Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.

Social media (direct links):

Facebook

Instagram

If you have questions or comments email us at: [email protected].

We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes.  We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.

So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐

Who do you count on when you are in a pinch?  I am happy to say I reached out to this young man all the way to Nigeria (from California) and he stepped into today’s recording.  Enitan Balogun.  He’s been on the show before and he never ceases to surprise me with his ability to inspire this third-act woman.

His distinction between feeling confident and being confident?  A feeling is temporal, it’s just for the moment, whereas if you are being confident it is a part of who are.  It’s a matter of trusting yourself and your instinct.

And the three things needed to reach that point of believing in yourself?  Enitan said, believe in yourself or no none else will; find a mentor who is aligned with you; and be collaborative because you are better together and you have each other’s backs when things don’t go the way you planned.

Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.

The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms.  Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.

Social media (direct links):

Facebook

Instagram

If you have questions or comments email us at: [email protected].

We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes.  We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.

So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐