Unlocking College Life

Joy and Ilona wrap-up the season by reflecting on the many students who joined the show to share their college experiences. The hosts are grateful for the bravery and vulnerability of each guest and hope each episode will continue to help listeners feel less alone in their struggles and paths throughout college.   

Joy and Ilona welcome guest Mel Selber, who is a graduating senior at the University of Michigan. Mel talks about how she redefined who she is over the course of her college experience, and how continuing to take small risks played a role. 

 

Key Takeaways:

• Internalized beliefs about who we are
• Imposter syndrome
• Straddling two identities, while not belonging to either one
• The experience of being othered
• Discomfort leading to clarity
• Mel’s secret for making new things less nerve-wracking
• Challenging preconceived notions
• Finding new ways to fail safely
• Distinguishing between helpful vs unhelpful anxiety

 

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Ilona and Joy welcome guest Kate Panzer, who is a 2nd-year medical student at the University of Michigan. Kate followed the pre-med track at the University of Pennsylvania as an undergrad where she developed an interest in disability health through learning American Sign Language (ASL). She is now integrating her interest in disability health into her experience in medical school.

 

Key Takeaways:

• The pre-med track in undergrad
• The decision to take two gap years before med school
• Why Kate ended up taking 4 semesters of ASL
• From theory to hands-on learning with physicians
• Getting to see medicine in different environments
• How Kate balances the rigor of medical school with social life
• Exploring disability advocacy in health care
• The importance of keeping an open mind throughout college

 

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Joy and Ilona are joined by Merry Gebretsadik, a first-generation student studying political science and ethnic studies at Colorado State University. Merry outlines her path at CSU from a disconnected first-year student to ultimately being elected as the Vice President of Student Government (ASCSU). 

 

Key Takeaways:

• Navigating a PWI as a black female student
• Leaning on mentors and advisors
• Importance of putting yourself out there
• Challenging non-inclusive student spaces 
• From student senator to Vice President
• Merry’s “first” in ASCSU history
• The power of the student's voice
• The concept of reverse time management 
• Radical inclusion & continuous outreach as a leader

 

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Ilona and Joy are joined by Senaida, a student at New York University’s Clive Davis Institute for Recorded Music. Senaida talks openly about her experiences as a musical artist, and the challenges she went through to find her unique artistry now. She says: “My art is my life, and my life is always a work in progress.”

 

Key Takeaways:

• The high pressure of performing
• Why Senaida developed stage fright
• Accepting limitations 
• Finding her creative place in the music industry
• How Senaida made her college choice
• The pros and cons of competition
• Meditation, spirituality, and musical expression
• The process of accepting that something is “good enough”
• The power of therapy
• Remembering to slow down

 

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Joy and Ilona talk with Todd Perry who never imagined he would be a college student. This episode is especially for those who have struggled with addiction and don’t believe college is a possibility. Todd had behavioral issues as a young person, and a traumatic upbringing. He lived through years as an addict, and eventually broke the cycle of drug and alcohol addiction. With essential help from others, Todd is now a social work student and a peer-support specialist for the Spartan Recovery Program at UNC Greensboro.

 

Key Takeaways:

• Power of shame
• The court-appointed attorney who saw something in Todd
• What happened when he went to treatment
• The recovery community - a different type of love and compassion
• Dedication to helping others - being part of something bigger than himself
• How to help college students who are struggling with drinking and/or other drugs 
• The possibility of being on prescription medication while in recovery 
• If you are wondering about recovery on your campus, Todd shares some advice

 

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Joy talks with Emma Abed, a graduate student at the University of Michigan, about the varied types of relationships in college, and why they can get complicated. Joy and Emma also explore the pros and cons of hookup culture in the college environment. 

 

Key Takeaways:

• Relationships, gender, and sexuality in college
• Exploring one’s own sexuality
• Why shame can shut down conversations about sex
• Clarifying boundaries in intimate relationships and friendships
• Tools to set boundaries with others
• Expectations of hook-up culture
• Pros and cons of putting a label on a relationship
• Ghosting and why it backfires
• Considering the four quadrants of relationships

 

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Joy and Ilona are joined by Piers Donald, a senior at the University of Redlands in California. They follow Piers’ story of determination to play basketball in college, being cut from the team and having to build his identity back up through sobriety and a student job opportunity. 

 

Key Takeaways:

• The trials and errors in college to find one’s purpose and passion
• Internal reckoning of getting cut from the basketball team
• Dealing with failure associated with an identity crisis
• The deeper reasons for drinking - red flags to look out for
• Why therapy helped through his recovery
• The dangers of chasing external sources of happiness
• Finding his passion for event planning through a student job opportunity
• Advice for connection: ask people what they’re passionate about

 

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From the promise of a no-tuition college in Kentucky to a community college in Maine to Amherst College. Mase Peterson talks with Ilona and Joy about the double-edged sword of striving for an elite college education as a first-generation, low-income student. 

 

Key Takeaways:

• Reaching for your ambitions at a variety of schools
• The “first-generation, low-income student complex” - internalized messaging about success
• No-Tuition colleges 
• The concept of a chosen family
• College mentors who believe in you
• The pros and cons of an elite education
• Importance of gender and sexuality conversations in college
• Finding belonging with identity-based student groups

 

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Ilona and Joy talk with Jonah Jacobs, a fellow podcaster and recent graduate of the University of Michigan. Jonah is passionate about normalizing the mental health struggles of men and describes how he worked through the ongoing tensions between his insecure self and his authentic self in college. 

 

Key Takeaways:

• Noticing insecurity in oneself
• People-pleasing – caring way too much about what other people think
• Drinking behaviors that don’t align with one’s values
• The pressure to keep up the party-guy facade
• What to do about the Sunday scaries
• Jonah’s challenge to you about FOMO
• The importance of taking a mental health inventory
• How to identify values to live your life by
• Find more from Jonah on the Take It On Podcast

 

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