Your Marriage Matters

"You Are Not Likely To Protect YOUR Marriage If You Don't Believe
There Is Any Danger"

Rick Reynolds - The Affair Recovery Center

Last week we did our podcast on The 5 Early Warning Signs That Your Marriage Could Be In Trouble! A lot of the feedback was ... what can we do to get ahead of these early warning signs?!?

This week we are going to give every 3 strategies, or 3 Great Ways To Invest In Your Marriage! While they are simple, they are by no means easy! Here you go ...

• Invest in YOUR Marriage by ... being a student of yourself! Be open and honest about who you are and who you are not and make the commitment to become the best version of yourself possible. Then be open and honest with your spouse about it and trust they will love you, just as you are, unconditionally!
• Invest in YOUR Marriage by ... becoming a student of your spouse! Know their Love Languages, know their Relational Needs (we have a podcast dedicated to this subject HERE!), know their personality styles, know what is on their Bucket List (yet another podcast on this subject HERE!) and on and on and on! You can never know enough about your spouse!
• Invest in YOUR Marriage by ... becoming a student of marriage! There is so much to know about this subject that you can, and likely will, spend an entire lifetime dedicated to learning more about it! The cool news is that it is THE MOST WORTHWHILE pursuit you will ever undertake!

Understand YOUR Marriage Matters and it is in constant danger if we aren't vigilant in how we protect it!

We love you and appreciate you and we want to see you and your relationship succeed beyond your wildest dreams!

Here are a couple of additional ways you can be proactive!

One more simple thing you can do to access a great resource is to join our YOUR Marriage Matters Facebook Group where we share a ton of additional information for building a more vibrant, healthy marriage! Click Here to go to our Facebook Group and join in!!!

Oooooooppppssss! Almost forgot you can grab our book 52 Great Conversations for Building A More Vibrant, Healthy Marriage! Click Here to grab your copy!

YOUR Marriage, just like your health, has early warning signs when something isn't just right! Identifying what those signs are, looking to see if they are present in your marriage and then taking action to fix them can save you and your partner a whole lot of grief!!!

5 Early Warning Signs YOUR Marriage Could Be In Trouble!!!

In this podcast we look at 5 specific warning signs we look for in the couples we work with. They are ...

• Losing our connection with each other!
• Avoiding spending time with each other!
• Not making our marriage a priority!
• Talking bad about our spouse, or marriage, to others!
• Not being intentional when it comes to investing in our marriage!

When it comes to that last one we wanted to give you some simple and easy to use resources for investing in each other!!! From previous episodes:

• Take the time to learn what makes your spouse feel loved by taking our "Relationship Needs Survey"! This is a real eye opener and will give you the keys to your mates heart! Click Here to access that episode!
• One of the most powerful things a couple can do is to work on creating a "Shared Vision" for their life together! In our episode on the subject we offered a downloadable pdf workbook to help you in the process! Click Here to access that episode and download your own Bucket List Exercise! WARNING ... it could lead to living full time in a RV or some similar life adventure!!!
• One more simple thing you can do to access a great resource is to join our YOUR Marriage Matters Facebook Group where we share a ton of additional information for building a more vibrant, healthy marriage! Click Here to go to our Facebook Group and join in!!!
• Oooooooppppssss! Almost forgot you can grab our book 52 Great Conversations for Building A More Vibrant, Healthy Marriage! Click Here to grab your copy!

So, make the commitment today to not allow any of these red flags to show up in your relationship without taking action in a proactive way! Obviously if we can help in any way let us know. E-mail us, message us or post your question on the Facebook Group! We are always here for you ...

Jim & Christie Jacobus

 

 

 

 

 

We are calling YOU out! But, we are calling ourselves out first!!!

We are frustrated, mostly Jim is frustrated, by what we perceive as a lack of interest people have in investing in their marriages! That is until they get into a crisis situation. That has made itself real to us many, many times through the years. That is why we began this podcast in the first place ... to keep couples out of Christie's counseling room and Jim's Divorce Care class!

Someone Is Getting Called Out! It Could Be You!!!

It seems to us like people, you maybe, don't care!!! While the podcast gets solid numbers in the way of downloads it has very little engagement in the way of comments or feedback on any of our distribution channels like YouTube, Facebook, ITunes and the rest. So, we are doing 2 things ...

• Calling ourselves out to be more engaged ourselves and do a better job of providing resources and promoting the podcast.
• Calling you, our listeners, viewers, friends and family out to become more intentional in providing us your feedback and engagement in this process!

In the podcast we also speak to what we feel like are the most important elements to building the marriage you dreamed of when you said "I Do"!

So, there you have it! You have been called out and we have called ourselves out as well! Join us in helping to build a more vibrant, healthy marriage for yourselves and for others.

Thanks! We love and appreciate each of you. Let us know how we can help you ...

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Jim & Christie Jacobus

 

 

 

 

 

To live the "life of your dreams" you are going to have to make some big decisions! You may also have to change direction sometimes ... even when the direction you are going is exciting and compelling!!! The question is how do you go about making these types of decisions and/or change direction?

For a while now we have been using, and teaching, a process we came up with called I D E A! It goes like this ...

• Inspiration - you have a compelling idea.
• Discussion - you talk about it together and examine the pluses and the minuses with an open mind.
• Education - you learn as much as you can about the decision you want to make.
• Action - when the time comes (don't go too fast, or wait too long) you have to take action to make it happen!

We Made A BIG Decision! Another Life Lesson "From the Road"!!!

In this episode we walk you through our decision to become Park Hosts at Brazos Bend State Park near Houston, Texas! It was a bucket list item for the two of us yet there were a lot of things to consider. That said, we made the decision and we are so excited about our stay here!

Need to make a decision? Try I D E A out and let us know how it goes for you!!!

What is "travel day" like with Team Jacobus? What can we learn about marriage from how these two live out their full time RV'ing lifestyle?

Travel Day With Team Jacobus! (Some "Lessons From the Road")

 

It turns out, in this raw and uncut podcast, that there is a tone we can learn about the power of living out a dream and a shared vision! We can also learn a lot about how a ton of stuff has to get done and their approach to a shared workload!

Tune in and hear what "travel day" is like for Team Jacobus!

As we wrap up our "I Am Not the Enemy" series we look at what role do we play when it comes to dealing with conflict and struggles in a healthy and productive manner!

In this podcast we will share with you 6 positive roles we each play in the lives of our spouse and in the life of our marriage! Each of these roles lead to us successfully navigating the inevitable rough spots every relationship will experience!

Learning to embrace these strategies will not only help with problem solving but will absolutely lead to a marriage relationship each of you can count on!

Knowing you can trust your mate during tough times is a huge win and a part of why God created marriage in the first place!

We trust you will enjoy this episode. Let us know if we can help you and your marriage in any way ...

Challenges come at our relationship from one of two directions - outside forces of life just happening or inside the marriage where two imperfect people struggle with the give and take of growing up as a couple together!

In this Your marriage Matters episode 140 we get A Professional Counselor's Wisdom for Dealing With Conflict!

Christie has been a Licensed Professional Counselor, or LPC, for over a decade and currently serves clients via two online platforms ... Talkspace and BetterHelp! Her day begins and ends with helping individuals and couples deal with the inevitable conflict that comes with life.

In this episode she shares with us her formulas for helping couples navigate the oft times difficult waters.

We spend a good bit of our time discussing what to do when things seem impossible! So, grab a notebook and some paper because you will want to write some of this stuff down!

Come on over to the Your Marriage Matters  Facebook Group for more great content and a community of like minded folks by Clicking Here! 

Let us know if we can help you in your journey!

Jim & Christie Jacobus

This week we continue the "I Am Not the Enemy" series with YMM 139 ... Two Great Problem Solving Strategies You Can Use TODAY!

The are our two favorite , real world, techniques we use regularly when Team Jacobus is working our way through a difficulty or a when a not so clear decision needs to be made!

Struggles are part of the deal! Disagreements are part of the deal! Even arguing, when done in a healthy way, are a part of any deeply committed relationship! How we handle these normal parts of a normal relationship makes all of the difference in the world. These two techniques can help you turn conflict resolution into a marital strength and give you confidence in yourself, and in your relationship!

Enjoy ... and let us know if we can help in any way!

Jim & Christie Jacobus

When asked what is our best marital advice we always answer the same ... "Fight Naked"! While taken literally it can be a very effective methodology ... after all, who wants to fight with a naked person!

All kidding aside the NAKED part is an acronym for 5 great things to remember to keep our disagreements both civil and productive at the same time. The 5 steps look like this:

• N stands for "nothing up your sleeve" or no hidden agendas.
• A stands for "assume the best" which we went into in depth last week in podcast #137 ... Click Here for that episode!
• K stands for "keep things respectful"! I am not the enemy and deserve your respect even in a disagreement.
• E stands for "engage in creating a positive outcome" and be a serious problem solver looking for solutions.
• D stands for "decide on a plan of action" and move forward. Don't just leave problems hanging so that they pop up again and again!

Does this acronym help us in working through the inevitable problems and conflicts we run into as a couple? You bet it does! Are we perfect at it? Nope, not yet! But we want to be and we appreciate that we both want to be a part of the solution and "not the enemy"!

Let us know what you think about this episode and if you have any questions! Do us a favor when you have a few - like, subscribe and share this podcast with others! We would greatly appreciate it!

Problems, struggles and conflict are signs of a healthy relationship! Two imperfect people working to build a life together are bound to have struggles by the mere fact that:

• They are male and female
• Grew up in different households
• Have different personality styles Have different views on sex, money, household roles and responsibilities, parenting and a dozen other subjects

All of this and more means there will be conflict! What matters is how we handle it!!!

This entire month we will be following the theme of "I Am NOT the Enemy" (thanks Ben and Megan Coleman) and looking closely at effective strategies and mindsets for turning the inevitable differences we are going to have into a strength in our relationships!

Knowing we have each other's back and that we will process struggles in a positive and healthy way builds confidence in ourselves and in each other!  It isn't easy but it is well worth it!

Jim & Christie Jacobus