THIS FULL LIFE

Did you grow up in a war zone? Were your parents from Iraq then immigrate to Israel? Have you moved your family back and forth to Israel 3 times? My guest today has experienced all this and more. Revital Shiri-Horowitz is an extraordinary woman with an extraordinary life to share. She’s written 3 books earning several awards. Today we talk about her childhood of growing up in Israel, running to bomb shelters in the middle of the night, serving in the Israeli Defence Force, moving to London, back to Israel, to the United States. motherhood, parents, childhood, israel, author, narcissism, books, life lessons    

My sister Sarah used this phrase while I was interviewing her...absolutist.   It means exactly what it says: there is no room for gray, it’s either black or white.   My sister has been a self-proclaimed absolutist for a long time and is now declaring herself cured from the judgment of it all. Today’s podcast and video interview is about sisterhood, judgement, control issues, growing up, and more. When the topic came up over Christmas about eating vegan or vegetarian or omnivore or pescitarian, I knew there would be some alternative view points.  Alternative meaning mine and her’s. Sure enough we had differing thoughts. I eat plant-based about 95% of my life. I have an occasional couple of bites of my husbands burger or fish and then I’m satisfied.  Back to my plants. My body just feels aligned when I eat this way. Sarah proclaimed this could not happen if I claimed to be a vegan. It was all or nothing.

I started in Santa Cruz, CA at a Women’s Leadership Conference.  It was the type of sisterhood connection I love to submerge myself in to. I felt deep connections with women I’d never even met. There was so much learning and intensity that after the first day I felt like I had a hangover and I hadn’t even drank.  Morning two as my girlfriend and I headed out of our hotel room I put on my sunglasses, even though it was cloudy and overcast.  I didn’t want to engage with anyone yet. I still needed to be inward not outward. Ever notice that when we really put our energy out in a big way that we also have to allow time to go within?  That’s me. I can put myself out into the world in a big way, and then I have to honor the part of me that wants to go inward and recharge and be quiet. I’m learning how to manage my energy in better ways.  When we put ourself out in a way that is connecting with and being present with hundreds of people one needs to know one's limits.  I’m learning. I often just want to give all of myself and I know I can’t do that.

“White privilege is not necessarily about being white. It has nothing to do with the color of your skin. It’s about the fact that there is a power structure in place and has been for generations that affords certain people the luxury of never having to think about what they look like in terms of how they are treated by others. But for another part of the population it is inescapable to know that how you look and are perceived by others determines how you are treated.  This is white privilege.”  Delara Marchbank Race, Identity, skin color, and culture are very complex topics.   The words Racial Bias might even sting to read them.  In today’s episode I’m joined by my friend, yoga instructor, and activist Delara Marchbank. Coming from a background of Persian decent Delera’s learned the nature of racial bias and white privilege. Growing up being of race and color other than white is very different from growing up white.

In today’s show I continue my conversation with Danny Neifert on Gender Identity.  In this second part of our two part series we dive into the basic moving parts of us as human beings.   If you missed part one of this series check it out here. We’re all born in the physical skin of either a male or female body.  Yet it’s often discombobulating if we realize the shell we’re born into isn’t the person that’s on the inside.  When we identify with the gender type we’re born into it categorically easy to navigate the world.  When we’re born into a gender that we don’t identify with life can present some major challenges. And what if we suddenly find ourself attracted to someone of the same gender when throughout our life we’ve identified with the opposite sex.  This can also be a big shake up. Listen in today and let me know your feedback.  I'd love to hear your thoughts!    

I've known Danny for over 4 years.  When I first met her at our mutual yoga studio in Santa Barbara, CA I knew she had two grown children and was coming off a breakup.  As time went on I discovered she was dating one of the female instructors and began to wonder how someone shifts from being attracted to males to being attracted to females and visa versa.  I had no judgement around it, I was coming more from the place of curiosity and wonderment.    Several years have passed and I ran into Danny again in Colorado. She's still dating the same woman. Several women leaders I follow on social media also had break-ups from long-term male partners and were now in committed relationship with women. What sparks this?  What's the internal shift that happens when we go from one gender to another? Gender Identity is a very personal and unique thing.  According to the research Danny's done we each have three layers to our identity; the first being the shell we're born in:Female or Male.  The next layer is the gender we identify with.  This may or may not equal to what's on our exterior shell.  We feel like a man or we feel like a woman.  And lastly we're attracted to the energetic composition of male or female.  For example some of us are attracted to a more manly man or a more feminine man.  Or we're attracted to a very feminine women or a more masculine woman.    We dive into lots of Q & A on being attracted to the same sex and the opposite sex.  And why we're attracted to who we're attracted to.   You can check out Danny's work in the world on her website Embodied Harmonics. 

WELCOME!  The first edition of my new podcast THIS FULL LIFE is finally ready.  I've been so excited to release this new platform.  You'll notice new intro music, cleaner sound and a great outro message. THIS FULL LIFE  is a platform dedicated to inspirational conversation, courageous individuals and my desire to learn more about the world I live in. On today’s episode my friend, activist and Yoga Instructor Delara Marchbank joins me to discuss the many levels of fear and faith.    At first glance the two words seem to be polar opposites.  And they are.  However, they're also extremely related.  You almost can't have one without the other. When we're in fear, we have visceral responses.  Our chest tightens, we might sweat, we become angry, denial sets in.  Landing in a place of fear means we are in the space of unknown. We dont' know what an outcome will be.  We are afraid because we're trying to control a situation and don't have a clue as to how it's going to end. Fear might look like trying to live day-to-day and not knowing how the bills are going to get paid. Relationships might cause fear.  A new job might cause fear. Fear also shows up in situations of fight or flight.  There's real fear when we think we might fall or hurt ourself or that someone else might hurt us. What do we do with this fear?  Have faith?  It almost seems callous to say, "just have faith." So where does faith come in? Dive into our conversation today and observe where your fear lies.  See what it's like to release this fear into faith.  

Studies have shown that although both men and women have the capacity to use their intuition, women's brains are hardwired for it.  That's right ladies! We can claim that inner voice, that gut instinct, that "feeling" we just have. But here's the thing, even though we have such a strong capacity for intuition we've almost forgotten how to let it lead us.  And I mean really let it lead us through life.   We haven't exactly been celebrated for our ability to "just know".  Our ability to be sensitive to other people and situations has been devalued.  It's been objectified and traded in for more "logical thinking." As women we've been teased for wanting to follow our intuition.  Maybe even been made fun of.  After all, being sensitive is a gift, yet we haven't necessarily been taught to embrace this aspect of ourself.  We might have been criticized for being so in touch with our emotions thus blocked it out.   In today's podcast my guest, Julie Guthrie and I really dive in to what it means to follow your intuition.   It might mean following guidance without knowing the end result.  It might mean making really difficult decisions. What happens when we don't follow our instincts?    

  UGH!  Just as soon as I typed the words in the title "Letting go of Control" I had a shiver.  Letting Go and Surrendering is an ongoing practice for me.  Just like yoga, I have to practice it frequently for my body to have the muscle memory to do it.  And for me to continue to grow.   I find myself coming from a place of fear when I think about surrender.  The "What if" place.  What if I surrender, then what?  If I surrender how do I know it's going to go the way I want it to go? Sometimes it's a moment to moment practice.  Letting go and surrendering can go as deep as we allow it to.  Surrender doesn't mean giving up or giving in.   It means having a curiosity to see what's on the other side.  It's letting go of attachment to the outcome.  Often times fear is behind surrender.  When we can't allow ourself to let go, we might be coming from a place of fear.  And this doesn't mean we're afraid for our life.  It might mean that if we let go and surrender, we're afraid something undesirable will happen.   When we invite in surrender we invite in the opportunity for love to enter in.  We can let go in small increments or we can surrender on a bigger scale.    About halfway through the podcast I take you through a short exercise on breath work and listening to your body to recognize what it is you're willing to surrender in your life.   There is so much good that can unfold when we allow ourself to surrender. 

I recorded this episode months ago and today I'm revisiting.   It's ringing true for me on many levels; especially the shift of wanting to be out in the world doing my thing!   I still have my youngest child at home.  And although he's 17, he still requires and deserves my love and attention and interaction.     The part of me that is shifting and wanting to get my message out in the world wants to ignore his wants and needs and hole up in my office( bedroom!) and work, work, work! Maybe I should go back and listen to my own podcast on balance!  Seriously though, according to Dr. Northup this is a normal part of my life. It's normal for me to want to be more productive in the world rather than be family focused. Can you relate?   The Wisdom of Menopause, by Dr. Chrisitane Northrup is the book currently on my nightstand. I've diving into the wisdom and what menopause really tells us about our lives.  I've been an admirer of her's for years and now I'm learning more about what's going on with my conflicted mind.  The hormonal shifting going on isn't the only happening around here.   I have a few recent examples in my own life to share.   Let's chat about what's going on being the scenes of our shifts and changes and how we can navigate this incredible time in our lives. Menopause is really happening for us not too us.