Fostering Voices Podcast

The foster adopt community is better because Nicole Marshall is in it. Today's episode features the magical Nicole, and her son Micah (for a total of about 2 seconds). Tune in to hear about Nicole's life as a wife, mom of 7 - 3 bio and 4 adopted, and founder of Advocacy 31nine.

Some links for you:

Connect with Nicole on Social Media! Facebook. Instagram. Find out more about Advocacy 31nine on their website and follow them on Instagram. We talked about the School to Prison Pipeline and you can read about that here. And here. And here. What is an IEP? Here's an article for you.

(Good) Word of The Day:

"Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy." Proverbs 31:9

Nicole has this verse tattooed in her brain and on her heart. I don't even have "Jesus Wept" tattooed in my brain, even though it is the shortest verse in the Bible! (It's in John 11:35. I had to google that.) But I'm so thankful that this is the verse she chose, because she truly lives it out! Thank you for using your circumstances to improve the lives of your kids, other kids from hard places, and in turn - all kids and educators - so that classrooms can be a great place of learning for absolutely everyone. As always, thank you sweet listeners, for tuning in again. And we will catch you again next week! Feel free to find me on social media so we can connect in between episodes! Fostering Voices on Instagram Jihae Watson on Facebook  

Some questions:

I put out a question on my Instagram Stories asking what questions people had about foster care, or adoption, or about us, or our family. Here are the questions that I got: -"I have a question... how do you have such a big brain and such a hot bod at the same time? I always heard God blesses people with one or the other to keep the world balanced.. but dang girl, you smart AND fly." - Chris Watson -"How many miles are in 10 cups?" -Drew Lott Chris is on this episode with me, and we answered the more serious of those two questions on the podcast. And the answer is 5.676 x 10 to the negative 13th power. We did admittedly get a few more questions after we recorded, and so we will get to those on another episode. No wait, two of the three were about dinner plans, and one was a question we will get to on another episode! So then we answered some questions from a random question generator, which officially makes this episode full of the Most Infrequently Asked Questions.

Some random things we talk about in this episode:

• VHS-C tapes are the little tapes that go inside Camcorders. I know you were dying to know that. And now you know. And you can order some on Amazon, of course.
• Sky Dive Arizona, that's where I got the Groupon from that almost literally killed my husband. And the deal is still around! You can buy it here. BUT DON'T. Chris truly almost died. Or could have. Same thing.
• Still looking for that saying... Something about the blind, or sinner, leading others to find water...

(Good) Word of the Day:

"Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners - of whom I am the worst." 1 Timothy 1:15

We love this verse because it keeps us humble. Jesus Christ came for us all. He died for us all. He died for us when we were sinner, and we are sinners still. And I am the worst of them all. This is freeing, to know we are loved, and to know we can love others because they are in the same boat as us. We hope that people don't regard us as having achieved something special (besides a license), in order to foster. We are just two regular people who are doing our best to bring hope and joy to those around us. This is our goal in all things. Thanks as always for tuning in. We are SO thankful for you all. If you ever do have any questions, find us on Instagram at Fostering Voices, or on Facebook, or you can even e-mail me at [email protected] . Super professional, I know. And, if you are ever looking for info on how to get started on your fostering or adoption journey, you can always look here. Have a great week, filled with joy and hope and good food and good company, and we will see you again next week!

Have we got an international adoption story for you my friend. Today we have Jen Walsh on the podcast, and she is a treat! I found her on Instagram, and you must follow her as well. Her handle is em_erge, which I completely forgot to ask her what the meaning behind the name is. Next time! But Jen makes the absolute most INCREDIBLE skirts, and they are made all the more fabulous because they have pockets. But not just plain old pockets. No, these are pockets that are made from a material that she specifically picks out for her customer, something that will empower them, remind them of who they are, where they've come from. And she prays for these women while she makes these skirts and these powerful, personal pockets. Seriously. Check her out. But don't fall too deeply in love with her talent, because I believe there is a pretty serious wait for a skirt!

We also discuss:

• America World - which is the organization she went with to go through her adoption
• Cocooning - the process in which you basically create a cocoon around your adoptive babes
• How to Adopt Without Ruining Your Family by Cheri Strange. This is a devotional that you can find in your Bible app, but I also found Cheri's blog, which is where the link will take you. Love this straight-forward, so sugar-coating view of adoption.
• I also mentioned that I found Jen through Shannon of Sassy Soirees, so if you are in need of a wedding or event planner - this girl is amazing!
• It took the Walsh family about 3 years, THREE YEARS, to feel like a normal family. Things were hard for 3 YEARS. If you are in the middle of year one, and things are hard - you aren't doing anything wrong, and you did not make a mistake in choosing to foster or adopt! Sometimes things are hard. Keep pressing on my friend!
• International adoption costs tens of thousands of dollars. State adoption through foster care (usually) cost us $0. people are called to different things, and Jen and her family were able to see God do Ah-Mazing things as they raised money to bring their two boys home.

(Good) Words of The Day:

We have A LOT! Cause Jen loves Jesus and has really needed to lean on Him, and His word. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 "He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ" Philippians 1:6 Jen LOVES Philippians apparently. But my favorite thing that she shared, is that since she was a child, she would tell herself "God is in this place", and often in the beginning days of the boys being home with her, she would hide in a room and tell herself "God is in this place, God is in this place!" I love this interview so much. I hope you love it as much as I do, and I am so thankful for Jen giving us so much of her precious time, and sharing her huge heart with us. Until next week!

I am thrilled to have my licensing worker - Kelly Lewis, on the podcast with me today! A licensing worker is someone who helps you get your fostering license. Kelly has been with us for almost 4 years, and she has turned into a sweet friend who I truly cannot live without.

Kelly has been working at Christian Family Care Agency for 21 years! So she has a lot of wisdom and knowledge to share about her job and agency.

Check them out if you are at all interested in becoming a foster parent, their special youth placement program, being a mentor to a foster child, infant adoption, their safe families program, and many other volunteer opportunities! 

Other Great Links:

We mention DCS a lot, and that stands for Department of Child Safety. You can also find out more about being involved in the Foster Care and Adoption crisis in Arizona.

We talked about one of my instructors from my PSMApp classes, Roderick Logan, and how he is a part of this amazing institute that helps children with trauma: Trauma Informed Parent.

(Good) Word of The Day:

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." - James 1:27

Everyone can play a role in helping orphans and widows, and those infinitely less fortunate than ourselves! We cannot respond to the need, because the need is too great. But we can respond to the calling that has been placed on our hearts.

 

Welcome back my friends!

Today's episode is a fun, and not-fun one, as we dive into the good and bad, the hard and the happy, basically all the dichotomies involving foster care and adoption.

Stay tuned til the end for a very brief interview with 3/4 of my kids! Wesley is not in it, because 1. He was asleep 2. It's hard to understand what he is saying cause he is two. 3. The world is not ready for his brand of cuteness just yet.

In this episode:

I talk about how it is important to remember that sometimes the thing that we as foster parents are the most excited for, comes at the cost of one of the worst, or hardest days for our foster babes.

This is true for the story of adoption as well. Though kids may be happy to have a new family, and new opportunities, this comes at the cost of being separated from their bio families.

I lose my mind and can't remember the difference between fiction and non-fiction because it was almost midnight and I am no longer sharp past 9pm... I meant to say that the story of Christ is not fiction. It is non-fiction, as in it's all true. I have a degree in English Literature. I basically brought shame to the entire English Department at the University of Toronto with this one. My bad.

I mentioned Restless by Jennie Allen. She talks a bit about Hebrews 11, and the Hall of Fame of Faith, and how these great people endured hard things that brought about great results. Like Abraham having to leave everything he knew to start a new nation. Or even David who had to deal with his shame and guilt, but was still able to pursue God wholeheartedly.

So many beautiful things come from hard, broken, even terrible situations. This is Redemption. This is what happens when you put things in God's hands, and He is able to create something from the ashes.

God also is a gap-filler. And in foster care and adoption - there are SO MANY GAPS to fill. And we as the parents cannot fill those. I am thankful that the God I serve is more than able to do this, and so much more.

The (Good) Word of the Day:

 ^"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

The cost and benefit of Christ dying on the cross was huge. The cost was High. And the benefit - even higher. And all this while we are ungrateful sinners. That is a beautiful picture of love, and we are thankful for the example Christ set for us.

This is a bit of a preachy episode, and I apologize for that. But it's Easter! And I am so thankful to serve a God who loves me So Much. All glory be to Him. Amen.

Welcome to Episode 8! Chris is back in the Guest/Co-hosting Chair, and we talk about a great book called The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor. We dive into how Positive Psychology has gotten us to where we are, and how a little positivity, as well as negativity, can spread like wildfire. So, what will you choose to spread today? Will you be like Branch, or Princess Poppy from Trolls? Chris is definitely Princess Poppy. Chris' favorite takeaway from this book, that he found here, is "not the belief that we don’t need to change; it is the realization that we can."

In this episode, we mention:

• The Corner Bakery. Home of the BBLT: Bacon Bacon Lettuce Tomato sandwich. Chris's favorite. New location can be found at the Arizona Center. But click the link to find a Corner Bakery near you. Maybe you will run into Chris and I there on a hot date.
• Shawn Achor's TedTalk, where he basically tells you all about this book in 12 minutes. Still worth the read though.
• EMMA STONE from The Help. Ugh. Drew a complete blank on her name while recording this episode. She played Skeeter Phlan, and Viola Davis played Aibileen Clark. All names that would not come to me.
• Love Does by Bob Goff. The part where he talks about getting into law school is not a lesson in how to get into law school. Instead, it shows the power of our words and how they can change people's lives.
• Steve Martin has hosted SNL 15 times. I thought it was 7. Chris wants to be the Steve Martin of the Fostering Voices Podcast. He should aim for Alec Baldwin status, as he has hosted 17 times. Here's the clip that made me think Steve, and my boy Justin, had only been on 7 times.

The (Good) Word of the Day

"A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones." -Proverbs 17:22

Even when we are in a negative situation, it is possible to still find good - if you look for it. Friends, we encourage you to be an empowered person who empowers people! With your life. With your attitude. With your words. And we also mentioned that if you are in need of prayer, we want to pray for you! Hit us up at [email protected] (I know. So unprofessional. A Yahoo account!) We are not just saying we will pray for you. We will actually do it. Thank you for walking on our journey with us. We want to walk on yours with you as well. And, if you have a moment, please leave a review of this podcast on iTunes!

Do you ever struggle with the right words to say? Someone tells you what they are up to, and this is not an invitation for you to tell them all the reasons you aren't doing the same thing. Try this on for size: "Wow. That's cool." For example, someone tells you that they are going to buy a new truck. Instead of telling them why you think that a bad idea,  financially and environmentally, why don't you just say: "Wow. That's cool." The reason I am talking about this today, is because as a foster parent, I hear something that drives me, and other foster parents, crazy. It goes a little something like this: Me: "Oh yeah, I am a foster parent." Others: "Wow. I could never do that. I would get too attached." Me: Swallowing my feelings of confusion/annoyance/hurt. So today, we are all - and I am included in this, going to learn to respond with: "Wow. That's cool."

Advice for future foster parents and all humans:

If you have said this to a foster parent before - do not feel bad or ashamed! I have personally heard this over 100 times. From family members, to friends, to waitresses, to people at the park. Sometimes we don't mean what we say, and sometimes people hear something that our words did not intend. But I am telling everyone - we still need to stop saying this. If you are about to become a foster parent - gird your loins. You Will Hear This. A lot. So prepare yourself now, and decide how you will respond. I used to feel so bad when people would say this to me. But I'm 4 years in, and used to the comment. I can now shake it off because Taylor told me to do so. I hope you will be able to do the same.

In today's episode, I mention:

• Michael J Fox's book: Always Looking Up: Adventures of an Incurable Optimist.  He says that it's "not all about protection, but perspective." And he talks about the beauty of Risk and Opportunity. I look at fostering like a great opportunity that certainly involves risk. And strangely enough, some of the risks involve not liking, or connecting with the child that comes into your home. We need to stop worrying about how to protect ourselves so much and shift our perspective on how we can help others, even if it's hard. This doesn't look like fostering or adopting for everyone. It's not what Michael talks about in his book at all. But what is something you might need to change your perspective on? There will probably be some risk, and some need to part with some of your time and/or resources, but the opportunities that await you, and the person you are going to help, are great.
• I also randomly mention a marketing book I am reading by Donald Miller called Building a StoryBrand. The gist of this book is that successful companies need to position themselves as a Guide to help a Hero (their customers) through their story. This is the basis of all great movies and books you have ever encountered. When I first started to foster, I made myself the hero of that period of my life. It didn't go well. I now realize that when I position myself as the guide, helping these little heroes through their stories, everyone wins. This is true in business, movies, and everyday life, whether you foster or not.
• I also mentioned my friend Hanna, who is a plant-based nutritionist, who makes Cashew Queso. I don't think she delivers, but you can still check her out on Facebook.
• I also want to take this opportunity to make peace with my listeners who are Cat People, Vegans, Exercise Freaks. I love you all equally and I admire you for all that you do. Sorry if I offended you in this episode, or at any other point in our relationship. I too am learning to respond with: "Wow. That's cool."

Today's (Good) Word of the Day:

"Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else," Galatians 6:4

Let's remember that the choices that others make are not a reflection on who we are, or the choices we make. Let's be confident in what we are doing, and how we are living, that we can simply celebrate what others are doing. Empowered people empower people! Thanks for tuning in and see you again next Saturday!

If you want to connect on Social Media, you can find me at:

Jihae Watson on Facebook Fostering Voices on Instagram Jihae Watson on Instagram and feel free to leave a review on iTunes or wherever you are listening to this podcast!

Today's guest is another personal fave! Elisa Watson is one of my dearest friends, also my twin (January 1981!), and my cousin in law! Elisa shares her personal experience with fostering a little girl for 21 months. This textbook-case little girl came as a 5 year old, and left as a wiser, and slightly better-adjusted 7 year old. My favorite part of Elisa's story is how she was able to continually support this little girl, and her family, after she was reunified with her parents. The village! Community! Support! We all need this, and I am beyond thankful for all the support I have received from Elisa as we walked through this difficult season together.

On today's episode, we talked about:

Elisa's podcast: Sines of Life Her fantastic church that has a great Foster Support Network! Dealing with Lice! Some resources in Arizona/East Valley and to find a clinic near you. Disciplining your kids in a heartfelt way: "The Heartfelt Discipline". (Obviously this was a fun episode, you are going to want to check it out!)

The (Good) Words of the Day

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, ⁴ who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. ⁵ For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. ⁶ If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. ⁷ And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

What great reminders that we all need to work on different aspects of love. And once we have that love, as well as the comfort that comes from loving and trusting in God, we are then able to give it all away to those in need of those things as well. Thanks so much for your time, and being willing to share your story with us all today, Elisa! You can also read more about her time with her foster babe, and life in general on her blog.    

Today's guest is my precious friend Jamie Pieper. She has a true servant's heart, and I am so thankful that she is here to share her story with us. Jamie is the mom of 2, and former foster mom of 2. We get to hear about how she got to, and then survived Disruption. Disruption in the foster care world is much akin to divorce, and comes with a lot of the same stigma. But Jamie talks about how it was absolutely the right call for her family, how she overcame the shame and embarrassment that came with it, and what she is doing now to still be involved in foster care. She talked about something very interesting, which we didn't expound on at the time, but she mentions that maybe if she had had more community support, she might not have been so exhausted and run down. And this is what we are here for - to raise awareness, and provide support! If you are a foster family and are feeling like you are on the brink of disruption - let people know! Ask for help! And if you are have disrupted in the past, please do not feel embarrassed or ashamed. You tried something, and it was really hard, and the time you spent with that foster kid(s) was important and valuable and will still impact those kids in the long run. Finally, as a community, can we agree to not shame, or gossip about families who have disrupted? None of us actually knows what happens in someone else's home. We need to support, and love, and serve one another.

Other things to be aware of in this episode:

• I almost start bad-mouthing Women's Bible Studies. And then I feel convicted mid-sentence and stop. It's awkward and I'm sorry you have to hear it. That particular study was not my favorite, but that's not to say that all women's bible studies are bad! If you are interested in joining one at my church (Sun Valley Community Church) we do them on Thursday mornings, and they are as great as you make them!
• My stinkin dog barks in it twice. I didn't know if it would be better or worse to lock him out of the room, but I didn't want him to be scratching at the door, so I let him sit in the room. But then a squirrel must have been in the vicinity (which is amazing since we don't have squirrels in these here parts), and so he leaps off his seat with a mighty bark, twice, and basically ruins this episode.
• Jamie mentions this Jeremy Camp song that helped her to feel empowered in her trials, Same Power  
• She also talked about KLOVE, which is a Christian radio station, that apparently knows the song you need to hear and plays it. Just kidding. That's all the Holy Spirit. You can listen to Klove here, if you don't live in the US.

The Good Word of the Day:

 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10

Thanks to Jamie and Andrew, for how well they love my little family, and serve others around them. Their family is one that is truly focused on living their best life - for Christ's glory. And thanks to their sweet girls who did their best to serve their foster siblings when they lived together. I truly believe that the bio kids in families play a big role to make it possible for parents to even think about fostering. So, great job Brooklyn and Reagan! Thanks so much for tuning in to today's episode! Feel free to leave a comment, or leave a review on iTunes. Until next time - get out there and serve others, and love them well.

Today's guest is so special. She gives me hope for being a parent, but specifically a foster parent - because she herself was a foster babe, and is now a successful, wonderful, loving, and caring adult/wife/mother. Brandi is one of the few adults that I know who was a foster child, and she shares her journey with us on today's podcast. Along with how she found herself in foster care, and how she grew up in a broken adoptive home, Brandi offers sage advice on how to be a successful adoptive parent, and how to eat a replanted celery stalk. We jumped right into Brandi's story, and I pretty much introduce her at the end (I am still getting the hang of this!), but some quick tidbits about Brandi: She is of Thai, Irish, and Hispanic descent. She is 35 and has 5 kids. She is a photographer and lifestyle/food blogger. She thinks that she is not fully rad, so she is Rad-ish. But I think she is the Raddest. I'm friends with Brandi, and you can be too! Find Brandi on Social Media and Online: Photography website  Instagram: B Hansen Photography Radish Mama website Instagram: Radish Mama

Today's Good Word of the Day:

"They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." Jeremiah 17:8

Brandi reminds me of this verse. She is like a tree planted by the water, that is strong and bears great fruit, despite the rocky beginnings she had. I'm glad you got to hear Brandi's voice today, and hope you will join me again for next week's episode. And the photo cred has to go to her as well. I believe this is from her trip to Amsterdam last year.