Lighten Up with Melanie Dale

Hey welcome to episode 106 of Lighten up with Melanie Dale. BONUS ILLNESS EDITION. I know I said we concluded the Lighten Up with Illness series, and I'm well into working on our next series, Lighten Up about Friendship Over 40, but recently Stephanie Tait ran across my path and she has a new book called The View from Rock Bottom so, I mean, I was dying to talk to her about how she lightens up down there at rock bottom. Stephanie talks about her tenacious 15-year journey to getting diagnosed with Lyme Disease, what it's like living with Lyme, and how she learned to lighten up and let herself have a life in the midst of disability, instead of waiting indefinitely until everything was all better. She asked herself, "What if this is my life...what am I waiting for?" Stephanie is hopeful and real and I know you'll love hanging out with her as much as I did, so listen in and lighten up.

Links from the show:

• The View from Rock Bottom
• Check out Stephanie's website: www.stephanietaitwrites.com
  Find her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram
• Under Our Skin documentary
• Glorious Weakness by Alia Joy, who was just on episode 105 of Lighten Up
• Disability and the Way of Jesus
• Light from Distant Stars by Shawn Smucker, who was on episode 43 of Lighten Up

Today for the finale to our series, Lighten Up about Illness, I'm talking with Alia Joy. You may remember her from episode 99, and now I'm happy to share that her new book, Glorious Weakness: Discovering God in All We Lack, is available now. Today we talk about her bipolar disorder, how it's impacted her life and her kids, and the unpredictability that comes with illness. She says, "I have to be okay with undone things." We talk about what she's learned from bipolar disorder, and Alia says, "Everybody goes through seasons. Mine are just more noticeable...Bipolar is like you're making sandcastles and they're just constantly being swept away." She shares about looking for beauty and wonder in places you'd never expect to find it, and the way she lightens up in the middle of everything is by raising funny kids. We talk about the amazing comedic timing of her kids and the blessings of having a funny family. Through her book and our conversation, Alia is teaching me so much, so grab a fuzzy blanket, get comfy, listen in, and lighten up.

Links from the show:

• Check out Alia’s new book, Glorious Weakness: Discovering God in All We Lack
• Find Alia on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram
• Alia’s website
• Listen to Alia's previous visit to Lighten Up Podcast, Episode #99
• Alia’s essays:
  • The Hospitality of Marriage
  • The Fluency of Hope
  • When I Am Bipolar
  • Coming of Age in This American Life
• The Atlas of Reds and Blues

We are in the middle of our series "Lighten Up about Illness" and today I'm talking with Lauren Gaskill, author of Into the Deep: Diving into a Life of Courageous Faith, and host of the podcast She Found Joy. Lauren has hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS), which affects her collagen, joints, and muscles. We chat about her road to finding a diagnosis, her treatments for EDS, and how she is lightening up and finding joy while managing her symptoms. Lauren shares how keeping an eternal perspective helps her lighten up about her circumstances, how she figures out the safe people to talk with about her disorder, and her advice for developing a supportive community. I'm so glad you're with us, so pull up a chair, listen in, and lighten up.

Links from the show:

• She Found Joy podcast
• Find a She Found Joy event near you
• Check out Lauren's book, Into the Deep: Diving into a Life of Courageous Faith
• "A Stink Bug Tried to Mate with Me" - my bug essay on Coffee+Crumbs
• Letters to the Church by Francis Chan
• Winning the Worry Battle by Barb Roose (Barb was on Lighten Up episode #75!)
• The Writing Desk by Rachel Hauck
• Pet Sematary by Stephen King
• Divergent by Veronica Roth

We're in the middle of our series, lighten up about illness, and today I'm talking with my friend Lesley Miller. Lesley and I met through Coffee+Crumbs, she's an incredible writer, and she's currently going through what she calls her second cancer year. Her husband Jonathan had cancer, and now her son Owen was diagnosed last October and has been going through treatment. We chat about the differences and similarities between adult cancer and childhood cancer, and how it's impacted her life and her other kids. Lesley shares what cancer has taught her, how they're coping and lightening up in the middle of this, and how she deals with the emotional burden of caring for her family. She says that the biggest gift people can give to people going through illness is seeing them. She shares how can we support our friends with kids dealing with life-threatening illnesses and advises us to let the parents take the lead. And maybe my favorite part of the interview is her insight into lightening up, how she sees two parts to lightening up - the soul work part and the everyday fun stuff. You have to do the first one in order to have the second. Lesley is incredibly helpful and insightful so if you have people in your life currently walking through childhood cancer and you're wondering how to support them, this is the perfect conversation for you, so listen in and lighten up.

Links from the show:

• Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman
• When Life and Beliefs Collide by Carolyn Custis James
• The American Marriage by Tayari Jones
• Tell Me More by Kelly Corrigan
• Twirl by Callie Feyen

Today I'm talking with Niki Hardy, author of the new book Breathe Again: How to Live Well When Life Falls Apart. Niki is a cancer survivor and she shares how her diagnosis affected her, how she handled telling her kids, parenting with cancer, and how humor helped her and her kids get through her cancer treatments. Also, uh, Niki had rectal cancer, so yeah, heck yeah, we talk about poop. She says, "You're never too young to love your bum." I know this is a conversation about cancer, but it's uplifting and hopeful and will help you reevaluate how you approach life...and also nudge you to get regular checkups and listen to your body. As Niki wisely shares, "Life doesn't have to be pain-free to be full," so listen in and lighten up.

Links from the show:

Preorder Niki's book, Breathe Again: How to Live Well When Life Falls Apart

Connect with Niki:

• Website www.nikihardy.com
• IG: @niki.hardy
• FB: @NikiHardyauthor

The Queen of Hearts by Kimmery Martin

Small Great Things and A Spark of Light by Jodi Piccoult

The Next Right Thing by Emily P. Freeman (Emily was on episode #29 of Lighten Up Podcast!)

Check check, is this thing on? Well hi there. I guess I'm back from hiatus and ready for more podcastery, so I thought I'd start with something super fun and light...illness? I know, illness is not historically a light topic, but we do learn coping tactics for getting through. How do we not descend into hopelessness when we're battling health problems? Today I kick off a new series in which I interview people dealing with various illnesses and how they learn to lighten up in the midst of the hard stuff. For this first episode, I interview myself. I talk about my endometriosis and also supporting loved ones with mental illness, ADHD, trauma, and autism. I also share how I learned to throw out expectations for what life would look like and my daily practice for lightening up. I always say that laughter makes us brave. Life's too long to take the whole thing seriously, so listen in, and lighten up.

Links from the show:

• It's Not Fair: Learning to Love the Life You Didn't Choose
• Infreakinfertility: How to Survive When Getting Pregnant Gets Hard
• Dead to Me (trigger warning about miscarriage)
• Subscribe to my monthly newsletter

I'm celebrating my 100th episode! ONE HUNDRED. This reminds me of the 100th day of school shenanigans when our kids have to bring in 100 items and dress up like 100-year-old people. It's basically, "Let's work in another stupid spirit day." I will not make you do homework to observe this 100th episode milestone, although if you want to celebrate by leaving me a review on iTunes, I would love that so much. I'm celebrating the day by sharing some big news that I've wanted to tell you for a while. I've got stuff percolating over here, and it starts with a broken promise. So listen to the episode to find out what's up, and then, my buddy Sarah Bragg and I talk about work, career, and purpose for our final monthly crossover of the year. We share funny stories from our first jobs, chat about what our dream jobs would be, and discuss how we can find our purpose, whether that's parenting, a dream job, or a dream-adjacent job, something you never thought you'd be doing. It's all important, and how do we figure out what we're supposed to be doing with our lives? Join us to discuss all the things, listen in, and lighten up!

Links from the show:

• Coffee+Crumbs "Exhale" community
• Big Magic
• Check out my new book, Infreakinfertility
• Sign up to be email friends with me
• Surviving Sarah Podcast – check out the other half of our conversation on work and purpose!
• Go be friends with Sarah Bragg!
  • Instagram
  • Facebook
  • Twitter

Today I'm talking with Alia Joy, author of Glorious Weakness: Discovering God in All We Lack. We start out trading colonoscopy stories. Anytime I can exchange poop stories with someone I'm pretty much in heaven. You know. After that, we chat about how we need to lighten up about grammar, then Alia shares about living with bipolar disorder, how she was diagnosed, and the stigma of mental illness. I know I'm not supposed to have favorite episodes but this one is so good. It's my favorite balance of fun and serious. Mental illness can feel so isolating, and Alia's openness with hers sheds light and helps us understand, empathize, and feel less alone. Whether you've had a colonoscopy, struggle with mental illness, or love someone who does, listen in and lighten up.

Links from the show:

• Preorder Alia's new book, Glorious Weakness: Discovering God in All We Lack
• Find Alia on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram
• Alia's website

Alia's essays:

• The Hospitality of Marriage
• The Fluency of Hope
• When I Am Bipolar
• Coming of Age in This American Life

Today I'm soooo excited for you to get to know Shannan Martin. Shannan is one of my faves. She's wise and fun and I just love the way she's living her life. She's got a new book out, The Ministry of Ordinary Places, and we talk about what led her to move from her dream farmhouse in the country to a life in the city. She shares about adopting four kids, including a 19-year-old son who was incarcerated, putting her kids into a "failing" public school with one of the highest poverty rates in the state, and what she's learning with a son who has been incarcerated about the school to prison pipeline. We chat about standing with our neighbors, how to be a good neighbor, and what it looks like to make yourself available and show up for them. Whether you live in the country, the city, or the suburbs like me, there's good stuff here for all of us, unless you live in a yurt on a mountain by yourself...no, even you, yurt-dweller. There's something here for you, too, so listen in, and lighten up.

Quotes from the show:

• "People say we need to bring God back in the schools. God is just already there."
• "Don't let fear of the unknown hold you back from getting a clear vision of what the kingdom of God looks like."

Links from the show:

• Check out Shannan's new book, The Ministry of Ordinary Places
• Find Shannan on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter
• Shannan's first book, Falling Free
• David Platt's Radical sermon series
• Radical book
• Kisses from Katie, Amazima ministry
• Kisses from Katie book
• My new book, Infreakinfertility

Today, Sarah Bragg and I are talking about failure on our monthly crossover episode. We pick all the super fun topics. But first, we give kind of an update about our weird fears, she with her extreme fear of a certain violent woodland animal and me with my terror of airborne mating plants. It's a whole thing. Anyway, then we chat about epic celebrity fails and our own personal fails and you guys, this is all soooo embarrassing and should make you feel better or at least in good company. We discuss how you handle failure and also how do you help your kids navigate failure and build resilient kids. Failure is so fun! Hey, we've all been there, so listen in and lighten up.

Links from the show:

• Check out my new book, Infreakinfertility
• Sign up to be email friends with me
• Surviving Sarah Podcast – check out the other half of our conversation on big fat failure!
• Go be friends with Sarah Bragg!
  • Instagram
  • Facebook
  • Twitter