Parenting Chats with Laura

Are your ears painted on? Can you just do as you're told?

Have you ever had these thoughts run through your head after trying to get your toddler out the door? It can feel very frustrating trying to get a toddler to do something and resorting to shouting and yelling can be a very well worn path in the social interaction with your resistant toddler.

The good news is that if you are intentional you can improve your toddler's listening skills. In this parenting chat we talk about how to:

1. Be slow to comment and quick to listen. Model active listening
2. Reduce the number of instructions that we are giving to give our toddlers time to follow one thing at a time.
3. Try to get their attention before giving them an instruction. Singing to them can be a great way to cut through the noise or something they are engrossed in
4. Have quality time in the car while they are strapped in. There is power in developing language and modeling taking turns to talk through car chats without having some music/screen/podcast.
5. When you are playing with your child try giving them an old phone and playing having a conversation with them taking turns.
6. Audiobooks especially for quiet time instead of kids youtube or watching a cartoon can be really amazing for developing their listening comprehension.
7. Action rhymes are not only fun but they are sequential so kids learn to associate names with actions. Kids learn through doing and music is a powerful medium to teach things without the kids even realising.
8. Specific praise is key. Good boy or good girl have limited meaning for toddlers. But making a sentence to let them know what you are impressed with will up the chances of them wanting to repeat the behaviour.
9. Kids often do parallel play where they learn alongside someone else. Instead of counting down the minutes until when they go to bed so you can rush around getting heaps of chores done save some to do while your toddler is awake. Helping with jobs empowers kids and gives them a sense of contributing. They learn so much while doing things alongside you.

For more great tips head on over to our Instagram page: https://www.instagram.com/looloostorenz/

Do you feel like you need to go to exercise confessional?

When did you last exercise?

Are you like me where you love it when you exercise and at the time wish you could do it more but when it comes down to it you don't prioritise it in your day or week?

Today I'm chatting with Renee Norman from She Moves Collective. She shares some great ideas for fitting in exercise to your busy day.If you have had a baby and are currently not exercising Renee talks about where to start. She discusses what to do if you are breastfeeding so your milk supply doesn't drop when you start exercising.

Renee explains her favourite exercise for Mums who have a baby under 4 months and why it's good for you.

Check out the show notes for this episode: https://looloo.co.nz/blogs/news/getting-back-into-exercise-after-pregnancy

Follow us on Instagram for more great parenting tips: https://www.instagram.com/looloostorenz/

Here are some useful links:

What exercises to avoid postpartum https://bit.ly/3LtMuRb

Kick start your postpartum recovery weeks 0-6 https://bit.ly/3JGSGUr

Why you shouldn't return to your normal exercise routine 6 weeks postpartum https://bit.ly/3GGJf5i

Get access to weekly workouts here: https://www.she-moves.co.nz/online-membership

Chicken liver, beetroot and pear - who would have thought that Tammy's baby would love this flavour combo!

In this parenting podcast chat, Tammy and I chatted about how easy it is to make baby food using everyday ingredients that are currently in your fridge.

There are so many families who are looking to save money on their weekly food bill right now. Making your own baby food means you can save money, create less wastage with packaging and you know exactly what is in each mouthful of food.

Put the different food that you have made into a cube tray and keep in a labelled bag so you can grab out the food when you need it without feeling that you have prepare a meal for your baby every meal from scratch.

Try using vegetables rather than fruit so they get used to different vege flavours before you introduce the sweet stuff.

Choose a time when your baby is feeling settled and happy to introduce solids. Have a time of the day where you are feeling relaxed and have the time to sit with your baby as your introduce each new food to them.

Alot of people don't want to start solids because of the mess. If you have a good bib that covers their clothes that helps to make it more manageable. Give them something that they hold onto while you are feeding them so they don't keep grabbing the spoon off you while you are trying to shovel food into their mouth.

View the show notes: https://looloo.co.nz/blogs/news/making-tasty-and-nutritious-baby-food

Have you ever played the "guess what my child is wanting game?"

They point at something because they want it and you can't work out what it is and before you know if they have descended into a category 10 tantrum.

The frustration that our little people can experience with not being able to express their needs or wants can be next level stressful.

Today, I'm so excited to be chatting with Hallie Pearson. She's a Mum and speech-language therapist based in Otago. 

Hallie shared communication strategies that work well when talking to a baby under 1. She recommends if you want to start using sign language try Makaton https://makaton.org.nz

Hallie explains how to develop toddler language from single words to phrases. She shares some great advice about dummy use during the day. She gives ideas for you to try next time if you find your toddler is getting frustrated when they can't communicate what they need or want.

I know there can be a lot of worry about whether our kids are keeping up when it comes to their language development, so Hallie and I chatted about how to know if we should ask for help from a speech-language therapist.

For more great parenting tips follow our Instagram page: https://www.instagram.com/looloostorenz/

The show notes for this episode are at: https://looloo.co.nz/blogs/news/toddler-talk

You can find Hallie here:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shoutspeechlanguagetherapy

Instagram: shout_speechie

Website: https://www.shout-speech.co.nz/

In this parenting chat we share some practical ideas for Mums who are parenting a toddler while pregnant

You are giving your child the gift of a forever friend. Take your foot off the accelerator and know that you don’t have to have high expectations on yourself to be the perfect parent.

You are going to have hard days but you don’t need to feel guilty that you are not spending the time you used to with your toddler.

Gentle Hands

Take the learning opportunity when they go up to your tummy to let them know that a baby is in there. Help them to use gentle hands so they know what ”gentle hands” feels like before the new baby arrives.

Practice where possible. When they go up to a friend’s baby, teach them how to approach the baby. Where to touch them and how to do this in a way that is gentle.

Involve them in the process

If you know you are having a c section or have an induction date then you could try having a countdown so they are aware that they are having a new sibling very soon. Make them feel apart of the process.

Prepare them emotionally

It’s important to prepare your toddler emotionally for the change they are about to experience. Will you need to transition your toddler out of their cot before your third trimester so they don’t feel that the baby is taking their things away?

A month before the baby is born you could create a book for them with simple captions and some photos. What are the things you want your toddler to know about newborn babies?

Avoid the toddler feeling left out

When the baby arrives, avoid an escalation in attention-seeking behavior by having visitors make a big deal about your toddler when they visit.

If a close family member is bringing a baby gift - can they bring a toddler gift as well?

Can the baby “give a gift” when the toddler first meets their baby sibling?

Daytime feeds on your own

While the baby is feeding it’s a great idea to have some things to keep your toddler occupied:

• Toys that the toddler plays with from a special box to keep them occupied while the baby is feeding are put away for the next time the baby feeds.
• Have a lunch box packed and have it close to you so if your toddler gets hungry they can have a snack and story with Mum while the baby feeds.

Be organised

• Before the baby arrives ask friends or family members to be around to help with the toddler so they can continue to get out and about while you are healing and bonding with your new baby.
• Ask a close friend to organise a meal train/roster
• Say yes to help people offer
• Book a house cleaner for a few months so you have more energy and time to spend with the kids.

Here are the show notes from this episode: https://looloo.co.nz/blogs/news/preparing-your-toddler-for-a-new-sibling

Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/looloostorenz/

Jenny Hale is a Parenting Coach from The Parenting Place.

Eating is a big emotional area where we as parents get invested. It can feel so much easier to get out the chicken nuggets and have them eat it or give them a bottle of formula so they don't go to bed hungry.

In this chat, we talked about how sensitive children who are thrown by anything different often have a bigger hurdle to climb when it comes to eating because they are more suspicious.

We can end up walking on egg shells to keep them happy and try to lead them into loving their food but by negotitating and talking about it all the time it can feel like we are putting pressure on them.

Jenny talked about how kids are researchers who pick up patterns and are very observant. They watch what happens in a situation and they know the predictable patterns. Children fit into the "food dance" where it can end up with the same dance steps - ending with them given different food from what the family is eating.

Ideas for getting more veges into their diet:

+ Enjoy vegetables and express how much you like them as you are eating with your child

+ Grow some veges at home and pick some so your child sees the connection between garden and table

+ Have some veges available before dinner if they are hungry while you are cooking dinner. This sub meal breaks it down into something smaller so it's not so overwhelming when they sit down to eat dinner.

+ Grate the veges into their meal

+ Keep offering veges at least 18 offerings. Don't make a big deal about it keep it light and lovely. You don't need to change what you are offering because your child is refusing it.

If we have got into the pattern where our child will only eat a selected food group(s):

+ change our language around it. We often talk kids into it by what we say. Watch what you say around food when your child is listening.

+ Offer something in a meal that they can eat so we are not going into a battle zone. Keep it light.

+ Offer a trying plate to sample and eat that is separate

It is tempting to set up dessert as a reward. Move away from dessert become part of a deal. Try to avoid sweet things being the best food group.

A child easily sniffs out control. Keep the atmosphere light and move away from negotiating deals. Make eating dinner a time to connect and chat about the day rather than a battleground.

You can grab a copy of Jenny's book here: https://looloo.co.nz/products/kind-firm-calm-parenting-book

You can work with Jenny to get some help and support with your parenting journey here: https://parentingplace.nz/coaching

If you enjoyed this episode check out our previous episode with Jenny: https://looloo.co.nz/blogs/news/parenting-together-with-your-partner

In this podcast, Michelle and I chatted about how to develop your child's learning and language while out in nature. We talked about making excuses to get them outside in a natural way including walking the dog & digging in the garden.

If your toddler or preschooler doesn't like walking very far, then this episode is full of wonderful ideas to inspire you to get them more active in nature.

Michelle shares the "roar" game and "count the tails" and the "alphabet game", that are some great distraction techniques for when the kids are getting tired or start complaining.

She shared ideas for how to display the special items that they collect and share videos from the experience with their ECE teachers to help build on their language.

View the show notes for this episode: https://looloo.co.nz/blogs/news/5-outdoor-play-ideas-for-toddlers

Find Michelle's Facebook group The Outdoorsy Mama.

Michelle's website: https://www.outdoorsy.co.nz/5-outdoor-play-ideas-for-pre-schoolers/

If you enjoyed this episode have a listen to our previous chat in episode 10: https://looloo.co.nz/blogs/news/getting-more-energy-when-you-feel-tired

Bronwyn’s Journey: Reflections of a Mum with 2 kids 16 months apart.

Bronwyn was on a work trip, all alone in her hotel room. She had been to the movies but decided not to have her usual - a glass of wine. She had an inkling. She went and got a pregnancy test. The minutes ticked away, she glanced down and realised that there were two lines. She was pregnant. It was unexpected and it took her breath away.

Bronwyn is a Mum of Evelyn and Knox.  I'm so excited that she is on the podcast this week because she has been on quite a parenting journey so far. She chats with me about what it has been like having a small gap between her kids. She explained what triggered her postpartum anxiety with her first baby.

She shares her journey through processing the shock when she found out she was pregnant when her first baby was only 7 months old followed by a sudden lock down.

She chatted about what she learned and how she had to put aside her pride and ask for help from her extended family. She shares the highlight of her parenting journey that makes her smile every day.

She encourages Mums to pick and choose the advice and opinions that they want to follow.

"You know your baby, yes seek advice but sometimes you just need to pick and choose what advice you take on board and let pass.”

Share this episode with a friend by sharing this link:https://looloo.co.nz/blogs/news/what-its-like-having-a-small-age-gap-between-kids

Follow Bronwyn: https://www.instagram.com/bronny_andherbugs/

Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/looloo_solutions/

In today's episode, we chatted with early childhood teacher Leah Tibbits from Leah and the First Years.

We chatted about the fact it is common for kids to be nervous about transitioning into an ECE centre. It is common for them to experience big emotions. At under 3 years, their brain is still developing so much. They are building the foundation of who they are attached to.

If your child is clingy, you can make it easier when you leave them at the centre by being proactive. It starts by talking about it at home. Create rituals to help your child to say goodbye ie a special high five, wave from a certain window each time.

Be confident as a parent as your child is reading your body language and energy. Try not to keep coming back and being uncertain to leave them with their teachers. "That's ok to be sad I'll come back this afternoon."  They need to know that you are going and not try to be sneaky and distract them, then leave them while they are not watching.

If you find your child regularly drags out goodbyes and gets very upset when you leave, have a chat with your child's favourite teacher. Talk about how you can work together to support your child and help them build relationships with other kids and their teacher. If they have a friend at daycare/kindy you could arrange a playdate with their whanau so your child can build attachment with another child that they will look forward to playing with at the ECE centre.

Children articulate their emotions different from adults. Know that you are not a bad parent when you walk away from your upset child in the morning dropping them off at daycare. Give your centre a call if you are worried that your child may be still crying or upset.

Find the notes for this episode at: https://looloo.co.nz/blogs/news/tips-for-helping-your-child-when-they-get-upset-at-daycare

Find Leah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leahandthefirstyears/

Kids love to have your undivided attention and reading creates those special bonding times which are the building blocks for your child’s brain development.

In this episode, Laura talks about 6 tips for developing your child’s brain through fostering a love of reading.

1. Build a habit

Model the process of reading so your kids think that reading is something you value. Have baskets of books easily accessible in different rooms of the house. Create a cosy reading space and position your baby so they can see your face as well as the book while you’re reading. Pop a book out during tummy time so they are starting to see books around the house from early on.

2. Choose rhyming books

Kids love books that have a rhythm and repetition. Choosing books that go beyond one word per page makes it far more engaging and fun for your little one.

3. High 5 for reading

Don’t fall into the trap of turning to every page and asking questions. It’s not preparation for a year 12 English exam. If you can point out 4 things that you see in the picture then ask a question you are building vocabulary and language development. It also feels more relaxed.

4. Build listening comprehension and imagination

Have you tried an audio book with your toddler? If you are in the car or at quiet time I encourage you to introduce audio books to your child. They are so much fun. They foster imagination and build listening comprehension. To find out more about quiet time for older toddlers have a listen to the podcast chat here

5. Create photo books

Print out photos of a favourite experience or different family members and create a book for your child to cherish. Not only do they love to read but it takes on a new level of awesome when the pictures include ones of themselves.

6. Make up stories

Tell a story each day. Your child will love watching your animated face and funny voice expressions as you tell a story to your child. If they are super wriggly using bathtime can be a good time to tell a story using the bath toys or just enjoying an engaging story that you tell them.

You may wish to tell a story during nappy change time to keep them looking and engaged with your face.

If you have loved this episode don't forget to share it with your friends so we have help more parents. 

View the show notes from this episode: https://looloo.co.nz/blogs/news/6-tips-to-help-your-baby-or-toddler-foster-a-love-of-reading

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