StephUp Podcast

You know when you are going through a hard time and want to hide away? This episode is about that. And about the fear of putting ourselves out there and comparing to others who seem to have it all figured out. 

I can only be me. My experiences and perspectives and skills make me, me. The comparisons on social media can freeze us. But it doesn’t mean anything. We can look to our own path and believe in ourselves and know that we have something to give.

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My Oma passed away today. She was 97. I didn’t get to know her that well due to distance and language barriers but when I think of strong women, she comes to mind. She went through a lot in her life and took on many responsibilities, that of marrying a man who already had 4 kids. 

A strong woman is someone who knows herself and is not afraid of it. She knows her boundaries and doesn’t just fall in line because that’s what you are “supposed to do”. If you don’t believe that you can be strong, know that you are. You have the power within you. It just has to be cultivated so you can bloom. 

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Procrastination has generally been labeled as a “bad” thing. But sometimes there are layers to it. And does it even help to label things as good or bad? Does it help to assign negative emotions to things? 

Sure, we don’t know what tomorrow will bring and yes, it is important to do things now instead of constantly putting it off. But understanding the reasons behind can be very helpful. It’s helpful for us to know so we can figure it out and so we can encourage instead of shame others as well. We want to be understood and we long for people to meet us where we are. 

Some of the reasons for procrastination can be overwhelm, fear of failure, fear of success, perfectionism and sometimes we need to have discernment on whether we even should take action.  

It doesn’t mean that we allow these reasons to keep us stuck and not moving forward. But as always, there are layers to being human and the complexities of everything we experience. There are layers to procrastination. It’s important to understand where these emotions and blockages come from. But we don’t need to add shame to these things

Encourage. Empower. Love. 

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I am thankful for the painful things. It taught me so much about myself and who I am and who I want to be. It taught me about understanding others who are in pain too. When you put others down, it makes you feel superior so you can feel better about yourself. Except it doesn't and that’s where you can see what’s truly within you. 

This all shaped me into the person I am today. It’s easier to empathise with others when you understand pain. 

It’s amazing how sending love to others can change you. We are sending out what we have within us. When I allowed my ego and anger to take over, I know I made things worse. 

Thank you for the experiences and the lessons. Thank you for the pain. The hardest person in your life is your greatest teacher. Loving that one person who seems to be the hardest to love changes you. And it changes them too.

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“I said that?! I did that?! I believed that?! I thought that?!”

We are all in different places at various times in our lives. If we look back at 5, 20, 40 years ago, we can see how many changes have taken place within us. It can be hard to look back and acknowledge that was you and that was embarrassing what you said or did, but it was also a previous version of you.

That was you and that was where you were at in that moment during that time.  We are all human and we all know what that feels like. Give yourself grace and recognize how far you’ve come. 

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“Thank you, body!” 

Have you ever said that to your body? Do you ever look at it and just thank it and love it? We put our bodies through so much. Add to that all the shame, addiction, self-harm, hatred, etc. 

Our trauma is trapped within our bodies. Let us free our bodies from the pain. 

I free myself. I love myself. I thank myself.

Accept and feel it. Feel the gratitude. Feel the beauty. 

Your body knows when you start to love yourself. Everything is connected. Let’s start speaking kindly to our bodies and help to heal ourselves from so much pain. 

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I've been asked before if I really needed to know what's within me and what's in my past. Sometimes, it's really not helpful to know and for some people maybe it isn't. For me, it was important to know myself; to know why I did what I did and how I tick. I had to go to the past to understand myself in order to adjust and move forward in my future. Only you can really answer if you really need to know.

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This is a live talk I did on the Wisdom App where I opened up a discussion about beauty standards. I want to thank the amazing guests that came on to share their thoughts and experiences on what it means to be beautiful and how the beauty standards that we were told were important have affected us over the years.

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What causes you to freeze up and second guess yourself on everything? We judge ourselves all the time and it can become such a barrier in our lives. It is such a human thing and we all do it. Those who can overcome are the ones who can let go and find empowerment in spite of it.

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There is only one you. We've all heard this before about how we are all unique but do we really believe it? And how do we find out who we really are?

It comes down to know yourself to grow yourself to heal yourself. And repeat. It's a circular movement that will continue to propel you forward as you uncover new layers within yourself. Make mistakes and learn from them. Listen to your inner voice and make more mistakes. Pivot and try something different so you can find out who you are and be uniquely you.

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