Learned Hands: The Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association

In this twentieth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry & Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire and a cast of several ask: Is GRRM successful in asking meaningful questions about his character’s ‘tax policies’?

Our analysis this week includes:

• Learned Hands invites wonderful and thought provoking amicus curiae briefs from WBA members Ray, Adriana, Pat, Jimi, Lo, Alex, Virginie, and some other guy (Frank).
• Merry and Clint wrestle with the proper legal standard to apply to the question, aided by Adriana and Ray.
• Steven Stark beautifully renders GRRM’s tax policy quotation.
• Pat raises great questions about baby orc genocide!
• Lo beautifully critiques GRRM’s treatment of Dany’s white saviorism.
• Alex points out gaping holes in GRRM’s treatment of race and sexuality.
• Jimi hoists the hosts on their own petard
• Virginie analyzes the question in the context of TORMUND THUNDERFIST, HUSBAND TO HOSTS, etc etc
• Frank manages to make an argument without mentioning Stannis EVEN ONCE.
• Clint talks about tax policy and crenelations!
• Merry does a sexy Oberyn Martell impression!
• The court renders an opinion on both the book AND the show.

Supplemental reading:

• Pat's essay on how the Starks are like Orcs
• Clint's essay on Westeros and the Social Contract
• Lo the Lynx's treasure trove of essays

Extensive editing by LittleWolfBird. Bumpers by Jimi Mac. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY.

In this nineteenth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry & Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire ask: How does the Law In Literature inform interpretations of the Dance of the Dragons?

Our analysis this week includes:

• A blow-by-blow breakdown of the Blacks’ response to the Greens’ coup and the varying tragedies that follow.
• A thorough explanation of exactly why Daemon Targaryen, Criston Cole, and Aemond Targaryen all suck so much ass.
• Learned Hands bends the knee once again to Rhaenys Targaryen, the Queen Who Never Was.
• We discuss how the varying perspectives of the narrators influence both Fire & Blood and illuminate various issues in the main ASOIAF narrative.
• Merry is finally won over to the idea that Fire & Blood and the Dance of the Dragons and (hopefully) HotD is Good, Actually.
• Clint offers his First Ever ASOIAF Theory about what Blood & Cheese means to the main narrative!
• Our hosts connect the Dance of the Dragons directly to the storytelling surrounding the American Civil War.
• Learned Hands finally touches on the Blackwood-Bracken Feud LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOO.

Supplemental reading:

• English Law before the Conquest (Chapter 1) - The Cambridge Companion to Medieval English Law and Literature

Extensive editing by LittleWolfBird. Bumpers by Frank. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY.

In this eighteenth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry & Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire ask: What role did Westeros’ legal system play in enabling the Greens' coup? What lessons can we learn from it?

Our analysis this week includes:

• Learned Hands returns to the Dance of the Dragons as we cover the aftermath of the Great Council of 101AC and the weirdly flaccid reign of Viserys I.
• We detail all of the various institutional, historical, and legal factors that facilitated the Greens' power grab.
• Lots of comparisons to real-life coups, including the failed attempt we all just lived through.
• Your hosts give you their fair and balanced opinions on Daemon Targaryen (who sucks).
• Clint giddily rants about Varys' Riddle AND Federalist 10 AND gets to make a tortured Seven Kingdoms/Federalism analogy for like three hours.
• Merry instructs you, the listener, on how to pull off a 100% successful coup!
• (lol jk)
• We ask the question of whether Westeros is actually fit for unified government.
• My god so much swearing.

Supplemental reading:

• Tayyab Mahmud, Jurisprudence of Successful Treason: Coup d'Etat & Common Law, 27 CORNELL INT'L L. J. 49 (1994), https://digitalcommons.law.seattleu.edu/faculty/543
• Coup d'État: A Practical Handbook, Revised Edition: Luttwak, Edward N.: 9780674737266: Amazon.com: Books see also CHART: How to Execute a Coup (businessinsider.com)
• Clint's discussion about Varys' Riddle on NotACast for ACOK Tyrion II

Extensive editing by LittleWolfBird. Bumpers by Adriana, Lady Counselor of the Summer Isles and Archmaester of Pedantic Sophistry. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY.

In this seventeenth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry & Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire and special guest BryndenBFish from the NotACast Podcast ask: Did the Brotherhood Without Banners commit war crimes?

Our analysis this week includes:

• A MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT TWOW
• Jeff pretends he is a lawyer AND that he is Merry & Clint’s client somehow all at the same time?
• Detailed discussion about how the BWB fits into the legal framework of war including the knightly code, the Hague/Geneva Conventions, the ICC, the UCMJ, the unitary executive theory, Guantanamo Bay, and also Cylons?
• The panel decides whether Ned Stark’s original authorization was legal (it was).
• A hearty debate as to whether the BWB under Beric is all that different than what it appears to be under Lady Stoneheart.
• We also finally explain to everyone who hasn’t already googled it who Learned Hand was.
• Obviously we also force Jeff to do the Sandor voice.

Supplemental reading:

• Jeff’s blog, his podcast, and his twitter (don’t follow him there)
• “Crimes and Consequences in Ancient Rome”
• Congressional Research Service Report on Special Prosecutors and Independent Counsel
• Blog post from a Collection of Unmitigated Pedantry comparing warfare in HBO’s Game of Thrones to warfare in the historical medieval period

Extensive editing by LittleWolfBird. Bumpers by Micah of Clark. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY.

In this sixteenth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry & Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire ask: If the election happened in modern America, was the election of Lord Commander Jon Snow legitimate?

Our analysis this week includes:

• Learned Hands returns to the Night’s Watch for the first time in a WHOLE YEAR, since our very first episode!
• Everyone makes very fucking measured and balanced arguments about the Electoral College, the 2020 Election, and Rudy Guiliani
• Just kidding.
• As per usual, Clint shoehorns Natural Rights philosophers into a completely unrelated discussion.
• Merry goes Full Kornacki.
• So many absurd and frankly offensively bad accents.
• Your hosts dig in on the similarities between the Night’s Watch electoral procedures and the American constitutional doctrine of One Person One Vote.
• Deep details about the way Nights Watch elections do and perhaps should work.
• Merry side-eyes the fuck outta Sam Tarly and defends Stannis Baratheon.
• I guess you could say things get weird.

Supplemental reading:

• Election Contests and Disputes
• State and Federal Election Contests: An Overview
• Radiolab Presents: More Perfect - The Political Thicket | Radiolab
• California Code, Elections Code - ELEC § 16100 | FindLaw
• Reynolds v. Sims
• Baker v. Carr
• A Decision That Cannot Be Defended on Shelby County v. Holder (2013).
• Right-wing trolls Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman charged with felony voter intimidation | Salon.com

Extensive editing by LittleWolfBird. Bumpers by Dolorous Ray. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY.

In this very special BONUS LIVESTREAM, Merry & Clint give you the skinny on what went into Episode 15, the Horny Trial of Rhaegar Targaryen, including an update on the current jury voting, behind-the-scenes info on the cast, and much much more! Also included is:

• Comments from the jury themselves as to why they voted a certain way!
• So many dick jokes!
• A discussion as to who is the horniest character in ASOIAF
• Merry & Clint give you their favorite SCOTUS cases (that are both dirty!)
• The most profane explanation of the "conscious disregard" standard imaginable.

Want to have access to/attend/appear in these livestreams in the future? Sign up for the Westerosi Bar Association at the Amicus Curiae Level or above!

Voting for the trial episode is open until February 4. Vote today!

CAST YOUR JURY VOTE HERE

VIEW THE EPISODE TRANSCRIPT HERE

Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY.

In this fifteenth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry & Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire & a hilarious cast of dozens give you: The Horny Trial Of Rhaegar Targaryen!

This episode includes:

• Learned Hands’ first ever TRIAL EPISODE, featuring the vocal talents of many of your favorite fandom creators!
• Horny Judge Chloe Gone Canon rules on sexy objections!
• Horny Bailiff Eliana Gone Canon keeps everyone in line!
• Clint tries to prosecute the Dragon Prince directly into horny jail!
• Merry does everything she can to get Rhaegar off (from a bonking)!
• Thirsty testimony from Robert Baratheon! Eddard Stark! Oswell Whent! Howland Reed! And more!
• An opportunity for you, the listener, to cast your vote on two separate counts of bonking!
• The FINAL VERDICT will be coming (HEY-O) two weeks after the episode drops!

CAST YOUR JURY VOTE HERE

VIEW THE EPISODE TRANSCRIPT HERE

Special thanks to the following people for their efforts in making this episode as fun and great as it was:

• Chloe from Girls Gone Canon as the Horny Judge
• Eliana from Girls Gone Canon as the Horny Bailiff
• Kristine Kippins as the Horny Expert Witness
• Frank Bumb as Robert Baratheon
• LittleWolfBird as Elia Martell
• Zach from Leaf Hall as Eddard Stark
• AegonTheSixth as Oswell Whent
• Lo The Lynx as Howland Reed
• Aziz from History of Westeros as Arthur Dayne
• Maddie Kay Ray as Lyanna Stark AND transcript editor

Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. Additional music by Shakes of Thrones. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY.

In this fourteenth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry & Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire ask: How does the First Law of Braavos shape the Braavosi legal system?

Our analysis this week includes:

• It’s Learned Hands’ second trip across the Narrow Sea!
• Clint offers an extremely tenuous analogy about Braavosi checks and balances!
• An in-depth analysis of the reasons why and how the First Law of Braavos developed!
• Everyone says only VERY GOOD THINGS about modern democracies!
• Merry asks the question on everyone’s mind: are the Braavosi the baddies?
• Everyone is shocked as neither Merry nor Clint can shut up even a little bit about constitutional legal theories!
• WBA members interrogate our Hands on the suboptimal parts of Braavosi society!
• The Braavosi First Law is compared and contrasted with a MYSTERY constitution explicitly based on upholding slavery! There is NO WAY you will guess which constitution it is!

Supplemental reading:

• Democracy’s Identity Problem, (discussing Habermas and Constitutional Patriotism)
• America Right or Wrong: An Anatomy of American Nationalism,
• Hannah Arendt, Between Past and Future,
• Roberto Unger, Personal Website,
• Constitutional design without Constitutional Moments,
• Gamifying constitutions
• Constitutional Design in the Ancient World, ,
• Atlantic articles talking about the US constitution in the context of contemporary problems
  • https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2020/11/yes-constitution-democracy/616949/,
  • https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2018/10/james-madison-mob-rule/568351/
• https://www.whatitmeanstobeamerican.org/identities/the-black-freedom-colonies-of-appalachia-where-former-slaves-could-speak-their-minds/
• 5-4 Podcast, Shelby County,
• Frederick Douglass on the Anti-Slavery Constitution: https://global.oup.com/us/companion.websites/fdscontent/uscompanion/us/static/companion.websites/9780199751358/instructor/chapter_5/frederickdouglas.pdf

Editing by LittleWolfBird. Bumpers by Kelly. Reading by Zach. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY.

In this VERY SPOOPY 13th episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry & Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire, along with Expert Witness JoeMagician ask: What are the Privileges & Immunities of the UNDEAD?

Our analysis this week includes:

• FUN! WHIMSY! SPOOPINESS!
• A surprisingly in-depth and NOT AT ALL BULLSHIT explanation of the rights of the UNDEAD!
• JoeMagician, expert witness on Westersoi ghouls, gets VOIR DIRE’D all the way to HELL!
• Clint uses burrito analogies to explain the Rule Against Perpetuities, the SCARIEST concept in all of LAW!
• Merry uses TEXTUAL ANALYSIS to decide whether Jon Snow is guilty of MURDER!
• No one wants to talk about THE SUPREME COURT!
• One or more of your hosts gets even DRUNKER than USUAL!
• Everyone urges you not to have SEX with the DECEASED!

Supplemental reading:

-JoeMagician on twitter and youtube.

-NatGeo on burying people in a pandemic.

-Prosecuting the undead in a zombie apocalypse.

-The Constitution is not dead, no matter what this article says.

Editing by LittleWolfBird. Spoopy Bumpers by Aemy Blackfyre. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY.

In this episode, our hosts begin their Dance Party Series, covering the legal issues in the Dance of the Dragons. In Dance Party Vol. I, Merry & Clint ask: What precedents, if any, were created by the Great Council of 101 AC?

The Episode also features:

• Our hosts answer the question: what the heck is a precedent!?!
• Clint gasses on about Montesquieu a whole bunch!
• A discussion of “stare decisis” with very unsubtle real world implications.
• Discussion of Valyrian steel swords, even lost ones like Brightroar!
• Everyone shits on the Electoral College!
• Learned Hands declares for Rhaenys Targaryen!
• Merry brings back her Catelyn Stark accent!
• A complete and thorough destruction of the false notion of an Iron Precedent which bars a woman or a man from a female line from inheriting the Iron Throne!

References & Supplemental Reading:

-Clint’s essay on the Great Council of 101 AC.
-Jaeharys Targaryen's family tree.
-Steven Attewell's Hollow Crowns and Deadly Thrones Essays, going into his concept of a Dracocracy.

Intro/Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants.