My Dad Stole My Limelight

I feel super lucky to have spent time chatting with this week’s guest, Tin Lorica. I have admired them as a stand-up comedian for a long time, and as you will learn in this episode, they’re also an incredibly talented poet, too. In fact, I got to hear from Tin about how their first stint in poetry and being on stage led them to comedy too. Now they explore their creative art through both and we are so lucky! Check out Millenial Line, a live comedy and poetry show they co-host.

If Tin looks familiar, it might be because you have seen them on stage around the city of Vancouver, in Season 2 of CBC’s New Wave of Stand Up, on many many shows each year at Vancouver’s Just For Laughs Festivals or if you were as lucky as me, you would have caught them opening for Alok at The Rio Theatre. Seeing them on that show, as a fellow poet/comedian to Alok, was A TREAT! I think about the show often, almost a year later. It was an incredible experience and Tin absolutely crushed the show. Amazing.

When I asked Tin what they would like to share in our conversation, they told me they would love to give their perspective from someone who is a first-generation Filipino nonbinary bitch. Need I say more? Obsessed with them. While sharing this experience, Tin delves into their thoughts about respecting their energy. As a lot of us know, the experience of coming out is an ongoing one, but Tin explains a refreshing approach of caring less and less when it comes to people they do not know. They say if people want to know, they can ask questions. If not, that is awkward for that person, not for them. Energy is precious. Hell yeah.

Additionally, Tin shares how they learned to enjoy themself as a newly independent Queer person and found support through the people in their Women’s Studies program — a lot of whom were gay and all shared similar values — when they first moved to Vancouver.

In this episode:

It is an ongoing theme: this is a podcast about coming out and mullets!

Revealed! Queer people might hold each other to higher standards than boring straight people! You heard it here first! Maybe.

We discuss both navigating confusing feelings as a teen through our writing!

I discover that Tegan and Sara had an impression on Tin’s journey. Icons!

Tin delves into how most Queerness is centered around whiteness! Listen up!

We want to tell you that is really hard to make friends in Vancouver! But East Van is a winner!

I tell you why everyone should be a guest on The Drew Barrymore Show! Especially Tin!

We decide that we need more fun perverts!

RESOURCES

Follow Tin on Instagram! @selfiemixtape 

Watch Tin on Season 2 of New Wave of Stand Up on CBC Gem

Get a copy of Tin’s chapbook - Soft Armour by DM’ing them on IG 

CONNECT WITH MDSML:

Subscribe to our fun mailing list for FREE updates: mdsml.substack.com

Podcast production and editing made possible by: Alexi Johnson and Alistair Ogden

Email us: [email protected]

Follow the podcast network: @604podnetwork

Logo Art: @raphe.ca

Music: Shawn Kangro

It is SUCH a treat for me to have the one and only Em Cooper on the podcast this week. They are honestly the first comedian I saw live that stopped me in my tracks and made me reevaluate everything and decide “Oh shit, this is the comedy I want to listen to!” and everything they do makes me feel the same.

Em and I have a delightfully cute chat that delves into the different parts of Em that show up in their life. Em says that coming out feels like an ongoing process of discovering these parts and learning how to accept and appreciate the gifts and skills each part offers. Truly beautiful. We dig into this healing and way of processing some more by discussing Internal Family Services (IFS) therapy. As Em jokes in this ep, it should be a pyramid scheme because they want everyone to know about it and I AM ALL IN! Listen to this episode and you will absolutely understand why.

Side note: I laugh nervously — a lot — in this episode because I am so thrilled to be in the presence of such a wonderful and wise human who I admire and who has taught me so much through the way they share their awesome self in the world. This episode is no exception.

In this episode:

Pop culture Queer icons in the cartoon and plush toy variety are revealed!

We hear from Em’s Mom, Sheila who is a lovely legend!

Em nerds out about therapy stuff and I am all for it!

You will hear why Queer sports teams are the best and Em 10/10 recommends them!

Halifax! It’s a place! And there is something in the water, or Alexander Keiths maybe?

We wonder if being someone’s third date of the day is a good thing if there are only three dates in the day!

We have no wiggle room on the fact that Queer porn must have a heavy plot!

You may go down a Google rabbit hole of Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson and never regret it after listening!

RESOURCES

Listen to Em’s podcast, Cathartic Laughs

Sign up for Em’s Cathartic Laughs newsletter

Cathartic Laughs’ LinkTree with SO MUCH GOOD STUFF

Listen to Gin There Done That, with Em and their partner Glen

Follow Em on Instagram

The book Em mentions: Greater than the Sum of our parts by Richard Schwartz on Audible

CONNECT WITH MDSML:

Email us: [email protected]

Subscribe to our fun mailing list for FREE updates: mdsml.substack.com

Follow the podcast network: @604podnetwork

Art: @raphe.ca

Music: Shawn Kangro

Audio produced and edited by: Alexi Johnson

This episode was recorded on National Coming Out Day and released on Nessa’s birthday. So like everything else Nessa does, it is perfect. I am obsessed with this human. As a fellow iconic demisexual — among other amazing identities she will discuss in this episode — Nessa is an incredibly talented stand-up comedian, a super gifted and accomplished screenwriter and one of my favourite travel companions.

Nessa opened up to us about how not having the words for your sexuality can hold you back from expressing yourself. However, once you have a label to put on it, it can be so beneficial to feel confident in yourself and how you will navigate relationships.

God is a huge part of Nessa’s story and continues to be. We get to hear the journey from coming out at a young age in Catholic school — which ultimately affected the course of her coming out entirely — to now. I am really grateful to hear how she has found a space to be a wonderful queer human who is ever present in her faith.

Maybe the best line from an MDSML episode, ever? When Nessa says: “It was filth, but it was my filth, and I loved it”.

In this episode:

• We examine the trials and tribulations of demisexuality!
• Nessa and I miss each other a lot and want to be IRL together again!
• The importance of God in Nessa’s life is discussed and where sexuality fits into that!
• We reminisce on a cemetery walk we took together when we met!
• Lauren discovers how important MCR (and fan fiction) was for a lot of sexual awakenings — including Nessa and Alexi!
• Nessa applies WWJD to her coming out and I AM HERE FOR IT!
• We compare bisexuality and pansexuality and how people receiving the information of your sexuality might mean opportunities are being ruled out!

RESOURCES

• Follow Nessa on Instagram: @nessa.chileshe
• Subscribe for free to read Nessa’s Substack: nessacwrites.substack.com 

CONNECT WITH MDSML:

Email us: [email protected]

Subscribe to our fun mailing list for FREE updates: mdsml.substack.com

Follow the podcast network: @604podnetwork

Art: @raphe.ca

Music: Shawn Kangro

Audio produced and edited by: Alexi Johnson

Producer alert! This week’s ep is with someone who makes it all possible and I am so excited I got to put her in a different chair, it’s Alexi! In this episode, Alexi opens my eyes to so many possibilities — it really is a beautiful conversation with constant reminders to listen to your inner voice and be true to yourself.

Alexi talks in depth about how they have always made a point to be authentic in every aspect of their life and to be non-conventional. So when it comes to what is traditionally expected of people and their genders and sexuality, they apply the same logic. Badass. We also delve into the pressure to conform that naturally surrounds us. Particularly, the times when we are finding ourselves wanting the “idealised version of life” — that creeps in scarily quickly when we start to get comfy with someone — when in actual fact it is just a milestone that has been “ingrained” in so many ways.

I am really grateful for Alexi’s openness to share how when they were growing up, she felt a lot of shame for feeling "pervy" for who and what she liked, which led them to feel unsafe about sharing completely. They mention that they think a lot about how she behaved in order to both hide and indulge their interests and look back with happiness about how far they have come.

In this episode:

• We talk about our internalized “traditional” values and how Alexi is consciously working on breaking those down!
• Alexi shows how allowing yourself exploration is such a beautiful thing!
• We (maybe) coin the term “exploring the ick!”
• Alexi reveals their guilty pleasure, which is very relatable!
• We express our dislike for the pressures of gendered roles in relationships!
• We hear from Alexi’s first boyfriend and it is very lovely!
• Alexi and I both share clear memories of queer sexual urges before we even had our sexual education!

RESOURCES

• Follow Alexi on Instagram @youngalexi_
• Check out Alexi on Twitch! livefastsimhard

CONNECT WITH MDSML:

Email us: [email protected]

Subscribe to our fun mailing list for FREE updates: mdsml.substack.com

Follow the podcast network: @604podnetwork

Art: @raphe.ca

Music: Shawn Kangro

Audio produced and edited by: Alexi Johnson

Hey, listener! Please note: Rae Lynn uses they/them pronouns. In this conversation, Rae Lynn did say things may change for them, and they sure did! They strictly use they/them pronouns now. They let me know that they believed they had a lot of internalized fear about making others uncomfortable and dealing with explanations — a fear of people not getting it and disregarding their feelings — but now they feel more comfortable thanks to a lot of friends and family’s support. It made me so happy to get this update from them, and I am grateful we get to share their journey in this episode.

Rae Lynn is the funniest person in the world. I do not say that as a general statement. I say it in a “no one has made me laugh like they do, ever” and this episode is no exception. They are fucking funny as hell while openly sharing aspects about their coming out journey, how they have always felt non-binary and how being raised and trained and perceived has affected that journey.

Rae Lynn wants to help anyone who needs to realize there's no specific way or path you have to go down, that where you are now is not where you had to be or where you have to stay, every day can change. They feel themself changing constantly and they love being okay with that.

In this episode:

• We love to yell with happiness!
• We discuss the importance of a great haircut to feel the most like your fucking self that you have ever felt!
• I reveal how I peed myself at work while Rae Lynn was being too hilarious!
• Rae Lynn reveals there is no fucking handbook for being non-binary! Spoiler!
• We are open about the homophobia we both still internalise, especially as kids of the 90s, and as a result, we then didn’t want to take “the space from anyone”!
• Rae Lynn discusses how the same label can mean different things to different people! Or maybe the label is yet to be found!
• I talk about my most recent love dream! (The demisexual’s version of a sex dream!)
• Rae Lynn uses the term “queer and nervous” and I feel so seen!

RESOURCES:

• Follow Rae Lynn on TikTok @raelynncarson
• Follow Rae Lynn on Instagram @raelynncarson
• Follow Rae Lynn on Twitter @raelynncarson  

CONNECT WITH MDSML:

Email us: [email protected]

Subscribe to our fun mailing list for FREE updates: mdsml.substack.com

Follow the podcast network: @604podnetwork

Art: @raphe.ca

Music: Shawn Kangro

Audio produced and edited by: Alexi Johnson

WELCOME TO SEASON 4! CAN YOU BELIEVE? I AM SO GRATEFUL!

I mentioned in Season 3, that we were going to get my Dad, Al — the limelight stealer himself — here to open each season with me and we are here to deliver on that promise.

Al first made an appearance last season to talk about his coming out and his journey to be the “happy gay man” that he is today. To open this season, I rebel against all my strong family traits, or the family heirloom if you will, of poor communication and instead bring the communication skills I built and have grown to love, into the family dynamic. As a result, you will learn a lot more about both Al and me and we teach each other about ourselves too!

In this episode:

• Al shares the joy that comes with someone coming out to him!
• I reveal to my Dad a dream that I had the night before he came out to me!
• Al tells me if he ever had an inkling of my sexuality before I told him!
• We talk about Muriel’s Wedding! (Iconic!)
• Al talks about his feelings about the evolution of the word Queer!
• I tell Dad about demisexuality! 
• Dad talks about his first experience at a Queer venue!

Connect with MDSML:

Email us: [email protected]

Subscribe to our fun mailing list for FREE updates: mdsml.substack.com

Follow the podcast network: @chopodnetwork

Art: @raphe.ca

Music: Shawn Kangro

Audio produced and edited by: Alexi Johnson

Nathan Hare is one of the kindest, warmest, most delightful people—both IRL and on the internet. The sole reason anyone should remain on social media is to keep up with his twitter and instagram which are the funniest in my opinion.

It was an absolute pleasure to bring Nathan in for the season finale and chat being bicons. We discussed finding people at a certain time in your life when you feel ready to come out, and how those two factors can align like magic exactly when we need them to. We chatted about going to religious schools. We spoke about past partners who were not on board with our sexuality and how that made us feel. Spoiler - finding those who love every bit of you the way you are, are worth the wait. We spoke about board games teaching us internalised homophobia and instances from our childhoods where we obviously already knew we were queer and amazing, but everything else in our lives hadn’t caught up to our awesomeness yet.

Please forgive the rambles (especially the Harry Styles ones on my end). Summer finally arrived in Vancouver and the room quickly turned into a sauna. Sometimes as a host I have no idea what I am doing and that’s okay, right? It’s not about me anyway. Enjoy these wonderful shares and stories from Nathan and if you aren’t already, go and follow him on social media and listen to his podcast Forgive Us.

See you in season four, friends. I love you!

Email us: [email protected]

Follow the pod: Twitter / Instagram

Follow Lauren Deborah: Instagram

Follow the podcast network: Comedy Here Often?

Art: Raphë

Music: Shawn Kangro

Edited by: Alexi Johnson

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I saw Andrea perform recently, for the first time since the pandemimoore, and she spoke about her bisexuality for my first time hearing it and it filled me with joy to be able to congratulate her after the show on her coming out. While we emphasise that you don’t owe coming out to anyone, it was still awesome to be able to share this experience, of not really coming out but rather saying it on stage, with Andrea and seeing the joy in her sitting across from me in her being her full self during this recording. Andrea is a hilariously talented comedian and an incredibly kind and genuine human who I love the company of. I feel very honoured to have sat and talked with her about this part of her life, to be trusted with this conversation and despite many differences in our upbringings, to share so many similarities.

Andrea speaks about her upbringing at a predominantly immigrant school, where sexuality wasn’t discussed, and growing up in a Chinese family that liked to keep lots of factors in their life private, including, of course, sexuality and how ultimately this led her to not embrace her sexuality until more recently. I so appreciated the vulnerability and humour we had in this conversation and the knowing feelings of bisexuality—the good and the not so much. Getting sad and jealous when it comes to your female friends and not knowing why it hurts so much? Yeah, we have been there.

Check out Andrea’s JUNO award-winning album Grandma’s Girl here. Additionally, you can listen to Andrea’s episode of We’re Having Gay Sex here (heck yeah we promote other podcasts on this show, there may be a sea of pods hosted by straight white male comedians, but when it comes to queer content there is never enough, so we are ready to shout any and all out, baby!)

More of Andrea: https://www.andreajin.com/ 

Email us: [email protected]

Follow the pod: Twitter / Instagram

Follow Lauren Deborah: Instagram

Follow the podcast network: Comedy Here Often?

Art: Raphë

Music: Shawn Kangro

Edited by: Alexi Johnson

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The day this is released is the day you can catch Julya (and past guest Steev Letts) at Hecklers in Victoria for the PRIDE SHOW! *air horn* —please forgive my silliness in getting the date wrong and acting like it wasn’t the same day during recording.

Listening to this after the release day? Check out another show Julya is doing via their IG.

In this episode, I get to meet comedian Julya Van Der Sloot and their friend since childhood, Jenna. Julya discusses their gender and sexuality journey and how it has evolved over many years—and the ways it has depended on their surroundings and the people they are spending time with—reminding us that being around people who are allies or part of the community can help us to accept and lean in to our whole self.

The friendship between these two pals goes way back to a food court, where they unpacked a lot of deep stuff after school one day and have been friends ever since. Honestly, who *doesn’t* relate to after-school food court deep discussions? I so appreciated getting to know Julya and Jenna, and them sharing Julya’s involvement (although disheartening at times being at a catholic school) in creating their school’s first GSA and the hard work and fighting they put in to make that a reality.

This was a really lovely connection for me to make, and I look forward to more of Julya in my life in the future!

Although we in no shape way or form condone violence (so don’t get the wrong idea from the segment, haters) there may be a call out for ways in which Julya can lift a curse in the limelight stealing segment, so ya know, send us your tips for ways we can do that, sans violence.

Email us: [email protected]

Follow the pod: Twitter / Instagram

Follow Lauren Deborah: Instagram

Follow the podcast network: Comedy Here Often?

Art: Raphë

Music: Shawn Kangro

Edited by: Alexi Johnson

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What a bloody treat it was to sit with Soo Jeong this week. Adding to the shortlist of one-on-one interviews I have done, Soo and I got to connect and share her experiences coming out later in life, the importance of cutting ties with some people from chapters before she came out in order to start fresh, and the ways in which she found to be herself before she maybe really realized she was doing it. I so appreciate Soo’s ability and willingness to be open and vulnerable while giving us a huge laugh, too. We spoke about silly things we did as children, that ultimately were easter eggs for our future selves when we were ready to step into our queerness later on. Despite many differences in our upbringings, Soo and I found so much common ground in experiences and I love the beauty of the queer community to connect in that way.

Soo grew up in Korea and moved to North America when she was seventeen years old and she came out when she was thirty. Soo shares the things that happened in her childhood in Korea and in her earlier years in North America that were all steps that led her to the life she lives today — a life happily and wonderfully out and living with her wife.

I am so grateful for Soo who has always offered a warm open invitation to me in introducing me to more amazing queer people in the city, her effortless knack for hilarious and deep storytelling, her incredible writing, her witty stand-up comedy, and her extremely impressive dress collection. Oh! And she is to thank for getting us on a *certain* podcast streaming platform so if you are listening on that, it’s her you have to thank!

Email us: [email protected]

Follow the pod: Twitter / Instagram

Follow Lauren Deborah: Instagram

Follow the podcast network: Comedy Here Often?

Art: Raphë

Music: Shawn Kangro

Edited by: Alexi Johnson

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.