Comfortably Uncomfortable

@aj.afterbabyfit - afterbabyfit.com  /  @sweatandshineon - sweatandshineon.com

Today we chat and whine a bit about periods... why so taboo?? When did you first get yours? How will you handle talking about this with your daughters? How about your sons? What do you share now when they are young? Why is it so confusing when you go into a store for the first time to buy pads or tampons. Have you ever tried a menstrual cup?

What do different stages of your cycle mean and how do they influence your mood, attitude and perspective on the day?

So may questions and we chat through it ALL and more today. Just having a little fun and getting to the bottom of another uncomfortable topic!!

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@aj.afterbabyfit - afterbabyfit.com  /  @sweatandshineon - sweatandshineon.com

When it comes to health and wellness in particular, people tend to have an all or nothing mentality. 30 days, intense dieting, hard workouts, or completely falling off and leaving those things aside. Really, it all comes back to a middle ground and good habits. Alex's 12 minute Tabata is her way of finding a middle ground, you don't have to commit to hours of working out every week, finding a few minutes to fit something in is so much better than nothing. Sandy asks clients to take 5 minute actions - 5 minutes can keep you on the right track, help you with new habits, keep you moving forward.

Learn more during the podcast this week and find us on Instagram and our websites to follow along!

--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/comfortablyuncomfortable/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/comfortablyuncomfortable/support

@aj.afterbabyfit - afterbabyfit.com / @sweatandshineon - sweatandshineon.com

I don’t like to give unsolicited advice for kids - will talk forever if someone asks but not my place otherwise.

However, there are a couple exceptions when it comes to mother's health postpartum that I will happily - lactation consultant (one that believes fed is best and you don’t have to kill yourself to breastfeed), physical therapy, exercise and/or recovery which provides alone time - all center around allowing mom space to recover mentally and physically and connect with herself again. mom deserves sanity, health and care

• Exercise - If you have babies or young kids, you are constantly picking them up
• But what happens when your big kid gets hurt and all of the sudden you can’t pick him up off the ground?
• God forbid a kids falls asleep and you can’t carefully carry them up the stairs and put them in bed - that’s an easy way to blow out your low back
• A new one as I work with more clients… it’s never too late, there is never a good time to give up on yourself, you’re never too many years postpartum
  • My baby is already 7 years old it’s too late for me? Well, do you have back pain? Do you wish you had more core strength?
  • Before kids, I never had the core strength I have now - it's never too late or too early!

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Switching it up a bit today, Alex solo today. Keeping it light and practical with a few tips and exercises you can do at home or playground to make the most of your outdoor time!

Playground/driveway/yard ideas~

• Squats - many variations: add a lift to toes, jump, shuffle + squat and/or jump, on their own or in between swing pushes
• Walking lunges - with your kids
• Use a bench, bottom of a slide or random edge/log for step ups, bulgarian split squats (one foot back), parallel single leg squats/legs dip
• Crab or Bear Walks - have kids do it with you so you don’t look totally crazy
• Arm rows pulling kid in swing
• Plank with forearms on swing
• Try out the equipment doing the monkey bars or pull ups

A couple reps or minutes to help improve mood, get the blood flowing and show kids good habits. Just do whatever you can whenever you can - it all counts!

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@aj.afterbabyfit - afterbabyfit.com / @sweatandshineon - sweatandshineon.com

A heavier one for us today as we reflect on losses - that can be real, tragic, unexpected loss like the death of a loved one or a miscarriage or something less obvious like the loss of your freedom after you have a child. They are all impactful but resonate personally and socially in much in different ways. They may hit you at different times as well. Sandy and I reflect on our own losses both "big T" and "little t" trauma and how we feel it's impacted us over the years. 

It took reflection and therapy and guidance to help each of us navigate these losses and we invite you into our intimate world for a listen today. 

If you or someone you know is dealing with trauma and needs support we encourage you to speak to someone that can help. This podcast is not medical advice, it is opinion only.

--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/comfortablyuncomfortable/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/comfortablyuncomfortable/support

@aj.afterbabyfit - afterbabyfit.com  /  @sweatandshineon - sweatandshineon.com

Boundaries are tricky... it feels like we talk in circles this week about it because there is no clear definition of boundaries. It's so personal. But we do talk through a few situations we have encountered and our personal feelings on the matter. Coach and Trainer, Therapist and Client, friends, parents, partners and more. It's all here.

Join us on instagram, online and each week on the Comfortably Uncomfortable Podcast for more. 

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@aj.afterbabyfit - afterbabyfit.com / @sweatandshineon - sweatandshineon.com

How many times have you committed to a habit (Hello, New Year’s Resolutions) and then given up or not followed through? For Alex, Fall is more of a time to commit to new habits or resolutions versus New Year’s – it’s a fresh start and schedule with kids going back to school. So let’s commit together to new habits.

Neuroplasticity has come up in school for Dany recently - the science of rewiring your brain. We want to understand how to make this happen. Carolina Leaf - “Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess”. Her research says it takes 63 days to make any readjustment, to change your brain’s wiring. Let’s go through the Neural Cycle - how do you use this to create new habits or get through a hard time.

1. Gather - you are probably feeling overwhelmed with the feelings, allow the emotions to go through you. If you try to hinder them you are not moving forward through the neural cycle. No judgement or expectations.
2. Reflection - why are you sad, frustrated, angry about it. Don’t go into problem solving yet.
3. Write - physically write the reflection so you can see the words in front of you.
4. Recheck - it’s the beginning of digesting or realizing things are not as bad or big as you think they are. Create action items rather than letting it grow into a larger problem.
5. Active Reach - what is going to help you move forward, talking to somebody, buffering more time into your day. Not necessarily solving the problem but something that is helping you move forward in a cycle - not forward and backwards.

Learning it’s a cycle not linear is important to recognize, you don’t have to just be over it. You aren’t relapsing or getting worse, it’s a cycle.

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@aj.afterbabyfit / @sweatandshineon

This is not necessarily our expertise, nor our comfort zone but the money was one of the requested topics for the podcast so here we are!

Sandy had a direct experience with this finding out that another trainer at the gym with less education was making more than her. Ability to talk about it is the first hurdle. Equal wage day was March 24, 2021 where women finally caught up to the amount of money that men made last year.

Viewpoints and priorities about money are learned from your experience. This can be applied to your relationship with food and exercise and everything else. Does money define you or is it more a necessity? The psychology of money and communication styles of money differs so much from person to person. When you learn from your parents, do you hold on to their path, exactly how they did it, or do you try to do the opposite because you don’t agree with what they have done?

Consistency is the key. Just like diets, you don’t have to be crazy about it but you need to be consistent. Warren Buffet’s advice for financial success.

1. Invest in yourself

2. Honor your communication skills, measure your success by your inner scorecard

3. Your life’s success should be defined by one four letter word – LOVE

When is enough, enough? Finding joy in the place you are – meet yourself in the place you are at instead of living up to crazy expectations. The Minimalists on Instagram has a nice tagline – use things, love people.

Dave Ramsey has baby steps that we love. Follow him for more advice on the 7 steps.

--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/comfortablyuncomfortable/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/comfortablyuncomfortable/support

afterbabyfit.com - @aj.afterbabyfit  /  sweatandshineon.com - @sweatandshineon

#cupod #comfortablyuncomfortable 

Starting with Brene Brown’s definition. Shame is a focus on self, guilt is a focus on behavior. Shame is “I am bad”, guilt is “I did something bad”. The word that comes to mind for me in mom life is mom guilt but we aren’t sure that it’s really all guilt, there is shame and possibly jealousy. Trying to identify what we are experiencing is so important.

In our shame episode we talked a lot about naming the shame and shifting it and how to deal with it, refer back if you want to dig in! It’s been eye opening to understand the difference between shame and guilt. When it comes to guilt – what happens when you are being you, not intending to hurt feelings but you do and you also don’t want to change your behavior.

As moms we try to compartmentalize our life but the reality is that it is so messy and intertwined. We idealize other people’s lives and behavior and see through the “social media lens” comparing to get our measure of worth or success.

Sometimes you may do something that unintentionally hurt feelings but also, you aren’t going to change your behavior because it is best for your family or yourself. An example is divorce, shame of letting people down, but also needing to make the best choice for yourself. Both sides need the space to have their own feelings. We love the drawbridge example from Glennon Doyle’s book “Untamed”.

Sit with it, recognize it, and take the uncomfortable steps.

--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/comfortablyuncomfortable/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/comfortablyuncomfortable/support

afterbabyfit.com - @aj.afterbabyfit  /  sweatandshineon.com - @sweatandshineon

#cupod #comfortablyuncomfortable 

Starting with Brene Brown’s definition. Shame is a focus on self, guilt is a focus on behavior. Shame is “I am bad”, guilt is “I did something bad”. The word that comes to mind for me in mom life is mom guilt but we aren’t sure that it’s really all guilt, there is shame and possibly jealousy. Trying to identify what we are experiencing is so important.

In our shame episode we talked a lot about naming the shame and shifting it and how to deal with it, refer back if you want to dig in! It’s been eye opening to understand the difference between shame and guilt. When it comes to guilt – what happens when you are being you, not intending to hurt feelings but you do and you also don’t want to change your behavior.

As moms we try to compartmentalize our life but the reality is that it is so messy and intertwined. We idealize other people’s lives and behavior and see through the “social media lens” comparing to get our measure of worth or success.

Sometimes you may do something that unintentionally hurt feelings but also, you aren’t going to change your behavior because it is best for your family or yourself. An example is divorce, shame of letting people down, but also needing to make the best choice for yourself. Both sides need the space to have their own feelings. We love the drawbridge example from Glennon Doyle’s book “Untamed”.

Sit with it, recognize it, and take the uncomfortable steps.

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/comfortablyuncomfortable/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/comfortablyuncomfortable/support