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4.90 stars
41:54

Do You F*cking Mind?

by LiSTNR

Mindset hacks for a badass life, hosted by cognitive neuroscientist Alexis Fernandez.

On Mondays my episodes are a combo of neuroscience and pop pscyhology: your pep talk and mindset hacks are all here. I deep dive into everything from habit formation and how to live a carefree life, to friendships and heartbreak.

And on Thursdays we've got Head Noise - where I answer your questions! Email [email protected] to submit your questions.

Plus I've got a new book coming out in September. Pre order your copy of How to Chase Change - exclusively an audiobook - at https://bit.ly/44xwszR .

Copyright: 2024 LiSTNR - Text, image, music and sound comprising this podcast are owned by or licensed to SCA. By accessing, communicating or using this podcast, you agree to be bound by the terms available at https://podcastoneaustralia.com.au/terms

Episodes

326. HEAD NOISE: The MANY Lies Exes Tell, Growing Apart, I Cheated on my Husband

42m · Published 17 Apr 14:00

First I have a life update about something TRULY shocking that happened to me over the weekend, and I go through your stories of things men have lied to you about!

Then I get into Head Noise where I answer your questions. In today’s episode we’ve got two really opposite topics!

  1. My husband and I are in out mid 20s and have been together since our late 20s. His family are very close with him. I have recently realised that I have always put his needs above mine – his personality has become my personality. I want to do so much more, experience the world and step outside my comfort zone. I want to put off having kids for a while and he doesn’t accept or understand it. I want change and he is so happy and content without change. We’re growing apart and I don’t know what to do.
  2. I’ve cheated on my husband with someone I had a huge connection with. We’ve ended it now as we are both married and decided we didn’t want to leave our partners for each other. Now that it is fully ended I don’t feel like I need to tell my husband as our relationship has really improved. I would just be unburdening my conscience to ruin lives, when I’ve already shut down that cheating relationship and am moving forward with my life. How do I alleviate the feelings of guilt that are clouding my moving forward.

LINKS

  • Join the DYFM Facebook Group https://bit.ly/dyfm-group .
  • Follow @dyfmpodcast on IG
  • Follow @alexispredez on IG
  • Follow @listnrentertainment on IG

CREDITS

Host: Alexis Fernandez
Executive Producer & Editor: Elise Cooper
Digital Producer: Zoe Panaretos
DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh

Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

325. Trauma Bonding: What it is, How to Notice it, and Knowing When and How to Leave

54m · Published 14 Apr 14:00

What exactly is Trauma bonding? What if I told you that bonding with someone else over a traumatic event isn’t actually trauma bonding – it’s something else entirely! It’s about a relationship with someone who is traumatising and abusing you.

I’m going to take you through what a trauma bond is, how to spot it, the 7 stages of trauma bonding, and how to know when (and how) to get out of a trauma bonded relationship.

LINKS

  • Join the DYFM Facebook Group https://bit.ly/dyfm-group .
  • Follow @dyfmpodcast on IG
  • Follow @alexispredez on IG
  • Follow @listnrentertainment on IG

CREDITS

Host: Alexis Fernandez
Executive Producer & Editor: Elise Cooper
Digital Producer: Zoe Panaretos
DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh

Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

324. HEAD NOISE: Sexually Inexperienced, Letting them Down Easy, Relationship Insecurities and Messed Up Parents

38m · Published 10 Apr 14:00

It's Headnoise my beans and that means it’s time for me to answer your questions. I'm answering four of your questions this week ranging from an imbalance in sexual relationships in a partnership to trying to overcome the terrible relationship model parents set for one listener from childhood til now.

AND if you want me to answer your question just email me at [email protected]

  1. My current partner has had very limited sexual experience and our sex life is very average. Sexual compatibility is important to me and I don’t know the best way to proceed. He is a green flag in every other sense it’s just that we are at different experience and comfort levels sexually and I don’t just want to "cross my fingers: and hope it gets better. What should I do?
  2. After listening to your episode on Limerence Vs Love (linked below) I am beginning to think I might be the object of limerence with someone. The person I’m dating obviously has stronger feelings than me and I was wondering what the best way is to let them down easy?
  3. I’m worried that I’m my fiancé’s second choice. I’ve seen him in the past search her up on social media and it’s a niggling doubt that the only reason he is with me is because I was the safe choice after his tumultuous relationship with her.
  4. Struggling in a relationship based on the model my parents set for me. I discovered my mum was cheating on my dad when I was a kid (saw the text messages) and withheld that from my dad – and I know the affair continues to this day. They have a terrible relationship. So all I’ve ever seen modelled is disfunction and hurt.

LINKS

  • Listen to my episode on Limerance – Episode 302 Limerance Vs Love https://pod.fo/e/21cef1 .
  • Join the DYFM Facebook Group https://bit.ly/dyfm-group .
  • Follow @dyfmpodcast on IG
  • Follow @alexispredez on IG
  • Follow @listnrentertainment on IG

CREDITS

Host: Alexis Fernandez
Executive Producer & Editor: Elise Cooper
Digital Producer: Zoe Panaretos
DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh

Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

323. You Don't have to Beg, Force, or Chase to get what you Deserve

42m · Published 07 Apr 21:44

How do you know when something isn’t right for you? Sometimes we get caught up in the idea that hard work or working really hard for something will always bring it out in the best in us, but sometimes it’s just not worth it. In this episode we’re going to find out how to identify that and how to stop chasing after things that are not meant for you.

We’ll also find out what you can do instead to start living a life that feels right.

LINKS

  • Listen to Episode 317 ‘Intrinsic Vs Extrinsic Motivation’ at https://pod.fo/e/228a96.
  • Join the DYFM Facebook Group https://bit.ly/dyfm-group .
  • Follow @dyfmpodcast on IG
  • Follow @alexispredez on IG
  • Follow @listnrentertainment on IG

CREDITS

Host: Alexis Fernandez
Executive Producer & Editor: Elise Cooper
Digital Producer: Zoe Panaretos
DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh

Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

322. HEADNOISE: Am I Being Too Needy, A Tricky Friendship, and Fixing a Mismatched Sex Life

36m · Published 03 Apr 13:00

It's Headnoise my beans and that means it’s time for me to answer your questions. Here’s what I’m tackling this week. AND if you want me to answer your question just email me at [email protected]

  1. I’ve had the same partner for a few years and we’re two women in our 20s. We’ve had a few bumps in the road as most relationships do, and without sounding like a douche a fair few have them have been her doing/from her. She has pushed me away quite a few times and treated our relationship poorly in the beginning. We’ve been in a more stable and healthy relationship in the last 9 months. I still think we can get better from both sides, and listening to your podcast has made me want to share your advice with her. She doesn’t like self-help or advice books and things. How can I get her more invested without pushing her boundaries. Am I being needy and are my expectations unfair?
  2. My best mate of many years has a complicated life and mental health struffles. She has serious enmeshment with everyone she meets. Her self-image is the most important quality to her. She’s struggled with her body image issues and projected that onto her friends. She’s very rarely single for longer that 2 weeks. She’s in therapy but mostly focuses on her sexual and romantic relationships. She’s quite selfish. I’m struggling with resentment given how long we have been friends and how badly her behaviour affects me and others.
  3. Sex in my long term relationship is fizzling. I’m worried about getting the ick too after a few therapy sessions where the counsellor called out red flags in my partners behaviour. My partner really is quite sexually physical and I’m just not interested in his lacklustre foreplay and just want him to hurry up so I can go to sleep. I know this question is asked a lot but what can I do? I love my partner and don’t want this to be the end.

LINKS

  • Listen to 'Where Should We Begin' with Esther Perel https://www.estherperel.com/podcast .
  • Join the DYFM Facebook Group https://bit.ly/dyfm-group .
  • Follow @dyfmpodcast on IG
  • Follow @alexispredez on IG
  • Follow @listnrentertainment on IG

CREDITS

Host: Alexis Fernandez
Executive Producer & Editor: Elise Cooper
Digital Producer: Zoe Panaretos
DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh

Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

321. How to Stop Inviting Drama into Your Life

41m · Published 01 Apr 13:00

First up I have a life update – I’m going to try out publishing my episodes on Mondays and Thursdays from here on in (although this episode is coming out on a Tuesday because it’s a national public holiday here in Australia.)

And on Thursdays you can expect the Head Noise episode.

Okay now – THIS episode, I’m diving into how to stop inviting drama into your life. Do you find that drama alllways finds you? This is going to help you stop finding yourself in the middle of the bitching, get away from the gossip, and be a fab chill queen bean.

SCIENCE FACT: How pathogens (a disease causing mechanism) is destroyed within the body.

LINKS:

  • Join the DYFM Facebook Group https://bit.ly/dyfm-group .
  • Follow @dyfmpodcast on IG
  • Follow @alexispredez on IG
  • Follow @listnrentertainment on IG

CREDITS

Host: Alexis Fernandez
Executive Producer & Editor: Elise Cooper
Digital Producer: Zoe Panaretos
DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh

Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

320. The secret to creating habits that last

13m · Published 28 Mar 13:00

Habits! Those pesky little things that we're told time and time again are key to getting your life on track. They can feel like a tough nut to crack so in partnership with Medibank I’m taking you through my tips for how to form habits that last.

LINKS:

  • Listen to my episode 108. How Habits can Transform Your Life at https://rebrand.ly/he7hbsr .
  • Listen to episode 280. How to form a habit that STICKS! At https://rebrand.ly/bxmjqfy .
  • Join the DYFM Facebook Group https://bit.ly/dyfm-group .
  • Follow @dyfmpodcast on IG
  • Follow @alexispredez on IG
  • Follow @listnrentertainment on IG

CREDITS

Host: Alexis Fernandez
Executive Producer & Editor: Elise Cooper
Digital Producer: Zoe Panaretos
DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh

Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

319. Top 10 Non-Negotiables in Dating

44m · Published 24 Mar 13:00

First up I have a life update about my Sydney Live show.
Then I get into the science of your nervous system, and the 7 types of nervous systems. (no there isn’t just one).

Then I take you through my top 10 non-negotiables to be aware of when you’re dating.

LINKS:

  • Listen to episode 284 ‘Boundaries vs Controlling Behaviour’ at https://pod.fo/e/211dea .
  • Join the DYFM Facebook Group https://bit.ly/dyfm-group .
  • Follow @dyfmpodcast on IG
  • Follow @alexispredez on IG
  • Follow @listnrentertainment on IG

CREDITS

Host: Alexis Fernandez
Executive Producer & Editor: Elise Cooper
Digital Producer: Zoe Panaretos
DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh

Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

318. HEAD NOISE: A 10 Year Affair, Situationship Advice, and Wanting Kids when My Partner Doesn't

27m · Published 21 Mar 13:00

This is my HEAD NOISE episode where you send in your questions and I answer them!

In this episode you’ve asked for my advice on these questions.

  1. A friend of mine admitted that she had been having an affair for 10 years. Looking back I think she told me because she was looking for someone to condone her behaviour. Unfortunately for her I did not. Every time I pointed her in the direction of bettering her situation she would come up with an excuse. I don’t know what else to do. Is this friendship a lost cause?
  2. I'm starting to get feelings for my “Situationship” or as I’ve started calling it, my situationshit. I met him 4 years ago when travelling and had a one night thing. We kept in touch here and there over the years. Cut to few years later when we were both single again and started having amazing weekends together whenever travel plans aligned. The thing is, I now live closer to him (the reason I moved is separate to him) and I can feel myself getting proper feelings. What should I do?
  3. My partner and I have been together for 4 years and in our early 30s. I really want children but he doesn’t/ We’ve been talking about it on and off for 18 months and have been going to therapy about it. I’m holding on to hope – how long is too long to hold on to that hope.

LINKS:

  • Send YOUR Head Noise questions to [email protected]
  • Join the DYFM Facebook Group https://bit.ly/dyfm-group .
  • Follow @dyfmpodcast on IG
  • Follow @alexispredez on IG
  • Follow @listnrentertainment on IG

CREDITS

Host: Alexis Fernandez
Executive Producer & Editor: Elise Cooper
Digital Producer: Zoe Panaretos
DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh

Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

317. Intrinsic vs Extrinsic Motivation: How to maximise your motivation

38m · Published 19 Mar 13:00

A couple of topics in this episode today Beans!

Firstly I’ve got a cool science fact about milk and hydration.

And a life update – I’m in META hell and it’s a PSA that you need to turn on 2FA on your social media accounts cause the scam artists are out in full force!

Plus for the bulk of the episode I’m talking about Intrinsic Vs Extrinsic Motivation. How understanding the difference between the two is going to help you to get things done – particularly when you keep falling off the motivation train.

LINKS:

  • Listen to episode 25. What it Takes with Stefanie AKA My Sister at https://pod.fo/e/20d311 .
  • Join the DYFM Facebook Group https://bit.ly/dyfm-group .
  • Follow @dyfmpodcast on IG
  • Follow @alexispredez on IG
  • Follow @listnrentertainment on IG

CREDITS

Host: Alexis Fernandez
Executive Producer & Editor: Elise Cooper
Digital Producer: Zoe Panaretos
DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh

Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Do You F*cking Mind? has 336 episodes in total of explicit content. Total playtime is 234:39:16. The language of the podcast is English. This podcast has been added on March 26th 2023. It might contain more episodes than the ones shown here. It was last updated on May 31st, 2024 14:40.

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